bryansmith Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 Valanother good read - please keep on writing it is thoroughly enjoyablethanks again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moon Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 Could we just limit val to this topic.....i am sick of finding "new messages posted" email alerts only to find thank you notes and not the next chapter.Boband yes I know I have just added more junk to this thread............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayB Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 [quote]Could we just limit val to this topic.....i am sick of finding "new messages posted" email alerts only to find thank you notes and not the next chapter.Boband yes I know I have just added more junk to...[/quote]You would begrudge Val her well-deserved Kudos? How selfish! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musicmonkey<ADDRESS><STRONG>Musicmonkey<STRONG><ADDRESS> Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 Could we just limit val to this topic.....i am sick of finding "new messages posted" email alerts only to find thank you notes and not the next chapter.Boband yes I know I have just added more junk to this thread.............And now me too!But I have a suggestion. If Val starts each new chapter as a new post marked with the chapter number we will all know where we are. We can then post feedback without concern but will know not to expect more from Val in that particular post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moon Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 [quote]You would begrudge Val her well-deserved Kudos? How selfish![/quote]Certainly not Ray. But whilst waiting for the next instalment I've had about 20 false starts..BobNow make that 21 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayB Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 [quote]Certainly not Ray. But whilst waiting for the next instalment I've had about 20 false starts..BobNow make that 21[/quote]No. 22Life can be cruel, Bob! (g) Hang loose! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesbatees Posted May 14, 2005 Author Share Posted May 14, 2005 .... afraid it's not Chapter 4. I just wanted to apologise for the delay - caused by seven days in a French hospital at the mercy of a very nice, very charming surgeon, and French hospital catering (neither nice nor charming). I am in the process of writing Chapter 4, and hope to post it by the end of next week - promise.Thanks again to everyone for the positive comments. It really boosted me when I got back from hospital and logged on to find them.Val Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayB Posted May 14, 2005 Share Posted May 14, 2005 [quote].... afraid it's not Chapter 4. I just wanted to apologise for the delay - caused by seven days in a French hospital at the mercy of a very nice, very charming surgeon, and French hospital catering (...[/quote]**Thanks again to everyone for the positive comments. It really boosted me when I got back from hospital and logged on to find them.**Well deserved, Val, get well soon.Bon courage! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musicmonkey<ADDRESS><STRONG>Musicmonkey<STRONG><ADDRESS> Posted May 14, 2005 Share Posted May 14, 2005 I am in the process of writing Chapter 4, and hope to post it by the end of next week - promise.But Val, will you put it in a new posting on its own so that we can know where to find it straight away? ........please! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loopy Lou Posted May 19, 2005 Share Posted May 19, 2005 Sorry, Bob, another false start!Val, a whole 7 days in hospital sounds serious. I hope you are getting better quickly. I am sure your stay there will be grist to the mill for another chapter in your fantastic book.Bon courage,Loopy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bryansmith Posted May 19, 2005 Share Posted May 19, 2005 Valsorry to hear about your illness - hope you are recovering now and able to continue the saga I have enjoyed so far Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesbatees Posted May 23, 2005 Author Share Posted May 23, 2005 Here it is folks. Sorry for the delay. Our phone line got fried by a thunderstorm, and we've only just got back on line.Val5. Not in Kansas anymore I’ve heard other people say that the first weeks after moving are like being on holiday. It’s never felt that way to me. To feel “on holiday” you have to have somewhere where you feel “at home” first. All places feel pretty much alike - just somewhere I’m passing through for a bit. It’s the little things that make life so difficult at the beginning, like posting a letter or getting rid of the rubbish. Singapore was the best for that, as we had an enormous flat in a posh high-rise with hot and cold running servants. Drove Mum mad, while the rest of us were secretly delighted. We didn’t have to lift a finger to do the unpacking or try and work out what to do with the debris afterwards. We were on our own in the States, but at least the neighbours were friendly, and they spoke English – well, sort of, anyway. Here the neighbours might as well have been on the moon, as communicating with them was not so much difficult, as downright impossible. Never mind the language problem, the “dog people”, as we came to call them, were so low profile they were practically invisible. If it weren’t for the bloody dogs barking morning, noon and night it would have seemed as if the house opposite was empty. When it came to dealing with the everyday realities of life, big or small, we were on our own. So, it was out with the self-help books, of which Mum had amassed a whole shelf-full. The trouble with self-help books is that they’re not much bloody help. You look up something, and they all say different things. Then the information turns out to be out of date, or incomplete, or both. Plus, bureaucrats in different regions of France do things differently. Oh, and don’t forget that you’re trying to deal with all this in a foreign language. To say the first few weeks were difficult is an understatement. We reached the low point at the end of week one, when Mum came home from a trip to Chalon to try and get the phone connected, burst into tears, and announced she wanted to go home. The row that followed reached Force 10 on the Richter scale of Mum and Dad’s rows, the main theme being, “… if you’d actually tried to learn a bit of French before we left England, Tom …” and variations thereof. Dad sulked for three days, then started looking round for someone to teach him. Getting anything done in France involves a great deal of paper. Lots and lots of bits of paper. By the end of week three the room Dad had appropriated as an office looked like an explosion in a paper factory. There was the pile to do with getting our residence permits, the pile to do with re-registering the car, the pile to do with Will and Toby’s schools, the pile to do with setting up a business - it was endless. And the paperwork is only the beginning … Dad said he’d read that 25% of the French population is employed in the civil service. By the end of week four he’d worked up a promising rant on that very subject. Everything they wanted to do seemed to involve visiting some bureaucrat in an office somewhere, and those “somewheres” were all in different towns miles away. They spent days at a time driving from place to place, delivering bits of paper, being told they hadn’t quite got the all the right bits of paper, getting the right bits of paper, and then going back to the same office. This process had to be repeated over and over again until they finally hit the magic combination of bits of paper and helpful bureaucrat. In this manner weeks five and six slipped by before we’d even noticed. And guess who ended up babysitting Toby while all this was going on? By week seven I was ready to throttle the little sod. There were some radical differences on the home front, too. In the past, no matter where we’d moved to, life at Chez Bennett followed the same old predictable pattern. Dad disappeared early and returned late, Mum faffed around the house and obsessed over Toby, while Will and me did our own thing and tried to avoid being press-ganged into Mum’s idea of “family activities” by keeping a low profile at weekends. As the weeks rolled by it gradually began to dawn on both of us that things were going to be mighty different from now on. For a start Dad was around all the time now. Which meant he actually noticed what was going on. Which meant he realised just how little we did to help around the house. Which meant he started assigning us chores. Oh joy, oh rapture. More sharing options... Renaud Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 Thanks Val.Gus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Loopy Lou Posted May 24, 2005 Share Posted May 24, 2005 Oh my goodness, oh my goodness! The dreaded Grandmere! Whatever next............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Renaud Posted May 30, 2005 Share Posted May 30, 2005 Charles Dickens wrote some of his stories, not initially as novels but as serials in periodicals.As the ship carrying the recently published magazine came in from London, crowds in New York would line the docks, calling out to the sailors "What has happened to Little Dorit"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Tourangelle Posted June 5, 2005 Share Posted June 5, 2005 I keep looking out for the next part: Val please post it soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... vervialle Posted June 7, 2005 Share Posted June 7, 2005 Really enjoyed your writing so far ,perhaps living France will pick it up for a serial, cannot wait for the next posting, poor wil , I hope he progresses. Good Luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Lesbatees Posted June 8, 2005 Author Share Posted June 8, 2005 Here's a sneak preview of the next chapter, which will be up by the beginning of next week - promise.6. My family and other animals Of all the many phrases I can think of to describe Gran, “evil old bag” is probably the mildest. Given this, I’m sure you’ll understand the prospect of a visit from the old harridan is hardly going to be cause for great rejoicing in the Bennett household ... Ooo-er. Watch this space. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Lesbatees Posted June 12, 2005 Author Share Posted June 12, 2005 6. My family and other animals Of all the many phrases I can think of to describe Gran, “evil old bag” is probably the mildest. Given this, I’m sure you’ll understand the prospect of a grandmotherly visit is hardly going to be cause for great rejoicing in the Bennett household. Other people’s grandmothers are cake-baking, quilt-making members of the WI, always ready with some homely advice in moments of emotional crisis. Mine’s a gin-swilling, bridge-playing, high-maintenance old harridan, who despises the WI and wouldn’t know a piece of homely advice if it came up and introduced itself. Gran’s hobbies are spending money, terrorising my mother and rubbishing my father, in that order. I’ve often wondered why Mum doesn’t just tell her to get lost. I suppose it’s because since Grandad died Gran is quite simply the only family she’s got left. It was obvious before she even got off the plane at Lyon that this visit was going to be particularly bad. The previous few weeks had seen Mum take numerous phone calls as Gran made her travel arrangements, un-made her travel arrangements and re-arranged her travel arrangements. Each phone call was more tense than the last. Will and me had a bet on as to how long it would take before Mum burst into tears. I won. Dad rolled his eyes in exasperation as with two days to go to G-Day Mum went into a frenzy of cleaning while bemoaning the state of the wallpaper in what had become our guest bedroom. “Mel, your mother is coming to see you and the kids, not the wallpaper.” “That’s not the point,” Mum replied tartly. “I just know what’ll happen when she sees the state of it.” “Then she can go straight back home, can’t she?” Dad muttered as he turned away. “What did you say?” That row lasted until we went to pick Gran up at the airport. What worried me was the lack of places to go shopping. From painful experience, I knew only too well that Gran wouldn’t just sit around kicking her heels in semi-rural France. If there was nowhere for her to exercise her credit cards she’d get bored and start causing trouble. And when Gran causes trouble you can be sure it will be with a capital T. The ride home from Lyon wasn’t too bad, as Gran was preoccupied with recounting the row she’d had with the baggage reclaim staff about an allegedly damaged suitcase, and bemoaning French rudeness. This was rich, as my grandmother is one of those people who thinks that all you have to do to communicate with foreigners is shout at them very loudly in English. This rant kept her safely occupied until we got home. She was still chuntering away all though a nice cup of tea and the introduction to her room, so the wallpaper was spared comment – for the moment, anyway. What started her off was the bathroom. Emerging from her pre-dinner soak (two and a half hours, a personal best for Gran, Will reckoned) she buttonholed Mum, who was frantically zooming around the “kitchen”, trying to concoct an elaborate four-course dinner with only me and the trusty camping stove in support. Will had wisely made himself scarce, and Dad had taken Toby off to play in the garden. “You’re definitely going to have to do something about the plumbing, Melanie. Hardly up to luxury standard, is it?” This was typical Gran. Mum and Dad had spent ages showing her around the house and explaining what they intended to do with it – including a thorough revamp of the plumbing. It was obvious she hadn’t listened to a word. I saw Mum draw breath for a tart reply and then think better of it. “Yes, Mother, I’m sure you’re right. Dinner’ll be about half an hour. Lizzie, could you get your grandmother a drink, please?” That was just the start of it. Throughout what seemed an interminable dinner we were treated to Gran’s opinions on the house, the area, the neighbours and their dogs, interior decoration, Mum’s shortcomings as a cook – the list was endless. Mum got more and more defensive, Dad got drunk and started to argue back, Toby was packed off to bed and Will and me beat a hasty retreat to the sanctuary of my Ja Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... steve@sarah Posted June 12, 2005 Share Posted June 12, 2005 Oh my god! The mother in law from hell!What a laugh, more please!Sarah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Tourangelle Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 It's great Val, I'm really enjoying it, but when is Lizzie going to get a move on and do something??!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Lesbatees Posted June 16, 2005 Author Share Posted June 16, 2005 [quote]It's great Val, I'm really enjoying it, but when is Lizzie going to get a move on and do something??!![/quote]Ah, that would be telling now, wouldn't it (evil grin).The Author Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... bryansmith Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 Hi Valjust got back to UK from a month in France(without internet) and caught up on two chapters.Most enjoyable and really funny. Please keep up the good work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... just john Posted June 24, 2005 Share Posted June 24, 2005 Don't stop me now! Stop mucking about! give us the rest of it! 8-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... 1 month later... Tootles60 Posted July 27, 2005 Share Posted July 27, 2005 Please,please,please..... can we have some more.............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... 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Renaud Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 Thanks Val.Gus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loopy Lou Posted May 24, 2005 Share Posted May 24, 2005 Oh my goodness, oh my goodness! The dreaded Grandmere! Whatever next............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renaud Posted May 30, 2005 Share Posted May 30, 2005 Charles Dickens wrote some of his stories, not initially as novels but as serials in periodicals.As the ship carrying the recently published magazine came in from London, crowds in New York would line the docks, calling out to the sailors "What has happened to Little Dorit"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tourangelle Posted June 5, 2005 Share Posted June 5, 2005 I keep looking out for the next part: Val please post it soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vervialle Posted June 7, 2005 Share Posted June 7, 2005 Really enjoyed your writing so far ,perhaps living France will pick it up for a serial, cannot wait for the next posting, poor wil , I hope he progresses. Good Luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesbatees Posted June 8, 2005 Author Share Posted June 8, 2005 Here's a sneak preview of the next chapter, which will be up by the beginning of next week - promise.6. My family and other animals Of all the many phrases I can think of to describe Gran, “evil old bag” is probably the mildest. Given this, I’m sure you’ll understand the prospect of a visit from the old harridan is hardly going to be cause for great rejoicing in the Bennett household ... Ooo-er. Watch this space. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesbatees Posted June 12, 2005 Author Share Posted June 12, 2005 6. My family and other animals Of all the many phrases I can think of to describe Gran, “evil old bag” is probably the mildest. Given this, I’m sure you’ll understand the prospect of a grandmotherly visit is hardly going to be cause for great rejoicing in the Bennett household. Other people’s grandmothers are cake-baking, quilt-making members of the WI, always ready with some homely advice in moments of emotional crisis. Mine’s a gin-swilling, bridge-playing, high-maintenance old harridan, who despises the WI and wouldn’t know a piece of homely advice if it came up and introduced itself. Gran’s hobbies are spending money, terrorising my mother and rubbishing my father, in that order. I’ve often wondered why Mum doesn’t just tell her to get lost. I suppose it’s because since Grandad died Gran is quite simply the only family she’s got left. It was obvious before she even got off the plane at Lyon that this visit was going to be particularly bad. The previous few weeks had seen Mum take numerous phone calls as Gran made her travel arrangements, un-made her travel arrangements and re-arranged her travel arrangements. Each phone call was more tense than the last. Will and me had a bet on as to how long it would take before Mum burst into tears. I won. Dad rolled his eyes in exasperation as with two days to go to G-Day Mum went into a frenzy of cleaning while bemoaning the state of the wallpaper in what had become our guest bedroom. “Mel, your mother is coming to see you and the kids, not the wallpaper.” “That’s not the point,” Mum replied tartly. “I just know what’ll happen when she sees the state of it.” “Then she can go straight back home, can’t she?” Dad muttered as he turned away. “What did you say?” That row lasted until we went to pick Gran up at the airport. What worried me was the lack of places to go shopping. From painful experience, I knew only too well that Gran wouldn’t just sit around kicking her heels in semi-rural France. If there was nowhere for her to exercise her credit cards she’d get bored and start causing trouble. And when Gran causes trouble you can be sure it will be with a capital T. The ride home from Lyon wasn’t too bad, as Gran was preoccupied with recounting the row she’d had with the baggage reclaim staff about an allegedly damaged suitcase, and bemoaning French rudeness. This was rich, as my grandmother is one of those people who thinks that all you have to do to communicate with foreigners is shout at them very loudly in English. This rant kept her safely occupied until we got home. She was still chuntering away all though a nice cup of tea and the introduction to her room, so the wallpaper was spared comment – for the moment, anyway. What started her off was the bathroom. Emerging from her pre-dinner soak (two and a half hours, a personal best for Gran, Will reckoned) she buttonholed Mum, who was frantically zooming around the “kitchen”, trying to concoct an elaborate four-course dinner with only me and the trusty camping stove in support. Will had wisely made himself scarce, and Dad had taken Toby off to play in the garden. “You’re definitely going to have to do something about the plumbing, Melanie. Hardly up to luxury standard, is it?” This was typical Gran. Mum and Dad had spent ages showing her around the house and explaining what they intended to do with it – including a thorough revamp of the plumbing. It was obvious she hadn’t listened to a word. I saw Mum draw breath for a tart reply and then think better of it. “Yes, Mother, I’m sure you’re right. Dinner’ll be about half an hour. Lizzie, could you get your grandmother a drink, please?” That was just the start of it. Throughout what seemed an interminable dinner we were treated to Gran’s opinions on the house, the area, the neighbours and their dogs, interior decoration, Mum’s shortcomings as a cook – the list was endless. Mum got more and more defensive, Dad got drunk and started to argue back, Toby was packed off to bed and Will and me beat a hasty retreat to the sanctuary of my Ja Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve@sarah Posted June 12, 2005 Share Posted June 12, 2005 Oh my god! The mother in law from hell!What a laugh, more please!Sarah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tourangelle Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 It's great Val, I'm really enjoying it, but when is Lizzie going to get a move on and do something??!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesbatees Posted June 16, 2005 Author Share Posted June 16, 2005 [quote]It's great Val, I'm really enjoying it, but when is Lizzie going to get a move on and do something??!![/quote]Ah, that would be telling now, wouldn't it (evil grin).The Author Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bryansmith Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 Hi Valjust got back to UK from a month in France(without internet) and caught up on two chapters.Most enjoyable and really funny. Please keep up the good work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just john Posted June 24, 2005 Share Posted June 24, 2005 Don't stop me now! Stop mucking about! give us the rest of it! 8-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tootles60 Posted July 27, 2005 Share Posted July 27, 2005 Please,please,please..... can we have some more.............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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