Guest's 6 year old is terrified of our colllie

[Teamedup]

I was that child. I am almost about that bad as an adult.

You can't deal with it as such. We have a dog, little when we got it, big now and yet I daren't walk her as I feel like I could die when I see other dogs if I take her out, worse still if they come over.

This isn't some inanimate object, they have teeth, they do bite. Not my dog? I HATE it when people say that, I really do. Our dog is known for being gentille, she has been gentle with friends baby's. She has played gently with toddlers and kids. Would she never bite........................SHE is a dog, not a human and if the mood takes her she could. She never has and an old gal now, 11 years old, but she could.

[Hoddy]

"They say they are happy".

I bet they are. They have a child with a problem and they've successfuly transferred the problem to you. I'm afraid I have very little sympathy for them and lots for you and your dog. If your website makes it plain that you have a dog they really cannot expect it to be tied up all week.

My instinct would be to tell them straight, after all you don't need repeat business from this family do you ?

Hoddy

[Dick Smith]

"The answer is simple. Don't cook it, no amount of cheese sauce will disguise what it really is. "

 

John - does this refer to the dog or the child? After all, I like children, but I couldn't eat a whole one...

 

(Boom Boom as Basil Brush used to alliterate...)

[Chocolate]

Lori, I have followed this thread as the tale unfolded with a lot of interest. A screaming child is heart-wrenching and upsetting, and to be aware that it is your dog causing the problem saps the confidence around aspects of letting.

However : The parents knew of her problem before they arrived as clearly it wasn't fresh to them. They also knew that a dog lived on site. Why did they go ahead and book? Is this some kind of aversion therapy? Surely not. Did they hope that the problem might be solved due to forced close proximity to a dog? A bit hard on Lori, the dog and the child. It could cause more trouble for the child on this amatuerish basis if that is so. It may be a long time before this little girl either 'grows out' of her fear, or it may never leave her as others on the forum may themselves continue to experience even as adults.

Why is she reacting sooooo badly? I was terrified of dogs as a child, (one picked me up by the seat of my pants as a toddler and shook me like a rag doll!) so I am not being hard on the poor child. But it isn't unknown for children to have an agenda of their own, to unconsciously enjoy the power the screaming and resultant adult reaction that it brings. This sounds hard and some of you will shout back at me perhaps but I have seen this on several occasions as an x teacher of many years.

This is a situation that came in the child's suitcase with her. The parents are responsible for her and where they take her. You cannot take all this as your fault. If you have warned on paper of a resident dog, clearly have taken all the steps you can to reduce the stress level for the little girl (and also your dog) then that is your duty of care fulfilled. The parents should come some way to help with notification of visits off your grounds to give you and your dog some space too as well as reduce the dread in the little girl's mind if it is really frightening her. Don't give up on your business if you enjoy it apart from these guests. Just don't. There are lots of nice people out there who will love staying with a concerned gentle gite owner like yourself.

 

[Lori]

Chocolate - could be true, after seeing (and hearing) a bit more of this child, it does look like a bit of attention seeking, but I am no Psychologist.  You are right too, we have met so many really nice people, people who come back here every year and I guess I am not ready to give that up, but as noted before, we will no longer accept children.

Hoddy - Yes, the dog information is in the Booking Form.  We keep it there for people who may be allergic or hate dogs.  They have to sign the Rental Form before a reservation is accepted.  I assume they read it.

 

Teamedup - It sounds like  you've made lots of progress.  You actually have a dog.  That sure sounds like progress to me.  Perhaps you don't do well with strange dogs, but I bet you don't start screaming....

 

Georgina - I agree that when a child has a screaming fit, the parents need to work hard on the problem.  My daughter was no saint in her toddler years.  My husband and I stayed home most of her age 2 to 4 time period.  When we did go on vacation, we made sure we booked single family homes where the occasional "fit" would not disturb anyone but us.  I believe that is what these people should have done.  My neighbor (French), whom I love (she and her husband are farmers here) told me (after the first 11 pm scream fit) to let them know that it is clear this place does not meet their requirements, give them their money back and tell them to leave.  I was not able to do that (probably never could), but I understood where she was coming from. 

Stevie - perhaps you're right, it could be easier to take pets than children.

These kids are taking plastic drinking bottles (with the small caps) into the pool to play with.  Today when I went out to pull some weeds, I collected the empty bottles blowing in the yard.  They saw me doing this.  They signed the POOL RULES, which are also sent with the booking form.  These types of things are noted as against the rules.  Plus, when I asked them when they would like the Saturday housekeeping done - morning or afternoon, I was told, we'll have to think about that.  The look I got was as if I was putting them out just asking. 

Okay, so now I am overly sensitive.  I guess I am lucky I can vent my feelings on this forum (even though you are all bound to be sick of me by now), there is no one else right next to me to scream at.

[Teamedup]

When I was a child this sort of thing rarely happened. We never as far as I can remember ever ended up staying anywhere where there were dogs. I'm not even sure that my parents even realised the nature of the problem I had. I would walk to school every day, like you did then, and if I saw a dog in the distance would do a detour, I knew them all.

And scream, not as much, although I can. When my kids were little all sorts of hormones would take over and I think I would frighten any dog off who came near as if it dared touch my kids I could have/ likely would have attacked it. However, I haven't got those hormonal surges and my kids are grown up and it is as bad as it ever was. I still squeal when a bee or wasp comes near me too and they always seem to come near me.

 

And just to show how my fear worked and how 'aware' one dog was of it. My friend had a dog and when I called round it would have to be taken out of the room.When I walked past as I would on my way home, it would go mad barking and jumping around.  One day it saw me through the window and jumped to get at me and put the glass through. Fortunately I didn't see that happen. Incidentally everyone said that this dog was tres gentil too and he never did bite anyone. It just never helped.

[Owens88]

Lori

Don't ban children but do go overboard on saying whatever is accurate about dogs sharing the grounds.

John

 

[Lori]

Owens, thanks for that, but too late.  This experience is not over for us yet.  We have another week to live it.  I cannot even imagine having to go through this again.  I am leaving out a lot as I'm sure you would all be bored to death with all the details.  Needless to say, I cannot look at arriving children in the same way again.  To me, that means, for all those involved, I shouldn't accept them.  Husband is insisting we stop renting.  I am leaning toward that too.  If I have to ask myself if I really want to do this, I have probably already answered my own question.

[Polycarpe]

Hi Lori,

It seems to me that in general you enjoy the company of your guests (present company excepted) and that their holidays are enriched enormously by your care and attentiveness. It would be a great pity for all concerned if you never took visitors again.

How about a period of reflection? If money isn't the compelling reason for renting, perhaps you could take as much of the rest of the season off as you can; honouring existing bookings but taking no more. After a break and some more reasonable, responsible and appreciative guests, you might remember why you went into this business.

Whatever you decide, I hope that you regain your equilibrium soon and your dog gets the garden back.

Fingers crossed for the rest of their stay.

Rob

[Lori]

You know it is 11:40 pm and I am rather frustrated.  I went out to bring TouTou (our dog) in the house for the evening and our "guests" arrived about 5 minutes later.  Really bad timing.  The dog has been neglected for a week now as these people simply cannot accept him.  He came out of his small yard with his ball in his mouth.  Hard to resist, I threw it for him to play.  They drove in.  I ran to get him, saying that obviously this was bad timing, but that I would bring him in immediately.  They just stood there by the car as if they were statutes.   This does not work for me.

After they left all the windows in the apt. open with slamming and rattling constantly (after asking them to please close the windows when they go out) and picking up all their plastic water bottles from the pool and garden, plus the screaming whenever the dog is in his own yard, I am without patience.  I guess this is not my specialty.  I have actually emailed guests who come here regularly (every year) whom I have become friends with and they think I am right to say no to children.  Right or not, it doesn't really matter.  I have never felt so uncomfortable in my own home.  It is over now.  I have greatly enjoyed the adults who have visited here.  I will never forget them or lose touch with them, but my time has ended.

I wish you all the best and the most success.  I have left the business. 

[Russethouse]

Why don't you just ask these people to leave ? It seems to me that they are being very inconsiderate and nothing is worth making your life (or your dogs) as miserable as this.

[Christine Animal]

Lori, don’t let this situation get at you, what Hoddy said seems true, they have managed to transfer their problem on to you. What is two weeks in a whole lifetime? If you take a hasty decision you may miss some wonderful moments in the future for other guests and for you with them.

Several years ago we decided to go for a short break in Tunisia (something we had never done before) and had a week out of this world at the Grand Hôtel, Hammamet. After this wonderful experience we decided to try Greece with the same company and had the worst holiday ever. We couldn’t believe that they had sent us to this dirty, dingy, awful hotel and when we returned wrote a letter of complaint. They made the small gesture of offering us something like a 10% reduction on another trip. So, off we went again, this time to Morocco, and we had the most wonderful, beautiful week anyone could wish for, something I shall always remember.

So you never know what may be round the corner. Right now you are as we felt in Greece, never again! Once they have gone, you may feel differently, when you are able to appreciate everything once more.

One thing’s for sure, if your guests ever get on here and read all this, they’ll never be back!