Racerbear02

In 1923, Who Was: 1. President of the largest steel company? 2.. President of the largest gas company? 3. President of the New York stock Exchange? 4 Greatest wheat speculator? 5. Great Bear of Wall Street? These men were considered some of the worlds most successful of their days. Now, 88 years later, the history book asks us, if we know what ultimately became of them The Answers: 1. The president of the largest steel company Charles Schwab Died a pauper. 2. The president of the largest gas company Edward Hopson Went insane. 3. The president of the NYSE Richard Whitney Was released from prison to die at home. 4. The greatest wheat speculator Arthur Cooger Died abroad, penniless. 5 The Great Bear of Wall Street Cosabee Livermore, Committed suicide However, In that same year, 1923, The winner of the worlds most important road race, The Isle of Man T.T. Stanley Woods. What became of him? He won 10 T.T. Races between 1923 and 1939, He lived on the Isle of Man and rode motorcycles all his life. He lapped the island circuit at 82 mph in 1957 (The Golden Jubilee) aged 54.  He was a wealthy man when he died aged 90. Having had the pleasure and privilge of meeting him, I can also add that he was a true gentleman as well. The Moral: F**K WORK. Ride motorbikes.[:D]

TV executive Sir Peter Bazalgette has been appointed chairman of the Arts Council England, the Department of Culture has said. His Endemol production company is behind high-profile hits including Big Brother and Deal Or No Deal. His great-great- grandfather was Sir Joseph William Bazalgette, CB (28 March 1819 – 15 March 1891) an English civil engineer of the 19th century. As chief engineer of London's Metropolitan Board of Works his major achievement was the creation (in response to the "Great Stink" of 1858) of a sewer network for central London which was instrumental in relieving the city from cholera epidemics, while beginning the cleansing of the River Thames. So Joseph Bazalgette was responsible for pumping sh*t out of our homes while Peter .......

I received an email today from a young, attractive Russian girl who wants me to fly her over to the UK so that we can get married. I'm not falling for that one though. She's just after the money I won yesterday on the Ugandan Lottery.

Nick Clegg walked into a branch of HSBC to cash a cheque. A s he approached the cashier he said "Good morning , could you please cash this cheque for me"? Cashier: "It would be my pleasure Sir. Could you please show me your ID?" Clegg: "Well I didn’t bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Nick Clegg, the Deputy Prime Minister!!!" Cashier: "I’m sorry, but with all the regulations, monitoring, of the banks because of impostors and forgers, etc. I must insist on proof of identity." Clegg: "Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am." Cashier: "I am sorry Deputy Prime Minister but these are the bank rules and I must follow them." Clegg: "But I need this cheque cashed, its very important" Cashier: "Perhaps there’s another way: One day Colin Montgomery came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Colin Montgomery he pulled out his putting iron and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that particular shot we knew him to be Colin Montgomery and cashed his cheque. Another time, Andy Murray came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that spectacular aim we cashed his cheque.. So sir, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, as the Deputy Prime Minister?" Clegg stood there thinking and finally says: "Honestly, I can't think of a single thing I'm good at." Cashier: "Will that be large or small notes, Deputy Prime Minister?"

Supposed to be a joke.... has a certain ring of truth.... We live in a country called Daftland The England we knew is no more Where sensible people do ludicrous things Or risk breaking some Daftland law. In Daftland we've police dogs with muzzles Less the villain has cause to complain And to steal from a shop and say 'sorry' Means your free with no stain to your name. You had better leave lights on in buildings When you lock up and go home at night 'cause the burglars might hurt themselves entering And there's no way you'll be in the right. When speaking be wary in Daftland As some terms that you've used all your life Now have connotations unintended And you'll end up in all sorts of strife. We elect politicians in Daftland To give us the laws of the land Yet eight laws in ten now come from abroad The whole thing has got out of hand. The borders are open in Daftland And of migrants there's no keeping track Just a few of the thousands illegally here Will ever be caught and sent back. The exception to this is the hero Who fought for this land in the war He's old and he's sick, he might cost us a bit So he's not welcome here any more. When the history is written of Daftland Historians may just recall That the craziest people in Daftland Were the public who put up with it all.

I don't know if anyone saw this, but worth a read http://lci.tf1.fr/france/societe/rafle-du-vel-d-hiv-l-hommage-et-l-oubli-7416881.html

A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks. His first job is to clear the fish pool of weeds. Whilst he is doing this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who's boss, he bashes it with a spade. Realizing his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything. Moving on to his second job of clearing out the Chimpanzee house, he is attacked by the chimps and pelted with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade, unfortunately killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything... He moves on to the last job, which is to collect honey from South American Bees. As soon as he starts gathering the honey he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and lashes out, killing many bees. By now he knows what to do and shovels them into the lions' cage, because lions eat anything. Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo...he wanders over to another lion and asks, "What's the food like here?" . . . . . . The lions say: "Absolutely brilliant. Today we had Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees!

EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 50 Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags. Then try 50-lb potato bags and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.(I'm at this level.)   After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.

I read it earlier in the year at the behest of a friend, I couldn't put it down,  as you said, based on fact and really well written. Well worth reading.

Now that the poison dwarf is out of work, perhaps the lovely Carla will sing for France next year??  that would guarantee that whoever sung for the UK would not be last[:D]

Recipes sounds about right but don't forget to put the fat (goose fat is best I think) in the tins and get them smoking hot BEFORE putting the mixture in, then resist the temptation to open the oven door early. If you liked Aunt Bessies [+o(] then done this way, with this recipe, you are in for a real treat [:D]

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an  Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several  Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a  Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan,  a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a  Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a  Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman  Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an  Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an  Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a  Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, aHungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an  Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a  Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a  Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a  Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a  Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans,    ...Walk into a fine  restaurant.   "I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group.     "You can't come in here  without a Thai. "

First day back at school in Birmingham..... The teacher began calling out the names of the pupils : "Mustafa El Ekh Zeri?" "Here." "Achmed El Kabul?" "Here." "Fatima Al Chadoury? " "Here." "Abdul Alu Ohlmi?" "Here." "Mohammed Ibn Achrha?" "Here." "Mi Cha El Mey Er" Silence in the classroom. "Mi Cha El Mey Er" Continued silence as everyone looked around the room. She repeated, "Is there any child here called Mi Cha El Mey Er ?" A boy arose and said, "Sorry teacher. I think that's me. It's pronounced Michael Meyer".

Brains of Britain....     UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2) Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'? Contestant: Homosexuals. Jeremy Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you   BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2) Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is? Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point. Jamie Theakston: There's a clue in the title. Contestant: Leicester   BBC NORFOLK Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World? Contestant: I don't know. Stewart White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow? Contestant: Arm Stewart White: Correct And if you're not weak, you're...? Contestant: Strong. Stewart White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name? Contestant: Louis Stewart White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World? Contestant: Frank Sinatra?   LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS ) Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy ? Contestant: France Trelinski: France is another country. Try again. Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm. Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon? Contestant: Sorry, I don't know. Trelinski: Just guess a country then. Contestant: Paris                                        THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2) Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or the Conservative Party? Contestant: The Conservative Party.     BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON ) DJ Mark: For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope? Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?   UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE Bamber Gascoyne: What was Gandhi's first name? Contestant: Goosey?   GWR FM ( Bristol ) Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963 ? Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.   PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO -   MANCHESTER ) Phil: What's 11 squared? Contestant: I don't know. Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle. Contestant: Is it five?   RICHARD AND JUDY Richard: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman? Contestant: Forrest Gump.   RICHARD AND JUDY Richard: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live? Contestant: Er. .. ... Richard: He makes bread . . .. Contestant: Er . ..... Richard: He makes cakes . . .. Contestant: Kipling Street ?   LINCS FM PHONE-IN Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world? Contestant: Barcelona Presenter: I was really after the name of a country. Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain   NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1) Question: What is the world's largest continent? Contestant: The Pacific.   ROCK FM ( PRESTON ) Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo DA Vinci. Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?   THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV) Steve Le Fevre: What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918? Contestant: Magna Carta?   JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC) James O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry? Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER. ER ... Three?   CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL ) Chris Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna? Caller: Japan Chris Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again. Caller: Er ..... Mexico ?   PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE ) Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last? Contestant (long pause): Fourteen days.   DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO) Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels? Contestant: Holland ? Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet. Contestant: Iceland ? Ireland ? Daryl Denham: (helpfully) It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ? Contestant: No.   PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR) Phil Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible? Contestant: Er. ... ... Phil Wood: It's got two syllables . . .. Kor . . Contestant: Blimey? Phil Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .... Contestant: (Silence) Phil Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .. Contestant: Walked?   THE VAULT Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time? Contestant: Nostalgia.   LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB) Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes? Contestant: Jewish. Presenter: That's close enough.   STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2) Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play? Contestant: Jesus.

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you; I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you; I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then an MP came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The MP was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen MPs lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

I agree with most people, bin the lavender fields, allow the working part of the page to expand to full screen, not a major problem on a big monitor, but a total waste of real estate on a small one.

Appallingly slow to load pages UPDATE Desperately, mindblowingly slow [:(]

Thanks all, much appreciated [:D]

Can anyone advise what is the legal position regarding these in France please?  I am talking about push bikes which have auxiliary electric motors to ease hill climbing etc. Do they need to be registered? Do they need to be insured? Do you have to wear a motorcycle, or indeed any, safety helmet? Any other regulations?  or are they totally illegal?

Pythagoras' Theorem: .............................24 words. Lord's Prayer: .......................................... 66 words. Archimedes' Principle: .................................67 words. Ten Commandments: ..................................179 words. Gettysburg Address: ......................................286 words. US Declaration of Independence: ...................1,300 words. US Constitution with all 27 Amendments: ..........7,818 words. EU Regulations on the Sale of CABBAGES: .....................26,911 words  

This, apparently, is an actual letter received by the UK Passport Office. You may believe it or not [:D] Dear Sirs, I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 1987, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was bloody born and on what date. For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my pension book, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my National Health card, my driving license, my car insurance, on the last six damn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms. Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Mary Anne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely  bloody  astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!! I apologise, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my bloody address!!!! What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthal a***holes working there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for fuck sakes. I just want to go and park my arse on some sandy beach somewhere. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, you'd be the last bloody people I'd want to tell! Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the poxy city to get another bloody copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of £30. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooooooooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the bloody place like chickens with our heads cut off, then have to find some a***hole to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic bloody morons) Hey, do you know why we couldn't smile if we wanted to? Because we're totally pissed off! Signed An Irate Citizen. P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 .......... I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had full security clearances over 25 of those years enabling me to undertake highly secretive missions all over the world. ......... However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am  - you know, someone like my doctor - WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN F***ING PAKISTAN ! Sincerely,

Thanks, I had not found that during my search. Guess the dwarf is best for us then [:(]

I notice that M. Hollande ( assuming elected )is proposing a wealth tax on incomes of over 1,000,000 Euros a year, not a problem for most of use, but the article also said that he was planning on changing a lot of the reforms that the dwarf had introduced, I have done a quick search, but can find nothing on his views on AE, does anyone know where he stands on this??

I also have bought a number of things of Leboncoin, in all cases the sales have gone smoothly, I bought a car, left a deposit, in cash, came back and paid the balance with a CA bank cheque which the owner verified in advance with the bank, no problems at all. However be aware that there are a large number of arnaquers on there, if it is too cheap, ask yourself why, caveat emptor !

Well if Carla is as successful in promoting Sarko as she has been in her modelling and singing careers then Hollande must be celebrating his victory already [:D]