cowoman Posted April 10, 2008 Share Posted April 10, 2008 was very modest too considering his age.It was a well known fact that he had been around the block a few times but he wore his experiences well!Suddenly there was a huge skidding noise and one by one the cyclists skidded off there bikes into the path of Mme Mercier.Lance Dooder was injured,and needed urgent attention.He lay on the floor motionless except for his thunder thighs that were twitching uncontrollably.His shorts were in tatters and were showing more than his mother would have liked him to be showing.If she had been there, then she would of thrown her entire body over his to cover up his misdemeaner .Mme Mercier looked at her husband for guidance but he usually fainted at the sight of......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just john Posted April 10, 2008 Share Posted April 10, 2008 her lying prostrate, without hesitating she threw her entire body over lance, she had heard John say you're only as old as the woman you feel, sauce for the jars was good enough for her. . .[8-|] ooops! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
britgirl Posted April 10, 2008 Share Posted April 10, 2008 Her eyes glazed over and she licked her lips in anticipation. Then she frowned. What is the best sauce for roast goose?........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just john Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 By this time Lance had come too, rolled on to his side, leapt to his feet, and said 'keep it simple with juniper sauce and apple and lemon puree Nigel Slater, Now, where was I, I remember, my bike . . .[8-|] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 .... on the Tour de France in the Pyrenees, wearing a yellow jumper but not for long because he was no longer the leader of the pack . John jumped on his Claude Butler bike bought from Overbury's Bike Shop in Ashley Down and rode off to ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cowoman Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 everyones horror.He had a puncture in his back tyre and hadnt even noticed.Poor John!!! he didn't get as far as he would have liked even though he had got his leg over.....He had wanted to do it for so long and now with his frustration finally leaving him.he rode off but was stopped in his tracks by the bump bump bump of......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oliveau Posted April 20, 2008 Author Share Posted April 20, 2008 ....Mlle Lafarge being entertained in the organ loft by Father Jacques.At the other end of the village Enid Truscott was ............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just john Posted May 1, 2008 Share Posted May 1, 2008 was no longer feeling depressed, Claude the swarthy young blacksmith had said to her, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, totally dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If it ever happens, just pull the plug.' She had got up, unplugged the TV, and threw out his wine,[8-|] there was only one thing left for him to do now . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frenchie Posted May 1, 2008 Share Posted May 1, 2008 tell her on bended knees " please forgive me ; I was a fool .............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrCanary Posted May 1, 2008 Share Posted May 1, 2008 .... But she would hear none of it. Waving a kitchen knife in the air, she shouted, "Did you not realise I was married before? Would it bother you if I told you my name used to be Lorraine Bobbit?" Suddenly he regretted being on the floor in front of her....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thebiga Posted May 12, 2008 Share Posted May 12, 2008 ...And with a quick 'Swish' of the knife it was gone forever. He got up looked in the mirror and realised that he now looked a little like someone called 'Vincent' that used to paint sunflowers... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cowoman Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 Lorraine had fainted at the sight of the blood bellowing from poor Claudes body.But on coming round was in a state of shock and remorse.She had trained as a nurse in a previous life and her first reaction was to lay poor Claude in the recovery position.She searched in her first aid box that was tacked on the bathroom wall.The only plaster that she could find was a small corn plaster.She wondered if this would fit and decided that it might now that she had performed some swift reducing surgery.As she took the backing off the plaster she looked at poor Claudes face and................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just john Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 he said, ''I really think you should sit on the naughty step, Mais bon sang! you had a lovely day but you've spoilt everything. I shan't let you play with that again believe me, and you'll be the one who'll miss it most! just who will ever let you play with them again? you have some serious issues you must address young lady! Delicately Claude positioned a pad from Lorraines handbag, as he had seen her do on more occasions than he cared to remember, collected his personal posessions and with as much imperturbabilité as he could muster, got a lovely nursey at A&E to sew it back on for him; afterwards she made him a nice cup of thé. He thought tonight he would go straight to the bar without calling on Lorraine, just to make it clear to her how cross she had made him, he got up to leave and nursey said . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cowoman Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 "that thing will not heal overnight.Why dont I move in with you to nurse it back into shape".Claude didn't realise that it would need some hands on work and the nurse seemed soo dedicated and good at her job.He thought he had nothing to lose so he Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
britgirl Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 'You must always look after your extremities! To have an extra appendage is not good. It may make you even more deaf.Remember that salt water... ' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cowoman Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 is a good healer but make sure you dont over do the daily salt washes because it can dry things up it could dry it up sooo much it might even shrivle up....or worse drop off.Claude was horrified just when he thought all his troubles were behind him,His life was turning into a disaster area and he watched in astonisment as he realised he had no control over his.............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrCanary Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 ...pension now that he was getting just one euro for one pound. "Enough," he said, "No more, for 'tis not as sweet now as... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just john Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 as a tryst with Tacky Jacqui was before premium rates[6] . . . can flesh and blood be expected to save the world with only. . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 ... the fact that threads can die on the Forum and then suddenly be resurrected, which brought a smile to the face of Jacqui and all the people who frequent the Forum. However, it is a well known that expense claims can be ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LEO Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 massaged , to give extra......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mint Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 glow and a feeling of wellbeing to those parts of the anatomy that...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krusty Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 dangle free in the wind Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LEO Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 and excessive wind ,especially when she bent over... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mint Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 and expose all her nether regions to the fresh air of the French countryside in order to....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ViVienne Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 blow away all of the cobwebs that had accumalated there since.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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