How to approach this

[Pierre ZFP]

I saw on the BBC website about how some horribly injured soilders were learning to ski using something called a Sitski.

http://newsvote.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7962172.stm

Quite extrodinary courage I thought.  Now I don't want to even go into the what and why they got their injuries but it set me thinking.

I have a friend who was seriously injured in a flying accident in 2004.  His back was broken and the spinal cord nearly severed.  The upshot is that he has some motor function in his legs and can walk a short distance with the aid of 2 crutches but has no feeling below the waist.

Now he used to be a keen skier and although he won't say so, was rather good.  He has often talked about it and misses it a lot.  In fact he gave me his skis as he was 'fed up of seeing them laying around gathering dust'.

I have found an outfit (not too far away from Lux actually)  http://www.dualski.com/   that not only sell the equipment but also arrange demos and courses.

So far so good but my quandry is how to approach this, if at all.  He is fiercely independent, for example he refused to have anything to do with a wheelchair and forced himself to use crutches against all advice.  He wouldn't even let me fetch him a cup of tea until I hit on the idea of 'well I'm going to get myself one. I'll get one for you too.'

I have almost no experiance of people with any sort of disabilitiy so I don't know if I should even mention it or how to perhaps approach it. I think we could both have a great time if I could just get him out on the slopes again.

Any views?

 

[splishsplash]

Could you get a brochure sent to him direct from the company or do you think he might realise it was you?

We knew someone in the UK in this situation & once he got his, he was off on the slopes all the time. It really gave him a new lease of life again.

[just john]

my advice has no basis more reliable than my own experience…but they know they have a disability, and they know you know it too, so pussyfooting around is considered patronising. Whilst genuine straightforwardness similar to ''I'm making a cuppa myself'' is appreciated. I also learn't no doesn't necessarily mean no first time around. So in your circumstance I suggest that you just say you saw the website and thought it would be a great crack and something you'd both have a great time trying, if you're up for it of course? bon courage[8-|] 

[Âme]

Pierre, A tricky one! I think that John's advice is good.

My partner is disabled and the "I'm making one for myself" technique is more than familiar. Dignity with disability is a hard balance to strike and, I suspect, different for each person.

I would definitely mention it.  Just remember that you might not be the first to do so.

You have the idea that you will have fun doing this with your friend.  What I mean to say is that you want him to join you rather than the other way around.  You want to share your love of skiing and think this could offer an opportunity to do so.  Would he be prepared to give it a go, for you?  Maybe even use this as an opportunity to explain your embarrassment/difficulty bringing it up (you'll be closer friends after that conversation!)

Your friend may enjoy learning to ski in a new way, or it might simply

remind him of his lack of independence... there may come a time when

he's ready to try things that sit him squarely in the 'disabled'

category but, right now, the whole idea might be anaethma to him. He's an individual, like everybody else.

GL, he's fortunate to have such a caring and sensitive friend.

[Pierre ZFP]

Just an update on this thread. Due to holidays, Easter etc I had no chance to talk with my friend before yesterday.

First, many thanks to all for the excellent advice. 

So, no pussyfooting around and straight out with 'I've seen this and I think it would be a great laugh if your interested'  I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised when he said he was up for it, in a big way!  He had some concerns naturally.  Not ones I thought of like the logistics of getting to the slopes but of a more personal nature of his disability, which we neeed not go into here.  We talked about this for some time and decided there were no insurmountable obstacles. 

The upshot is that although it's too late for this season, we discovered that the Snowhall at Amneville near Metz, is a centre for these Sitskis and training is available.  The plan is that we're going this Saturday to check it out !!

I'm glad I posted here and got such positive encouragement,  thanks again

 

 

[just john]

Great stuff, let us know how you get on!, a few pics might be interesting, good on you both, enjoy the apre-sitski[8-|] 

[mint]

Yes, Pierre, enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't they say that, where there's a will, there's a way?

[odile]

Bravo Pierre - I really hope you 2 have great fun sharing the experience. there are many resorts that have special facilities, support, tuition for the disabled and lots of experience. I have seen this working first hand in Winter Park colorado - fantastic. But there are many in Europe too - I'm sure the centre near you will have lots of info. We are now living in the Jura in Switzerland, and if you and your friend ever want help and support on the slopes - please ask.

Good friend indeed to have the courage to talk.