STORY AT BED TIME Miss Coochie,

[Henry100]

                                                                                            Miss Coochie,

We as kids did not have a lot of places to play really And i did not know of anyone in our street who owned a Telephone, We did have a Public Phone Box at the end of the street and it was a  meeting place for all the kids, If the phone rang one of the kids would Grap the hand set and shout Hello, who do you want? The caller would give details of the address for the kid to go and knock on the door and tell the who ever opened the door  someone wanted them on the phone, But 9 times out of 10 the kid would tell the caller I will go and get them, And then put the hand set down "Ending the call "completely  cutting the caller off,

But we did have the old railway embankment to play in the long grass, And we did spend a lot of time keeping away from the "WITCH"

Miss Coochie,

She lived alone and her looks alone scared all the kids, She had long white hair that looked like she'd put her finger in an Electric plug

And turned the Electricity on, She dressed in a mans collarless shirt, black dress and a sack like pinny around her waist, her legs we're all red and looked burned because she got to close to the fire, Her only footwear we're Tartan material with what looked like glass eye's sewn into each side and a fold over so she could get her feet into these slippers,

She had very very long Nail's and a long  Nose and eyes that never seemed to blink, just stare ,

Although the area was a slum area most houses had the windows cleaned by the local window cleaner twice a month, and every week most houses had both the door step and paving slabs washed, The door step was cleaned using a rough like covering that dried a mushroom coloring , And No kids allowed to step on this step, (USE THE BACK DOOR) was often heard being screamed out by the mother's,

But Miss Couchie never ever had the Window's or Step cleaned, The window cleaner would joke and say he'd need a spade to clean those window's never mind a chamois leather and scrim,

No one ever talked to her and the only visitor she had was some old man dressed in a shirt and tie and black over coat and hat, we would see him on a Saturday delivering her bag of groceries, He would tip his hat to anyone looking at him as he entered the house with his own Key to the door, But that was it.

We had a family at the far end of our street who had two kids, one a girl a lot older than me I was 5 yrs & 3/4 old and this girl was really old (about 11 or 12yrs) with red and yellow spots on her face, and John Lennon specs,

Her younger Brother "Simon" Known by the other kids as simple, was a little older than me 6yrs old and he had one eye that was trying to look at his other eye and we we're told Miss Couchie Put a spell on him and his sister because they we're " NOT" Catholics or Irish, And that's why the girl looked like a piece of "Blotting paper" with her red/yellow spot's And they should not live in our street,

They we're "EVIL SINNERS"

Simon had a hell of a time trying to join in any games we played in the street, And hence he was the "Divvi, Kid,

A divvi in Liverpool terms is like a circle with the inner being divided into sections to fill the complete inside of the circle,

Now if one piece of that inner circle is missing !!!!  Then a bit of those divisions  is missing "the circle" Is not all there hence anyone not all there in Liverpool terms is called a bit of a DIVVI,  (The odd one out) or not a full shilling) Only half cooked etc

 

So we kids did not want to have a spotty face or one eye watching the other eye all the time, And kept away from this strange "WITCH" at all cost, But sometimes as we played on the old railway grass "One of the kids would see "The WITCH" stooping down in the long grass with her sack pinny folded and putting magic weeds for making spells into the folded pinny,

We'd all lay down flat to hide until she'd gone away,

On a Friday at the very far end of our street a horse drawn coach would be parked outside of one of the houses,

This coach had a hand painted writing saying "LIVERPOOL STEAM CLEANING SERVICES" It was a company that went around all the Hotels/old people homes etc collecting dirty sheets etc and getting them cleaned and returned, We think the driver of this horse drawn coach visited the old lady who lived in that house, But us kids coming home from school would all stop to see this BIG BLACK HORSE eating from a sack bag over his Nose, We called him "SILVER"

( well we'd never heard of any other horses name,)

And both the boy's and girl's would stand waiting for SILVER to deliver his droppings PLOP PLOP And SPLASH SPLASH And the girls would hold their noses and scream and us lads thought it was a great sight to see before your supper,

On a Friday my Dad finished early 4pm and me mum would get the old tin bath off the back yard wall and fill it with hot water ready for when he got home,

We only had a thing called a Gas geezer mounted on the kitchen wall, How the hell me Mum filled that bath up with hot water Christ only knows,

We kids had to stay outside while me dad sat in front of the coal fire bathing himself and getting ready for his Friday night drinking spree with Billy Cockgraven,

By 5pm Me Dad was changed and in & out of the front door looking to see if Billy's CO-OP  coal wagon was parked outside his house opposite  our house,

The more times me dad went in & out our front door the more he'd get upset, Where is he, the bloody Pubs will be dry if he's any longer,

Me mum gave me a note and said( do not let your dad  see this,)    

Go to Cammy's (the corner shop) and give this to Cammy

All the lads in our street had their own invisible horse and to go faster you smacked the top side of your bum, and to stop this invisible horse you pulled like hell on the straps   And so off i went, I met One of me mates  he was on his horse and as we talked these two horses kept turning and jumping about "But we kept them in order and after making arrangements for a footy match later off we went on our way's,

Cammy's corner shop was run by the owner "Cammy" and she stood no messing, if you owed her money for goods and you we're a late payer ? Your details would be in her shop window for all to see,

As a kid you had to have good manners and wait until Cammy said it was your turn,  But all the old women would be in the shop spreading gossip,

I had tied my Invisible horse up outside in an Invisible knot only known to to me "So no one could take it,

As i went inside the shop the bell above the door went DING DING and everyone turned and looked at me,

The old Farts continued to gossip and i tried to stay awake And then Cammy said  Did you want something young man?

Both old fart's  looked at me and as I handed the note to Cammy, She read it and then took her "RED DEBT BOOK" from behind the Cash Till, She opened the book and then got 5 loose woodbine cigarette's  wrapped in a roll shape in some tissue like bread paper

and then said  "Give me your hand, she placed the rolled cigarette's in my hand and one by one folded my fingers to a close position  and then in ear shot of the two old farts said  (Tell your Mum, she has until 6pm tomorrow to settle with me or she'll be next to Agi Cockgrave in the window)

The two old ladies said  And we are witnesses ,

I got out side and untied my invisible horse mounted it (without breaking the cigarettes ) and went like hell down the street hitting my ****  as fast as i could,

I could see the CO-OP wagon just pulling up and Billy as black as the coal he delivered, Me Dad was once again outside calling to Billy "You take your time mate I'll be here when you have cleaned yourself up, No problem,

Then he saw me,    "What the hell are you doing hitting your self like that ?

I replied, It's me invisible horse, I wanted him to go fast,

Dad by now really  annoyed at this long wait for his ALE said you take after your mothers side of the Family  "DAFT" If i see you hitting yourself again I will save you the problem, I'll hit you, Daft Lad,

I passed me Mum her life line of cigarettes and told her what Cammy had said,

(Me Dad did not give mum her wages until he was about to leave for the Ale house, Hence by Friday she was broke And Cammy's shop was a god sent blessing)

Mum told me to keep out of your dads way, Go and play up the other end of the street,

As i walked passed Miss Coochie's House "her front door opening just enough for her to point a finger at me and say come here,

Her finger bending for me to come closer, I said a few quick prayers and begged to be spared, As i took a few steps her door opening was wider and then she did it

She handed me a shovel and pointed down the street to the place "SILVER" had dropped his own delivery of fresh "still stinking manure " And she then said  Go and get that and bring it back here.

I shook and as i ran passed a line of 7 Cockgrave kids all standing outside of their home, Moaning that their Dad was in front of a nice fire bathing and they we're standing here.

I thought if i got all the horse droppings in one big heap ?  I could do this task in one go,

I was getting on with the job when I saw four feet standing in front of me,  As I looked up i could see my Dad & Billy Cockgrave looking down at me,

What hell are you doing, Me Dad asked,

Silver did this and I am clearing it up Dad,

He Looked At Billy And said this beats all Bill This Bloody Invisible horse is now crapping all over the street, And then "Laughing" They walked off to the Irish Bar,

I'd not seen my Dad Laugh very much,

I got most of the manure on the shovel and kicked the rest down the grid, I started back to MISS COOCHIE. House passing the Cockgraves, All the kids had gone inside,

As i walked towards the front door it open and she appeared looked at the contents of the shovel and her eyes went all funny,

She just stared and then a huge smile appeared and then i saw the dirty brown and black teeth i have ever seen,

I just put the shovel on the ground and ran home,

I headed for the kitchen and behind the Geezer pipes was a mirror, "WE did not have many mirrors in our house and me Mum did not like us looking at ourselves, But I climb the chair and was looking at myself "my face" my eye's,

My Mum came into the kitchen and yelling asked what the hell i thought i was doing,?????

I am looking to see if i have any red or yellow spots or my eye's are like DIVVI Simon's !!!!

Mum went mad telling me i am nothing special and never let her catch me looking in mirrors again,

Time past by and the weeks went into Months & then years and one day when i was coming home I saw a Hurst outside of Miss Coochie's house,

I asked what was going on and me Mum said "She's gone, Dead,  The Old man who I'd seen doing her shopping was the only person there,

Not one set of curtains in the houses in our street had been drawn shut (It was what people did when a neighbor died,

The old fart in Cammy's we're gossiping again and all agreed she was Evil and she was probably burning in hell as we speak ,

A few weeks passed and one of the builders asked if I would go and get him some fags from Cammy's, When i returned he said come in Lad, and i could see they we're doing work inside the house, Both sides of the fire place was what was left of a garden sort of thing, One builder said "Do not worry lad those flowers are Plastic, The old girl made a memorial for the baby she lost years ago,

We did find some Miniature Tulip BULBS , But her Brother who owns this dump took them for some reason of other, But he said they mean a lot to him,

I lay in my bed that night and it all came together, the bending down with her sack pinny folded, the horse manure and the reason she was called EVIL, She had a baby while single and that child died,And the old man who did the shopping was her only connection with human life that did not want to hurt her,

R.I.P. Miss Coochie,

The End,