Edward Trunk

In the 1980s I spent two weeks in a small town in the middle of Sweden in the middle of winter. The sun rose at 10am and set by 2pm; alcohol was available only from the official liquor shop and was prohibitively expensive; there were 2 cafes in the town; one was owned by the Lutheran church and the other was known as "the sinful cafe" because it had a fruit machine. At the end of my time there I had lost the will to live.

Every time you change in that telephone booth Clarkkent, you leave a sock behind.

"Some of us..." have you conducted a poll. Russethouse, or are you falling into the trap of all those Guardianista feminists who think that all women must have the same values and want the same things?

The writer Fay Weldon said recently that a wife who loved her husband would pick up his socks. To test this, I dropped a sock between the living room and bedroom. (I had to go and get one from the sock drawer because at this time of year I am not wearing socks.) It was picked up, but I was severely reprimanded for dropping it. Would a pure, fine love include a reprimand? Or was this tough love?

We have been offered a pair of kittens, three months old, brother and sister, at present both un-neutered. We had brother-and-sister cats before, (both neutered)and eventually the male began to bully the female. We tried everything - giving them separate food bowls, well apart, etc, but it didn't improve. and the female took to staying out of the house all day and coming in with us in the evening when we came back from work. Eventually we re-homed the male, and then all was fine. What I need to know is, do you think this is inevitable behaviour? We don't want to go through it all again.

I note in today's "Telegraph" that Lt William Calley has finally apologised - after 40 years - for his part in the massacre at My Lai during the Vietnam war. For this atrocity - comparable to Lidice or Oradour - he was sentenced to life imprisonment, and then released after three years. No action was ever taken against any of the others involved. Double standards, and empty indignation from the Americans.

As a previous poster has already mentioned, the Libyans are to be denied the sight of HRH the Prince Andrew - aka Airmiles Andy - at the 40th anniversary celebrations of their revolution. How will they cope with this? There is already wailing and gnashing of teeth in Tripoli and Benghazi, and in Leptis Magna women are throwing themselves under the hooves of racing camels, crying "Allah" and "Andy" in their dying breaths. "We were ravished at the prospect of Prince Andrew's visit," sobbed Sheikh Bismillah Al-Raham al-Rahim, president of the All-Libyan Golf & Croquet Club, "and now the cup of happiness is dashed from our lips. May the fleas from a thousand camels infest the armpits of the Scottish Justice Secretary. I can say no more - my tears are making the microphone soggy." Readers of this forum will by now realise how serious the position is. If any of you have counselling skills, then please put them at the service of the Libyan people immediately. Alternatively, write a thousand word essay on why the non-visit of a minor royal British princeling to anywhere, let alone Libya, should occasion such angst among the UK press. But don't send it to me.

The US government released Lt William Calley, the officer who presided over the massacre of over 350 Vietnamese villagers at My Lai, after only 3 years of a life sentence. But then, Vietnamese villagers have little influence in Washington....

Hornets will whizz terrifyingly close to you to "inspect" you, but otherwise they won't bother you.

The Germans call the Assumption "Maria Himmelfahrt" - "Mary goes to heaven." We have a wonderful pious poster illustrating it. It shows the BVM ascending, with sort of rocket trails coming out of her dress. Maybe that's where Werner von Braun got his inspiraton for the V2.

In the countries where these carpets are made, they are washed with cold, clean water - nothing else.

We are thinking of going to India next Jan/Feb. Is it possible for UK passport holders to get visas here in France? Anyone done this?

Michael Jackson "dies" and shortly after a strange man claiming to be a Belgian neurosurgeon turns up in Europe. Further comment seems superfluous.

Can you post a picture of them? Where are you?

Frenchie, I've never read so much nonsense in one post. 1. Islam requires both sexes to dress modestly. Men as well. Different Islamic societies interpret this in different ways. In this hot weather Frenchie, would you go out shopping bare-breasted? I guess not, because very strong cultural taboos deter you from doing so. 2. Women can't eat during their periods? Eh? 3. The categorisation of women as "impure" during their periods (and for forty days after childbirth) was meant to protect them from the attentions of men during these times. 4. Muslims are not "exempt" from obeying the law in Western countries. There is no law prohibiting the wearing of the burka, and Sarkozy is an idiot in attempting to introduce one. Educating attitudes is a much better way to approach this, though it will not have the same appeal to the strong vein of racism that runs through French society.

Servicing boilers is commonly done in France by "chauffagistes", a kind of beefed-up chimney sweep. Look them up in Pages Jaunes.

Hilary Benn's father Wedgy is a famous tea addict. I wonder if he takes a jar along to fill up with leaf tea (and not energy-consuming teabags)?

I wonder how much extra the Queen of Spain had to pay to transport her crown, orb, sceptre, etc? Knowing Ryanair, a lot I should think. I hope she didn't take her Throne as well.

Islamic law says that a charge of adultery must be supported by four witnesses. Unless the lady was carrying out her (alleged) carryings-on in the middle of Jumeirah beach, I don't see that she's got anything to worry about.

The English, who have an Established State Church, abandoned Whitsun and secularized it as the Spring Bank Holiday. The French, who are determinedly secular, keep the Monday after Pentecost as a holiday, as they do Ascension Thursday, and the Assumption, and Toussaint. Who can explain it? Who can tell you why?

If more of it is being planted it means that it is attracting a bigger EC subsidy than any other crop.

Your generaliste or laboratoire will give you a pot ("recipient"). You can provide the sample on the spot or at home. If doing the biz at home, you need to rush it to the laboratoire asap. They like it oven-fresh, as it were. Wait until you have to supply No. 2s and they give you the poo-sticks.

Whenever a British company is revealed to be sourcing its products through the use of sweated and usually illegal labour, it always reacts by saying how shocked it is, it never knew this was going on, it will take immediate steps to put it right, etc etc. When the publicity has died away, it carries on as usual. It will be the same in this case.

Hi Chris, The ;eaves are drooping as if from lack of water although they get plenty. There are cherries on the branches but it is not their weight that is causing the leaves to look so sad. The tips of the branches show signs of curl on the new growth. I don't know the age of the tree. Maybe it is just worn out but I would like to try to save it if at all possible. We inherited it with the garden when we recently moved in to this house so it wesn't sprayed, pruned or anything last year. Any advice will be most welcome. Thanks

Our cherry tree is getting plenty of water and is bearing fruit, but it is drooping terribly. Is this normal? (This is our first year in the house - it is a mature tree.)