Vraititi<P>PSG till I die -fluctuat nec mergitur.<P>

Nah Christine, IMHO, and having closely studied the above mentioned clues, my findings are as follows: Le Maire est le mari de la mère de Marie Lemaire, née Lemerre, domiciliée Place de la Mairie et actuelle Mairesse. Marie, fort marrie et amère, pense déménager à la mer dans son Hymer.

Monsieur le Maire, yes, that's fine. As an aside, have just seen on the France Loisirs site a very good book on letters to admins and the likes, not a bible of unbridled fun, but useful heavy artillery nonetheless. It's a 'pavé' (thick book) called '700 lettres pour régler vos litiges et garantir vos droits', very useful, only 18 euros I think through France Loisirs, you're bound to know s.o who's with them, get that pavé offered to you as a prezzie since many France Loisirs customers struggle to buy the obligatory book every term and are open to suggestions.

Oh dear, oh dear, Dick, after a hard day, your calembour nearly finished me off mate. I would even say that your calembours are more dubious than those of another distinguished user on this very site whose Franglish puns are something else... Anyway, for mains, I've got the site to whet your appetite, that of the legendary brasserie Chez Chartier (a 'populo' brasserie, not an upmarket one) in Paris (www.restaurant-chartier.com), click on the English version of their French menu and, lo and behold...it is the same basically, apart from 'The chef proposes you' + the date which is occasionally in English when they can be bothered that is, as well as the odd 'and' instead of 'et' and 'with' for 'avec'. Ray, in Rouen, I also like the Vieux Carre restaurant and their 'greedy tea room' ('salon de thé gourmand' I think it was in French), there are so many gems to choose from, my fav' site !

http://www.rouentourisme.com/ Click on hotels or restaurants for starters, and check out, say, the 'la creperie régalière' site.

There won't be another revolution, minor or major, in France in a long while, only a few skirmishes and some well-orchestrated noise by wily 'gauchistes révolutionnaires' parvenus such as the youngster Besancenot. The reality in Paris and France as a whole, and not just among the chattering classes and the clattering piliers de zinc, is that, by complete opposition to the 60's and 70's it is now frowned upon to use such heavyweight words as 'prolétaires', 'droits du peuple', etc. You are shouted down by the bien-pensants if you broach the subject. By contrast, people freely use very explicit sexual words in the middle of a mundane conversation, words that would have been truly 'revolutionary' 35 yrs ago. 35 yrs ago, conversations and reactions were pretty much the opposite of today. Maybe a sexual revolution, bis repetita, then ?

Bravo, de bon ton Anton ! Mais attends Anton, entends-tu ton tonton Vraititi ?

Coming back on the subject of comical website translations, looks like the City of Rouen is in a league of its own when it comes to farcical translations, examples abound and too many to list here, best to have a look at the 'restaurants' and 'hotels' sections in the official Rouen Tourism site. Many businesses have simply entered the French (often arduous, literary/poetic French texts to boot !) in a Translation site/box, probably a free one, and it shows ! Mind, it is genuinely hilarious and perversely enough it would entice me in, with such awful translations, the staff can't be bad bougres ! Certainly makes for a side-splitting half-hour or so of reading and comparing. 'Désopillant' and priceless ! On en redemande.

Delighted to see that the older learners appreciate it just as much... Discerning learners, mature and immature, I salute you.

What did you find in yr Grevisse about 'les gens' ? (mine's in Paris). It is, indeed, a very strange word when it comes to adjectival agreements, much like a sozzled Big Brother contestant on Week 10 it is moody to the extreme and suffers from a severe disorder to decide which gender to go for (feminine before, masculine after). I reckon the reason at the basis of it is euphonic as it is easier to say 'les vieilles gens' than 'les vieux gens', 'les curieuses gens' than 'les curieux gens', etc. Such is human nature that centuries ago some lazy erudite must have decided that it was preferable to choose the path of least resistance rather than trying to spurt out smthg which is a bit of a mouthful. That is purely my interpretation, I've never delved into the subject. I am sure that there are a few other such cases but off the top of my (tired) head I can only think of 'amour' which has a similar shifty bisexual nature (ou 'des moeurs louches'). Check out its subtleties in yr dico. As for nursery rhymes, I use www.momes.net/comptines with younger learners of French, there's a whole list divvied up by categories, 100's of them (words + music with some). The comptine about Foix is one of the most famous ones, words below. La ville de Foix, un peu plus au sud dans les Pyrénées, a inspiré cette comptine bien connue des enfants: Il était une fois, une marchande de foie qui vendait du foie dans la ville de Foix. Elle se dit: "Ma foi, c'est la dernière fois que je vends du foie dans la ville de Foix."

See ! at those rates I knew she had to be connected somehow to some sort of Polish plumbing activity, well, she was not Polish, well, what the hell, I'm sure she could have been had she wanted to. I did not so much teach French to the lads as drum into them some key survival phrases for their time in France, ranging from, 'c'est l'arnaque mon pote' to 'Mais ravi de faire votre connaissance, Mademoiselle', via 'alors, on va chez toi ou on reste dehors ?'

3 Euros an hour, crikey, that must be a French record ! I thought I had the record ! as two yrs ago I gave French lessons in my parisian HQ's (my local) to recently-landed aussie folks for 2 months in the summer -at the request of the Patron- and charged 1 Pastis for every 1/4 hour (and a Kir Royal at the beginning of each lesson) but obviously I must lower my demands now. Gosh this foutu world's become so tough. PS: your 3 euros/hour friend, she wasn't a Polish plumber by any chance, was she ?

Oh ben merci, c'est gentil. I sometimes go and visit friends in the Cotswolds but I've never lived there proper, managed 2 months there once, it's a great place but too isolated for me. As for my 'having much to say usually' well, tu sais, moi, j'marche au courant alternatif, aux sautes d'humeur, c'est cyclique tout ça chez moi (that's my feminine side no doubt). Des fois je l'ouvre sans cesse, d'autres fois je me la coule douce, tranquille peinard, en laissant les autres en débattre. Tu sais, moi, j'ai pas des opinions sur tout et je m'en félicite ! J'ai pas d'avis sur tout, mais j'ai surtout des avis quoi, comme on dit en parlance populaire !

If there were to be a scandal in France every time a spot of nepostism or a few lies are uncovered, gosh, the country would be on its knees. For that sort of scandals, consult the informative and humourous Canard Enchaîné and Marianne (both weeklies), both excellent (at small doses), they are full of political and social scandals, outcries and the likes. But the truth of the matter is that corruption is so rife in France that hardly anybody bats an eyelid now.

Thanks Christine for asking after me. No I don't live in London, though I go there a lot and was there last week-end in fact. Yes, I used to live in the NE -well, used to live pretty much everywhere in the UK- but live in the Midlands now. Since the 90's bus and Métro bombings at Saint-Mich' (was over in Paris when it happened), I very rarely use the public transport. In Paris, I've got my scooter, in London I use taxis a lot. Well, I still feel dazed after yesterday's events. And as I wander aimlessly in my own home, feeling groggy, lost and in a sorry state, I keep asking myself, in French, the same damned question (WARNING: lousy pun coming): 'Mais où suis-je ? Où vais-je ? Dans quel état j'erre ?' Yes, that's right, dans quelle étagère ai-je mis cette foutue boutanche de Pastis ?

He is just preparing his retirement of politics in a time-honoured political fashion, by being even awkwarder and snider than usual, making sure he leaves no stones unturned in his quest for annihilating everything in his wake, a fine illustration of 'après moi, le déluge' attitude. I shall remain convinced that his anti-british comments were a sick ploy to destroy Paris. Having said that, it might not be what made Pairs lose entirely, might only have swayed one or 2 voters in favour of London, but the intention was deadly. You ask what's wrong with him, but in his mayorship of Paris for 20 yrs he demonstrated how incredibly vindictive he can be, on a par with De Gaulle for that matter, who also had a dictatorial way of exacting revenge. These 2 are often referred to in the French press as 'having the Hassan II' syndrome', as the late King of Morrocco was known was pursuing his opponents with an incredible vigour, even after their death their families continued to pay the price... As an aside, I am reading in the French press (and hearing in the media) that London's slicker presentation won it for them, they also had celebrities and 20 kids there on hand when Paris only had aging politicians cluttering the space and a few athletes taking a back seat. See, never underestimate the power of kids !

Here we go again, the eagerly awaited ClicheOrama's starting now at an ex-pat's Forum near you ! France's stuck in a rut, living in the past, etc. while England's at the forefront of youth, innovation and whathaveyou.

I am surprised that none of you seems to have noticed that Chirac's rantings were precisely designed to damage and hopefully scupper the Paris bid. By attacking the UK, he was obviously hoping that this most dirty of tactics would turn against Paris and France in 2012, translate: against Delanoé and Sarkozy, his arch ennemies. Chirac does not not give 2 camel's scrotums about the Olympics, he's done his time and will retire soon. The rascal just wanted to save his 'parting shot' for the Paris bid. That is my intime opinion anyhow.

Saperlipopette, I can't believe it ! This is great ! I can now look forward to many more indolent summers of sipping my ballons de blanc in Menilmuche without interruption.

Russet, to assume that Chirac has an 'attitude' to British food is to give the man far too much importance, he is very ignorant you know ! He would not be able to tell his muffin from his puffin to save his life and is ONLY interested in Japoneries (could be translated as 'Japanalia' I suppose), probably only because it is far very away and sounds trendy and introspective. To me, he is not dissimilar to Bush, the oft-derided ignoramus Supremo, well, not much difference with Chirac Le Braque.

Oh, rien de plus facile. The uber-trendy blokes (not) at the 'Commission Générale de Terminologie et Néologie', created in 1996 si je ne m'abuse, and working under the aegis of the Académie Française, will meet, look at what funky new word has appeared out of nowhere of late, make a few phone calls to people swotting up in various specialised language committees (people far more knowledgeable and better informed than themselves), and decide on the official sex of the new word. Then, it'll usually be ratified by the Journal Officiel (sort of 'Hansard', but more exhaustive). If you're interested into the 'sex' of the new terms, check out the following informative link: http://chiennesdegarde.org/article.php3?id_article=51 a now famous movement in France (Les Chiennes de garde)  

Well Dick, we should deem ourselves lucky that words aren't allowed a sex change at all by the Quai de Conti ! (Académie Française). The venerable immortals are far too prudish for that !

Jo, I agree with you when you say that a majority of French people would tend to believe the cliches happily served to them by eager journalists on a weekly basis (although, let's not be too harsh, they are also plenty of positives about England/the English in the French papers/media, which I consult everyday). However, I can't agree with you when say that the Brits are that different when it comes to their perception of France and the French. They are just the same ! Too many of them too ready to gobble up (negative) cliches, stereotypes, platitudes and the likes.

I very very rarely feel angry at all about what the likes of Chirac T***pots gob about, and for good reason, it is usually so risible it only warrants a wry smile. However, today was different. I realised I was positively peeved off by the Thick Man's éructations when a few of my bright(er) kids remarked on what Chirac had said asking me all about it and so on ('Is that what the French people think, Sir ?'). That sort of crass comments really leave a terrible taste in the mouth for young learners of French, and are borderline alienating thousands of people against maybe not France or the French as a whole but agst many things French or associated with France. At best it certainly does no favour to France and the French; at worst it adds grist to the grind of the anti-EU brigade and is manna to heaven for the anti-French Jo & Joe Bloggsie (especially if they have never come into contact with French people). That's adults' territory though, a minefield of a farrago of half-truths and deep-seated cliches. It saddens so much more to see that these comments can impact so negatively on young innocent minds that may well start to question the relevance of learning French, or languages for that matter. The sort of comments that are short in the uttering, but long in the developping, long in the suffering. These comments remind me of a sort of verbal cancer, no known cure, no end to it, just painful remission, contaminating everything in their spreading.  But, why of why, do journalists have to report such tosh ???!!!

Indeed, I can't quite get my head around it either and, sometimes, pondering and wondering and despairing out loud of the fools who invented these rules and exceptions, such as the one you've picked up on, i.e feminine adj. in front of 'gens', mostly used in the well-used (mostly journalistic and literary) phrase 'les petites gens' (meaning 'people of very modest means'). Maybe it is euphonic in this case, what does the Grevisse say about this one ?

Yes, it's very funny, not your joke, I mean, the film !