Good Mother?

[richard51]

How would you define a good mother?

Someone who gives the son/daughter the ability to progress in life?

Someone who gives lots of dosh to their offspring?

Someone who revels in their kids success?

Someone who stays with their kids through thick and thin?

Someone who sits in a car and lets their pissed-up ex-alcoholic son drive??????

Money doesn't solve all problems.

Ooops - not the lighter side!!

[woolybanana]

But it certainly helps.

He aint an EX-alcoholic by the sound of things.

[andyh4]

Glad to see that you have a good grasp of alcoholism, its symptoms and its cures Richard.

And at the same time why not vilify an innocent woman?

[richard51]

I would certainly not allow myself to be in a car driven by somebody under the influence. The starred out word was pi**ed btw.

I'm not sure how my understanding of symptoms and cures of alcoholism can be got from the post or, indeed, what it has to do with the post.

She was in the car - he was driving. Period.

[andyh4]

Having worked in an industry where for safety reasons having workers who were under the influence - even residual influence - could not be allowed, and in a country where it was estimated that 10% of the population were addicted to alcohol to a greater or lesser extent (and I think the UK and France are probably broadly similar) we underwent some training in alcohol dependency and alcoholism.

So a few insights, if I may.

Firstly there is no such thing as an ex-alcoholic. You can be an alcoholic on the wagon but there is no cure for alcoholism if you do develop the disease. The only thing you can do is abstain. If you take just one drink (to show you can control it) you will not be able to stop until you effectively pass out or the alcohol runs out.

There is no one size fits all behaviour of alcoholics, but many share common symptoms/behaviours.

Once identified as alcoholic, rather than just someone who drinks a lot (but can handle it), they tend to drink in secret. They also tend to favour white spirits so that there is no/little trace on their breath. [His mother may well not have known that he had been drinking.]

Their bodies build up a greater and greater tolerance to alcohol. They can drink quantities that would put mere mortal drinkers into a stupor.

Because the body builds up a tolerance it also tends to respond later to the classic signal of a "drop too much" - slurred speech, unsteady movements, dilated pupils etc.. However when the body does start to show these signs, because the levels of alcohol are so high in the blood, the victim can change from near normal to highly and visibly intoxicated/completely incapacitated in a short space of time - a few minutes in some cases.

So it is quite possible that his mother:

1. Did not know that he had been drinking

2. could see no outward signs of intoxication

3. got into the car unsuspecting that anything was amiss.

Unless of course you have other information.

[richard51]

For someone seemingly so close I don't believe that she would have no inkling of his state. I suspect his driving was a little erratic too.

I do admit that the use of the term ex-alcoholic is not correct though.

NB I do believe that he was treated for painkiller dependence the first time he was in re-hab.!!!!!

[andyh4]

Well it would certainly seem that his driving was erratic leading up to the accident, but that does not necessarily mean it was when they set off, and once underway she would effectively be a captive in the car.