Dwarf Neglect In France

[Furry Knickers]

I was talking to Mrs Gupta on the phone today, and she commented on the large number of dwarfs that were now living in the Dordogne. She brought it to me attention that there is no facilities for dwarfs in France. Even in the UK, all they have are dwarf conifers, rabbits and walls, and a limited supply of pigamy light bulbs.

Mrs Gupta has decided to design a range of clothing specificaly for them, and sell them at her stall alongside her cats, she has sold many of her cats to dwarfs since moving to Monpazier. She wants me to design pyjamas for her, as I love pyjamas, espescially the ones with little thatched cottages and border collies printed on them. I never actually realised how forgotten the dwarf is in this world, and Mrs Gupta even was mistaken for a dwarf in Birmingham in 1976 after having her hair cut real short. She suffered alot of abuse and was hurled nearly 9 feet across the road! it was during the barbaric dwarf throwing period in the 70's and it was deemed to be great sport to fling the nearest dwarf as far as possible. I am glad that is now a closed chapter in human behaviour.

It is sad though that they still impose height resctrictions at Alton Towers and even in Eftelling Fairy World where they have a load of robotic goblins! I think it is just an excuse to keep the dwarfs out.

So why are the dwarfs forgotten in society today?

 

[Will]

I know what you mean, FK, I think the discrimination against dwarfs is scandalous. For those of us familiar with tle land of the little people it can come as quite a shock. You do find pygmy goats in France, not quite the same, but still OK for the dimensionally challenged.

Fortunately there is one theme park in France, near us, where dwarfs are welcome. http://www.village-enchante.fr

 

[Cassis]

[quote user="FurryKnickers"]

Mrs Gupta even was mistaken for a dwarf in Birmingham in 1976 after having her cut real short. She suffered alot of abuse and was hurled nearly 9 feet across the road! it was during the barbaric dwarf throwing period in the 70's and it was deemed to be great sport to fling the nearest dwarf as far as possible. I am glad that is now a closed chapter in human behaviour.

[/quote]

Sorry FK but I believe that this barbaric practice carries on to this day in some of the less civilised parts of the world such as the land of Oz, where there is even a campaign to have it listed as an Olympic sport.  That Wizard has a lot to answer for.  And the Wicked Witch.  That's probably why they call her Wicked, not because she's really good but because she throws dwarves at people passing her house.  I bet she throws the contents of her chamber pot into the street when dwarves are passing by, as well.  Now that's not nice, is it?  Especially if she also had a dwarf in the chamber pot at the time.  That's insult to injury, that is.

[Ty Korrigan]

Happy Fathers day...

 I had a taste of what it must be like to be a dwarf when I took on a Danish girlfriend called Lotta Hjetting.

She was 1m 86cm in height and when I visited her in Copenhagen all her friends where likewise tall and blonde.

This thread has put me in mind of poor Gimli in The Lord of the Rings who told Aragorn to toss him but not to tell the Elf...

I felt that the dwarvish race was seriously under represented in Tolkiens 3 classic tomes and that Gimli was simply a token 'Person of restricted growth'.

 Tolkiens was clearly obsessed with tall Anglosaxon figures and I am glad that he never met my Lotta or I would have had to fight him for her no doubt in a middle earth fashion on horseback in New Zealand which is currently out of my budget.

At 1m 66cm I am still sadly height restricted in my parents own house where they have hidden the chocolate biscuits out of my reach on a high shelf and have also hidden all available chairs and ladders.

This is a hangup from my riotous schooldays as a pupil at that correctional institution known as Portsmouth Grammar when I would eat everything set before me (except vegetables, meats and fruit) in order to grow up big and strong and so avoid being mistaken for a dwarf by the 6th formers who would ill use small boys or being taken up for a powder monkey by a roving press gang when the fleet was in.

 I have been repointing a wall in the sun today and my brain is boiled...

[Cassis]

[quote user="Ty Korrigan"]

 I have been repointing a wall in the sun today and my brain is boiled...

[/quote]

A brother in suffering!

Lotta sounds like a Lotta girl.  Sorry.  Can't help it.

Did Gimli really tell Aragorn to toss him?  I don't remember the pornographic section of the book, but I was only 13 when I read it.

You  might prefer it in my neighbour's house where the doorways are about 1.70 metres high and make you feel like a giant.

Are you still on the same diet from Grammar school days?  My own diet in those days of schooling with the Irish Christian Brothers in Sunderland was mainly leather strap and lip.

[Dick Smith]

Which school in Sunderland? I did a teaching practice in St Mary's in the docks, which was no kind of grammar school. Run by killer nuns.

[Cassis]

[quote user="Dick Smith"]Which school in Sunderland? I did a teaching practice in St Mary's in the docks, which was no kind of grammar school. Run by killer nuns.

[/quote]

Jude remembers St Mary's nuns.  She went to school there, infants and juniors, but it was not in the docks she says.  Though some of the nuns should have been.  Sister Margaret Mary, Miss Wilson, Sister Peter, Sister Jerome she remembers.  I remember the nuns of St Anthony's.  That was a grammar school run by similar killer nuns.  I went to St Aidan's near Backhouse Park.

[Furry Knickers]

I think the best way to appreciate the discrimination against a dwarf, is to become a dwarf! I am going to Asda tomorrow disguised as a dwarf, I shall even go for me job interview for the Upper Beagle Road Train Ticket Collector in me dwarf disguise.

 

 

[Dick Smith]

My wife taught at the juniors, and still remembers Sister Margaret Mary with affection. I'm probably totally wrong about the location - I was there in 1970, Julie in 1969, more and more senior moments... Did Jude ever go to the 'gym' which was a deserted cinema?

We used to live in Belle Vue Park, many happy summer afternoons spent in Backhouse Park.

Small world!

[ali-cat]

As a 6 footer I may have a suggestion to help Dwarfs in France, feel more welcome. 

I always get comments like - "Hey, big girl, do you play basketball?" to which I usually reply - "Why, do you play miniature golf?"

The building of miniature golf courses may help with the lack of facilities available to those more vertically challanged, living among us!! [:-))]

[Ty Korrigan]

One pint of 1649/Picon later...

Brain temperature normal....

I am not sure if it was JRRT what wrote it or if it was something inserted into the film script by the fat beardy bloke in Deirdre Barlow glasses who directed the epic...

Helms deep and all seems lost so Aragorn and Gimli 'exit stage left' through a secret door by the main gate/draw bridge.

It is there those immortal/imoral words is uttered... You'll have to toss me...the distance is too great.... you'll have to toss me! but don't tell the Elf..(Legolas)

 Anyway.. in Laniscat dept.22 there is an ossary full of bones that judging by the size of the skulls once belonged to either children or the little people...a bird is nesting in one....

[Cassis]

[quote user="Dick Smith"]Did Jude ever go to the 'gym' which was a deserted cinema?

We used to live in Belle Vue Park, many happy summer afternoons spent in Backhouse Park.

[/quote]

Jude was there from about 1963 until 1971.  Sister Peter is still alive, though bent double, apparently.  She's just dragged Miss Scanlon out of the memory cell.  Also says do you remember Barbara Wilson?  Old lady teacher must have been 70 then - no compulsory retirement.  I went sledging on bin bags in Backhouse Park in winter during lunch hours.  Jude says she was posh - had a proper sledge.  She's not so posh now.  I didn't meet her till 1978 though so I couldn't nick her sledge.

Jude's name then was Hourigan.  All 6 of them went to St Mary's - Jude is the eldest.

[Cassis]

[quote user="Ty Korrigan"]One pint of 1649/Picon

[/quote]

Excellent!  Another picon-biere fan!

[Dick Smith]

I remember the Norwegian student (they had something of a reputation as drinkers) sledging through the park railings and down the 10-foot drop into the road, then being narrowly missed by a bus...

I'll ask Julie about Jude Hourigan. I was in the seniors, and to be honest it has mostly gone from my pickled brain by now!

I do remember being cross at kids calling me "ya'bugger man" and the nuns telling me that it was OK, it meant they liked me!

[Cassis]

[quote user="Dick Smith"]

I'll ask Julie about Jude Hourigan. I was in the seniors, and to be honest it has mostly gone from my pickled brain by now!

I do remember being cross at kids calling me "ya'bugger man" and the nuns telling me that it was OK, it meant they liked me!

[/quote]

Wey aye, ya bug-ger!  Not a term of offence or anything of the kind.  Jude was Judith then. 

[Cassis]

Some of the nuns at St Anthony's were very small dwarves and others were giants.  We had a dwarf teacher at St Aidan's called Mr Magoo.  I don't recall his real name.  He was a perfect replica of a full-sized teacher of the period with leather elbow patches and everything.  I wish I still had him, I could put him at the bottom of the garden.

[Furry Knickers]

It is very lucky in Ireland to rub a dwarf when you see one.

 I saw one in a pub in Grafton Street with at least a dozen people rubbing various bits of him!

Does any of you know Sister Magnolia from St Matilda of The Holy Flames in Roscrae? She had a little goat called Roger, that she used to teach the childer geogrophy. The goat had black patches that she used to represent different countries of the world.

I was devastated when Roger passed away! he had a state funeral in the convent garden, and I wrote a song that the choir sang on that sad owl day.

Goodbye me friend i'm going to cry

A tear is falling from me eye

Now you have gone away

Who will lick me everyday

We had wine we had pie, we had pigeons in the sky

but the wine made me drunk and I loved you though you stunk.....

I am just to emotional to carry on now, but I put me heart into his farewell song.

 

[Dick Smith]

I had a dwarf teacher and a blind teacher. I also had several who were probably cretins in medical terms. We never called any of them Magoo...

I trained with a dwarf, who wanted to be an infants teacher, but he scared the life out of them and packed it in.

Julie remembers Sister Peter, whom she thought of as ages old in 1969...

Doesn't remember any kids, but probably had Jude in her class as we think there was only one class per year. First teaching practices are a bit of a blur! Does the budgie (Snowy?) ring any bells?

I remember seeing a killer nun caning a kid in the corridor before school (for running) and it was one of the most vengeful sights I have ever seen. Talk about the Paraclete of the Lord.

[Cassis]

[quote user="Dick Smith"]Does the budgie (Snowy?) ring any bells?

I remember seeing a killer nun caning a kid in the corridor before school (for running) and it was one of the most vengeful sights I have ever seen. Talk about the Paraclete of the Lord.

[/quote]

Doesn't remember any budgies in her class.  Is it a flock of Paracletes of the Lord that your mate has in Twickenham?

Our Irish Christian Brothers had the leather strap as weapon of choice.  I was banned from French classes by Brother O'Shea (known as Bunjy) for a term for nicking his strap and hiding it in one of the holes in our prefab classroom wall.  I had to own up otherwise he said he would cancel the Xmas games day.  I owned up and got 12 lashes and the ban.  And he still cancelled the games day.  Happy days.

[Cassis]

[quote user="FurryKnickers"]

It is very lucky in Ireland to rub a dwarf when you see one.

 I saw one in a pub in Grafton Street with at least a dozen people rubbing various bits of him!

Does any of you know Sister Magnolia from St Matilda of The Holy Flames in Roscrae? She had a little goat called Roger, that she used to teach the childer geogrophy. The goat had black patches that she used to represent different countries of the world.

I was devastated when Roger passed away! he had a state funeral in the convent garden, and I wrote a song that the choir sang on that sad owl day.

Goodbye me friend i'm going to cry

A tear is falling from me eye

Now you have gone away

Who will lick me everyday

We had wine we had pie, we had pigeons in the sky

but the wine made me drunk and I loved you though you stunk.....

I am just to emotional to carry on now, but I put me heart into his farewell song.

 

[/quote]

That is a lovely song.  Could you give us the words to your 17th song to the 17th cat one day?  I would very much like to sing it in the shower.

Many dwarves in the NE of England dress in waistcoats made of brass chain mail and it is considered lucky to rub them, too.  Except that you have to cover the dwarf with a sheet of paper and rub him with a pencil tip.  It is from this tradition that the hobby of 'brass rubbing' was derived.

[Dick Smith]

Ah. A man who could temper justice with sheer callous brutality... I also taught at Southmead, which was a very civilised school largely serving the Jewish community, so we got Friday afternoons off occasionally, but not in the summer.

I had a kid who claimed to have been taken over by a devil called Bunny - any relation? Bunny made her bunk off from school and go to shopping malls...

[Chris Head]

Ah the days of public floggings in schools, I remember them well, it tended to focus the mind though.

My wife is dwarf phobic and  I knocked one over once in one of my usual hurries, I love 'em but couldn't eat a whole one!

Chris

[Christine Animal]

If you should find an abandoned dwarf in France, there is a garden in Letterbox Village (already mentioned) where they seem to be appreciated :

                                                                   

http://www.letterboxvillage.com/GRANDES/NAINS.html

[Cassis]

[quote user="Chris Head"]

My wife is dwarf phobic and  I knocked one over once in one of my usual hurries, I love 'em but couldn't eat a whole one!

[/quote]

The biggest nuisance is picking the bones out of them.  If you don't they get caught between the teeth.  But Jude is ace with the filleting knife so I leave it to her.