Just a dream

[driftwood62]

Hi Nikki, I also would say go for it.  My husband and I along with our children have been visiting France for many years now and also had that dream of eventually moving to live in France. 

We let time run along and before to long other things over took us and 20 plus years have passed with us still hooked in to the system in England.  My husband is due to take early retirement at a relatively young 50 years of age and for around the last couple of years we have once again been looking at this dream with more focus.  We now realise that we should have made the move years ago, been gung ho and some how found a way of making it work.

May be we did the right thing by waiting, we will never know.  Now however the niggles are not work, health and education, they have change to hope some one comes to see us occasionally.  The first three stopped us making the move all them years ago, the latter should not be such a problem now though as I think our families would use the opportunity for holidays and visiting.

The journy is said to be better that the arrival, or so the quote goes, but I am now looking forward to that arrival and the beginning of a new life and wealth of experiences that await.

Yvonne

[Ian]

Welcome to the forum Driftwood62 - and what a great opening post.  I'm sure Nikki will benefit from your experience. Turn that dream into reality.

[Goldfish]

Thanks everyone

You've all been great and so welcoming.

We have decided that we are moving to France whether it takes us 6 months or 6 years we're going. We have no clue where at the moment. I think we'll just look at propertys find one we like, research the area & if it sounds right we'll go and take a look.

In the mean time I'm still researching everyday & looking at some beautiful houses and scenery.

The more I see the more I love it and just want to be there now [:D]

 

[KathyF]

Hi Goldfish, really hope you manage to realise your dream. My only bit of advice would be not to spend too much time online looking at houses, enjoyable as this is. [:)]  As you've already found out, websites don't always get updated regularly and you could fall fruitlessly in love with a lot of houses. Much better to research areas and go across whenever you can to get the feel of the areas you are starting to favour and look in estate agents' windows. So many houses never make it onto websites  - ours didn't even make it onto a sheet of details, as we were shown it the day after the agent had been mandated to sell it and had our offer accepted the following day.

[Howards Carpentry]

Hi Goldfish, Why is it your so sure France will be better for you than the UK? It's not utopia here, far from it. If you have enough money not to worry about working ever again I agree it's really very nice. However since we've been living here I have been amazed how many people are living on very little money once their dream renovation ends and they have to find work. The folks in this group normally feel they cant afford to move back, others who can hang around for months trying to get top money for their house here to limit the damage.

Education, is it better here? our children were more interested in school and learning back in England. Yes our children now speak French, but is that worth what they've had to leave? There is no facility near us for swimming lessons for example no cubs or scouts. There is an out side pool in the next village but thats only open for the period of the summer holidays, and to be honest it's a bit run down. 

Food in supermarkets is expensive and limited, people who think France leads the world in the eating department are wrong. The choice of different foods from around the world is far greater in the UK than here. If you choose to live in an area full of British expats the supermarkets do get stuff in but it's only for expats benefit and their sales figures. Like any where if you can afford to eat in decent resturants you get great food, but we feed a family of five and it's no cheaper here just less interesting.

We do have a much larger house here than in the Uk with loads of space, the weather is better, the roads are clear and smooth, we can ski and mountain bike in real mountains and I have a small registered business which is working but I now spend my working life alone. It's very hard to see how the business can grow as employing help is just too expensive, the people I know of who have are crippled by the cost.These factors will make it harder for you to find employment.

So when you read postings from people telling you how brilliant their lives are, remember there are two sides of the coin they may have more money than you will have access to, and if you dont speak/ understand French god help you, get real.

I know you will want to try it, good luck, and I fully understand anyone wanting to leave the Uk, two years ago I hated the overcrowded sh** hole. All I'm saying is that for various reasons the grass may not be greener here.        

[Ian]

Howards's Carpentry (great name) makes an excellent point. No two people will view the same situation equally.  A French friend of mine is considering moving to England for a few years to forward his career ... I don't know if there exists a "Living England" discussion forum, but I can imagine two quite different schools of thought about someone relocating themselves and their family to Britain:

"DailyMail" would say "UK?! Pah! The place is going to the dogs. The weather is always grey. The head of state is unelected. Housing costs are astronomical. The country is on the brink of recession.  Personal debt has spun out of control.  Families are fragmented.  There is an ever growing pension crisis.

Parents both have to work all hours to keep up with the cost of living. Obese Alcho-pop fuelled hooded youths roam the streets.  Teenage pregnancy rates are appalling. Micowave meals are the national dish. Fuel costs and home taxes cripple the average worker. Traffic congestion means every largish town is at a standstill. The health service is massively overstretched and the hospitals are filthy.

The manufacturing industry is in crisis - jobs are being exported to India and China. Britain is isolationist and trys to keep its distance from Europe which it regards with suspicion. There is a significant sector of the population who view immigration as a threat and are hostile to incomers. Don't come here!"

"RoseTint" would say "UK? - Wow! It's the finest country in the World. Incredible history and tradition yet modern. Longstanding World leaders in quality broadcast media, literature and arts. Spectacular countryside - never far away. The city of London is the global centre of finance. Hi-tech electronics, financial institutions, pharmaceutical, biotechnology and entertainment industries thrive.

The culture is one of go-getting entrepreneurism. Salaries are high for those who work hard. Some of the greatest schools and most prestigious Universities in the World. Home to some of the World's finest restaurants and every small town has a choice of exotic foreign cuisines.  The shops offer immense choice. Britain is part of Europe and more; it enjoys fantastic close ties with the USA and Australia, Canada, New Zealand and other commonwealth nations - meaning many opportunities for travel, work and career.  Britain is hugely tolerant and welcoming to immigrants: Brits love French furniture, Indian food, German cars, American TV, Italian fashion, Polish plumbing, Chinese everything, Hungarian bricklaying, Albanian carpentry and the NHS is practically staffed exclusively by immigrants. The English language is the future and the present for global communication. Come to England, the promised land now!"

Both points have view are true as far as the posters are concerned.   Both would claim "I am not being negative/positive - I'm just being realistic!".

Everyone's reality is different.

[Howards Carpentry]

A jolly good posting Ian. I dont want to appear too negative but there seemed to be a lot of suger coated follow your dream type of cr*p on this thread.

France is great if you have enough money, money can get you out of trouble, but moving here with a large family and a barn owl would not be an easy ride and expats telling people 'all will be great go for it' not knowing there situation is giving folk false hope. Cheers.

[triciajh]

    Don't knock people who follow their dream.That's exactly what we are doing! We've wanted t o move to France for years and now we are doing it. It is easier for us as we are retired (early) and will have enough money but we will be bringing 2 horses,4 dogs and 3 cats!!  Life is too short and you do have to take chances some time. We spent several years in America when our children were young(5 of them!) and enjoyed it. Also it was very good for the kids .

Nothing ventured,nothing gained. Every country has its good and bad points. Most people accept that nothing is perfect in life and that you have to find your own happiness wherever you live.

You have to be realisic when you move to a new country,it won't be perfect but there is nothing wrong with having a dream. Children are very adaptable and love adventure. Being fluent in French would be so good for them. English schools aren't brilliant these days either!

[Howards Carpentry]

Im not knocking anybody, just saying France is not utopia. Being in a position to retire early and therefore not needing an income is nothing like moving to France with not much knowledge of the place limited comunication skills and the need for income. Life anywhere is easier if you've already made your nest egg, and I'm certainly not knocking you for that, well done, and I hope you enjoy all France has to offer.  

[The Riff-Raff Element]

[quote user="Ian"] ... I don't know if there exists a "Living England" discussion forum, but I can imagine two quite different schools of thought about someone relocating themselves and their family to Britain...

[/quote]

Ian...that is brilliant.

[triciajh]

    Thanks for wishing me all thebest in France. We certainly didn't have a nest egg when we were in the States but did speak the language! The children were very young at the time and a good income which helps!

All I'm saying is that having dreams even though they may not be fulfilled is what makes life worth living. I can't believe that any-one would be so naive to think everything would be perfect when they move to a new country.

[jon]

Nothing is perfect...because life is a pursuit of perfection.   The world is nothing without dreamers.

[Cendrillon]

[quote user="jon"]Nothing is perfect...because life is a pursuit of perfection.   The world is nothing without dreamers.[/quote]

Lovely words Jon and we all need dreams BUT there comes a point when reality kicks in and it is sometimes wise to be realistic.[:)]

[Limousin Lass]

A young couple we know who have 3 young children decided to follow their dream 4 years ago.  They sold their house in the UK for a substantial profit, after they had bought here outright they still had quite a bit of capital. 

4 years on, neither the husband or the wife have been able to find meaningful employment, although they both speak fairly fluent french, their capital has gone, the rows have been tremendous. Now they are trying to sell.  For them their dream has turned into a nightmare, they thought they were doing it for a better life for their children but admit that the stress has taken its toll on the whole family and they are now having behavioural problems with the children.

They admit they didn't research the employment possibilities before they decided to make their move, they had not had any problems finding jobs in the Uk and assumed it would be the same in France.

After listening to their story I would advise any young couple to research employment possibilities or, if you have a skill to start you own business, is it required in your chosen area.  My personal view is that a house is a house it is the people in it that make it a home.

Sorry don't wnt to put a dampener on anyones dream but sometimes that dream is not worth it.

 

[jon]

I do agree that moving abroad.....and indeed moving to France depends on many factors.

I do not suggest that a young couple sell everything they have in England and rushe over to France with their children.

Neither do I suggest that a young French person dashes over to London from the middle of Normandy...there are so many questions to answer and things to sort out first.

One thing which is obvious to me is that the dream must live inside you and you go towards it when and if the moment is right.Some of you are too ready to trample on other peoples dreams before you analyse the facts.If you live in France...and feel that you have made the wrong move.. work on making your life happier...that can be achieved.Maybe with the help of others.Maybe with the help of this forum?

 

If you have a home in more than one country and enjoy that...well thats perfect.....but this group[on the forum] seems to be a little smug...maybe!

 

[Panda]

[quote user="jon"]

...but this group[on the forum] seems to be a little smug...maybe!

[/quote]

Ha! That's rich coming from  he/she who tries to name drop at every opportunity [:-))]

[Cendrillon]

"If you have a home in more than one country and enjoy that...well thats perfect.....but this group[on the forum] seems to be a little smug...maybe!"

Don't forget that many people who post here are speaking with the voice of experience Jon, hindsight is a great thing![;-)]

[Jacqui Too]

[quote user="jon"]If you have a home in more than one country and enjoy that...well thats perfect.....but this group[on the forum] seems to be a little smug...maybe![/quote]

Jan with comments like that no wonder you are getting a lot of flack, as a newbie of only 20 days you do seem to have got off on the wrong foot a little[;-)]

 

[triciajh]

    Actually I agree with a lot of what Jon says- aren't newbies allowed to have an opinion?

There's an awful lot of negativity floating around on this thread. Of course you have to be realistic but a little bit of positivity doesn't hurt!

[jon]

 

....BYE

[raindog]

[quote user="triciajh"]    Actually I agree with a lot of what Jon says- aren't newbies allowed to have an opinion?

There's an awful lot of negativity floating around on this thread. Of course you have to be realistic but a little bit of positivity doesn't hurt!

[/quote]

There might be alot, but there's still less than the sugar coated, rose smelling, rhapsodic stuff. [:D]

(christ, i've got to stop using this smiley, i'm starting to look as if i've got hysteria)

[Tresco]

[quote user="triciajh"]...There's an awful lot of negativity floating around on this thread. Of course you have to be realistic but a little bit of positivity doesn't hurt![/quote]

Hi Tricia.

There's a lot of positivity here too.

I think it's quite natural that people will discuss/debate the less than 'dreamy' aspects of living here.

As you said, when you went to USA with your children, you were at least fluent in the language (both written and spoken). That probably made a fundamental difference to your ability to not only support yourself financially, but to help your children with school/homework, and of course for all of you to build up friendships/relationships with neighbours,  etc.

These things make a huge difference, and shouldn't be underestimated by anyone.

[Ian]

It's hardly surprising that this Forum should be heavily populated with people who are positive about moving to France (no doubt skewed more heavily than the population as a whole). 

I am a regular on forums dedicated to backgammon, fishing, Winston Churchill and wine (that's 4 different forums!) ... and it is fair to say that the members of these are more keen about their chosen passions than the average man in the street/on the clapham omnibus. 

The advice one receives on topic specific forums tends to come from people in "the club" - this can mean somewhat biased (backgammon is the best game in the World...isn't it?) but also often knowledgeable advice from people who have considerable experience (you'll cast a tighter loop and get less tangles if your backcast angles up and you don't flex your wrist).

I'm pretty much a positive so and so too ... so feel free to leven my enthusiasm (I love it here in France! Woo-Hoo!) with some good old drizzle-fueled anglosaxon doom, gloom and cynicism (or "dose of reality" if you prefer to call it that)

 

[triciajh]

    I do agree it was probably easier living in U.S.A because of language but we still had problems.

All I am saying is that  some people are being too negative. It doesn't hurt to be positive as long as you don't lose your sense of realism.

Of course you must do a lot of research be fore you make a move to any new country.  If my children were young I would make sure my French was good enough to help them with their homework!!

Don't give up on your dreams,just be realistic. You only get one life!

[Howards Carpentry]

How would you make sure your French was good enough ? by the time you've learnt the ins and out of grammer they've already overtaken you in the school playground while you flounder at the school gates with other mums who dont speak with you because they think you can't understand. It's not that easy.