Calories

[Mark]

[quote user="Cassis"]Ah, but if you read back you'll find that wine is related to wine sugar levels to chocolate to calories.  So not off topic. [:P]
[/quote]

Curses.  And double curses - wine shouldn't be fattening. What tastes nice but is good for you - anything?

[Cassis]

A bivouac coated in those chemicals they use to flavour smoky bacon crisps.  Tastes good, indigestible so no calories, plus useful if it rains.

[Dick Smith]

They call it liquid smoke.

" Colgin Natural Liquid Smoke is an

all-natural product with no additives or preservatives. It is

manufactured using a safe, water-based process, in which unwanted

byproducts are removed. Colgin Natural Liquid Smoke contains no

measurable caloric content (0 calories!) per 4.5g serving. A little

liquid smoke goes a long way in livening up taste, so start off with

about one teaspoon per serving in your favorite recipe and then add

more from there to taste."

Yummy. Barf...

[Cassis]

Manufactured from what, exactly? [blink]

[Dick Smith]

It didn't say. I'll try to find out and give you the grisly details.

[Cassis]

I've found it:

Colgin Liquid Smoke is not a chemical or synthetic flavor - but

genuine wood smoke "liquefied." The wood is placed in large retorts (1)

where intense heat is applied, causing the wood to smolder (not burn).

(2)

THIS IS THE OLD TIME tedious method of barbecuing, which Colgin Liquid Smoke makes unnecessary.

Have

you ever seen meat smoked in the old-fashioned way, in a smoke house?

If so, you saw drops of dark brown liquid forming on the meat. That was

smoke that had condensed into liquid form, just as moisture in the air

condenses on the windshield of your car and “fogs it up.” This

condensed or “liquid” smoke is the best food flavoring.

Colgin

Natural Liquid Smoke is produced by burning fresh cut hickory,

mesquite, apple, and pecan wood chips at extremely high temperatures

and moisture levels. There’s nothing “synthetic” about it – it’s not

made from chemicals. It is made by placing high grade smoking woods in

sealed retorts (1), where intense heat makes the wood smolder (not

burn) (2), releasing the gases seen in ordinary smoke.

These

gases are quickly chilled in condensers (3), which liquefies the smoke;

it is then forced through seven refining vats (5 - 11) and a large

filter (12), to remove impurities. Finally, the liquid is received into

large oak barrels (14) which will age the liquid smoke for mellowness.

While

the equipment is modern, computer-controlled and state-of-the-art, the

process is the same as when S.E. Colgin first patented it in the early

part of the 20th Century.

Colgin Natural

Liquid Smoke is an all natural product with no additives or

preservatives. It will enhance the flavor of meat, poultry, fish,

vegetables, sauces, gravies . . . anything that would taste better with

a real smoke flavor and aroma.

Must be okay, it says it's not synthetic or made from chemicals and has no additives or preservatives.  Hang on, I just need to sprinkle a little more curare on the chicken.

[Dick Smith]

Hang on, that is a description of tar, isn't it? That nasty stuff in the cigarettes we all stopped smoking because we wanted to live to see our pensions?

This worries me a bit: (my emphasis)

Aqueous liquid smoke produces a brown layer on the wall of the

polythene receptacle in which it has been contained. The constituents

of this brown layer have been extracted using dichloromethane and were

studied by means of gas chromatography/mass spectrometry (GC/MS) and

Fourier transform infrared spectroscopy (FTIR). Some changes in the

liquid smoke were deduced through comparisons of data from the brown

layer with the previously obtained liquid smoke data. Due to

interactions between polythene molecules and compounds of the liquid

smoke, some of these latter compounds migrate into the wall of the

receptacle and are retained there. The extent of these migrations

depends on the size of the hydrocarbon part of each compound. However,

far from being harmful, this migration is useful, since compounds

irrelevant from the point of view of flavour, and harmful to health are

the main compounds affected by the retention on the polythene wall.

Some of the adsorbed compounds have not previously been reported to be

present in liquid smoke.

[Meg]

Dick your alight!!!

[Dick Smith]

Merely smouldering.

[Cassis]

The manufacturers claim that as long as you use Liquid Smoke over a long enough period, you eventually become immune to any adverse side effects.  Just pull through the surgery and you'll be fine.

[Dick Smith]

Kippered, as it were? They are taking us for quidnuncs.

[Cassis]

What date is it?

[Dick Smith]

Sorry, but everybody has to move on sometime.

[Cassis]

I moved on to another thread to sort out a task I had not expected to meet until tomorrow.  "I don't feel well".  Maybe I need more calories.