Divorce/maintenance etc.

[benedicte]

Hi, it looks like me and my husband are splitting up, we have children and live in France but are British (as are the children) and we married in the UK.

As a first step, can anyone tell me with regard to house ownership/maintenance/custody/divorce are we covered by UK law or French law?

I know that's a big question and that I do need to seek legal advice but I'm not able to do that until things here are certain, I'm just looking for general pointers and any advice at the moment. I don't know if I have the right to make him leave the family home etc., how I stand with custody of the children, whether I will be able to claim any benefits here until I can support myself.

[Teamedup]

As you are a french resident then I would suggest that you go and see an avocat gratuit ASAP.

Also, neither parent should remove the children from their home without the consent of the other parent. And I don't think that you can make your husband leave either.

 

Go and see the CAF and a social worker and an avocat. That is all I can suggest.

[Llwyncelyn]

We are back to the hardy annuals of where you are resident and or domiciled.  There is nothing whatsoever stopping you returning to the UK and then commencing your action for divorce from there!  Of course the 'rules' for divorce UK wise then come into being.  I know something about the law not only from the practise standpoint but also having been there and bought the very expensive T shirt following a divorce.

In France there is divorce by consent on a 'no fault' basis but I am giving my French based friend (but UK born and bred) some advice on a divorce here and the Avocat's are really taking their time to resolve this problem and which has been going on for over three years.  It is particularly messy but not children wise but from the monetary standpoint.

I would not wish to give you advice save for the fact to take appropriate advice and as quickly as you can.

However all I would say that there are benefits to you perhaps being resident in the UK and starting your action there.

Please do not worry about a situation whereby perhaps possession (different from ownership) of the French house is say given to you or dare I say to your husband or that the order is for the house to be sold.  Judgments and orders of a UK court are quite easily transferable here to France.  Problem it takes that little bit longer.

As in most things any lawyer in a divorce action would ask clients to put emotions aside and to concentrate upon the terms under which a mutual agreement can be reached.  That is never easy and if you continue to argue there is only one person(s) who is going to benefit and that is the guys who look at their watches when you sit down in front of them and they have brass plates on the walls outside of their offices.

I was not in that area of the law!

best wishes

[Teamedup]

My friend has gone through this. Her french avocat told her when they were talking about splitting up that IF she wanted to return to the UK she would have to leave her children behind, as it would be considered as kidnap if she took them or tried to take them from their family home without her estranged husbands consent. And that she could be arrested in the UK if she took this action. http://www.diplomatie.gouv.fr/francais/familles/enlevements/mots_utiles02.html

In fact she has been told that if she wants the children that she will have to remain in France with them as France is their home. Her husband would not agree to them leaving. It would have to go to court if she wanted to fight this, but without money she is unable to do this. This british couple have, I must add, absolutely no fiscal ties with the UK other than her family is there and would be supportive.

 

 

Hopefully any move could be sorted out amicably.

 

From the British Consulate web site  under Child Abduction  a link to Reunite

Have you brought your child into the UK from abroad?

This information will be helpful to you.

reunite is the leading UK charity offering advice, support and information to those who are in any way affected by the issues surrounding international parental child abduction. We have recorded an increase in the number of parents who contact the Charity having brought their child to the UK from abroad.
In this situation, reunite will offer all the advice and support possible, as we would with any international parental child abduction issue.

However, if you are in this position, it is essential that you are aware of the following information:

• The removal of a child from their country of habitual residence by one parent (or person who has parental responsibility) without the agreement of the other parent (or person who has parental responsibility) is classed as "wrongful removal" under the terms of the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction.
  
  

• The parent from whom the child has been removed has the right to make an application under the terms of the Hague Convention to have their child returned if they reside in a country which is a signatory to the Convention.
  
  

• Under these circumstances, there will be a hearing in the UK to determine whether the child must be returned to their country of habitual residence. At this stage, no decision will be made as to which parent the child will reside. That will be decided once the child has returned. It is a matter for the courts in the country from which the child has been removed to decide.
  
  For more information, contact the reunite advice line.

 

 

 

 

 

[Gemini_man]

benedicte your first port of call should be to your "assistante sociale" - every resident has one it just depends where you live. Your mairie will be able to give you the name and contact details. Once you get to see the assistante sociale explain your situation and your concerns and he/she will advise you what to do, who to see and your position so far as the authorities are concerned.

With regards to UK or French law, my understanding is that if you are resident in France then French law rules and you need to be resident in the UK for at least 6 months before you can divorce there. I believe that if you stay resident in France and have little or no income you can obtain free legal support but the assistante sociale will tell you.

I hope that helps a bit through what is likely to be a very difficult time - good luck!!

[Mistral]

I agree with what TU has said. Your best move would be to see a free lawyer who can tell you where you stand in french law. Most large towns have a maison de la justice/du droit. They ususally have the possibility to see a free lawyer. That lawyer won't be the person representing you in case of divorce but they will be able to tell you where you stand and what you can do.

It is worth remembering that in French law, removing children from the family home or leaving yourself without a written agreement from both partners, can be used against you in divorce proceedings.

An assistant social will be able to tell you what help/benefits you can get while sorting things out. As other people have said, you can find out from the mairie where to go. Otherwise if you have school age children, every school has an assistant social (for maybe a half day a week) so you could ask for an appointment through the school. He/she can give you the basic information and also find you the name of the person registered to your area.

Forgot. here's the list of maisons de la justice http://www.justice.gouv.fr/region/mjdanten.htm

[benedicte]

Thank you everyone for all the replies, I have them saved whilst I consider my options. I am hoping that we can settle things amicably but I do not think that will happen.

The saddest part for me is that I have never settled in France and would prefer to go back to the UK but as my husband will want to stay here I will have to do so too (for my children).