Loiseau

Hello Gail, and welcome to the forum. As Norman says, the "drive" offer means YOU have to do the driving; they prepare your list and have it waiting for you to collect. I checked out the Gemozac store online, and they only seem to offer this pick-it-up- yourself service.

Sounds like a local infestation of gypsies to me. A French friend warned me never to use any chimney sweep who just had a mobile number marked on his van; he said they were known to be gypsies. In fact, he said, legitimate chimney sweeps (with real landline numbers) were often plumbers as well - which indeed proved to be the case when I did need one. I am not sure what you could do to prevent a recurrence. Maybe those signs you see for sale in DIY shops, such as "Défense de Pénétrer", "Propriété Privée", or even "Chien méchant" might help.

The only flourishing commerces in towns I know seem to be hairdressers, chemists, poodle parlours, tattooists - oh and insurance companies.

Easier said than done, I know, but you need to keep your weight over the forward leg as you move. Like skiing, if you keep your weight back you tend to end up on your b*m.

Fascinating stories... My father was a keen radio "ham" from his school days, so joined the Royal Signals. In his early 20s, he travelled round Britain identifying the best sites for radar-controlled guns and searchlights. Later, attached to the Secret Intelligence Service, he was sent to Cornwall to fit concealed radios into former French fishing boats that had come over to England at the fall of France. I remember him saying that he had to run the aerials up inside the masts to hide them. These vessels were used to cross to southern Brittany, mingle with the real fleet off Concarneau or somewhere, and pick up agents or information to bring back to England. Before each mission, one of these naval-grey-painted fishing-boats would chug off to the Scilly Isles, where - at a discreet mooring - they were repainted in French fishing-boat colours, with the correct style of registration number etc, then have iron-filings thrown at them to distress them (as no true fishing-boat in occupied France would look so pristine). On return to the Scilly Isles from the mission, the agent would be picked up and whisked rapidly off to London, while the boat was repainted in naval grey before returning to its base in the Helford River. My father was later sent to India, to build a radio station in Calcutta, and subsequently designed radio systems on boats that were collecting agents and information from Burma. Before he died, he did write up his experiences, which I added to the BBC's "People's War" project. (Links below, if anyone should want to read more detail.) Cornwall http://www.bbc.co.uk/history/ww2peopleswar/stories/31/a4211731.shtml Far East http://www.bbc.co.uk/history/ww2peopleswar/stories/59/a4211759.shtml Meanwhile, my mother drove ambulances during the Birmingham blitz. From her parents' home in Warwickshire, she told me they could see the glow from the bombing of Coventry in 1940.

I seem to remember being taught to push off with the inside edge of one skate, and advance on the other a bit diagonally, so you sort of advance in a series of herring-bone movements if you see what I mean. I think it's a bit like you would do when skiing down a very gentle slope where you need to push off with one ski after another in order to get a bit of momentum.

A French friend of mine says of her husband that he has a "coeur d'artichaut", which I took to mean he is tender-hearted or an old softie. Not sure if that is an official French description, though, or if it is just said within their family. Where is Eric?!

Hmm, ok, that's not bad...

You want to move up to the Hauts de France, nomoss! February is buzzing with crazy carnivals up in French (and Belgian) Flanders, particularly the Dunkerque "bande", at the end of which kippers are tossed from the belfry to the waiting crowds below. Sadly, you just missed this year's, but here is a flavour: http://www.ot-dunkerque.fr/fr/content/entrez-dans-la-bande?v=carnaval ). However, there is still time to catch the one at nearby Malo-les-Bains. Also in the Nord, Easter Monday sees a huge one in Cassel, with the town's UNESCO-listed giants being paraded around the hilltop town. And there will be a massive meeting of giants in Steenvoorde this April (29th & 30th) https://www.geant-belle-helene.org/steenvoorde-ronde-geants.html Rio, poufff.

Bon dieu! Our ancestors had a bit more patience that I would have...

Now come on, girls... Nectarines are QUITE different. I saw a TV prog the other day from which I learnt that all those mini-orange things are "mandarins", then they are subdivided into tangerines, clementines, etc. Clementines have no pips, and are slightly sweeter. Been a lovely day here in the P de C; 15 degrees and gloriously sunny as we set off to visit the excellent new museum at the Thiepval monument, near Chancer's!

Oh, OK, Chancer. I (maybe) won't get one after all... Happy? Now go and change some beds or do some ménage or something. You clearly have too much time on your hands. ;-)

QUOTE Chancer They are not even required, at least yet: "C’est une démarche volontaire, qui peut donner des avantages aux conducteurs, mais chacun est libre de prendre un certificat ou non. " END QUOTE Of course nobody HAS to buy one, Chancer - UNLESS they are going to go into the designated areas at the designated hours (see the FAQ linked to on p1 of this thread: "suis-je concerné?")

Look guys, I am not ANXIOUS! Nor is this ultra-urgent. I just would like the ability to, say, pick somebody up from a city railway station on the spur of the moment, if necessary, without having to panic about date and time. At a cost of 3 or 4 euros for life of car, rather than £11.50 each time you venture into the London congestion-charge zone, it seems a bargain. Thanks for the link, ANO. That has sorted two of my questions. The serial number one: I presume it's EVERYthing in that circle, including "V5C" and the bottom bit (in my case) "3/11" ?

In France, I've been to two or three simply in crematoria, and there was just input from family and friends. It really was up to them what happened, and if there was music, for example. OTOH, I have also been to some that began with traditional church funeral services and ended with a burial along the road.

HELP! I am trying to fill in their wretched form (see details below). Although I speak fluent French, I thought it would be easier to deal with the English version of the site because I presumed its categories would correspond to those on my UK registration certificate. Hah! - What do I put as the "serial number"? Is that the chassis number, at item E on the UK reg cert? Or one of the Type numbers at item D2, higher up? - "Brand", I divine from reading the French to mean Make; and "Trade name" to mean Model. - Euro standard ??? Would that be item K, "Type approval number"? It starts with the letter e ! - CO2; I guess that is simply the g/km figure at item V7? Angela

And I guess it's important to make sure that those who might have to deal with your funeral actually know you have a plan in place. Some friends had to deal with the UK death of a distant relative, and had a feeling she had once mentioned a funeral plan. However, they were unable to find out anything about it so they paid for the funeral.

Would it not be best for the OP and their OH to make a "donation entre époux" for now (which basically leaves everything in France to the survivor during their lifetime), and then it is up to the survivor to make a Will. It was a very simple process, at the notaire's office, when we did it - and certainly smoothed the path later. It does not cut any children out, though. Just defers the moment they inherit till the surviving spouse dies. In fact, I remember the notaire saying that I - as the survivor - ought to buy the children out of their eventual shares right away if I could. Because although they could not turf me out of the house, or grab the furniture, one of them might either pressure me to sell the house or, conversely, refuse to agree to my selling it if I had wanted to. But you need to discuss your particular situation with a notaire; take someone along with you to do the translating if necessary, because you do need to understand all the implications.

I think it's admirable, mint, especially that you can out-chat the banana!

I still have all the stuff down the sides; no difference in that respect. Only the bold titles have changed size and font. That's on my desktop Mac; not tried the ipad yet...

Ha ha (or, as this is a French forum, I should perhaps say "Ah ah")! I notice that three of the above four posters (as opposed to four-posters) welcoming the forum's return are practically neck-and-neck in their number of postings. Is idun up there in the 10-thousands too? Will have to browse around and check... EDIT Just checked you, idun, and found you sadly trailing the other three. In fact, it's mint who is way out there in front of you chaps!

Tapioca? B-E-U-R-KKKKK !!

Surely the OP needs to get a builder to study the terrain, the slope of the land etc, and to quote for a fosse septique? SPANC only come and inspect the functioning of an existing fosse. I can't believe that the WC waste just pours onto the land. Maybe there is a "fosse étanche" (cess pit)? That is a sort of holding tank that has to be pumped out several times a year; we used to have one in our earliest house, and the "grey water" from kitchen and shower just dribbled out into the ditch. But that was in the 1960s... Angela

Gosh, Judith, that sounds awful. Just what you don't need before going into hospital. I do hope the insurers come up trumps (sorry) for you.

I can't see anything yet on the forum about the new Crit'Air scheme, which came into force in Paris, Lyon and Grenoble on 1 Jan. It is apparently due to be extended to other cities in time, including Arras, Dunkerque, Le Havre, Lille and Toulouse. Cit'Air requires all vehicles (including foreign-registered ones) to carry a windscreen sticker denoting which of six emissions categories they fall into. Stickers (which last the lifetime of the vehicle) will cost €3.70; or €4.18 inc postage. More information on www.certificat-air.gouv.fr/ (An English version of the website is due to be launched on 1 February.)