just john

Valentino Rossi wins the French MotoGP to move top of the world championship standings.

he said, ''I really think you should sit on the naughty step, Mais bon sang! you had a lovely day but you've spoilt everything. I shan't let you play with that again believe me, and you'll be the one who'll miss it most! just who will ever let you play with them again? you have some serious issues you must address young lady! Delicately Claude positioned a pad from Lorraines handbag, as he had seen her do on more occasions than he cared to remember, collected his personal posessions and with as much imperturbabilité as he could muster, got a lovely nursey at A&E to sew it back on for him; afterwards she made him a nice cup of thé. He thought tonight he would go straight to the bar without calling on Lorraine, just to make it clear to her how cross she had made him, he got up to leave and nursey said . . .

In a broken dream is this the best rod of all [8-|]

AR the original is It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. - George Burns The real fountain of youth is to have a dirty mind! - Jerry Hall

A couple of Spits are based at Filton, Bristol, I believe and certainly one was flying around yesterday for about 10 minutes, I wonder if it was a warm up for this. You could hear it right through the house and even better outside but not see it above the cloud, fantastic primeval sound! 

Just to be pedantic CL, Mercedes actually did it three times [8-|] http://www.geocities.com/simontmallett/clk4.html [Www]

PLAT DE JOUR!!! The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive sexily dressed young woman. And was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful swine!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children ! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away !'  (I think she's Australian) And the husband replied 'Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.'  'Fine,go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!' And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days ! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments. Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't use because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste.  I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has a pair the same.' The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Thank-you so much, I'd be happy to have anything else that your wife doesn't use . . .'        

Neil Diamond songs, Everybody knows one

Don't be yourself - be someone a little nicer.  ~ Mignon McLaughlin

June's a coming by gum [8-|]

Raining again[:(] no doubt Krusty would like this one, [8-|] May was full of promises But she didn't keep 'em quickly enough for some And the crowd of doubtin' Thomases Was predictin' that the summer'd never come But it's comin' by gum, you can hear it come, You can hear it in the trees, You can smell it in the breeze Look around! Look around! Look around!                        -   Carousel - Oscar Hammerstein  

O M G - Farcus Bubblelips - Russethouse and I have no comment at this time [8-|]

Citric acid is not essential but prolongs life, not much point if family are going to drink it all one afternoon and you make leftovers into sorbet! [8-|] Nannys favourite: 30 elderflower heads 6 pints (3L) boiling water 2lb (1K) caster sugar citric acid (not essential but helps it keep longer) 2 oranges 3 lemons Better to gently immerse elderflowers in clean water so as to remove creatures but not to remove too much pollen with water jets etc, drain. Pour boiling boiling water over the sugar in large bowl Stir well and leave to cool, Add oranges and lemons sliced, then elderflowers, citric acid to keep, Leave for 24 hours with occasional stir (some of you should be good at that)[:D] Strain through muslin and pour into sterilised bottles Can be frozen diluted in ice-cubes for drinks (any clear spirit will do!) or lollies to suck, icecream machines and makes a refreshing sorbet, If you are into japanese tempura you can also deepfry elderflower dunked in a light beer batter on its own, or serve as a sophisticated pud, sprinkled with cinnamon sugar, cointreau, and plop of vanilla ice cream, mmm  Best not pick elderflowers by a road, Avoid plant creatures before picking and only pick the best blossoms (not withered), stalks make it easy to pick and handle. Carry home carefully in a bag to retain pollen  

Lucky tank slapper for price of a couple of broken ankles! 

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. ~ Gilda Radner

My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it. Quentin Crisp

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." -- Winston Churchill He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -- Winston Churchill " A modest little person, with much to be modest about." -- Winston Churchill

LITTLE JOHNNY ON GETTING OLDER Little JOHNNY was sitting in the park scoffing one chocolate bar after another. After the 6th one an old man next to him said, "eating all that chocolate isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat." Little JOHNNY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old." The man asked, "But did your grandfather eat 6 chocolate bars at a time?" Little JOHNNY answered, "No, but he minded his own damn business. . ."

Fantastic start to my rainy sunday morning [8-|] http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=YdcsoninqBo

What is he like ! the gap behind him  . . . [8-|] http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/motorsport/motorbikes/7382670.stm http://www.bebo.com/FlashBox.jsp?FlashBoxId=4867370802&FlashViewType=Personal&MemberId=4968119535

"An after-dinner speech should be like a lady's dress - long enough to cover the subject and short enough to be interesting.".                                                                                                         - Rab Butler (1951–1955)

Since I shared the 'wrong bike' around a few friends I haven't bought a beer for a week, they're still laughing too, especially the four line delivery of the specification apparently!  I owe you a beer, BB keep it up VFR [8-|]

Take a look at the Euro this morning, [:)] that should tell you something.  Going . . .   Going . . . . .

was no longer feeling depressed, Claude the swarthy young blacksmith had said to her, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, totally dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If it ever happens, just pull the plug.' She had got up, unplugged the TV, and threw out his wine,[8-|] there was only one thing left for him to do now . . .

A woman is only a woman, but a good Cigar is a Smoke - The Betrothed - Rudyard Kipling - of course Bill Clinton managed to combine the two [8-|]