Assault?- what to do?

[wilshire223]

Hi, I found this site some weeks ago. I live in California and have no links with France, just quick stopovers here and there. A little over a month ago I had an awful experience that I've been trying to avoid even thinking about it but, when I have the energy or calmness to think about what happened, I wonder if there's anything else I could do to achieve some kind of justice:

I was in Paris during a short stay after backpacking for a couple of weeks in Asia. On my first morning at 8 am, while looking for a place to do laundry and struggling to use the soap machine, I went to get money change at a bakery. On my way, I saw a little grocery store and thought I could get soap from there but after looking at what they had (huge boxes) and having been stared at in a way that wasn’t pleasant by the two men at the counter, I changed my mind and focused on the original plan (buying something at the bakery).

While leaving the bakery, I saw a man standing outside and he said a few words to me in an angry way. I thought he wanted money so I tried to go around him and signaled at him that I had no money. He chased me and started ranting really loud. I don’t speak French and I felt scared so I thought I should calmly tell him “English, desolé!” so he would leave me alone. He then started pointing at my laundry bag and said in limited english “Soap! your bag! I saw you on the camera”. I laughed as I quickly realised he was actually the cashier of the grocery store I had quickly stopped by and was accusing me of stealing soap.. of all things!. He seemed aggressive and I thought the calmest way to solve this was to have him show me what he saw so I could explain and clearly show him I did not steal his soap.

The moment I went back into the grocery store, he grabbed my bag, emptied it all my underwear all over the counter for all the customers to see and started mumbling and grabbing every bra and sock one by one and then discarding it on the floor. My blood dropped, I was shocked at what I was looking at and what I was experiencing, I felt violated and I felt powerless because I had no way to communicate and at that time, I couldn’t think of how to get help, what is their 911, what do I do. As he finished squeezing every one of my items frustrated that he did not find anything, he then demanded very loud to open my purse, in shock I showed it to him, I didn’t even think of refusing. He found nothing obviously and then, still mumbling in French and telling the line of customers that were waiting to pay (all men) maybe the situation, he stared at my body, clearly insinuating I had hidden it maybe underneath what I was wearing. At that point, I exploded. I told him to not stop himself and to go for it and touch and find what he was trying to find, I screamed at him “DO IT!”. He must’ve realized what he was doing wasn’t even legal in the first place that he quickly grabbed all my stuff from the floor and the counter, put it inside the bag and handed it back to me. While he was doing that and despite having absolutely zero experiences or even temptation of physical violence in the 30 years of my life, I felt my hand warm and the impulse of slapping it across his face. Instead, I opened my coffee and quietly waited until he was done and I had my bag with me, and then I threw my tiny French espresso on his face.

He jumped over the counter and I stopped, wondering if he was going to do what he seemed to be wanting to do and he did it. He grabbed me by the hair and hit me hard on the back of my head over 5 times. I screamed, I cried. No man witnessing intervened. He grabbed me by shoulder and pushed me out of his business. When I made it to the sidewalk, I couldn’t breath, I was scared and crying and asking for help. A man stopped, not sure of what was happening and although he spoke little English, he understood some of what I said and told me to go across the street to a small police post inside the building. Before doing that, I headed back and took a picture of the man.

When I made it to the police station, the female officer seemed hesitant to speak with me as she said she spoke no English. I was sent inside with someone who said she did but didn’t really understand me. Two male officers came in and asked what happened, when I showed them the picture of the man, they recognized him and said he was "a good man". They then gave me a skeptical look and told me to forget about it since I had started the violence. I asked them to call my embassy and the person that took my call told me to not “drop it” and that I needed to file a report. When I told them I wanted to file a report, one of them got close to me and said “YOU.. IN JAIL.. COFFEE, YOUR FAULT”. I was crying, it felt like a nightmare to be targeted and ultimately assaulted for no reason, with no evidence, and then to be intimidated by policemen and threatened to go to jail.

After a while, the officers brought the man into the station. I asked them to not let whoever stayed at the store delete the footage of the camera, they said there was never a camera. They joked with him for about 40 minutes, often saying the word “Americaine” and rolling their eyes and laughing. They then said the man wanted to press charges against me and asked me to really think if I wanted to file a report because he had the right to do the same. I said yes. They took me to a station two blocks away and put me in a dark room with the man who hit me and 3 officers, all of them making rude comments, often saying “you are IN FRANCE, No English OKAY?!” “you arrived yesterday and already in trouble? WOW!”. I was then asked to describe what happened with a man that seemed to understand English, he typed as I wrote. He printed out my description of events and asked me to sign it. When I read it, I translated some parts on google translate and it said I was “touched on my hair (cheveaux)”. I asked him to correct that, he seemed bothered and quickly wrote my correction on the paper with a pen. I signed it. He then said “follow me”, so I did and he led me to the street. I asked him if that was it, he said yes and that he would determine who was at fault. I asked him if I would get a copy, he motioned "no" with his finger.

I felt very shaken, emotional, and in pain, my head hurt so much.. I didn't even think of medical assistance and certainly no one offered that. I took an Uber and headed to the embassy. I was shown the form I should've filled out and I told them it looked nothing like that, they told me to not waste any time and to head to the more trustworthy station they know, with English-speaking staff, in the 1st arrondissement. When I got there, they were surprised at what had happened and the police response but told me that since this happened on the 10th arrondissement, that I had to go to the main police station there.

After several hours of waiting, at 8 pm I was finally received by a nice and polite female officer, she seemed embarrassed and in disapproval of what had happened. She asked me if I wanted to see a doctor, I said the pain had subsided. She told me she had called the police station where I had “filed a report” in the morning, she seemed upset to learn that not only it wasn’t an actual report just like the embassy man suspected (it was just a description of events) but that after I left, they closed the case. She helped me filed a proper report with an accurate description of what had happened. She apologized, tried to explain the different types of policemen in France (those in black uniform that were rude and how they differ a little from those in white), tried to explain the challenges of cultural integration and misogyny (the man in question was someone born in Morocco). After we made that report, I asked her what was going to happen, she said anything could happen… they could file it and consider it closed the next day, start an investigation, go on trial, but that I would be contacted if needed.

I left Paris two days later. I only have with me a copy of that report ("Proces Verbal"). I haven’t talked much to anyone about what happened because reviving everything stresses and angers me so much. I felt scared the entire next day and I still feel scared now, especially when I walk into stores, which is ridiculous. I have never been hit by anyone, let alone been accused of any crime. I also feel frustrated with the law and that he went back to his business like nothing happened, after accusing someone in the worst possible way and culminating with violence against women. I would bet that man has a history of domestic violence because everything he did was aggressive, irrational and completely out of line. I know he could be easily sued in California but France is a black hole for me, I don’t understand why he was let go and why everything was minimized like “bad luck!”. I was told by the officer that did my report that I could contact a lawyer in France, but at this point the language barrier scares me too. I’m just at a loss of what to do and who to go to, I know that there should be consequences for him... mistreating and humiliating someone and having to go for 1 hour to sit around a police station shouldn’t be the last for him.

Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this!

[woolybanana]

Somehow this does not surprise me, if true.

ALBF, about par for the course?

[alittlebitfrench]

I think we can break forum rules here.

Go to this site:

http://www.expatforum.com/expats/france-expat-forum-expats-living-france/

....and explain again what happened. It is run by an American lady who lives in Paris and there are a lot of other Americans who frequent the site who also live in Paris who will offer better advice.

My two pence worth.

It does not surprise me. There are some places you just don't go into in Paris, even in the more popular areas. It does sound like a cultural communication issue/problem that has escalated into an assault, which should have been taken seriously by the police.

Personally I would forget about it and spend my your time and energy getting over it. If that means seeking professional counselling then it will be cheaper to do so than pursuing the case which won't amount to anything.

[Chancer]

Good advice.

 

What to do? If it were me, and I do appreciate that we all are very different and react differently, if it were me I would be thanking my lucky stars that I a foreign tourist in France assaulted a French national, a member of an ethnic minority group in his own premises/home and got way without being seriuusly injured myself, (in a high crime area like that he could well have had a weapon for self defence) and also got away without being prosecuted which would have involved at least one night behind bars.

 

What to do? I would accept my role in the sad affair and learn from it. Its through unpleasant expériences like that that you become a savvy traveller, my only criticism is that you have a wholly unrealistic expectation that a police force in a foreign country would treat you as a victim when you asaulted someone else, never assume that any country will be like your/our own in these matters.

[Cathar Tours]

Lucky us Europeans are a bit more civilised otherwise I think if it were back in the US somebody would have ended up being shot.

[EuroTrash]

A misunderstanding that escalated.

But for the record, it's perfectly normal procedure in France for cashiers to ask to see inside your bag, if you are carrying any kind of sizeable bag that could be useful for shoplifting. Many supermarkets have signs at all the checkouts asking you to present your bag to the cashier. I suspect it began with a routine request to see inside your bag, you didn't respond in all innocence since it was in French and you didn't understand, he got riled because you didn't comply and he thought you were ignoring his request, and it went on from there. I have no doubt he genuinely suspected you were a shoplifter, his social skills maybe weren't great but then I don't think throwing coffee in his face was a great idea either.

An unpleasant experience best forgotten.

[wilshire223]

alittlebitfrench, thank you so much for your reply/two pence.. I know the last part is probably the more realistic take on the incident, same for what you mention about the popular areas. This is something I have engrained in my head living in big cities and I admittedly let my guard down by going into what was a sketchier looking area and exposing myself like that.

And yes, I think that even if I were to be questioned or processed for assault, ignoring having been chased, searched involuntarily and without proof of suspected theft, the general behavior of the officers was a cultural shock for me (and I have lived and done government/police related paperwork all over, including the aforementioned/cleanest record in western civilization Germany), just doing a single thing out of an ordinary day seemed like an annoyance... I sat there all day seeing them roll their eyes at coworkers because they were made turn on a computer, giving a "hello? don't you see I'm carrying a coffee! I cannot work now!", interrupting someone explaining something work-related because they really needed to go on their lunch break. The 3 officers in the station were eating peanuts as they made their sarcastic remarks. It's quite interesting. I had seen this type of very in your face government incompetence in Uzbekistan and Argentina and heard France was a bit difficult but I had personally never experienced such an open unwillingness to... work. Then again, all my experiences had been at customs while getting in and out.

(edit: thank you for the feedback, eurotrash)

[Chancer]

I have had reason to go to the gendermarie a few times, but in France profonde not Paris, I have had the full spectrum of reactions from "casse-toi" and stop wasting our time, another time rolling their eyes when I wanted to déposer plainte then writing down my name and address on a post_it note pretending that was the procedure which as soon as I left will have joined the others in the bin overflowing with them, I have witnessed them do that one repeatedly with the locals that never protest, to the other end of the Spectrum, the guy who loved paperwork and clearly never wanted to leave the caserne and face real situations, I was reporting that kids had minched my bike pump, the plastic odometer and my tools from the saddle bag, that report took 4 hours, ran to 7 pages and 6 duplicate copies of all of them that had to be signed and initialled, he wanted reciepts and values for everything, it was absolutely crazy and ensured that I would never waste my time doing the same again, he however was delighted.

[nomoss]

I'm still trying to work out where the cup of coffee came from[8-)]

She said "I felt my hand warm and the impulse of slapping it across his face.

Instead, I opened my coffee and quietly waited until he was done and I

had my bag with me, and then I threw my tiny French espresso on his

face."

Does the OP perhaps carry it around as a deterrent?

[idun]

I was wondering about the coffee too.

I do not believe you can do anything further legally about this. I know of far worse happening in France and nothing was done by the authorities.

Put it down to experience and move on!

[wilshire223]

^^ bakery (paragraph 2)? I bought that, and bread, in order to get change (paragraph 1). I believe I had the coffee on my hand all along but did put it on the counter in order to remove the lid. Not that it makes any difference.

Now your question is perhaps.. just your innocent question, but speaking of deterrents, carrying pepperspray in cities like LA is part of life, not illegal or ‘lucky me I had something in my hand just as I felt threatened’.

[nomoss]

[quote user="wilshire223"]^^ bakery (paragraph 2)? I bought that, and bread, in order to get change (paragraph 1). I believe I had the coffee on my hand all along but did put it on the counter in order to remove the lid. Not that it makes any difference.

Now your question is perhaps.. just your innocent question, but speaking of deterrents, carrying pepperspray in cities like LA is part of life, not illegal or ‘lucky me I had something in my hand just as I felt threatened’.[/quote]

Well, that does make more sense of your account, and yes, the question was innocent.

It is not illegal to carry pepperspray or similar, for self defence, in France, it may be purchased on line and, I believe, from gun shops. In fact I have a can of CS gas clipped to the dashboard in my camper van, another larger one in the door pocket of my car, and my wife has one in her purse, bought after an attempted mugging in the camper in a motorway rest area.

However, I am not sure if its use would be considered justified in your case, as, in your own words, you attacked someone on their own premises after "He must’ve realized what he was doing wasn’t even legal in the first

place that he quickly grabbed all my stuff from the floor and the

counter, put it inside the bag and handed it back to me"

In fact it could have been legal. Many shops, at least those around here, have a

clearly visible notice to the effect that they reserve the right to

search customers' bags.

Up to that time, according to you yourself, he had not laid a hand on you. I'm not sure what most people's reaction would be to having hot coffee thrown in their face, but you should have expected some reaction, and in the light of your world travels and experience, gone to the authorities to complain if you felt your rights had been infringed.

I also hope that your action was not driven by any feeling of superiority, as your account is ever so slightly tinged with a hint of this.

[Chancer]

Coffee is not an effective déterrent, throwing it in someones face because you feel threatened is not going to incapacitate someone but sure as hell is going to make them angry and to respond legitimately to the assault in self defence, more than likely to escalate the violence.

The legal (in France) deterrents will deter a rational person and if they don't then they will incapacitate for long enough for you to remove yourself from the situation, unless you were trapped and felt justifiably frightened for your safety then removing yourself is clearly, with hindsight the best thing to do, from what I have read it was the shop owner that was assaulted.

[mint]

Chance, "coffee is not an effective deterrent"?  Depends on the temperature of the coffee, surely?

Coffee can stay damn hot in one of those plastic or insulated containers.  Speaking personally if I were, say, wearing something white and expensive, I would be angry as hell if someone threw coffee over me.  Even I, known for disliking confrontation, cannot guarantee that I would not retaliate[:(]

[Chancer]

A déterrent is something to be used to deter, the threat of being maced or tasered is an effective déterrent for someone behaving rationally, if it doesn't and the weapon is used it will incapacitate for enough time to get away from the situation.

Throwing a coffee in the face of someone who you feel threatened by will get the same result as poking a bear with a stick.

 

I think the OP was very lucky not to have been seriously injured and also prosecuted.