Alma

Thanks Ame,  watch this space

Ame - I think things have gone too far me now to want to help them!  They are even down to washing most of their own sheets now to save money so I think they must be on the way out.  As for suggesting buying more towels etc   been there, done that, got told to mind my own business (but not that politely!)[blink]

Ame, you are quite right. They took over this business last year and I was 'in it' from the beginning as a 'new' employee.  I really felt like 'one of the family' and the working atmosphere was really good and I really felt like I wanted them to make a success.  I think the problems are probably showing that perhaps the business is struggling financially but surely that should be a reason to keep your good employees on side not use them to take out the frustrations of failure!?

Thanks a lot Cathy, I think I have understood it but will talk about it with the man at the CGT tomorrow.  Looks like a way out assuming my bosses will co-operate of course!  Many thanks.

Thanks Clair,  I was worried that I was perhaps imagining my problems.  I have had a lot of moral harrassement this year (the other lady who did the job when I was on my days off left because she was suffering with very bad depression because of the way she was being treated.  Since she left all the things that were being done to her are now being put onto me.  My contract is femme de menage/polyvalent depending on which piece of paper you look at:  contract says polyvalent but everything else (payslip, tax forms etc say femme de menage).  Nothing specified but my boss has had me painting and gardening which I now know is not part of my job discription so I am expecting an arguement when I refuse to do this again when I am instructed to do it this winter. My bosses are not the sort of people that will discuss these things unless everything is going their way - if they do not like what they here they fly off the handle and it causes even more problems!  That's why the other lady had such a problem - she tried to discuss a problem. I am seeing the CGT (union) at the moment about some other issues that I have with them (mainly wanting my money they owe me) so they might be able to bring this into it.  Unfortuneately moral harrassement is against the law here but a case has never been successful because it is not possible to prove it.  Catch 22?! I am trying to find another job but it not easy with limited french.  I explain that to french people (doctor etc..) but they don't seem to understand what a big problem that is.  It took me 2 years to get this job after many ignored job applications and interviews,  Unfortenatly I cannot afford to not work and if I quit I am not entitled to unemployment for 4 months.  

AME I agree - the problem this year was that everything changed and I was left most of the time to do everything on my own.  Starting with sweeping and mopping throughout downstairs corridors and restaraunts, cleaning toilets putting the first load of laundry on (previous nights kitchen and restaraunt stuff), carry all clean sheets upstairs (3 flights) plus baskets of towels.  Most mornings I managed to start the actual bedrooms by about 9:45 (if any of the guests had left!).  There are fifteen ensuite rooms most with more than one bed.  Because of the boss didn't want to spend out on any more towels this year we were running on a 'just enough' basis so I was having to run up and down to get the towels washed inbetween doing the bedrooms.  I had help sometimes of a young waitress (16) trainee but because she was absolutely rubbish I ended up either having to redo all her work or got reprimanded about the state of the cleaning! The rooms had to be finished by 2 o'clock because that's when the guests could start arriving but quite often alot of the old guests didn't check out until 12 o'clock.  Then expected to finish off dirty pots and pans and any dishes left from the lazy gits in the kitchen, sweeping through the restaurants again because the waitresses don't consider it their job and having to finish the laundry and any other jobs that the boss decides he wants done. i.e. cleaning out the commercial dishwasher, cleaning down surfaces in kitchen...... I am conciencous (spelling!!) with my work but have felt this year that I am being exploited (especially with other problems like not being paid for extra hours I have worked etc).  My boss is always reprimanding me (in front of other staff) for silly things, complaining that I am not working fast enough, silly things taken singly but when they go on all day everyday it is hard to work properly.  I am at the stage where I often find myself having anxiety attacks (crying, palpatations, trembling etc) which does affect my work.  Is this normal for the hotel industry.  I have heard that it is a difficult industry to be in.

How long were you expected to take to do your 20 rooms?

Has anyone out there got experiance in the hotel cleaning side of things?  I would like to know how many ensuite bedrooms you should be expected to do and in what time capactity should it take you to do each average room.  I accept that in the height of the season there is more work to do but there must still be a limit to how much one person can be expected to do.   

I'm sorry NormanH - I'm not sure if you are trying to help me or attacking me without knowing all the details.  I own my own home (it's all in my name) and I work full time in a job where I have to put up with moral harrassement, hard work and nearly an hours travelling each way to work.  I have to work weekends and Wednesdays so never have proper time off with my kids.  I have to fight my employers for my rights to proper holidays, pay that has been deducted from my salary by mistake (so called error) and I am fighting all the time not to take my frustration out on my kids when I do spend time with them. So do you think I have the time or inclination or energy come to that to find a lover (rich or otherwise! Money does not bring happiness to most of us).  I appreciate everyone taking the time to post messages and listen to me prattling on to get this out of my system (if that's possible) but please I would prefer  NormanH if you kept any  future comments to yourself. Thankyou to everyone else who have posted.  It has made me quite emotional to know that there are a lot of kind people out there who do care about others and take the time to try and help.

Thanks Will for the thought.  I had actually found this site this morning and found it a little helpful.  The 'personality' types have put some things into perspective.  He is between type 1 and 3 whereas I am between type 4 and 6.  Totally imcompatible? I also did the 'depression' test a couple of times and the 'arrow' went immediately to the end of the scale so is my problem just plain good old depression or is it my marraige?  There is a catch 22 situation huh? Have not received a message from you yet - must still be in the pipeline somewhere!

John, thanks for your comments.  I disagree that blunt is better - not in all cases.  I can be very blunt myself sometimes but it comes with a chance of alianting people that otherwise are good friends/nice people.  There is a limit to what you can say and what you should hold back on! I do not know why I used the word partner.  He is my husband of 30 years but perhaps sometimes it feels more like a partnership than a marraige.!?  

I appreciate all the comments here though it took a while through the blur of tears.  It was obvious the ones that came from the men because they seemed a bit more 'blunt'.  My comment about 'someone else coming on the scene' was not meant to be flippant!  It is how I feel in the present situation and I can assure you after 30 years of marraige it would not be done ON A WHIM.  Yes there is the telephone but it is not an option for deep and meaningful conversations where the kids can overhear you and at times can leave you wishing you hadn't said something because it is taken the wrong way or is taken out of context so when you put the phone down these things can then fester.  The telephone is o.k for "how are you"? What have you been doing to day?".  I do appreciate the other half has a lot to put up with (lonliness, boredom....) but he complains about it and does nothing about it.  He hasn't got dependants to worry about when he has finished work - his time is his own for hobbies etc.  and this is part of what I resent. Perhaps it is because I have changed as a person?  I used to rely on him to do most things but in the last few years I have had to do so much and have the responsibility of coping 'on my own' that I now realise I don't need him to run my life.  Please offer any more comments because they do help. 

Thanks for the reply - it's nice to know other people have similar problems going on.  You say you have been here 18 months - still in the holiday period then?  It's generally judged that the first 12 - 18 months is the 'holiday' period the following year(ish) reality starts to kick in and if you can get past that period you will probably stay long term.  Do you think your move was worth it?  Is your life any happier, settled?  Sorry, after reading this statement over it seems to be a bit harsh - it's not written with that meaning.  I hope you are very happy here! Your statement about being from a generation that 'put up with things' does not offend!  My 40's are quickly coming to an end so I am almost in the same catagory.  Perhaps that is part of my 'problem' -  I wanted to move here to take up a challenge and not carry on in a rut for the rest of my life.  Now I am in a different country and whilst I have new adventures and challenges to overcome I still feel my life is floundering somewhat. C'est la vie!!

For all of you women out there (and I guess there might be some men) in the situation of having the other half still living/working in england and commuting -  does it bother you?  What sort of problems do you have if any! I have been here with the kids for over 4 years now with partner still 'visiting' about once a month and to be honest I find it hard going when he's here (so do the kid's sometimes as well).  The problem is that we have are life arranged to suit us and our clubs, friends etc which the other half is not involved in so he expects us to put our lives on hold for the week he is here.  He's the one 'suffering' the lonely life in england to keep us in the good life over here.  I have a full time job so all he contributes now is basically the cost of some building work as and when necessary and a bit of food brought from england ( the bacon, cheese etc.!).  I really resent this attitude sometimes and then other times I feel guilty because he is still stuck over there (but I think it's still a bit of his lack of confidence to make the complete move over here).  Is this normal feelings that other people have in the same situation or is it the beginnings of another 'life change'  because I do feel honestly that I am living in limbo.  I haven't got that special person to discuss my feelings, everyday worries with, and I am seriously feeling that if someone else came onto the scene it wouldn't take too much to put an end to my marraige.  I really would appreciate other peoples perspective on this because I am not longer sure if it is just because I am a bit lonely or depressed or whether it is a problem that is suffered by others in the same situation. Thanks in anticipation

Thanks for that!  Have scrolled through that and some other sites I have found and think i have understood most of it.  One thing I am not sure of is does my employer HAVE to make an appointment for me to see the medecin de travail and if so how quickly must he do this from my first day back.  I have a feeling I am going to be send back to work by my GP before I am 100% better and will carry on having painful problems.  I suppose I will have to grin and bear it!

I suffered an accident de travail in august, was sent back to work in october which lasted all of two days after which I was in so much pain I had to stop again.  I have been having physio twice a week throughout and although this has helped I am still in pain after driving for more than 10/15 mins or after doing housework (similar to that which I do at my employment)..  My GP is now pushing to send me back to work although I feel I am not ready.  (I feel I need to be 100% fit to cope with the moral harrassement I have been suffering at the hotel).  Can anyone therefore let me know what the procedure is for returning to work after an accident.  I have been told it is the Medecin de Travail who must give you the all clear but my GP is addamant that he has the right to send me back to work.  I get the impression he is more worried about the CPAM being on his back than he is about my well being! [:(]

Have heard there could be a problem there but that is all - sorry!  Apparently it's causing quite a 'stink'  !!!!![Www]

Hi  Just saw your post about moral harrassement and wondered how you were getting on?  I am going through the same thing at the moment but the harrassement is coming from my bosses so there is no one higher up that I can complain to!!  Having been off work due to an 'accident de travil' for the last two and half months my doctor now wants to send me back in a couple of weeks.  He did send me back last month but I only managed 2 days before the pain in my back and neck got bad again.  In that two days NO ONE spoke to me and I have been segregated from the other personnel at lunch time.(I now have to eat later and on my own).  I am really stressing out about having to go back as I still have quite a bit of pain and I know that I will not be able to cope with the moral harrassemtent while I am not 100% fit.  At the best of times I walk around the hotel shaking and near to tears (another lady left with severe depression after being treated the same way).  I really cannot understand what the problem is because last year it was a whole lot more sociable and there was no problems with anyone.  Now I've got that off my chest just like to say I hope you are faring better than me!!!!

Yet another query from my friend (was I right to get involved.!!) She is currently using E111 which I understand is valid until end of this year. She draws her money from her ex's account in U.K. via machine each month so if she went for her carte vitale would this be enough proof of income. And would this be the only proof she would need? Or if she signed on with ANPE and got a job would she then be covered with her security sociale number and carte vitale. Perhaps this would be the easier option for her under her circumstances (which believe me are very complicated). Her french is non-existant, hence me becoming the problem solver!

My friend who is her with her two children (split amicably from her husband who is still in U.K.) wants to get a bank loan for new (secondhand car french). The only income she has is money she draws from her husbands u.k. account each week. Will this be enough 'proof' of income (the receipts she gets from the cash machine) to impress the bank manager. I don't think so but then I have been known to be wrong once or twice (or three times or more.....!) Any help would be appreciated as she sees the bank manager next week.

>I have been asked to help >at an after school club, >listening to the children read, >help with simple sums etc.!!! > >It is something I can do, > You won't know til you try! And if you find that it is impossible will it have hurt anyone? The positive is that you have been asked and will be 'accepted' into the community more for it. Good luck

>We only became the owners last >week, and the first bill's >arrived in the UK already >- very efficient! >There's a tear-off portion with the >bill, which I assume gets >sent back to EDF, but >with what? My bank details >so that CA pays it >direct? A cheque? Help! >We don't want to set up >a direct debit, but prefer >to pay 'as and when' >the bill comes. > >Pete I always send a cheque as this keeps the information on your cheque stub in date order of payment whereas using a RIB can be missed when tallying up your payments. Make sure you do not sign the tear off piece of the bill!

My friend is filling in her first tax form and I don't know the answer to her question. She lives here with her children, seperated from her husband who still lives in U.K. He gives her an allowance each week which she draws from an account in England. Tax office has sent a letter asking for details of how much she has had to live on. Surely this is none of their business as it is her husband who is paying his tax in U.K. Can she tell them (politely of course) to mind their own business?

When I'm in my car or trying to get to sleep at night I have perfect conversations in french with all sorts of 'people' but when I get in a situation that I'm caught off guard and have not 'prepared' myself of phrases I might need I go to pieces! Still better now than 12 months ago Alma

My friend's husband lives and works in U.K. and has done since she moved here with the kids. Last year she had her tax form sent back/had to fill in a second form with his details on. Why? as all he pays her is a weekly allowance. (they are not separated as yet but it is on the cards!) Can she this year just refuse to put his name on the form as he is not a resident?