cajal

Here's one for all you married women. A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there? The father, surprised, answers. Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions. Onions? the son asks. Yes. You see them and they make you cry. This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, Mum, how many different kinds of penises are there? The mother smiles and says. Well, dear,a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his penis is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree. A Christmas tree? the daughter asks. Yes,it appears once a year,it's dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration. regards cajal

Here's one for all those with friends who live next-door. A guy sends a text to his neighbour: "Bob, I'm sorry. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess: I have been helping myself to your wife when you're not around, probably more than you. I know it's no excuse but I don't get it at home. I can't live with the guilt any longer. I hope you'll accept my sincerest apology. It won't happen again." Feeling outrage and betrayed, Bob grabs his gun, goes in search of his wife, and without a word, shoots her. Moments later the guy gets a second text: "Damned autocorrect! That should have read 'wifi'." regards cajal

the latest......... Paris (AFP) - Renault diesel engines have been found to exceed emissions limits, French Environment Minister Segolene Royal said on Thursday, but added no cheating software had been found in the cars. Royal spoke after a commission she appointed submitted test results of French and foreign cars, which found carbon dioxide and nitrogen dioxide emissions in Renault cars to be too high, as were those of two non-French automakers. It would be interesting to compare the published emissions figures of vehicles on the forecourt against the test engine figures. regards cajal

Here regards cajal

Is that good?  Is any of it necessary? ------------------------------------------------------------------ I can shop for just about anything at 2am in the morning and will get Customer service from shelf stackers that they will never ever experience in France, that I can buy any DIY materials from 7am to 20.00 not 9 till 12 then 2 till 6, that I can place a £10 order on Saturday or Sunday and it will be delivered FOC on Monday morning ----------------------------------------------------------------------- You flick a switch at 2am and expect a light to come on. You turn on a tap at 2am and expect water to come out. You put a filling station nozzle in your vehicle at 2am and expect fuel to flow. You push a supermarket door at 2am???? It's not unreasonable to expect the store to be open. It is, after all, 2016. regards cajal

but hey, for some, there's never a wrong time for crass remarks. I don't find RIP at all crass... just showing some respect to the guy. regards cajal

David Bowie Hhmm? Music....................0/10 Self Publicity......10/10 RIP regards cajal

Here's one for me as it reminds me of the French way. A party official visits the farmer in his simple living quarters and proclaims "Comrade, for your hard work and absolute dedication to the great leader and the Democratic People's Republic, over 50 years, we would like to reward you with a car" The humble farmer nods silently to show his appreciation, the party official continues; "As you know, North Korean industry is the the most powerful and efficient in the world, and as such we will have your car delivered to you in exactly 8 years" The humble farmer then signals to the official to wait, and he crosses the room to check his calendar. After flipping through for some time he finally says; "Morning or afternoon?" The party official is rather offended, and remarks "Comrade, you are being given a car! And that privilege aside, delivery is 8 years away, what does it matter if its morning or afternoon?" To which the farmer responds "Well, the plumber is coming in the morning..." and whils't the rest of the world says....did they?....didn't they? Here's  another explosive one for you. I called my friend in North Korea and asked him how he was. He said he couldn't complain. regards cajal

Here's one for all you procrastinators. https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-aXX38mTbxMM/VogMVcSm_OI/A... regards cajal

Here's one for all you gamblers. A recent study has found that 5 out of 6 researchers say russian roulette is safe. regards cajal

Here's one for all you far right freaks. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-35244444 causing some controversy. In fact a bit of a Ramadan-a-ding-dong. regards cajal

Here's one for all those conned into spending too much at Chrismas. A Scouse friend of mine told me he got his three kids a trampoline and bikes for Christmas, off the internet. I asked him which website he'd used. "Google Earth." he said. regards cajal

Here's one for all those suckered into purchasing a French car. Following the Volkswagen scandal, motoring organisations all over the world are demanding another investigation... Into software installed by Renault/Peugeot/Citroen..... etc to prevent indicators working. regards cajal

Here's one for all those left leaning pinko-liberal socialists..........suck it up. A HEART WARMING STORY…….. Because of his stupidity and clumsiness, his teacher, was always yelling at him, "You're driving me crazy, Tyrone!" One day, Tyrone's Mother came to school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his Mother honestly, that her son was simply a disaster, getting very low marks, and that she had never seen such a stupid boy in her entire teaching career. The Mother was so shocked at the feedback that she withdrew her son from school and moved out of London, and relocated to Birmingham. Twenty-five years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an almost incurable cardiac disease. All the doctors strongly advised her to have open heart surgery, but there was only one surgeon in Britain who could perform the operation and he was located at the Birmingham Clinic. Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was successful. When she came round after surgery she saw a handsome young doctor smiling down at her. She wanted to thank him, but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him something but quickly died. The doctor was shocked, wondering what could possibly have gone wrong so suddenly. Then he turned around and saw our friend Tyrone, a janitor in the Clinic, who had unplugged the life-support equipment in order to connect his vacuum cleaner. If you thought for one moment that Tyrone had become a heart-surgeon there is a high likelihood that you voted for Jeremy Corbyn last September. regards cajal

Here is their notification announcement. regards cajal

Here is an example of a post on PayPalSucks from a buyer in Spain making a purchase, via PayPal, from the UK. As Sergeant Phil Esterhaus from Hill Street Blues  would say 'Lets be careful out there'. regards cajal

nomoss wrote: I did this, and was told that having a UK card was against EU regulations or some such carp. As I posted earlier: What happened to freedom of movement of goods and services? regards cajal

Maybe best I continue to avoid payments via PayPal. Here regards cajal

nomoss wrote Today the card was refused and "This card may not be used for this purchase" was displayed. This might be a longshot if you attempted to make your purchase with a Nationwide cc.  Mrs c has just informed me that she was unable to access her cc account at Nationwide yesterday due to a technical fault which has now been sorted. Just a thought. regards cajal

July 17 2015 'PayPal will continue to be used as eBay’s main payment provider, and nothing is expected to change for customers.' I can vouch for that. regards cajal

I have neither bought or been able to buy anything where PayPal is involved, with my Uk cc from France, for about 12 months. I have 2 UK cards and both are registered to a French address and like yourself I've tried both PP.FR and PP.UK and dipped out on both sites. I put this situation down to a dislike, by PP, of a French registered UK cc being used in a non UK country to make a purchase from the UK. (If you can get your head around that!). As ebay own PayPal there is also no way to hoodwink them as their systems will be integrated. I don't possess any French bank cards.  Until my bank start to issue me one with nil annual charge or I am unable to use a UK cc I wont be purchasing anything requiring payment via PayPal. What happened to 'freedom of movement of goods and services? regards cajal

If the shows are stopped the terrorists have won. If they go ahead and give them a chance to strike then they have won again, BUT they will probably have killed a boat load of innocent people? And therein lies the rub. Where will these kind of event cancellations stop because....see above statement. regards cajal

The cities of Brussels and Paris to cancel New Year's Eve celebrations due to the threat of terrorist attacks. regards cajal

Thanks for your responses..much appreciated. Lehaut What is the wood? Douglas Pine. Not my first choice, that would have been oak. Because oak is twice the weight of Douglas pine and in view of my age I figured it would be impractical for me to handle and attempt to fit something that size and weight on my own. I also underwent some surgery last year and didn’t relish the idea of possibly pinging out any breastbone staples. All their wood is ‘air’ dried and has never been anywhere near a kiln. Chancer I hope that there will be no shrinkage, cracking or racking. The first summer we lived here I put a thermometer on the front of the house in the direct sunlight (south facing). The thermometer is calibrated to 55 ºC and the mercury rose off the scale. So will it shrink etc? You bet it will. Bearing this in mind, I double dowelled each mortice & tenon joint and didn’t use any glue on the t & g panels. I allowed a 3mm gap all round these panels in the rebated frame which I ran a bead of silicone in to weatherproof, take up the slack and allow for expansion /contraction. John Ta also for the WIP. I hoped you’d all be able to share the pain with me. and apparently they aren't the most welcoming. These people couldn’t be more helpful. It’s run by a wheelchair bound guy and his daughter. They’ve always allowed us the run of the place to rummage around and the workforce are always willing to proffer help and advice when requested. Its worth a trip to their scierie just to observe all the machinery in full operation. regards cajal

We extended this house during 2009/10 & 11.  This year I thought I had better do something about acquiring some doors for the new abri.  I know............I'll make them myself. We have an Exploitation Forestière Scierie near to us so I purchased a slice of tree trunk 6m x 0.48m x 0.068m (it still had the bark on either edge) and set about making a frame and 2 doors. This is the first time I have attempted anything this ambitious with wood.  Overall it has saved me paying someone a shed load of money ( the outlay on materials for me was approx €200). It has kept me occupied since September and finished off the front of the house.  So here are some photos, mrs c took, I would like to share with anyone who is interested.  1) The rebated frame with hinge rebates cut. [URL=http://s1379.photobucket.com/user/cajal/media/56a492f0-60f7-4785-9f0a-c896e8cc33c2_zps7zzyoj93.jpg.html][IMG]http://i1379.photobucket.com/albums/ah154/cajal/56a492f0-60f7-4785-9f0a-c896e8cc33c2_zps7zzyoj93.jpg[/IMG][/URL] 2) You can never have too many clamps. Mortice & tenons now glued up and masking tape removed from all the joints. I used polyurethane glue so I taped all the joints all round to protect the wood from the glue when it foams. To cut down on the amount of foaming and decrease the set time I lightly dampened the mortice & tenons prior to applying the glue.(It does work.) The top row of clamps was for glueing a length of timber screwed into a rebate on the leading edge of the narrow door to fit a rebate I machined on the leading edge of the wide door. [URL=http://s1379.photobucket.com/user/cajal/media/7dd4f69f-8940-499b-8013-f9ec0ddaedc7_zpstufhl3fa.jpg.html][IMG]http://i1379.photobucket.com/albums/ah154/cajal/7dd4f69f-8940-499b-8013-f9ec0ddaedc7_zpstufhl3fa.jpg[/IMG][/URL] 3) 1st door with t&g lower panel insert. I made 7 x 2m lengths of t&g for both lower door panels with a dedicated t&g router cutting set from here [URL=http://s1379.photobucket.com/user/cajal/media/a0fd6869-2ec8-430a-b089-a6a342600612_zpsfsyj6lob.jpg.html][IMG]http://i1379.photobucket.com/albums/ah154/cajal/a0fd6869-2ec8-430a-b089-a6a342600612_zpsfsyj6lob.jpg[/IMG][/URL] 4) 2nd door with t&g lower panel insert fitted. [URL=http://s1379.photobucket.com/user/cajal/media/c388ebf9-6a9f-4768-856b-6ade7a0300c2_zpsxc0sufui.jpg.html][IMG]http://i1379.photobucket.com/albums/ah154/cajal/c388ebf9-6a9f-4768-856b-6ade7a0300c2_zpsxc0sufui.jpg[/IMG][/URL] 5) I didn't use French hinges as I could not find any of quality that were substantial enough. But I did here [URL=http://s1379.photobucket.com/user/cajal/media/aed1ea25-e133-4187-b6a9-ab18f86a5327_zpsnqpna3f2.jpg.html][IMG]http://i1379.photobucket.com/albums/ah154/cajal/aed1ea25-e133-4187-b6a9-ab18f86a5327_zpsnqpna3f2.jpg[/IMG][/URL] 6) Routing the ogee pattern on all external face rebate edges. [URL=http://s1379.photobucket.com/user/cajal/media/ca3012bd-eaa5-4c2c-80c8-54a9e3d1e44e_zpsng5laeqw.jpg.html][IMG]http://i1379.photobucket.com/albums/ah154/cajal/ca3012bd-eaa5-4c2c-80c8-54a9e3d1e44e_zpsng5laeqw.jpg[/IMG][/URL] 7) Sample of routed glazing and t&g securing beads. [URL=http://s1379.photobucket.com/user/cajal/media/43ddd645-8cd7-4685-adb8-98c1cc629111_zpsdszrci6y.jpg.html][IMG]http://i1379.photobucket.com/albums/ah154/cajal/43ddd645-8cd7-4685-adb8-98c1cc629111_zpsdszrci6y.jpg[/IMG][/URL] 8) Nearly ready for a trial fitting in situ. [URL=http://s1379.photobucket.com/user/cajal/media/1ad2ee71-ed49-4027-ba18-e44fe3097fcf_zpstzbsxxl1.jpg.html][IMG]http://i1379.photobucket.com/albums/ah154/cajal/1ad2ee71-ed49-4027-ba18-e44fe3097fcf_zpstzbsxxl1.jpg[/IMG][/URL] 9) Frame fitted and doors trial fit. [URL=http://s1379.photobucket.com/user/cajal/media/aa81d2f3-a091-4b7c-90fb-68d81b1cfa75_zpst8l86bkx.jpg.html][IMG]http://i1379.photobucket.com/albums/ah154/cajal/aa81d2f3-a091-4b7c-90fb-68d81b1cfa75_zpst8l86bkx.jpg[/IMG][/URL] 10) Fitted with 2 coats of chêne clair lasure already applied and awaiting 2 more coats of chêne clair and one of incolore.  Door furniture and glass to be fitted. [URL=http://s1379.photobucket.com/user/cajal/media/d239a3f6-49c0-40ec-9d3a-8b091de13025_zpsx47pad02.jpg.html][IMG]http://i1379.photobucket.com/albums/ah154/cajal/d239a3f6-49c0-40ec-9d3a-8b091de13025_zpsx47pad02.jpg[/IMG][/URL] 11)....et voila, enfin terminé. [URL=http://s1379.photobucket.com/user/cajal/media/537ad4ad-d88c-4f04-be65-ad1d3bf4b1e1_zpszgheodso.jpg.html][IMG]http://i1379.photobucket.com/albums/ah154/cajal/537ad4ad-d88c-4f04-be65-ad1d3bf4b1e1_zpszgheodso.jpg[/IMG][/URL] For safety reasons I fitted verre feuilleté which is basically 2 pieces of glass with a layer of plastic sandwiched between them. I didn't use putty or silicone for the glazing but this. I fitted it to the glazing rebates and the interior glazing beads and used csk.screws to secure the glazing beads to the internal rebates. I used vis penture (they appear brown in the photo but are infact black) to replicate the clos anciens on the rails and stiles. Overall I’m glad I undertook the project. Now I have to decide whether to commit to the 2x2 double garage doors required at the other end of the abri. Watch this space. regards cajal