Alma

Thanks Ame,  watch this space

Ame - I think things have gone too far me now to want to help them!  They are even down to washing most of their own sheets now to save money so I think they must be on the way out.  As for suggesting buying more towels etc   been there, done that, got told to mind my own business (but not that politely!)[blink]

Ame, you are quite right. They took over this business last year and I was 'in it' from the beginning as a 'new' employee.  I really felt like 'one of the family' and the working atmosphere was really good and I really felt like I wanted them to make a success.  I think the problems are probably showing that perhaps the business is struggling financially but surely that should be a reason to keep your good employees on side not use them to take out the frustrations of failure!?

Thanks a lot Cathy, I think I have understood it but will talk about it with the man at the CGT tomorrow.  Looks like a way out assuming my bosses will co-operate of course!  Many thanks.

Thanks Clair,  I was worried that I was perhaps imagining my problems.  I have had a lot of moral harrassement this year (the other lady who did the job when I was on my days off left because she was suffering with very bad depression because of the way she was being treated.  Since she left all the things that were being done to her are now being put onto me.  My contract is femme de menage/polyvalent depending on which piece of paper you look at:  contract says polyvalent but everything else (payslip, tax forms etc say femme de menage).  Nothing specified but my boss has had me painting and gardening which I now know is not part of my job discription so I am expecting an arguement when I refuse to do this again when I am instructed to do it this winter. My bosses are not the sort of people that will discuss these things unless everything is going their way - if they do not like what they here they fly off the handle and it causes even more problems!  That's why the other lady had such a problem - she tried to discuss a problem. I am seeing the CGT (union) at the moment about some other issues that I have with them (mainly wanting my money they owe me) so they might be able to bring this into it.  Unfortuneately moral harrassement is against the law here but a case has never been successful because it is not possible to prove it.  Catch 22?! I am trying to find another job but it not easy with limited french.  I explain that to french people (doctor etc..) but they don't seem to understand what a big problem that is.  It took me 2 years to get this job after many ignored job applications and interviews,  Unfortenatly I cannot afford to not work and if I quit I am not entitled to unemployment for 4 months.  

AME I agree - the problem this year was that everything changed and I was left most of the time to do everything on my own.  Starting with sweeping and mopping throughout downstairs corridors and restaraunts, cleaning toilets putting the first load of laundry on (previous nights kitchen and restaraunt stuff), carry all clean sheets upstairs (3 flights) plus baskets of towels.  Most mornings I managed to start the actual bedrooms by about 9:45 (if any of the guests had left!).  There are fifteen ensuite rooms most with more than one bed.  Because of the boss didn't want to spend out on any more towels this year we were running on a 'just enough' basis so I was having to run up and down to get the towels washed inbetween doing the bedrooms.  I had help sometimes of a young waitress (16) trainee but because she was absolutely rubbish I ended up either having to redo all her work or got reprimanded about the state of the cleaning! The rooms had to be finished by 2 o'clock because that's when the guests could start arriving but quite often alot of the old guests didn't check out until 12 o'clock.  Then expected to finish off dirty pots and pans and any dishes left from the lazy gits in the kitchen, sweeping through the restaurants again because the waitresses don't consider it their job and having to finish the laundry and any other jobs that the boss decides he wants done. i.e. cleaning out the commercial dishwasher, cleaning down surfaces in kitchen...... I am conciencous (spelling!!) with my work but have felt this year that I am being exploited (especially with other problems like not being paid for extra hours I have worked etc).  My boss is always reprimanding me (in front of other staff) for silly things, complaining that I am not working fast enough, silly things taken singly but when they go on all day everyday it is hard to work properly.  I am at the stage where I often find myself having anxiety attacks (crying, palpatations, trembling etc) which does affect my work.  Is this normal for the hotel industry.  I have heard that it is a difficult industry to be in.

How long were you expected to take to do your 20 rooms?

Has anyone out there got experiance in the hotel cleaning side of things?  I would like to know how many ensuite bedrooms you should be expected to do and in what time capactity should it take you to do each average room.  I accept that in the height of the season there is more work to do but there must still be a limit to how much one person can be expected to do.   

I'm sorry NormanH - I'm not sure if you are trying to help me or attacking me without knowing all the details.  I own my own home (it's all in my name) and I work full time in a job where I have to put up with moral harrassement, hard work and nearly an hours travelling each way to work.  I have to work weekends and Wednesdays so never have proper time off with my kids.  I have to fight my employers for my rights to proper holidays, pay that has been deducted from my salary by mistake (so called error) and I am fighting all the time not to take my frustration out on my kids when I do spend time with them. So do you think I have the time or inclination or energy come to that to find a lover (rich or otherwise! Money does not bring happiness to most of us).  I appreciate everyone taking the time to post messages and listen to me prattling on to get this out of my system (if that's possible) but please I would prefer  NormanH if you kept any  future comments to yourself. Thankyou to everyone else who have posted.  It has made me quite emotional to know that there are a lot of kind people out there who do care about others and take the time to try and help.

Thanks Will for the thought.  I had actually found this site this morning and found it a little helpful.  The 'personality' types have put some things into perspective.  He is between type 1 and 3 whereas I am between type 4 and 6.  Totally imcompatible? I also did the 'depression' test a couple of times and the 'arrow' went immediately to the end of the scale so is my problem just plain good old depression or is it my marraige?  There is a catch 22 situation huh? Have not received a message from you yet - must still be in the pipeline somewhere!

John, thanks for your comments.  I disagree that blunt is better - not in all cases.  I can be very blunt myself sometimes but it comes with a chance of alianting people that otherwise are good friends/nice people.  There is a limit to what you can say and what you should hold back on! I do not know why I used the word partner.  He is my husband of 30 years but perhaps sometimes it feels more like a partnership than a marraige.!?  

I appreciate all the comments here though it took a while through the blur of tears.  It was obvious the ones that came from the men because they seemed a bit more 'blunt'.  My comment about 'someone else coming on the scene' was not meant to be flippant!  It is how I feel in the present situation and I can assure you after 30 years of marraige it would not be done ON A WHIM.  Yes there is the telephone but it is not an option for deep and meaningful conversations where the kids can overhear you and at times can leave you wishing you hadn't said something because it is taken the wrong way or is taken out of context so when you put the phone down these things can then fester.  The telephone is o.k for "how are you"? What have you been doing to day?".  I do appreciate the other half has a lot to put up with (lonliness, boredom....) but he complains about it and does nothing about it.  He hasn't got dependants to worry about when he has finished work - his time is his own for hobbies etc.  and this is part of what I resent. Perhaps it is because I have changed as a person?  I used to rely on him to do most things but in the last few years I have had to do so much and have the responsibility of coping 'on my own' that I now realise I don't need him to run my life.  Please offer any more comments because they do help. 

Thanks for the reply - it's nice to know other people have similar problems going on.  You say you have been here 18 months - still in the holiday period then?  It's generally judged that the first 12 - 18 months is the 'holiday' period the following year(ish) reality starts to kick in and if you can get past that period you will probably stay long term.  Do you think your move was worth it?  Is your life any happier, settled?  Sorry, after reading this statement over it seems to be a bit harsh - it's not written with that meaning.  I hope you are very happy here! Your statement about being from a generation that 'put up with things' does not offend!  My 40's are quickly coming to an end so I am almost in the same catagory.  Perhaps that is part of my 'problem' -  I wanted to move here to take up a challenge and not carry on in a rut for the rest of my life.  Now I am in a different country and whilst I have new adventures and challenges to overcome I still feel my life is floundering somewhat. C'est la vie!!

For all of you women out there (and I guess there might be some men) in the situation of having the other half still living/working in england and commuting -  does it bother you?  What sort of problems do you have if any! I have been here with the kids for over 4 years now with partner still 'visiting' about once a month and to be honest I find it hard going when he's here (so do the kid's sometimes as well).  The problem is that we have are life arranged to suit us and our clubs, friends etc which the other half is not involved in so he expects us to put our lives on hold for the week he is here.  He's the one 'suffering' the lonely life in england to keep us in the good life over here.  I have a full time job so all he contributes now is basically the cost of some building work as and when necessary and a bit of food brought from england ( the bacon, cheese etc.!).  I really resent this attitude sometimes and then other times I feel guilty because he is still stuck over there (but I think it's still a bit of his lack of confidence to make the complete move over here).  Is this normal feelings that other people have in the same situation or is it the beginnings of another 'life change'  because I do feel honestly that I am living in limbo.  I haven't got that special person to discuss my feelings, everyday worries with, and I am seriously feeling that if someone else came onto the scene it wouldn't take too much to put an end to my marraige.  I really would appreciate other peoples perspective on this because I am not longer sure if it is just because I am a bit lonely or depressed or whether it is a problem that is suffered by others in the same situation. Thanks in anticipation

Thanks for that!  Have scrolled through that and some other sites I have found and think i have understood most of it.  One thing I am not sure of is does my employer HAVE to make an appointment for me to see the medecin de travail and if so how quickly must he do this from my first day back.  I have a feeling I am going to be send back to work by my GP before I am 100% better and will carry on having painful problems.  I suppose I will have to grin and bear it!