Vraititi<P>PSG till I die -fluctuat nec mergitur.<P>

Mille milliards de dollars        Yes Ron, Christine is right about 'Milliards', but hey, qui cela surprendra-t-il maintenant ? (is the woman ever wrong ?). If you allow me to add my tuppence my friends, I would like to use this interesting 'Milliards' thread as a pretext to encourage French cinema lovers here to watch -or rediscover- the wonderful film above with the unique Patrick Dewaere (and why, why oh why did you kill yrself Patrick, we all miss you so much), the prescience and sense of forebodding contained in this gem really is frightening. Of course, Captain Haddock's most famous expletive 'mille milliards de mille sabords' is also one way to register the spelling once and for all. Now, who knows the English translation of that most famous of Haddock's 'jurons' ?

Merci, merci L'Animal, heureux d'voir que tu es toujours à la pointe de l'actualité culturelle, but manque de bol, j' n' l'ai ni vu, ni enregistré, comme un glandu j'tais sur les routes, coincé entre deux 'educational conferences' in the south, ces putains de conférences dites 'pédagogiques' (qui servent en fait à muscler l'égo démesuré de beaucoup de ces branques qui écrivent sur nos chères têtes blondes). Putain, j' t' raconte pas, ça te gave l'aorte comme c'est pas pensable, écouter palabrer les nouveaux mercenaires de l'Education, ceux-là mêmes qui, l'air fier, jouissent tant à s'écouter bavasser des heures entières alignant lapalissades sur lapalissades, enfin bref, comme disait le bon Pépin, better not start me on this one. Pour en revenir a notre affaire, faudra qu'j' demande à ma bergère, 'la p'têt vu ou magnétoscopé. Enfin, t'sais, moi j'suis pas un très grand fan de ces artistes qui prolongent indéfiniment leur carrière, ça les regarde c'est sûr, mais bon, dans 99 cas sur cent, ils feraient bien d'arrêter les frais quand ça commence à sentir le roussi if you get my drift. Look at Le Forestier, Lalanne, etc. ça fait presque de la peine de les voir à la téloche now, quand ils n'y font pas les bouffons à courir le cachet, ils nous offrent leurs dernières chansonnettes, usually pas de quoi faire trembler un hanneton. Bah, j'l'aime bien le Souchon, mais ses vieux morceaux, especially 'Allo Maman Bobo', or the lovely wistful one, what's its name, 's'asseoir par terre' (must be at least 18 yrs old) I think, lovely song that one, he seems a nice enough bloke though, they're so few and far between now on telly. Had nearly enough energy left last night to watch part of Ardisson's show after the France game. Maybe I shouldn't have bothered, it was sad, v. sad to see A. Jardin in that state, remember when he popped in unannounced on the literary scene (what, 25 yrs ago or so ?) as a youngster, he was the darling of France with his electric personality and passionate novels, they were so energetic, so full of life, he himself was so full of beans he seemed to be constantly on planet Heaven, he seemed to be so different, so refreshing, in Pivot's stale programmes he stuck out like a sore thumb. 25 yrs on, look at him, a sad-looking quadra, no verve, no originality, what the hell has happened to him ? reduced to write filth about his family, etc. and pass it off as true ramblings, yeah, pull the other one. Oh yes, it sells, 'course it sells, if you mix sex, drugs, zoophily, madness, Pernod, bitchiness and say: this is my family ! (not true but whatever, as he said himself to his disapproving cousin: 'doesn't matter, journalists believe anything that sells'), yeah, it will sell. Affligeant. What happens to so many of these quadras and quinquas (male or female) who, excuse my French, 'partent en couille' (degenerate) so spectacularly, can't they find happiness, serenity, peace, love and tutti quanti after a while, after experimenting for so long, with all their fame and financial security ? And, bordel, how on earth did Ardisson get his English degree (apparently he's got one !), the man can hardly say 'How are you ?' without looking at this notes !

As I explained 3 weeks ago, I'm not going to be butting in too often in the foreseeable future, for professional and personal circumstancial reasons that I do not want to expand on in here, I'm having to re-jig priorities in my life at the moment, and sadly, that involves working like hell doing 2 jobs for 3 people 7 days a week, till 9pm on weekdays (and then pretty much straight to bed) and also at week-ends away from home, thus giving me absolutely zilch free time at the minute, so that's what I'm doing ! Not complaining, just explaining. Miki, I wouldn't feel too sorry for your French students, at least they can go and sun themselves for mos on end down under (No Erasmus programme or charter flights in the late 60's when I started studying). In my time, none of us could afford the air fare to anybloodywhere, it was hitchhike or stay home, or at a push Interrail, for the really well-off bourgeois from St-Mich'. Dog eat dog à la française ? Well, not new I'm afraid, I worked a yr for the private sector in the 70's and that was tough even then. Obviously, there's more competition in the private sector worldwide now than 30 yrs ago, but the competitive element is no worse in France than elsewhere in the Western world, quite the contrary on many accounts I feel, should workers lose their job they're often rewarded with decent redundancy money + top dole money for 24 months. Not to mention better work protection (through legislation, militant unions, etc.) than in most countries, etc. so, if I were your French students I wouldn't feel too sorry for myself ! Anyway, who says French students are stuck in France ? Maybe they'll have a job getting their degree recognised elsewhere but the possibilities to get a proper foreign degree on the cheap-ish now are about 100 times better than they were 35 yrs ago. I never discourage students to go out there and study and work abroad, broadens your mind and you liver, and offers plenty more options professionally and sentimentally (pour causer poliment). I urge them to get out there, to avail themselves of the immense opportunities now offered to them everywhere, whether it's in their homeland or not, and I urge them to find their niche, not just be content to follow the herd into those dead-end degrees in piss-artistry that most inevitably lead to oversubscribed non-jobs. I often advise them to retrain if that's the case, to learn a proper skill, decoration, plastering, that sort of thing. Last yr, a ex-student of mine who'd done a no-hope degree some yrs ago did some plastering work for me, he could not find any decent work after his degree and had taken heed of my advice to re-train as a skilled worker down at the local college. I really don't buy into this perma-state of 'sinistrose' in France, whilst part of it is of course legitimate so much of it is blown out of all proportion by the media. It has ALWAYS been the case in France, for as long ago as I can remember, most of the media have always taken great delight in accentuating the negatives in society to the nth degree (problems of all sorts exist and might worsen but what about the myriad more options available now -especially for students- ?), they were saying exactly the same in the 70's, sometimes, I suspect they just re-vamp the same articles as in the 70's, slap a new date on and hey presto, job done. Critics have coined a term when talking about Houellebecq, they call him the writer of 'déprimisme' (mind, ça lui va bien). Don't fall in the same cauldron.

On Channel 4 tomorrow, 10 PM, in 'the man who faked his death', the truly incredible life of JC Romand which I will not relate here but is one of the most inimaginable life stories of last few decades in France. The film made on the story ('L'Adversaire'), after Romand went to prison (where he still is), was rather mediocre IMO but I liked the eponymous book (L'Adversaire', ISBN 2-86744-682-1) which is far more explicit and descriptive, much much better. Incidentally, this C4 psycho series is absolutely brilliant ! I loved last week's story (the fake IRA bloke who 'hypnotised' 3 people and enslaved them for 10 yrs -was given 'life' last week), a bit like Romand's story I suppose in the gigantic magnitude of the lie, and its unbelievable course, the way the relatively small lie of the beginning (pretending he'd passed his exam) was to become uncontrollable and... well, find out more tomorrow, should be a lot better than the botched up film.

Can't listen to Ruquier on Europe1 (too early for me), so could not answer you, but I don't think he's the sort to turn up late and show off on Ardisson's show, in fact, last saturday he was interviewed in a different room from the rest of the guests ! (probably to maximise publicity and underline his contempt of mere mortals). But don't miss him on Campus this coming thursday, if he is in the same sort of scintillating form as last saturday we could be in for a treat. I find his total frankness compelling to watch, like in this classic exchange from last saturday: Ardisson: 'Michel, there are 650 novels coming out at the same time this september [...], why is yours the most talked about ?' Houellebecq: 'well, having no time for false modesty my answer to yr question is that mine is the best one of the bunch' The rest (20 minutes ?) was of the same ilk.    

L'animal, well, nice article, you know how to cheer me up that's for sure, Houellebecq praised by the Raelians now, lol, excellent, had a good laugh ! sad thing is, I bet the perv' liked that, I mean the adoration from that this degenerate bunch of pungent yétis agités du gland, he probably lapped it up and all the rest of it. Next thing he'll have a sect of his own, all clones, straight from his lab, all half-female, half-tit, called names like Pippa, Fay-Latio and Gian-Ormeus Mammaries, as befit his obsessions and ambitions. He is the sort of murky creature who, if Dame nature would be kind enough to bequeath him a pair of large lolos to go with his bits and bobs, he'd never leave home. Modiano, well, what can I say, I like him a lot, but I understand yr reaction, maybe his parisianism clouds my judgement. Pérec and Cauvin are very different, the former was famous as a main proponent of the 'sociological novel' in the 60's (and brilliant at it), the latter just a damned good old-fashioned romancier offering his readers funny and refreshing stories most of the time. What French contemporary writers do you lot like/appreciate/know ?

Rue des boutiques obscures de Patrick Modiano   also the excellent    E = MC2, mon amour    de Patrick Cauvin             You might or might not take to Modiano's writing style, it's very much an acquired taste. Cauvin is more traditional, the above's his best novel. To answer yr Q about tax for writers in Ireland, I have no idea ! But to one jurnalist who asked him why Ireland ? Houellebecq replied 'car c'est le seul endroit où j'aime m'ennuyer'. Joli, non ? I mean, he is a genius in the way he manipulates the media and pulls the strings from his far-flung hideaways, you can't take that away from him, and his extreme 'candour' (if sometimes shocking) is something to behold, and so very rare these days, but he is overrated in my mind. Many critics view him as a bit of a pioneer, etc. and in a way he is I suppose, but to me that does not make him a great amongst the greats. Many critics also think of him as a complete fraud. Either way, he's certainly managing to get himself noticed, his legacy will leave on. Which no doubt is what he seeks. I am glad you like to watch the literary progs, the French spoken there I suppose is reasonably easy to understand for a non-native speaker with a good level of oral F; whether it's civilised or not I wouldn't say but I wish we had a few (mainstream ones) as well in the UK, this country is really crying out for at least 2 a week, c'est con, hein ?

Houellebecq, who else ? Was on Ardisson's show last night, not because Ardisson likes him but 'cause Houellebecq -France's most talked about author- hates the guts of Ardisson's main rival (M.O Fogiel on France3), which has obviously got him in Ardisson's good books ! Anyway, whilst I suppose I liked his Les particules élémentaires' novel, and whilst I find Houellebecq unheard-of candour and honesty 'refreshing' and frankly amazing, for want of more descriptive terms (in his demure style, he really has no time for political correctness and, as a direct result, lives in fear of his life, as a recluse, in Ireland and Spain), I cannot understand why he's been dubbed by many France's best author. I just don't understand the fuss about this man ! His style is pleasant but no great shakes compared to many other authors, and his works feels so old hat. Writers such as Pérec and Salinger expressed much the same feelings of 'impossibility' and rejection 40 yrs ago, with infinitely more talent, especially in Pérec's case. It is madness to present him as France's best contemporary writer, people like Modiano, Pennac or even Cauvin, to name but a few, are so much more enticing, warm and talented than him. 650 novels out in September in France, and all they can talk about is Houellebecq ! The man is clever, feigns not to be fussed by the agitation around him while orchestrating the whole circus show and quietly worshipping the attention (and the money, he is said to be extremely 'cupide' and 'vénal' -greedy- and to be 'offering' his time to the highest bidder). I suppose what annoys me the most is that the one name people at large will remember in 50 yrs time, in reference to French literature, is Houellebecq. I think that he will be on Campus (France2, late evening) next thursday.

If you ('you' as in French culture explorers, that is) have the chance, you must watch the Les Inconnus act on 'la chasse' (hunting), would be found on one of Les Inconnus DVD's, it was a spoof from a popular Canal Plus prog called '24 heures' (that no longer exist I think) that used to show us in detail 24 hrs in the life of somebody in a given profession/corporation/sport/hobby/group, etc. About 15 yrs ago or so, Les Inconnus (a famous comedy trio) produced a series of spoofs on that programme and the one I'm referring to ('24 hrs in the life of a group of hunters') was arguably the funniest one, alongside the one on 'La police' which was frankly hilarious (not to forget the one on 'teachers', a génialissime piss-take of the union-worshipping, beleaguered, shirking French teacher). It does require near-native command of French (well, at certain times more than others), also a few cultural pointers needed (that yr French friends might want to provide) but Les Inconnus' acts are in part fairly visual and with the DVD subtitles it should be OK for someone with a good to v. good command of French. Well worth borrowing from friends or from yr local Médiathèque, or buying from Amazon, it'll give you a valuable insight into French culture and humour, not high brow or tortuous, just plain 'culture populaire', semi-slapstick and subtle at the same time. I'm not quite sure what Les Inconnus are up to now but they were very popular in the 80's and 90's, did a few successful comedies and 2 or 3 songs caricaturing (gently) social stereotypes, such as Parisian bourgeois or inner-city kids.  

Your cryptic ways have reminded me of the now famous Hugo episod with his publisher, as quoted below: In ”Guinness book of world records” the worlds shortest correspondance is quoted. In 1862 the French writer Victor Hugo went to his summerhouse in the countryside, exhausted after finishing his novel ”Les Miserables”. After a few weeks of not knowing if the book had been released, if it sold and what the critics thought of it, he couldn´t control his curiosity, so he wrote a letter to his publisher. The letter only consisted of: ? The publishers answer a few days later read: !  

Lovers of French cinema and French culture worldwide will have no doubt shedded a tear or two, as I did yesterday, on hearing of the death of one of Paris's most adored sons, the actor André Pousse. Oh, sure, he was no modern, gobshitey 'mégastar' (not for him the limelights and the ostentatious trappings of an illusory fame and wealth), but he doesn't half deserve his place in the mythical Pantheon of Great Parisians, that's for sure. He was also, very sadly, the last surviving 'trublion' of 'La Bande à Audiard' (legendary dialogue writer of, among many others, classic French films 'le cave se rebiffe', 'les tontons flingueurs', etc.), that extraordinary bunch of actors, writers and miscreants amongst whom the gloriously funny and hugely talented Parisian writer Alphonse Boudard as well as the unique, irreplaceable actors Jean Gabin, Bernard Blier, Lino Ventura and Jean Lefèvre were the most prominent in the public eye. With André Pousse's death, it is no exaggeration to say that a whole era of French cinema is now officially closed, even if some self-appointed 'expert' on telly might argue that he was but a 'second rôle' (translate: a 'minor actor' in their eyes), but we'll leave these silly classifications to those who specialise in compulsive nonsensical pigeon-holing. To me, and I had the privilege to meet him a couple of times in the resto he used to have down in Balard, he will remain as Dédé la verve, ex professional cyclist, ex faux gangster, ex everything under the sun, without whom the classic French films 'ne nous fâchons pas', 'quelques messieurs bien tranquilles' and 'le pacha' would not have gained such a legendary status. I'll finish with what Audiard said to André Pousse (who had met Audiard -a cycling lover- in the Vélodrome in Paris) when the latter asked him why, suddenly, he (Audiard, a then hugely famous screen writer) decided to give him, the totally unknown André Pousse, aged 44 and a complete acting novice, a relatively important role. Audiard said: 'Simplement, Dédé, parce que t'as une gueule de mandat d'arrêt' (approx. translation = 'well, because you've got the face of a warrant of arrest'). For more info on A. Pousse and the above mentioned legends of French culture, as well as plenty of info and pictures on that fabled era, go to http://andrepousse.free.fr/

Chardie, can think of 2 websites to help you with Officialdom: 1) http://www.askoxford.com/languages/fr/french_letters/?view=uk and the indispensable 2) www.liensutiles.org/languefranc.htm the latter (2) has 100's of links/hyperlinks, so don't panic click on ECRIVAIN PUBLIC VIRTUEL and then have a look at SERVICES DE RENSEIGNEMENTS ADMINISTRATIFS (100's of models and templates to follow) Do not send an email, send a letter en recommandé avec accusé de réception  and  follow it up with phone call (ask friend to phone if you can't), whether it's vital/urgent/important/not important, etc. is beside the point: you want him/her to do more than notice it and quickly forget it if s/he is that way inclined. Remember: they get 100's of letters, emails, queries, directives and what-have-yous a day, make yours noticed !     

There's a half-hour long prog on Brits in France in 45 minutes on TF1. But you know M, there are plenty of articles, progs and testimonies out there rejoicing of British presence in France, I hear a lot of positive comments when I go to Normandy or the Loire Valley. But as usual, the negative, sensationalist comments/progs linger in people's memories far longer.

I'm ready, have got my anorak on, ready to witness our first explosive orgasm online on discovering this site (la Tourangelle's). Quoique is NOT archaic is spoken or written French. Did you pick that up on that site (languefrancaise.net). If so, well, feel free to chide them and correct their French ! 

of French). www.languefrancaise.net/forum I hesitated a while before recommending this site as it is dynamite stuff. For the terminally addicted & associated Grammanoraks ONLY. Proceed with extreme care.

You cracked me up with yr Babelfishing, I really had a good laugh with the last rendition; well Debra, you asked what it was about, well it was a quick aperçu of the fictitious Vraititi Bar and the louche activities that go on in there with shocking impunity, the banter and generous portions served to the financially-challenged, all for the price of a smile, and all in a mixture of Parisian and French slang. But tell me, are you into plain French/colloquial French/slang ? What's yr poison ? You know, this free translation site lark, it's only useful occasionally to get the gist of a simple text, such as ''Noddy aime acheter des bonbons avec son argent de poche'', it cannot translate as such and even the best ones do not store any colloquial terms. They only enable people to have a basic understanding of a text, but are jolly good fun to play with, don't you think ?

Ben ouais mes cocottes, Chez Vraititi on est pas chez Pivot, on fait pas dans le soigné et le sur-mesure, plutôt dans le jargot et le métaplasme. Chez Vraititi ça cause cru, bien saignant et si t'es pas bégueule ça dépote au quart de tour et quand on tient l' crachoir, ça s'exclaffe mais ça s'gausse pas. Allez, venez tailler une bavette chez Vraititi, y'a pas d'censure et de chichis, te casse pas si t'es à sec, si t'as pas d'artiche pour pitancher ou casser la graine on t'arrangera ça. Allez Santé, mais pas des pieds. Could you Babelfish that Debra ? Ta

Putaing, j'en ai ma claque de ce poster d'Hotel du Nord stalking us, why did I start this foutue thread, hein ? Ben ouais, j'vais pas faire le *** (le cru ? le cad ? le dur ? le ouf ? -which one ?). I should be able from time to time to winch myself out of this teaching quagmire business to unwind a bit and post on here, quoique, j'sais pas trop qui ça peut intéresser encore mes divagations par les temps qui courrent. Trouble is I've taken on too much this coming year, it might be my last year of proper work or thereabouts and I need all the dosh I can get if I want to live in Paname in the future; putaing, les prix ont pris un coup de chauffe par la-bas je te dis pas, va falloir s'exiler en banlieue bientôt merde, enfin j'exagère, on est pas des sauvages tout de même. Bon eh, j'rigole hein, attention, pas mal de banlieues sont très bien, mais bon pour un titi de Menilmuche c'est hardos à admettre quoi, ça fait pas sérieux quoi. Mieux vaut s'exiler au fin fond du Morvan, l'avantage c'est que tout le monde croit que t'es mort.

What's happening with Stade Rennais ? J'en sais foutre rien mon bon ami ! I listen to practically all the football programmes on Europe1 and RMC with Saccomano (the monday evening ones are excellent) and they don't seem to know either (although, admittedly, they're not that bothered about Rennes !) ! they have kept practically the same team as last year, etc. so it's a bit of a mystery; there seems to be a bit of a problem with Frei though, maybe he should stop shooting from the lip to all and sundry (have you ever come across a MORE miserable player before ? -I'd be interested to know who then !!!) and start shooting proper, no wonder nobody wanted him this year in spite of his top goal scoring ability ! He seems to be a right liability this Frei, but I'm afraid I'm not really into Breton football, maybe Guinguamp though, they deserve special praise. Nantes ? well, too plagued by feuds recently to be interesting, the fabled 'jeu à la nantaise' is but a long memory now. Went to the old Saupin stadium many times, good atmosphere back then (70's) though, never been to La Beaujoire. Never been to Rennes either. Rennes need to wake up before their first ever Euro game next week, could be their last one in a long time. Is Pinault still bankrolling them ? and if they go through, maybe you should ask your coiffeur for a free perm or something, bet they'll be in a mood to celebrate what is going to be a very rare moment of joy this year...

Too right MWJ, bleudy unlucky, and just for our 35th birthday, and just when Ginola was visiting (rarely visits le Parc these days, hopes he stays home from now on), bah, we'll still be kicking ass 'grave' this year, Top 3  I say, probably 2nd. On another note, did you watch that freak Marseille-La Corogne game last week on French TV (3 players sent off, 14 cards, 1-1 at H/T, 5-1 at the end, etc.), what a cracker ! Debra, those words fell off the back of a van but it's all legit Guv', promise !

Quai des brumes, Le (1938) Directed by Marcel Carné Writing credits Jacques Prévert (scenario and dialogue) Pierre Dumarchais (novel)  (more) Add to MyMoviesIMDbPro Professional Details Genre: Drama (more)   No-one cares ? Must admit, the thought did cross my mind, but nah, can't be that surely, must be my online teaching persona that users find a turn-off. So, L'Animal, with your special touch, I hereby appoint you Culture Supremo and La Tourangelle will be Grammar Marshal in my absence bicoz as of next Monday I'll be back to work pretty much FT (as I've taken on more work this yr) and just won't have time to post on here. Et ouais, 'Quai des Brumes', mon favori, le chef d'oeuvre, comment oublier les dialogues de Prévert ? Comment oublier Gabin et Morgan ? Bien joué L'Animal, amuse-toi bien pendant mon absence, et déconne pas hein, I want them exam-ready by the time I come back next July !  

Bah, j' déconnais, Le Pied c'est bonnard et Montpar ça a pas pris une ride, quand j' déambule par la-bas j'vais souvent écluser un gorgeon chez mon vieux compagnon de déroute Djamel qui tient un bistroquet dans le coin, alors quel dancing tu conseillerais à une vieille carcasse de bouc comme moi ?

Nom d'un foie de morue, mais ils se rebellent les zouaves ! My sentence's changed ? Well that hasn't stopped you indécrottable lot from NOT doing it ! et Silence dans les rangs quand je m'étrangle ! Seeing as you lot love pre-war French cinema, and since we've visibly have had lots of success with our Hôtel du Nord (see how it multiplied !), the long-awaited sequel now: however good and famous and blah di blah, the film Hôtel du Nord is NOT considered the best pre-war Carné film though, which (classic) film can legitimately claim that distinction ? Bon, I suppose I'll have to give you 'till tomorrow morning for this one, granted but no messing about !

Mais qu'est-ce que c'est qu' ce foutoir dans cette classe ! It's Anarchy now ! I've got one who hides behind radiators (what have you done to that radiator anyway? it's pissing water now) but pretends he was never here, got one who thinks it's dead funny (n'est-ce pas M. Russet ?), got another one whose sole contribution is to tell me that I am an iceberg (yes, you Mr Ray, I heard you distinctly. What ? You said I was a 'nice borg', and what does that mean exactly Mr Ray a 'nice Borg' ? Nothing yes, that's what I thought), another one who moans that she can only do Grammar or Syntax or what have you (Life is not a bed of Proses, Miss Tourangelle), another derangée who seemingly cannot contain her urges, and my best pupil now (who should be in the TETARD section anyway !) who thinks she is a cat ! Well, you gonna have a shock if that's how you've decided to start your final Year here ! For starters, all priviledges abolished ! L'Animal, you come back with this group NOW, it won't bring back more discipline or common sense but maybe, maybe will help to raise the appalling general level. We'll have a big mixed-ability group instead, tant pis, some will benefit, you'll just have to show solidarity bon sang ! Let's go back to the simple translation task that NO-ONE's bothered to do ! The sentence to translate was: Eh ben, avec vous, sûr que y'a du pain sur la planche ! Cette année, c'est pas gagné ! And you haven't got all day hein ! I want that fini by 4 PM

Meant to have a go at you all but not to post that 4 times... somehow my cursor (?) (= the vertical bar) disappeared for a few minutes after some dodgy manipulations, then reappered, I fiddled with it (yes, it's all leggit Guv'), pointed it at the POST REPLY button, then nothing happened, then... anyway, very boring, the bottomline is: I want these translations posted on the Board by Tomorrow 10 AM !