Help

[trumpet]

Right that is it. I need to be able to get on with so many things and yet, I am drawn to this Forum. It is so addictive. Are there any clinics I can attend to help with this addiction. I try:-

I take boy boy out (Ray the boxer) only he too can sense my eagerness to ''get back on''

I half hearted do a bit of gardening.....no good, gotta get back on there.

Listen to the radio......defiantly no good....as eyes free to wander wander......back to the laptop.

Use the excuse 'It's Raining'' It doesn't need to be raining ....Only look as though it is.

TV, say no more.

Fall out with other forum posters....and then quickly repent. WHAT IS GOING ON? Help before I start playing too many bum notes.

Oh no it could be to late I am about to (fingers trembling) press the REFRESH symbol again.

Too Late AGhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

[MrCanary]

Have you tried this.........

                                          ??

[trumpet]

Yes but like your smiley....it keeps coming back!

[Framboise]

Trumpet, you are addicted!     Methinks you would be a nervous wreck should you lose your internet connection, but as to contemplating chucking the computer out of the window, well I doubt you would have the guts to do it.   After all, you would lose your accessibility to upset some of the finer egos out there in the ether and then you wouldn't be able to apologise for ruffling their fine plumage!

I have limited access anyway due to that wretched Xbox360 that shares the internet connection.   Maybe you should get a Xbox online and you too could fight your way around Normandy as my other half does - for hours on end..........    zzzzz   zzzzz   zzzzz [:D]

[trumpet]

Fram

Don't you go putting ideas into my head, I already have enough problems.  Actually got some strimming done today.

Its the getting started that's the hard one.

I did venture over onto another site where others have fled to. I signed up (had to) But will not participate there, as here is plenty enough.

How people manage the duel citizenship is beyond me. It takes me all my time to read through what's going on here.

The Meluah (sp) debate is ongoing I see. I like the reading of it all.

We need more handbags. 

 

[trumpet]

It should say strimming not striping. I edit it but it keeps coming back.

[AnOther]

No doubt about it trumpet, you're a JUNKIE.

You might call me the same but the difference is, believe it or not, I'm at work so for me it helps pass the time, I learn a bit about France, possibly help somebody once in a while, but most of all gets it out of my system so when I do go home I can get on with the other stuff, well at least during the daytime anyway...[Www]

You know you are addicted to the Internet when...

1. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your email on the way back to bed.

2. You don't know what sex three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.

3. You comment, while watching a sunset, that the image would be enhanced with 10% more magenta and a higher resolution.

4. When someone tells you about a great new program and you're very disappointed to find that it's on TV.

5. If while driving down the street, you are confused by the numbers on the houses - they do not appear to be legitimate WWW addresses.

6. When you find it easier to dial-up the National Weather Service Weather/your_town/now.html than to simply look out the window.

7. When you start using phrases like: [email protected].

8. If you call in sick because you found a great new WWW site.

9. If you can type your top 10 favorite Web sites, by heart.

10. If your fingers quit moving because you've been online for 36 hours.

11. If your net provider suggests you try a competitor, because you're exceeding 300 hours a month connect time.

12. If on the way home from work, you use your portable and cellular phone in your car, to reprogram a Tomahawk missile, in flight, and redirect it to take out the joker in the Cadillac who cut you off.

13. When your desk collapses under the weight of your computer peripherals.

14. If you try to press Alt-F4 to close your car window.

15. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

16. Your hard drive crashes. You haven't logged in for two hours. You start to twitch. You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access number. You try to hum to communicate with the modem. And you succeed.

17. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

18. You start introducing yourself as "JohnDoe at AOL dot com."

19. All of your friends have an @ in their names.

20. Your cat has its own home page.

21. You can't call your mother... she doesn't have a modem.

22. Your bookmarks take 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.

23. You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines.

24. You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a cellular modem and a laptop.

25. Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.

26. Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.

27. Your husband tells you he's had the beard for 2 months.

28. Your virtual girlfriend finds a new net sweetheart with a larger bandwidth.

29. As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "undo" button.

30. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

31. A friend stops to see you since your phone has been busy --- for a year!!!!!

32. You forgot how to work the TV remote control.

33. You see something funny and scream, "LOL, LOL."

34. You tell everyone, that after surgery, your mom went to ICQ ......instead of ICU!

35. You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes.

36. You placed the refrigerator beside your computer...or put it in the bathroom.

37. You buy a laptop and a cell phone so you can have ICQ in your car.

38. Tech support calls YOU for help.

39. You beg your friends to get an account so you can "hang out."

40. You get a second phone line just to call out for pizza.

41. You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it.

42. You say "he he he he" or "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.

43. You say "SCROLL UP" when someone asks what it was you said.

44. You find out divorce papers had been served on you 6 months ago.

45. You talk on the phone with the same person you are sending an instant message to.

46. You look at an annoying person off line and wish that you had your ignore button handy.

47. You start to experience "withdrawal" after not being online for awhile.

48. You say......."Where did the time go??"

49. You sit on ICQ for 6 hours for that certain special person to sign on.

50. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

51. You end your sentences with.....three or more periods.......

52. You need to be pried from your computer by the jaws-of-life.

53. Your answering machine/voice mail sounds a little like this.... "BRB. Leave your S/N and I'll TTYL...ASAP".

54. You enter a room and get greeted by 25 people with {{{hugs}}} and ****kisses*****.

55. Being called a newbie is a major insult to you.

56. You're on the phone and say "BRB".

57. Your teacher or boss recommends a drug test for the blood-shot eyes.

58. You get up at 2:00 AM to go to the bathroom and turn the computer on instead.

59. The only jokes you receive are through email.

60. Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma.

61. You can type 70 words per minute but can't read your own handwriting.

62. You have more friends on the internet than in real life.

63. Your laptop computer costs more than your car.

64. Your four basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4. Chocolate

65. You try to enter your password on the microwave.

66. You email your son in his room to tell him that dinner is ready, and he emails you back "What's for dinner?"

67. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year.

68. You didn't give your valentine a card this year, but you posted one for your email buddies via a Web page.

69. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have email addresses.

[trumpet]

LOL LOL[:D][:D]

Its true.

Mnnn Mitchin off at work eh. Good on you.

 

[Christine Animal]

I must be addicted just to have read all this.  And as Nanny always used to say, where's my handbag ?

[Pierre ZFP]

OMIGAWD

Nearly ALL of these apply to me!  The only ones that don't are the ICQ.  (I use MSN instead)

I'm taking my family camping in Sardinia this summer, the FIRST question my son asked was 'Does it have electricity?'   I wonder where he gets it from??

[trumpet]

My son is camping with his family at the moment. (somewhere in France) He MSNd me using his mobile, connected to his laptop......from the beach!

Now I have tried that back in the days when we only had a dial up (2 mths ago) and when I got the mobile bill (which normally is just the rental charge) It was over 60 euros. All for 15 mins internet. (My sons idea not mine)

So after this experience I asked my son, how much was that costing him. He said 6 euro's a month, some deal with orange.