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A Last Desparate Warning


In conclusion, I have some bad news. I need to warn my readers about a terrible new virus that's going around. Seriously! This one is real, and I urge you to watch for it and take the appropriate measures. I received the following dire warning in an email today that I must pass along to you, so you can protect yourself. Forward it to all your friends, so we can all help stop this hideous scourge before it brings the world to its knees!

If you receive an Email with the subject line "Badtimes" delete it IMMEDIATELY, WITHOUT READING it. This is the most dangerous Email virus yet.

Not only will it completely rewrite your hard drive, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It also demagnetises the strips on your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you try to play. It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles. It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer. It will even leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are expecting company.

It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and interfere with your car radio reception so you hear only static while stuck in traffic. When executed "Badtimes" will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and deodorant with Surface Spray. It will give you Dutch Elm Disease and Tinea. If the "Badtimes" message is opened in a Windows95 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hairdryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.

It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, but it will refill your skim milk with whole milk. It has been known to disregard 'Open This End' labels and can make you 'Push' a door that says 'Pull' and vice versa. It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve. These are just a few signs.

You have been warned!

(N.B. This highly amusing item comes from the Symantec Anti-Virus site.)

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