Joint bank a/c - TIP problems with second signatory

[chessie]

Always intrigues me the way a thread on one subject goes off on a tangent into another subject - which can be more interesting than the the original post.

One of the things I love about this forum.

As the OP I appreciate all the helpful advice, and stories of personal experiences, from everyone.

Amazing when people really open up, and write about the awful times they've had.

Life isn't a 'bowl of cherries' for many of us, is it ?

I accept that I will need help - and I'm impressed at how much emphasis has been placed on this  aspect of Alzy, the carer,

 that gets overlooked.

There is a centre some miles away where I will be able to visit and get help, advice - and shoulders to cry on - I know it's there, and I will use it if it becomes necessary in the future.

At the moment it's early stages, and I'm keeping careful watch out....

Just that I seem to encounter silly little 'snags' - as in the problems in my first post, which led to this side-track about Alzy.   Bit of a shame because Alzy is an important subject, and won't be found by many because of the original title of the post.

Some of you have had tough times - but got through them - well done.   The advice about 'reaching out' is also good - and I do appreciate people's comments.

Please don't let's spoil this by a little bit of argy-bargy between some on here - life's too short....

Thank you everyone - Chessie

[idun]

What can I say, but go and see them now and find out what to do and when.

It is funny how things sort of get ahead of themselves and help and diagnosis should have been sought earlier.

I wish you the best of luck, but look after yourself, if you don't who will?

[Judith-aka-Judith]

Chessie,

Been busy for a few days and only just back to look at this.  I totally understand where you are ... I do have similar problems here though not as advanced as  yours - yet - and the first problem is to get the sufferer to understand / accept that this may be happening to them, though they probably know all about it, they will not accept that it happening to them (mine was a research chemist ... so the knowledge is there .. also similar problems of "sharing" accountablity in dealing with money etc ... "it's the man's job" etc ... if if works, don't fix it mentality - fine so far, your little problem shows when it is not ... but how to get over that one, I still do not know how I can organise that.  Violence seems to be a trend when they find they cannot cope ... and you (me) are the nearest person they can lash out at ... so you are NOT alone, if that helps.  [And yes, Idun, I know we should get help - that is easier said than done as Chessie will concur as it takes two to tango in this respect].

In our region we have an association set up to help Alz patients and their families, but getting diagnosed is another problem.  I do not know if there is such an association in 47, though I do know parts of 47 having a family home there, I am now not often there.  Contacting your mairie may be a good start, or indeed any of the ex-pat organisations who may know such places ... plenty of them in 47.

Meanwhile, know that this forum is available for you to ask for help .. even online support and advice is better than none - a shoulder to cry on.  I am fortunate that within our circle I have someone who knows us both well and was a clinical psychologist - there are many forms of dementia, and there are different ways of dealing with it, depending on what it is.  Here for my situation, we can see that it early days yet, but the signs of one form are becoming evident ... possibly. 

Maybe not what you wanted to hear ... but you are dealing with one problem, and maybe that is all we can do, one step at a time. 

[idun]

  

[nomoss]

[quote user="idun"]  

[/quote]

You're quiet today, idun[:D]

[idun]

   123

I have just pressed the space bar and it posted a blank post. the one two three is the only way I can often continue typing, so sorry about that. Anyone any ideas about computers who seem to suffer from this weird problem, please let me know.

           ----------------------------------------------------------------

Re the getting help. Maybe I go about things differently from other people. IF this happens to my OH, and they were saying they were fine, then, I would not even bother myself with their point of view if it were affecting both our lives.

I would get in touch with everyone I could think of and ask what I should be doing and at what point I should insist that tests are done. 

It isn't as if I have not been relentless in the past getting help, because I have, with one lady asking why I was calling her. Initially she said she couldn't help, then added...... you could try.......... and voila, I had, after a month of calls found someone who gave me the name and address of someone who could help and we made progress from that point. Truthfully I was desperate.

Also, I remember well, the state my Dad was getting in, and I would not wish that on anyone, terrible fatigue, simply being worn down bit by bit. And as my mother lost all her abilities, she could not lash out, but growled instead if not suited.

Re everyday living, well, either they do it, if they consider it 'their' job, or they don't. It is winter and one can hardly have the electricity switched off or letters from the hussier saying they are coming to collect.  How distressing would that be.

Maybe I am 'sneaky' but I would find ways round this, I really would. And I would know where to go when things got worse.

Sadly there are lots of people with deteriorating memories these days and I am sure that GP's and assistante sociales are knowledgable.

In the end my Dad started to become very forgetful and was referred to the memory clinic in England. Borderline, but in the system never the less as it was starting, he was 90 at the time.

None of it is easy, at all, I do know that, but honestly, I don't believe that doing nothing or next to nothing will never help.

[nomoss]

[quote user="idun"]

   123

I have just pressed the space bar and it posted a blank post. the one two three is the only way I can often continue typing, so sorry about that. Anyone any ideas about computers who seem to suffer from this weird problem, please let me know.

[/quote]

I LH click the mouse before typing when I see the blank form.

EDIT: with the cursor in the message field

It's become a habit on this forum.

Like clicking every while on the Cookie popup.

Sorry I can't help with any other problems[:(]

[Cathar Tours]

"getting diagnosed is another problem".

I guess the first problem is getting the person to see a GP. My mum just started to complain that she couldn't remember things in the near short term. Could remember things from years ago without a problem. They both thought it was just part of getting old, going into the room and forgetting why you went there. It's when you don't know what room your in that it's time to worry. No mention of any type of illness was mentioned, it was more or less "well when we next go to the GP it might be worth a mention".

From GP through scans and the testing my dad said everything was done on a "lets just check to make sure everything is OK" so my mum wasn't that concerned. Once the testing was done (at Carcassonne hospital, scans were done at the Montreal clinic nearby and the PT scan at Toulouse) they went back to get the results a few days later and that was when the diagnosis was given. Everything just slipped into place from there.

The people that helped my dad was more like having somebody to let of steam to by phone or email. Basically he was allocated one person as a contact point. Later as the disease progressed it was "easier" to get her out and about strangely enough which enabled them to go to coffee mornings etc. My dad could also got a "break" for up to a week where my mum was placed into temporary care. This was also organised through the hospital. The hospital also had a social worker who can help with claiming the money for home help etc. I seem to remember he got something near a thousand Euros a month all in or so he said.

Just to say the violence side is not amale thing. My mother took a carving knife to by dad twice. The first time he had half a dozen stitches, the second time he knew or sensed what was coming and evaded it. I know the first time was true because I saw the stitches on his arms when I visited and he was forced to tell me. I know he was very worried and thought they would take her away and lock her up which of course they didn't. They just changed her drugs a bit. I can't even start to imagine how you live day by day with all this going on and the constant worry which is why I sort of consider myself lucky.

[suein56]

idun wrote:

123

I have just pressed the space bar and it posted a blank post. the one two three is the only way I can often continue typing, so sorry about that. Anyone any ideas about computers who seem to suffer from this weird problem, please let me know.

It sounds as though you've got your comp in 'overwrite' mode rather than insert mode.

Do you have an 'insert' key on the top right of your keyboard ?

If so then press it and it should swap back to normal.