For parents...a good reminder for our children

[tournesol]

Hello

This formed part of another forum posting which I felt should be passed on to anyone with children (or  grandchildren) which use the internet in particular for things like msn messenger etc.... It is apparently not a true story but none the less effective in getting an important message across. I have sent  a copy on to friends /relations I know with children. 

Read this...

<<After tossing her books on the sofa, she decided to grab a snack and get on-line. She logged on under her screen name ByAngel213. She checked her Buddy List and saw GoTo123 was on. She sent him an instant message:
ByAngel213:
Hi. I'm glad you are on! I thought someone was following me home today. It was really weird!
GoTo123:
LOL You watch too much TV. Why would someone be following you?
Don't you live in a safe neighborhood?
ByAngel213:
Of course I do. LOL I guess it was my imagination cuz' I didn't see anybody when I looked out.
GoTo123:
Unless you gave your name out on-line. You haven't done that have you?
ByAngel213:
Of course not. I'm not stupid you know.
GoTo123:
Did you have a softball game after school today?
ByAngel213:
Yes and we won!!
GoTo123:
That's great! Who did you play?
ByAngel213:
We played the Hornets. LOL. Their uniforms are so gross! They look like bees. LOL
GoTo123:
What is your team called?
ByAngel213:
We are the Canton Cats. We have tiger paws on our uniforms. They are really cool.
GoTo1 23:
Did you pitch?
ByAngel213:
No I play second base. I got to go. My homework has to be done before my parents get home. I don't want them mad at me. Bye!
GoTo123:
Catch you later. Bye

Meanwhile.......GoTo123 went to the member menu and began to search for her profile. When it came up, he highlighted it and printed it out. He took out a pen and began to write down what he knew about Angel so far.

Her name: Shannon
Birthday: Jan. 3, 1985
Age: 13
State where she lived: North Carolina
Hobbies: softball, chorus, skating and going to the mall. Besides this information, he knew she lived in Canton because she had just told him. He knew she stayed by herself until 6:30 p.m. every afternoon until her parents came home from work. He knew she played softball on Thursday afternoons on the school team, and the team was named the Canton Cats. Her favorite number 7 was printed on her jersey. He knew she was in the eighth grade at the Canton Junior High School . She had told him all this in the conversations they had on- line previously. He had enough information to find her now.

Shannon didn't tell her parents about the incident on the way home from the ballpark that day. She didn't want them to make a scene and stop her from walking home from the softball games. Parents were always overreacti ng and hers were the worst. It made her wish she was not an only child. Maybe if she had brothers and sisters, her parents wouldn't be so overprotective.

By Thursday, Shannon had forgotten about the footsteps following her.

Her game was in full swing when suddenly she felt someone staring at her. It was then that the memory came back. She glanced up from her second base position to see a man watching her closely.
He was leaning against the fence behind first base and he smiled when she looked at him. He didn't look scary and she quickly dismissed the sudden fear she had felt.
After the game, he sat on a bleacher while she talked to the coach. She noticed his smile once again as she walked past him. He nodded and she smiled back. He noticed her name on the back of her shirt. He knew he had found her.
Quietly, he walked a safe distance behind her. It was only a few blocks to Shannon 's home, and once he saw where she lived he quickly returned to the park to get his car.
Now he had to wait. He decided to get a bite to eat until the time came to go to Shannon 's house. He drove to a fast food restaurant and sat there until time to make his move.

Shannon was in her room later that evening when she heard voices in the living room.
'Shannon, come here,' her father called. He sounded upset and she couldn't imagine why. She went into the room to see the man from the ballpark sitting on the sofa.
'Sit down,' her father began, 'this man has just told us a most interesting story about you.'
Shannon sat back. How could he tell her parents anything? She had never seen him before today!
'Do you know who I am, Shannon ?' the man asked.
'No,' Shannon answered.
'I am a police officer and your online friend, GoTo123.'
Shannon was stunned. 'That's impossible! GoTo is a kid my age! He's 14. And he lives in Michigan !'
The man smiled. 'I know I told you all that, but it wasn't true. You see, Shannon , there are people on-line who pretend to be kids; I was one of them. But while others do it to injure kids and hurt them, I belong to a group of parents who do it to protect kids from predators. I came here to find you to teach you how dangerous it is to talk to people on-line. You told me enough about yourself to make it easy for me to find you. You named the school you went to, the name of your ball team and the position you played. The number and name on your jersey just made finding you a breeze.'
Shannon was stunned. 'You mean you don't live in Michigan ?'
He laughed. 'No, I live in Raleigh . It made you feel safe to think I was so far away, didn't it?'
She nodded.
'I had a friend whose daughter was like you. Only she wasn't as lucky. The guy found her and murdered her while she was home alone. Kids are taught not to tell anyone when they are alone, yet they do it all the time on-line. The wrong people trick you into giving out information a little here and there on-line. Before you know it, you have told them enough for them to find you without even realizing you have done it. I hope you've learned a lesson from this and won't do it again. Tell others about this so they will be safe too?'
'It's a promise!'

 

[Frenchie]

I think this is a very interesting post in the sense that it reminds people that the internet, even if it has become part of our lives, can be a dangerous weapon to kids.

My son is almost 14 , he doesn't use Msn yet, just because he never asked ( is he different or what?? [blink] ) , but about 6 months ago, I discovered he had googled  " naked women" ( normal curiosity, I'm well aware !) but I was so shocked by the result he got for this search [:-))][:@].. I didn't want to watch, I didn't want to see pages where women are humiliated and where sexuality is distorted.

But I did, because I wanted to know exactly what my son had seen. And this haunts me now. I can't describe what I saw, on the forum, but believe me, I am not prude , and I was gobsmacked at what such a young boy could so easily see , when he had " just" asked for " femmes nues "........  [:-))]

Of course I tried to have a conversation with him, I said this is normal to want to know what sexuality is , at his age, but that what he had seen is not what it is for most people . That sexuality is not dirty, that normally it is meant to be only pleasurable, to both partners, and that no one is forced to do anything he desn't fancy etc etc etc ..

 Of course he was ashamed and denied his search.. Then he was embarassed and didn't want to talk about it .. ( Normal I guess .)

Just to remind you to be careful.. I have a contrôle parental of course, but I had gone shopping for just a few items and had forgotten to switch it on.............;;

I am sad  when I think of what he saw.

This is too violent a way to learn about human sexuality for a young boy.

I had to switch on the " child protect" on my club internet , because I checked the teenager protect, and it is not efficient enough, the filter lets some words through and teenagers can access to porn.

Maybe you will find my reaction out of place, and think I am not " modern" , that this is inevitable, but believe me it haunts me .

[JSA Aude]

I don't think your reaction is out of place whatsoever.  We have three boys, the oldest being 24 and youngest 15.  What a difference the access to internet has had in the years between them,  some aspects very good, others, as you say, very worrying and sad.  Well done for trying to broach the subject, try to  keep the lines of communication open, and yes, I agree, he's just being a normal (hormones raging!) curious teenager.