Back to Blighty

[tkndnv]

Well, after a stint in Paris I have decided to come home. Everything went as planned, my French is fine so I managed to land a job, a flat and a life but somehow something was missing and I realised it was the UK. I fought the desire to return for a while -I have lived abroad before and know what regular homesickness is like but since this time the move was supposed to be "permanent", it was worse.

Now back in the UK, I have no job and at 24 years old am dealing with the shame of having to live back with my parents for a bit until I can afford to rent somewhere but for the first time in what feels like ages - I'm happy. I do feel as though I failed on some accounts and wonder whether I threw in the sponge too soon (18 months) but being back feels so right I have no real regrets.

I didn't go searching for a better life, I know France has its problems just as the UK does and I tried my hardest to be happy. Perhaps I'm just one of those unadventurous types for whom home will always be home. Now comes the existential crisis - am I a complete loser so viscerally tied to her roots that I will never go anywhere? And is never going anywhere OK if it makes you happy?

 

[JohnM]

Don't consider there being any shame in being back with your parents, if they are happy to have (or can put up with their peace being shattered) and vice versa, then just enjoy it. (I've done it 3 times now).

As for not suceeding in Paris... at least you've tried whch is more than many people can say.

 

[GRT17]

Nothing wrong with returning to your roots, heritage and a country you love and enjoy.

Good luck with the job search and the rest of your life.

Bon courage

Gill

[bizzer]

Hi Tk

Bravo you have done something others have yet to dream about --- Living and working abroad.

I have taught people over the years and they have never moved out of the towns they were born in and think a trip to the next biggest town is a fab day out....

Good luck in everything you do and you have a long time ahead of you to "do it all again over and over again"

Best wishes

[Anton Redman]

Over 30 years ago I heaved a massive sigh of relief when I found 'Up the Junction' and 'The L Shaped Room' in a the 'Action in Distress' book shop in Kigali in Rwanda. It meant a weekend 'at home' , ie staying in a grotty hotel and reading , not having to think in one language and speak another and possibly respond in a third even though 'home' was a place I never wanted to be. Big cities are much lonelier than small towns.

[letrangere]

"somehow something was missing and I realised it was the UK"

Was it really the UK itself or perhaps family and friends?  Food, TV, films and plenty of pubs are readily available but it is harder to find friends and perhaps that was what you felt was missing?  As Anton says, it can be very easy to feel lonely in a big city and I know many expats of various nationalities who had problems initially in Paris.

I'm going to go against the flow here and suggest that perhaps you try again.  Put out feelers with your former employers in Paris, any chance of another job?  Contact the British Embassy on arrival, drop in and see them is best.  There are ads on the noticeboard for a 1001 different types of groups and activities.  If that doesn't appeal, look in on Paris Parler website, I think it's www.parisparler.com.  This is run by an American and a terrific site for meeting other English and French speakers. 

Try and keep enough cash (tricky in Paris!) to ensure you can fly home for the occasional weekend.  I know this helped several friends of mine at first.  But after a while they began to lose the need or round themselves too busy with new found friends.

bon courage

M

 

[Kayjay<P> <P><P>"Passer sa vie à lutter contre la connerie est le meilleur procédé pour mourir dépuisement."<P>]

[quote]"somehow something was missing and I realised it was the UK" Was it really the UK itself or perhaps family and friends? Food, TV, films and plenty of pubs are readily available but it is harder to ...[/quote]

"Food, TV, films and plenty of pubs are readily available.... "

At the risk of stating the obvious, if a lot of time (or even a portion of it) is spent searching out those things then one questions whether the person has actually left their home country at all, at least in their own mind.  The whole beauty about France is that it ISN'T the UK.  Just as Mr Tebbit would apply the "cricket test" to immigrants to the UK, I would suggest that it behoves immigrants to France to apply the same test to themselves.  We don't have the excuse of political persecution, ethnic cleansing or abject poverty for choosing to come to live in France - if we don't want to throw ourselves into the experience 100%, maybe we SHOULD do what some xenophobic French people suggest and go back where we came from.....there is a whole country just across the Channel which is swimming in British food (curry? pizza? hamburgers? sweet and sour? kebabs? kronenbourg? chablis? rioja?), TV, newspapers, films, pubs, etc, etc.