The French Are Rude Too

[Deby]

Following on from a previous thread.

Today we had a rather nice lunch in your average french eating place with some English friends. We took our children with us.  I did ask my friends is this restaurant suitable for children (some are and some clearly arent) and was informed yes?

Well after our kids had been in the restaurant 2 hours plus they obviously were getting restless and were peering through the glass doors looking at the horses and goats in the next field.  It was safe to let them go out and take a closer look. Now being kids they did come back in and out several times telling us what they could see and each time they closed the door behind them, a bit leisurely I must admit. Yes, I know today wasnt exactly warm, and a bit of a draught was emitted.   

Finally the Monsieur (a believer of the children should been seen and not heard brigade) at the table next to us and by no means closer to the door lost it.  Swearing in French (he thought we couldnt understand) amongst other insults towards how we couldn't control our children.  Fortunately most of the insults were lost on me but my husband and our friends new exactly what they were saying. I politely replied but they are only children. The Monsieurs response was well its obviously the way they were brought up.  Fortunately his idioms were lost on me, but our friends (almost beaten by husband) replied with some reference to their Mitterand (sp.) values to defend our corner. 

I am always aware of not letting kids run riot in restaurants and try and maintain a balance, but to use foul language and personal abuse over such a matter is outrageous.  They I believe thought we didnt fully understand (me mainly- idioms and talking fast) assumed we knew nothing of social etiquette and french life/language.  I don't particular care for the way french (particularly 60+ folk) chastise children and instill fear of god into them and thus steal their childhoods all in the name of achieving good behaviour and respect!  All they needed to have said to us that the children coming in and out was bothering them! 

Just another side to life in France - it is not just the English who are rude and foul-mouthed.

Deby

[Chouette]

There definitely seems to be a marked difference in the way British and French parents allow their children to behave and I will readily admit that I rather admire the way the majority of French children seem to be much more well behaved than British children.  As to what methods they use to discipline them in order to make them better behaved I have absolutely no idea

Here's a recent example. The other day my husband and I were enjoying a meal at our favorite local restaurant.  At one table there was a French couple with a little girl of no more than four or five years of age and who I noticed because a) she was so cute and b) so well behaved; a little angel in fact.  Later another family arrived with a child of about the same age; this time though, throughout the whole of our evening there, all we could hear was this child's demanding and petulant voice above the chatter of everyone else.  My husband turned to me and said something along the lines of so much for French kids being better behaved, until we listened more closely and discovered that they were in fact a British family. 

Vive la difference

[Deby]

Some french kids do behave very well in restuarants and some do not. My kids didnt behave terribly, what am I supposed to do never take them? They just were getting a little restless as children do. We should be able to share restaurants with other people.  My point with this post is I felt these people did not have to be rude to say my children were annoying them. 

Best
Deby

[Miki]

Some french kids do behave very well in restuarants and some do not. My kids didnt behave terribly, what am I supposed to do never take them? They just were getting a little restless as children do. We should be able to share restaurants with other people.  My point with this post is I felt these people did not have to be rude to say my children were annoying them.

Deby, Whoops, I mean Duchess,

That was what I was saying in the other thread. I have seen some pretty absymal behaviour from the French for many years. To label kids from different nationalities as simply "good or bad" is ridiculous.

If someone wants to know why some French kids are better behaved than others, it can sometimes come down to pretty hefty wallops, hands up those that have seen kids flying across restos and supermarkets ! We have had threads that have mentioned this fact.

What I think is obvious, is that French take their kids in to restos at a far earlier stage than the Brits (generalisation I know but something I have witnessed for a number of years) so over the years the French kids settle pretty well in to a routine but I have still seen many bored ones that have been "bashed" in to submission, which often makes it worse, as the screams do make the resto a little less ambiant for it.

Our kids always got bored and let's face it, OK it is a little more stressful when the kids are with you but we took them often and took our chances and yes, we also had tuts and looks on occasion towards us, yep, sometimes us being British was brought up ! We have had French friends eating with us who have given their fellow compatriots a right earfull on hearing all this and that has generally eased the situation. Not often but once or twice.

 Not easy bringing up kids is it !

 

 

[Mistral]

What I think is obvious, is that French take their kids in to restos at a far earlier stage than the Brits

We took our kids to restaurants from birth (it's easy when they're babies- it gets harder later on) yes, we expect them to stay at  table and "behave". But on the other hand, we are aware of their attention span and don't hang about waiting for them to get bored.

Everything depends so much on the child. Number one grabs a menu as we walk in and barely lifts his eyes from his plate except to ask for more, number two picks at her food, asks for ketchup with everything and then goes into a transe, number three rampages through the restaurant shouting, wants to eat whatever you are eating and bangs her cutlery on the table (we've been going less since she was born )

As for whether this is a French trait (thanks dad) or a British one (thanks mum) I have no idea.