Lesbatees

I started writing this last summer, but for various reasons it's taken rather longer than expected. Now its got going again I'll post each chapter as I complete it. I wanted to write something lighthearted about a family moving to France without resorting to the usual stereotypes of eccentric locals and amusing incidents with livestock. Am I succeeding? You tell me. All constructive criticism gratefully received. Val

"If there's one thing that epitomises those changes I've seen happening to England in the last 30 years that I've hated and detested, it's the Sun and its popularity. It lives by appealing to all that is base and hateful in the human character, greed, vindictiveness, jealousy, race hatred, prurience. As many an unscrupulous media baron has discovered, it's a good formula for selling crap if you can stomach it." Ian, You are so right. Unfortunately, it's nothing new. The Sun and its ilk are the inheritors of a tradition that goes back to the days of the bards. Mass literacy has, unfortunately, given them much more power. Over the years the Murdoch Sun has been right in the forefront of pushing journalism further and further into the gutter. What is really frightening is that the man owns a whopping great proportion of the print and broadcast media all over the world. Val

You will need to know how she defines "vegetarian". Some stricter veggies would not, for example, eat cheese that has been made using animal rennet, so cheese is out in most cases. If you find out what she will and will not eat I can send you some receipes, or post them here. Val

I'm not sure it is right to dismiss your daughter's concerns as just teenage negativity. Yes, they can be bloody negative at times, but it sounds to me as if your daughter is airing some legitimate concerns here, and you obviously have your doubts, or you wouldn't be asking the question. It's not just a matter of education, either. I'm an adult (supposedly), and I was really committed to our move, but during the first 6-9 months I found myself missing friends and familiar places very badly. As you struggle with a new language and and unfamiliar customs the sense of isolation can be very acute indeed, even if, like us, you have made some very good friends and have helpful and friendly neighbours. What it comes down to is this - are you so set on this move that you would do it even if your daughter were to be deeply unhappy? Val

Ray, Oooops!! Its actually "self slaughter". As in "oh that the Everlasting had not fixed his canon 'gainst self-slaughter" - Hamlet. That's what comes of trying to be pretentious. Reminds me of a friend of mine who played Hamlet at Progress Theatre a few years ago. On the second night of the run, when he got to THAT speech, he strolled on to the stage, took a deep breath, and began, "To be or not to be? Whether it is wiser in the heart ..." He's never been allowed to forget it. What I actually meant to say was that the Catholic Church maintains a very strict stance on suicide. It's a mortal sin (straight to Hell forever, no time off in Purgatory). Therefore, if you kill yourself because you are suffering from a terminal illness you go to hell. I'll post the results of my conversation with the ADMD rep here. Will be a while, though, as we have friends arriving today to stay for ten days. Val

[quote]Thanks for the website, Val! I think your last question is covered on the site under 'New Rights'.[/quote] Ray, Believe you are right. I'm going to check my understanding with the local rep, anyway, though, just to make sure. Talking it over with hubby this lunchtime, we agreed that whether or not Living Wills have legal status here it is best to put something in writing, as it will at least make things clear and support one's partner if trouble (a la Schiavo) arises. BTW - read about the Pope in today's Grauniad. Wonder whether he feels quite the same way about the Church's stance on "self destruction" now ... Val

For anyone who is interested. A French friend helped me find the website of the Association pour le Droit de Mourir dans la Dignité. url is www.admd.net (sorry, can't do links). They have a local rep for my area, so I'm going to contact him and find out about the legal position regarding the right to refuse treatment in France. Val

Thanks SB for the link to the article. The case closely resembles that of Diane Pretty in the UK. She fought a long battle to allow her husband to assist her to die. Unfortunately, she lost, and died in the distressing manner she had hoped to avoid. I personally find it disturbing that in supposedly secular countries the law in this area is still really based on Judaeo Christian ethics about life and death. Why should a relative minority be allowed to dictate what the majority can do? I am not a Christian, and I damn well want the right to end my life at a time of my own chosing, should I so wish, or ask someone else to help me do so should I be unable to physically perform the task. OK, rant over. Think I'll go and make a cup of tea now ... Val

We are 20 minutes' drive from the A6, and 20 minutes' drive from Beaune, in the countryside near the Canal du Centre. Website: www.lesbattees.com Val

We are 20 minutes' drive from the A6, and 20 minutes' drive from Beaune, in the countryside near the Canal du Centre. Website: www.lesbattees.com Val

My commiserations. The old fashioned approach to this is to piss in their tunnels, this is supposed to deter them. It may not work, but it could at least give some personal satisfaction. Roy

"Of course you can get excellent care here for serious conditions, and of course the NHS has its problems. But I think in some ways medical attitudes, of both doctors and the public, are 20 years behind the UK." I agree with you about the attitude of doctors and public to the practice of medicine. I've been comparing notes with a friend in the UK who had treatment for breast cancer two years ago. Counselling was a big part of the whole thing, with a dedicated nurse available to answer any questions. The emphasis of my treatment, on the other hand, has been entirely technical. I've had to research the quesions I want answered and ask them. I've always received satisfactory answers, but no-one volunteers anything. I recently went through a heavy bout of depression, and was offered anti-depressants as a matter of course. I had to ask about counselling (which I think would have been offered automatically in the UK, given the circumstances), and was then provided with a list of names of psychologues attached to the hospital. I would agree that the theory of medical practice in the UK is much better for the patient. Unfortunately, the practice is somewhat hampered by the lack of resources. Val

[quote]The "factual" stuff in the article was okay. But this stuff about A&E laying on croissants, dealing with you before you know you're injured, and charging you about 5 centimes for it, mon oeil! ...[/quote] Yeah, I found that one a bit too much to swallow, especially after my French Hospital Catering Experience. The only provision for patients and their relatives I've seen in the Clinique I was in is one very tired vending machine and some equally tired sandwiches in the little shop which sells newspapers and magazines. Val

As someone who's currently far too well accquainted with the French Health Service, I found it to be a good article on the whole. But, but, but ... Can't help wondering if he would be quite so "unnerved" by the French "obsession" with health if he, or a member of his family, were facing a serious illness. One of the most chilling stories I've been told since my breast cancer was diagnosed concerns a woman who went to her GP with severe breast pain. He told her "pain does not equal cancer", and sent her away. Eighteen months, and a lot of pain, later she was diagnosed with late-stage breast cancer. Inoperable, and it had spread to the bones. A neat little illustration of the danger of making a general medic the gatekeeper to specialist services while under pressure to refer as few people as possible in order to conserve dwindling resources. I think we sometimes take the British "stiff upper lip" a bit too far. At the moment I'll take French "hypochondria" any day of the week. Val

The French do not regard illness as a taboo subject. Here's an example. I’m currently undergoing chemotherapy. I arrived at 9.30 am as requested. The waiting room was packed with a horde of disgruntled earlier arrivals. The doctor, it seemed, was running late. A lively conversation was in progress as I muttered “Bonjour Monsieur/Dame” and slunk off into a corner with my book. As my ear became attuned to the dialogue, I found that what was going on could only be described as a pissing contest. Symptoms and side effects were being minutely compared, and everyone seemed determined to outdo their neighbour. “Only four days flat on your back unable to move? All your hair fell out in the course of one afternoon? Ulcers as big as walnuts? That’s nothing! Let me tell you …” On and on it went. By the time my name was called I was trying very hard not to burst into hysterical laughter, as it was all rather reminiscent of Comic Relief’s Yorkshiremen sketch. I just cannot imagine this scenario taking place in an oncologist’s waiting room in Britain. In my experience, we Brits just do not talk about such things, not in doctor’s waiting rooms anyway. Everyone keeps themselves occupied with the piles of ancient magazines provided and studiously ignores their neighbours. Most of the French people I’ve got to know seem to be undergoing treatment for something or other. I feel I’ve been welcomed into a fraternity, and socialising is much easier, as I now have something of real interest to talk about. Every aspect of my treatment is commented on in detail. The average Brit, on the other hand, would be glazing over by the time I reached the initial diagnosis. It’s just not done to go on about one’s health problems – you’re expected to laugh it off and move on to a safer subject, like the traffic on the M25 or the weather. On the whole, I prefer the French attitude. I don’t want to dwell on my illness but I don’t want to have to pretend nothing’s wrong either. The British stiff upper lip is all very well but right now I’ll settle for French “hypochondria”. Val

Di, A meat-free cookbook in French? What's it called, and who is the author? Val

[quote]Is it a peculiarly British phenomenon, the incidence of garden gnome theft, or are they (garden gnomes) also stolen from French gardens?[/quote] I get the impression that the garden gnome-napping trend over here was inspired by the bit in the film "Amelie" where she nicks her Dad's garden gnome and sends him off on a round the world jaunt. In the UK it seems to be mainly a Rag Week thing. The weirdest one I've ever come across was when I lived in Hatfield. A group of students from the Poly nicked the Comet replica from outside the Comet hotel and held it to ransom for charity. The glow in the dark Virgin Mary sounds absolutely surreal!! Love it. Val

Hiya Chrissie, Yes, it was me with brilliant ma-in-law. I use Lesbatees as there are a couple of Vals already, and I didn't want to cause confusion - although I seem to have done so anyway! If I have to exclude ma-in-law because I've mentioned her already, I'll have to nominate pa-in-law instead. He came here last spring and wallpapered four rooms in ten days - at the age of 76. Then he trimmed the hedge and mulched up all the cuttings in his "spare time". They're both brilliant. Val

[quote]Marry me Val could do with a new mother-in-law[/quote] Alas kind sir, I must regretfully decline your proposal. I suspect you only want me for my mother-in-law. Val

I never say no to my mother-in-law. Never mind getting her to notice that things need doing - my problem is to get her to stop doing them. If deprived of work to do in the house she starts on the garden. I'm thinking of renting her out to friends on her next trip out. Oh, and she fills the car with English produce on the way out, too ... Val

[quote]Pete Townsend![/quote] Roger Daltrey wasn't bad, either. My fave Doctor was Tom Baker. No-one ever bettered him (even the "original", William Hartnell). Val

Ok, Ok, I know it's not France-related, but there is a precedent! From today's Grauniad: "Carry on Doctor It is unfair to review a restaurant on opening night, but an event as important as the return of Doctor Who after a hiatus of 15 years (not counting the ill-fated 1996 US TV movie co-production, to which BBC executives have the same regard Stalin had for Trotsky) is of such importance to millions of fans around the world that instant judgments are required. The good Doctor is most definitely back... and many traditionalists are going to greet this radical new version with utter dismay. Let's start with the negatives - and there are many. This is Who for the attention deficit disorder generation. The wonderfully slow build-up of tension that was a hallmark of the series at its finest - think of the Hand of Fear creeping towards Sarah Jane! - was entirely absent from episode one, entitled Rose. The series starts with a dazzling special effect where we zoom from space right into the bedroom of our young heroine, Rose. An effect that would have been beyond the scope of the previous series and is a harbinger of things to come. Rose goes to work, hangs out in Trafalgar Square, is attacked in the basement of her department store where she works by animated shop mannequins. Then she is miraculously rescued by the Doctor, before the store blows up in an almighty explosion -- all in the first 10 minutes. And we don't rest from there. The effects are totally impressive... but with Who that was never the point. The plastic store mannequins that have come to life and are intent on taking over the world, as any Who aficionado could tell you, are Autons, but to label them so is almost meaningless, for nothing in this series bears much resemblance to the past. It is not just the Doctor that has regenerated - the series also has from top to bottom and is pitched at its youngest ever audience. This is what the BBC labels Family Entertainment, and the older fans are just going to have to stick with the annoying breakbeat soundtrack, the very unWho-like scenes of domesticity in Rose's tower block apartment, the jittery London streetscape. If they will do so they will come across moments of great inventiveness - particularly when the Autons animate a wheelie bin to take care of Rose's boyfriend. But more often than not they are outweighed by utter obviousness. But even scenes such as this overdose on humour as the bin burps after swallowing up its prey. This madcap playing almost purely for laughs continues, at one point when the Doctor has deanimated a severed arm of an auton and labels it "armless", a pun so obvious even Roger Moore as James Bond would blush under his tan before deploying it. As for the cast, Billie Piper is an excellent companion as Rose, but as the Doctor rarely is Christoper Eccleston allowed to be anything more than a goofy, otherworldly buffoon. And are they about to get it on? When the Doctor asks Rose to join him on his travels it is almost like he is asking her out on a date. Maybe he is - but surely the age-old rule on no hanky panky in the Tardis is one that even this incarnation of the programme is not set to break. This new Doctor Who is almost utterly action and humour focused but the strongest scene is between the leads on an ordinary London street, where the Doctor poetically reveals his alien otherworldliness to Rose and his reason for being. If only there was more like that for the older fans to enjoy. A preview tape following the screening of the first episode promises much, much more - the end of the world, the invasion of the cabinet and yes, the Daleks, at first chained and seemingly helpless and later screeching not exterminate, but "elevate!" as they climb a flight of stairs. As a diehard Who fan, I will watch all the remaining episodes wishing, hopefully not totally in vain, that they had laid off the Ritalin." I don't know, but to someone who was bought up on John Pertwee and Tom Baker, the idea of Christopher Ecclestone in a black leather jacket, and Daleks that can actually climb stairs is somewhat disconcerting. Anyone actually see it? Val

Noticed in the Observer today that the catering company boss he took to task about Turkey Twizzlers has announced they will no longer supply them, even if schools ask for them. Chalk one up for JO. Val

Seems pretty much what I expected - possible in theory but damn difficult in practice due to the attitude of the authorities. The English system seems to give parents a lot more leeway. Though if the teaching unions and the educational bureaucrats have their way, that may change, as these two articles in the Grauniad illustrate. http://education.guardian.co.uk/schools/comment/story/0,,1307142,00.html http://education.guardian.co.uk/schools/story/0,5500,1272075,00.html Sorry, I don't know how to do links. Who has legal responsibility in France for ensuring kids get an education? Is it the State rather than parents? Is that why there's so much official interference? Val

Something I've been wondering about for a bit. Does home schooling exist in France? Is it even legal? After all, this is the land where everything that isn't obligatoire appears to be interdit :-). Press reports I've read say it's definitely on the rise in Britain. Organisations such as Education Otherwise, which help parents who want to home educate, say they've seen a tripling of enquiries from parents over the last five years. I've encountered two home educated kids in the past - one 6 year old and a teenage girl in hubby's theatre workshop. Both had an impressive level of maturity and breadth of knowledge when compared their peers. What's the story on home education in France? Does anyone know? Val