WHERE DO I BEGIN!!!

[darren]

FIRST POST,HI TO ALL,MY WIFE AND I AND MY TWO GIRLS AGED 7 AND 3 ARE MOVING TO NEAR MONTBRON CHARENTE IN NEW YEAR,WE ARE GOING TO TRY AND RENT AT FIRST(AS ADVISED) BUT DONT WANT TO BE MOVING SCHOOLS ONCE THE GIRLS ARE SETTLED.WE WOULD RATHER RENT NEAR A GOOD SCHOOL THAN GET THE HOUSE AND FIND THE GIRLS ARE NOT HAPPY IN LOCAL SCHOOL.IF ANYONE OUT THERE HAS ANY EXPERIENCE OF SCHOOLS AROUND THIS AREA OR JUST ADVICE IN GENERAL IT WOULD BE MOST WELCOME,OUR 7 YEAR OLD IS UNDERSTANDABLY CONCERNED ABOUT MOVING TO A SCHOOL "WHERE SHE WONT BE ABLE TO TALK TO ANYONE!!!"AND WE KEEP ASSURING HER SHE WILL BE FINE,WHILST SECRETLY PRAYING THAT SHE WILL BE! MANY THANKS FOR ANY CONTRIBUTIONS,GOOD NEWS OR BAD!

[M]

Please stop SHOUTING!

M

[Bugsy]

Welcome Darren,

I think that what 'M' put so caringly [8-)] is that the use of CAPITAL letters on forums is generally seen as shouting.

Enjoy the new adventure.........................................

[Dick Smith]

Also, it makes your message very hard to read. You are more likely to get an answer if people can read it comfortably.

[TWINKLE]

I'm so sorry to be negative but I've seen similar posts on this forum over the last 18 months and normally keep my mouth shut - but.........

I realise that it's YOUR dream to come to live in France but the thought of taking my 8 year old daughter  (was born in France BTW, speaks good English and fluent French) to an English speaking school and away from her friends would break my heart. 

Your three year old will be okay I think,  but stop kidding yourself and your older daughter that everything will be great for her and that she'll be speaking fluent French the day she steps into a école Primaire.  Be truthful with yourselves and especially with her that it WILL be difficult for a while, otherwise she's going to feel guilty and confused for not fitting in straight away.

Good luck!

 

[Suze01]

Just to counter that with personal experience (Twinks was talking hypothetically), I think 8-9 is the limit.  Our son was 8 when we moved here five years ago.  The first day I literally had to drag him down the road to get him into the school (but then he is a shy type anyway).  That same afternoon her came out of class with a huge smile on his face and several new friends.  With-in 3 months he was 'comfortable' with the language. When he moved up to collège 3 years ago new friends he'd not met before didn't even realise he wasn't French at first as his language is at the same level as theirs and he speaks with a local accent.

The point is that every child is different, some are shy, some are outgoing, some have a head for picking up the language others struggle.

I wouldn't bring a child over here older than 8 but your daughter is 7 just now.  Give her lots of support and encouragement, and as twinkle said be truthful - it will be tough for her at first.

"Where do I begin?" Start with French lessons ASAP, read some basic books, try to learn as much vocabularly as possible.

[Tourangelle]

Personally I think it depends 100% on the child and on the parents, but my perspective is that of a teacher in collège who has seen children arrive and go through the system.  To be honest, I have never had a British child, but lots of other nationalities.  I have seen a couple of bright children arrive and not look back, arriving in France at 11.  Others have been less successful.  Several reasons for a lack of success (by which I mean failure to integrate and to write the language), they didn't have proper schooling in their home country, (which obviously wouldn't be a problem here), school was seen as a legal obligation, not something good, various things like that.  The ones who came out ok (example, last year a Bosnian with refugee status who had arrived at 12 went off to lycée having got her brevet) were the ones who had their parents behind them, and help from the school.  The school has a specific section for new arrivals, they have them in primary schools too, they are called CLIN, but are only available where there is a significant immigrant community.

What I would do if I were you is continue not to show your concern to your child, as it won't help.  Get her as familiar as you can with the French language.  Do you speak French yourself?  This will be key, will you be able to talk to teachers about her progress and about how she is integrating with her classmates and understand what she is studying in order to help her at home?  If not, you will not be able to support her properly.  Make sure she knows key phrases for her first day, can she ask to go to the toilet, does she know how to say that she doesn't understand?  Find out about activities on Wednesdays, try to find her friends from her class, don't necessarily opt for the school where you find a person who speaks English, but go for the school where you feel she will be most comfortable.  I'm not saying she'll be ok, your attitude and what you do to prepare her are going to be the most important elements in her success or failure to integrate.

[Joy1]

I would really second what Tourangelle says. Kids can (and do) settle into school, but having parental support is very important. Out 2 have been at school since January 2006 (we arrived in November 2005, and gave them a long break to settle into the new house etc), they were aged 11 and 8 when we arrived and both went into primaire. On the first day we sent each of them with a notebook with phrases written in french (english translation next to it) for such questions as "can i go to the tiolet please?" "can you help me?" and others such as "I feel sick!" "I don't understand" etc. Ask your daughter what she would like to be able to say to her teacher. The children were able to show the teachers what they needed to say, and within a couple of weeks the books were no longer needed as the kids had picked up some simple phrases. You could also write down some things she might want to tell her new friends, like what pets she has etc. Our children didn't seem to speak very much for about 3 months, then suddenly they were chatting away non- stop with their mates. Both have settled well into school life and have gone up a class each year with their friends, son is now in 5eme and daughter in CM2. It has been very helpful that my husband is fluent, he can help with the homework, so as Tourangelle says, it will help if you are already fluent yourself. all the best, Joy

[Iceni]

More importantly make sure that your decision to move is based on more than a whim and fancy and you will make a success in your new life and not find yourself back in that little island in 2/3 years time feeling a homesick failure. You have not mentioned work so I guess that is all sorted but in other areas how will YOU fit in here ? Children are far more adaptable and resilient than adults think they are.

John

not

[darren]

sorry! thanks for your help!

[Bugsy]

[quote user="darren"]

sorry! thanks for your help!

[/quote]

[:D][:D][:D][:D]

[darren]

Thanks for the advise,we have no idea how we will fit in over there,and obviously we are nervous ourselves,but we are trying to learn the language,we love the area,we know that it will be hard at first,but we just feel that we no longer want our children to be brought up in this country,sad but true! 

[mint]

No need to whisper either, Darren.  Just speak normally, like this!

All the very best to you and your family.

[darren]

hi twinkle,thanks for your response.You are right of course,the thought of our daughter being unhappy at school or anywhere does break our hearts,but we are thinking of her long term safety and happiness.She will be 7 in december and because of the state of our own country we dont even feel safe letting her play outside without our constant supervision,shes being deprived of her childhood,certainly the carefree childhood i enjoyed! 

[darren]

I know, thanks sweet but that was just for M,thanks for your best wishes,the same to you!

[darren]

thanks Suzie,this gives us some belief that she will settle in eventually,we know its going to be hard for her at first,even harder for us parents to learn the lingo but were trying really hard so we can fit in to our new surroundings,we dont want to be "the ignorant foreigners who refuse to integrate".The whole reason for coming to france is that we respect the values that the french still seem to uphold, and sadly we feel are rarely found anymore in England.All the best to you and your family. 

[M]

Much apprciated, Darren. It's just that I had a really bad headache...[:D]

[darren]

Thanks Joy1,some very useful tips there,i notice you say you gave your kids a break,i was thinking along the same lines,do you think this benefitted them?and also what are the rules on this,is there a time limit or would it affect what school year they were entered into?

[TWINKLE]

Hi darren!

I understand that as a parent you want what's best for your kids and - yes - I prefer to be here in France raising my daughter than say,  in the town where I was born (even though I do pine something awful for my roots).

I've been living here for over 18 years and I have observed that we are definately at least 10 years behind for most things that happen in Britain - eg. recession, street crime, underage drinking and drug usage, child obesity etc...  However kids in France DO and have always HAVE gotten drunk before the age of 18 and experimented with drugs.  There is also delinquence and all the other horrors here (even in the rural areas) and God forbid the thing that all parents are terrified of - paedophiles. A big difference between Britain and France is that the media here don't report these incidents half as much.

I live 30 kms from the nearest town in a hamlet of about 15 families.  My daughter is,  as I type,  playing with two 8 year old neighbours up on the square about 25 metres (sorry - I've been here so long I've gone metric[:)]) from where I sit.  I can actually hear her shouting and laughing.  However,  I STILL feel the need to pop my head put the door every so often because I also worry about her coming to harm even out here in the sticks. 

I haven't lived in Britain for a long time and have not much idea of what it would be like raising a child there myself.  What I do know though is that here,  I worry for her as I would in any other country.  Somebody who used to post on this forum  talked a lot about 'rose tinted glasses'. 

Make sure you take them off when you come to live here for good.

Again - I wish you and your family good luck and all the best in your venture. 

[Joy1]

Hi Darren

Yes, I think they definately benefited from the break. However we arrived at the end of November abd therefore only 3 weeks before the Christmas holidays, seemed a better idea to miss this time and then start at the return in  January. However, we did visit the school in week 1 (early December) and meet the head and sort out which class to put the kids in and meet their new class teacher and classmates. The children were much happier once they knew what the school was like inside and who their teachers were going to be! If you arriving in January, have a look at how close the holidays are, usually there is a 2 week break in February.(perhaps some kind person can put a link to the appropriate  website!) It might be beneficial to wait another few weeks before starting school. However, this does reduce the chance of your daughter going up a year with her classmates in September next year. You need to discuss which year she will be best starting in, remember the school "year", in respect to ages, goes from January to DEcember and not Sept to August. Your daughter might benefit from being put down a year if she is just 7 when you arrive. Again, discuss this with the head teacher and be guided by their oppinion. My son was kept back a year to top year primary instead of college but my daughter went into the right year , effectively gaining a year on her brother[:)] At the end of the day, you know your daughter best, do what you feel is best for her. Hope it works out for you, Joy

[DZ]

[quote user="Joy1"] If you arriving in January, have a look at how close the holidays are, usually there is a 2 week break in February.(perhaps some kind person can put a link to the appropriate  website!) [/quote]

Have a look at this link.  Just click on the region you are moving to and you will get the details of school holidays.

http://www.education.gouv.fr/pid184/le-calendrier-scolaire.html

Best wishes!

[darren]

thanks joy,i forgot to ask,is it best to enrol before we actually move there or should we turn up in january and try and get it all sorted for the restart of term at the end of feb?

[Joy1]

Hi Darren. I think it is easier to do in person after your arrival. You need to go to your local mairie and ask about enrolling in ecole primaire. As we live in a large town, we were redirected to another organisation(forget it's name) that deals with primary education, it was still in the town centre though. They made the appointment at the school with the headteacher and dealt with regisration. The head teacher decided which year and class to put the children in.(Be sure to take along birth certificates and a printout of up to date vaccinations!) We also took along a few of the childrens class books from england to show the head, think this helped her to decide which class to put them in (year). Children who are doing well in school in Uk will find it easier to pick up the language and deal with different subjects in french, again, you know your child best in this respect, but if the new headteacher wants to look at previous work, be guided by what (S)he recommends! It will be fine for you to turn up in January and have them registered in time for the re-start of term at the end of Feb. All the best, Joy

PS> Thanks DZ for the link!

[Thibault]

 

Twinkle wrote

"However kids in France DO and have always HAVE gotten drunk before the age of 18 and experimented with drugs.  There is also delinquence and all the other horrors here (even in the rural areas) and God forbid the thing that all parents are terrified of - paedophiles. A big difference between Britain and France is that the media here don't report these incidents half as much."

The local papers in 71 are reporting the increasing problem of "Le binge-drinking" with quite a significant percentage of teenage boys and about 40% of teenage girls regularly getting drunk. Some of these children are as young as 12.  There is also something of a crisis in the local schools, with official figures showing around 70% of students having difficulty with schoolwork and falling behind.

The local papers regularly have reports of vandalism, theft and the latest "thrill" of stealing cars and setting them on fire.  This happens in both town and rural areas.  The latest Bulletin from our Commune (a small rural one of around 900 people) reports that due to vandalism and other abuses, the recycling centre has had to be moved from its previous fairly isolated area, to one next to the Commune Workshops, so that an eye can be kept on it.

 

 

 

[Deby]

I know we have two opionions of moving school-aged children to France. It is good to get a balance.  I lived in France for 6 years, arrived when daughter was 1 and had my son in France.  We returned to the UK on account of poor education system in rural France as well as my belief that France's education system is antiquated - more akin to the 1950's. It depends what you want for your children.

I do get nervous when families wish to 'relocate to France' in the name of a better quality of life for their children and that becomes the sole motivation/justification for the move. I love France dearly but it is incredibly hard to raise a family there.  I speak good enough French, husband is fluent and we both were employed with decent salaries.  Do people forget how difficult it is to learn a language and find a job that pays the bills.  Many French in rural France survive hand to mouth and with help from their  families, none of which newly arrived ex-pats have. 

Re-location works for some people (namely retirees), but during the last 4 years I have seen countless ex-pats struggle and have to return.  It is mainly those with young families.  Do your research Darren and rent for six months first. You will learn so much during that period to discover whether it is really for you and your family, you might discover the apathy you feel with the UK may not look so bleak after all.