the french marriage ceremony

[hokeycokey66]

hello, I was wondering if anyone could help me as I'm not having much luck finding the information I need on the internet.

I'm an AS level French student in the uk, and for my homework I need to answer some questions on typical french marriage arrangements, but there are a few points I'm unsure about, and I was hoping someone on this forum might be able to help me.

1. Who would traditionally pay for the wedding - the bride's parents    or     would the couple's parents share the costs?

2. Do couple usually choose to have several maids and men of honour, and also a little page boy who carries the ring    or     would they typically choose to have one maid of honour and one man of honour, who might walk in front of the bride on entering, and in front of the newly weds on leaving the ceremony?

I could make educated guesses on what I think is the normal service, but after hearing about Normandy's onion soup ritual, I thought it would be better to research the topic.

thanks.

sally.

[Alexis]

Don't forget that it is only the Mairie that is legal for a marriage.  The bit in the Church is just a blessing type ceremony.  This means that there can be a delay of several days, indeed weeks, between the two ceremonies.  I think the limit is a year between the two.

As for who pays, well, the same as in the UK I suspect...the one's with the money!

We got married at the Mairie and it took about five minutes.  Free too.  Didn't bother about the Church.  Did have the return de mariage on the Sunday though.  Bit hazy there!!

My husbands second marriage went on for a week.  He seems to be making less fuss now.

[Mistral]

 

These are just my experences of the thing. Nothing official

1. Who would traditionally pay for the wedding - the bride's parents    or     would the couple's parents share the costs?

Traditionally it's the brides family (or at least that's the feeling i get) nowadays it's much more likely to share the costs (the 2 families and the couple)

2. Do couple usually choose to have several maids and men of honour, and also a little page boy who carries the ring    or     would they typically choose to have one maid of honour and one man of honour, who might walk in front of the bride on entering, and in front of the newly weds on leaving the ceremony?

No, bride's maids etc aren't traditional (at least in my husband's family and the other weddings I've seen in France) they are getting more popular with the influence of American films

I could make educated guesses on what I think is the normal service, but after hearing about Normandy's onion soup ritual, I thought it would be better to research the topic.

It's not just in Normandy that they do the onion soup thing, my husband's family is Breton and they do it too. I live in provence and the tradition here is to give the bride's flowers to the virgin marie during the church ceremony (now, brides plan 2 bouquets, so they still have one for the photos)

As Alexis said, the legally binding ceremony is the mairie one, they read you the relevant laws at top speed and ask you if you accept them, then you spend as much time signing the paperwork. Traditionally, the couple then walk through the town to the church where they show the priest their marriage certificate and he then does the religious bit. I have paraded behind people from one to the other but it's more and more common to leave a gap between the two (because booking the church has to be done way before boking the mairie) As Alexis said, there's quite often a gap between the religous and state ceremonies (mine was 6 months) They entrance into the church isn't the same as in the UK. Instead of everybody being in church and the bride arriving on her father's arm. Everybody arrives together and mills around then the "plebs" go in and the families process in. I can't remember the exact order but I know that the groom comes in with his mother (because my mother in law mad a fuss about it) The service seems to be "make it up as you go along" that you quite often get in French churches. I've been to 2 hour weddings and 20 minute ones.

[Val_2]

Its not unusual either for guests to be asked to pay for their meals at a wedding. My friends were asked to the wedding of their neighbour's daughter and during the restaurant-sited reception do afterwards, they were asked for 300FF each to cover expenses.

[Evianers]

[quote]Don't forget that it is only the Mairie that is legal for a marriage. The bit in the Church is just a blessing type ceremony. This means that there can be a delay of several days, indeed weeks, betw...[/quote]

The bit in the Church is just a blessing type ceremony

 

Not for we Catholics it isn't

[hokeycokey66]

okies, thank you all for your help with it.

Yes, we've done about the 2 ceremonies at school, and my mum has told me about it too, as my auntie married a Frenchman, but she coyuldn't remember all the details, and as my auntie is english, it wasn't going to by a typically French account anyway. My mum did remember there being an ice cream wedding cake though, but I don't quite think that that is the norm, although it sounds good :p

thank you again.

sally.

[Alexis]

[quote]The bit in the Church is just a blessing type ceremony Not for we Catholics it isn't[/quote]

I'm afraid I don't understand you.  It is the Mairie that marries you.   The Church has nothing to do with marriage at all, Catholic or not.  Which we are.

[Clarkkent]

 

Quote: The bit in the Church is just a blessing type ceremony Not for we Catholics it isn't

I'm afraid I don't understand you.  It is the Mairie that marries you.   The Church has nothing to do with marriage at all, Catholic or not.  Which we are.

No. The maire does not marry you. You marry each other.

I suspect that what Evaniers means is that it is making promises to each other before God that is important not the formalising of a contract in front of a government agent.

 

[Eleanor REleanor R<br>www.chicfinance.com<br>06 15 16 10 04]

I got married to a French man on 30th April/1st May of this year.

Both of our families contributed equally, there was no question as to who would pay and for what.

As previously mentioned, you have to get married at the mairie and then it is personal choice as to whether you wish to have a religious ceremony or not.

We had several 'weddings' in the end : Friday at the Mairie followed by a 'vin d'honneur'. Sat at church followed by an 'appertif' and then the long traditional French evening meal/entertainment. Durng the night, we avoided the visit from the family to make us eat from a chamber pot filled with various food such as chocolate mousse, champagne etc. Sunday was a BBQ eating all of the left overs and openning wedding presents.

2 months later, we had a blessing in England followed by a garden party!!!!!

It was great mixing the 2 cultures, if not a little stressful at the time.

The French familly insisted on bridesmaids being little girls and having a boy to carry the rings.

Hope that this helps for your homework!

[Neens]

[quote]Don't forget that it is only the Mairie that is legal for a marriage. The bit in the Church is just a blessing type ceremony. This means that there can be a delay of several days, indeed weeks, betw...[/quote]

Can someone please help me out here?!

My fiance is french, I am american, we are going to be married soon.  I wanted to know if that would automatically make me a french citizen.  We are living here in the U.S. and plan on traveling to france in the near future and have considered being married in both countries.  If we go to the marie in france - will it really take just a few minutes?? and is it really free??  and how soon would I have my citizenship if we marry in france?  It is important to me because I want to have our children there.  At the moment we are planning on living in the U.S.  but will eventually move to france to start a family. 

I have had no luck getting in touch with any one from the french consulate here......can anyone help me???!!!!!

[Mistral]

Hi, if you marry a French citizen, you have the right to claim french nationality after a year's marriage (or straight away if you have children aknowlegded by both parents) the whole process takes about a year to sort through. So count at least 2 years from marriage (more like 3 to be on the safe side) You'll find more info here: http://www.justice.gouv.fr/publicat/gnationad.htm Your children will have the right to french nationality no matter where they are born if one of their parents is French.

The official wedding ceremony in the mairie really is very short. Sometimes the maire does a speech and couples who are not going on to the church after sometimes add readings and things which make it longer. But this depends on the mairie and the time of year (I went to a wedding in Aix en provence in summer and in was really like being on a conveyor belt - even with that they were running late) But the standard wedding is just the maire or ajoint reading the relative laws and then asking the couple if they accept them, then everybody signing.

As for being free, yes the actual process is; but there are a few official papers you need to produce that you might have to pay for.  For example a birth certificate. For a French person, this is provided free by the place they were born, Brits have to pay for theirs and then it has to be translated by an official translator who has to be paid too.