Advice needed for moving 4 year old boy to the Dordogne, please

[alittlebitfrench]

I totally agree. Sit them down in front of Gulli which is the main kids TV channel in France. They will absorb the language.

http://www.gulli.fr/

It is the only TV channel our kids watch it.

If you are a young family, don't make the mistake of bringing UK TV with you...even for yourselves.....well unless it is for your guests. But don't watch it. That is really important.

Turn UK TV off.

[EuroTrash]

You say that you consider you and your partner to be disciplinarians and that being the case I don't think you'll have a problem with the French schooling system. The problems tend to arise with more liberal parents from the UK who think that good behaviour is nowhere near as important as nurturing little Johnny's spontaneous personality and imagination, and at no cost must you stunt his personal growth by telling him off or heaven forbid, punishing him when he's naughty. So there's a conflict between teachers and parents and the kids know how to exploit it.

I note you say 'partner', hopefully you are going to consider making the relationship is official as in either marriage or civil partnership if you buy a joint home in France, due to inheritance laws.

[Debra]

[quote user="alittlebitfrench"]I totally agree. Sit them down in front of Gulli which is the main kids TV channel in France. They will absorb the language.

http://www.gulli.fr/

It is the only TV channel our kids watch it.

If you are a young family, don't make the mistake of bringing UK TV with you...even for yourselves.....well unless it is for your guests. But don't watch it. That is really important.

Turn UK TV off.[/quote]I think the only way my son might be induced to watch any French TV at all is if he has a friend over to play and the friend wants to watch it.

He's been here since he was born (though didn't start school until GS) and based upon the older kids' language acquisition since they came at around his age now, I don't think he'll have any problems in the long term.

[Leanne]

Once again, some fantastic and really helpful replies. Seriously, I am quite an anxious person and you have helped me out a lot with the positivity. Thank you.

We are entering into a Civil Partnership. Health Care is a big thing so we have looked into this a great deal. We will triple/quadruple etc check though! Upon your advice.

Wow. A shop in Sarlat wpuld be grear. You're right though.... what would you open? Maybe a café type farm shop that has soft play for children? They make a killing over here. Who knows.

Thanks again to everyone who posted good advice and positive messages. Really do appreciate it x

[idun]

[quote user="EuroTrash"]You say that you consider you and your partner to be disciplinarians and that being the case I don't think you'll have a problem with the French schooling system. The problems tend to arise with more liberal parents from the UK who think that good behaviour is nowhere near as important as nurturing little Johnny's spontaneous personality and imagination, and at no cost must you stunt his personal growth by telling him off or heaven forbid, punishing him when he's naughty. So there's a conflict between teachers and parents and the kids know how to exploit it.

I note you say 'partner', hopefully you are going to consider making the relationship is official as in either marriage or civil partnership if you buy a joint home in France, due to inheritance laws.[/quote]

Eurotrash I nearly blew a fuse when I read that!

Believe me or not, problems with french education have NOTHING to do with liberal parents, more to do with teachers. I never met one teacher /prof who had a clue as to what to do with my obviously bright son, apart from try and ecrase him and in that they succeeded royally. Telling me that my son was not normal, was unhelpful.Nothing was normal and 'they' were not what I would ever call fit to be in front of any class.

And on we moved, 5 colleges in those four years of college and he had  a nervous breakdown and can you wonder why we now have a damaged adult!

When our troubles hit rock bottom, I spoke to desperate parents all over France, all french, because even then, without this WWW we were not alone. And as it happened all these people, highly educated in good jobs, who knew exactly how the system worked for them and in shock that there was nothing to help their struggling child. One was a surgeon in Aquitaine, and you do not get to be a Dr in France, never mind a surgeon without fitting into french education.

I do hope that things have improved since then, and the profs,  now know what they are doing, but I won't hold my breath. And the only ones who really suffer are these children who are 'different'.

Best not to get me started about french education. It can and does work for some, but when it does not, then it is quite a different story. My regret that we left our kids in college in France will be with me for the rest of my days. How could I have imagined how bad it could get, I just could not.

[EuroTrash]

Sorry I upset you.

But I'm afraid that you've basically confirmed my point - that the problems arise when there's a different in attitude between parents and teachers, and that children are not encouraged to be "different" or special in any way at school.

"I never met one teacher /prof who had a clue as to what to do with my obviously bright son" but

obviously there is more to this than meets the eye, because a teacher is there to teach, a child is there to learn, and a bright child will learn well so it would be a match made in heaven. So it can't simply have been the fact of him being bright that was the problem.

[alittlebitfrench]

The French educational system is quite rigid and you have to play by the rules. In is not a problem with the teachers but rather the system. Also it is very elitist, even in rural areas. As Idun says, coming from a wealthy background or having connections will have more of a bearing on the childs future than the intellect of the individual child. I have known children who have jumped a class on the basis that the parents knew the local director of education and not because their child was any brighter than the other in his class. Of course jumping a class is great for your future. Going back a class is a stigma that will stay with you. That is France. Everybody knows it.

For parents it is a fight and like I said you bite your lip and play the game.

In terms of a child that differs from the norm (brighter/behavioural problems ect) you need to get that problem diagnosed by a professional. We took our child to a psychotherapist. When we went back to the school and told them that they are being medically followed then that changed everything. They understand there is a problem and they help. But without that bit of paper (typically French) life would be a lot different and they probably would have ignored the problems.

But of course again, attitudes in cities are very different to rural areas in France. It always comes back to the same thing in France. It is two different countries.

Nevertheless, I would rather my child has French qualifications than English qualifications so if you are up for the battle then it can work for an expat.

Just choose your location and school carefully.

[EuroTrash]

I wonder if it's also true to say that the French are not as impressed by a child who happens to be exceptionally bright as the UK is. They are more concerned with a child having a good attitude and making the most of whatever abilities he or she has. In the same way that a "sérieux" kid who has trained to be a shop assistant or a delivery driver or whatever, will get just as much respect as a higher flyer who has also studied hard and shown a good attitude. When it comes to applying for that type of job, the kid who has trained for it will get preference over a brainier kid who has trained for something more ambitious but can't find a job in his own speciality - which would not necessarily be the case in the UK, where people who happen to be "brighter" sometimes (not always) get preference even for bottom feeder jobs.

[Patf]

Leanne - going back to the subject of speaking english at home:

We had english neighbours here for some years (they're back in England now ) and they had 2 children born while they were here. They went to maternelle, a "private" catholic one, they don't charge much here. The oldest one, a girl absolutely refused to speak french at home. While at school she quickly learnt to speak french with her peers.

The little boy didn't say much at all, in either language.