help with apero etiquette

[La Vette]

We have been invited to our neighbours for drinks at 6pm tomorrow.  A couple of questions.  Do we arrive on time - do we take anything with us - how long do we stay.  Well that's 3 questions actually.

Look forward to your advice.

[Unknown]

I can never undersand why folk always get worried about the rights and wrongs of going to their French neighbours.  Just be yourself and do/take what you feel is appropriate, not what the done thing is.

I'm not saying this to be horrible, just honest.  What do you think you should do?

[:)]

[La Vette]

I'm not exactly worried but I was interested in what the etiquette is.  What do I think I should do, I think I should just go and see what happens, enjoy the experience and hope to do it again sometime.

Thanks Dotty T

[suein56]

In my experience it is considered polite to be on time. Neighbours/ friends who have come to us for an apero have brought with them small posies of flowers from their gardens. We are renting our house here and there are no flowers or shrubs in the garden so, so far, we have just taken ourselves. In future I will consider taking a small something with me - but I am not sure what yet - a few homemade biscuits perhaps.

With regard to how long to stay - we were told an hour to an hour and a half is polite, but at our first apero the couple refused to let us leave saying we were going too soon - we ended up being there 2 and a half hours, second one the same, last one 3 hours! I felt that we had stayed too long but they seemed to think it was normal.

Sue

[La Vette]

Thanks Sue, some of the advice I have read in books always sounds So formal and old-fashioned.  It is nice to hear it from someone who has been there, done that etc.

 

[The Riff-Raff Element]

We were tipped, shortly after arriving here, that aperos are one of the

few things for which one is genuinely expected to be on time.

Experience has shown this to be very much the case..

[Unknown]

When we first went to our neighbours house it was for Gallette, just after Christmas.  We ended up getting on so well that we stayed for tea as well.  After the first 2 hours we tried to make an exit, not because we wanted to, but because we thought it polite.  They then said why don't you stay for 'diner' it is good practice for you to speak French, so its better if you stay.

Well it was the wee hours before we got home, but what a lovely evening.

We see each other regularly now and we couldn't wish for better neighbours.

Good luck

[La Vette]

Just to let you know how we got on, they are absolutely adorable.  We arrived on time and while we were stood pushing the bell on the gate a car arrived with madame who was rather flustered that we were on time as she had been caught up in unexpected traffic (we have a big festival this weekend and a lot of the roads are blocked).  That aside we were made very welcome and had a wonderful evening.   We finally left after 3 hours and only because we had not had a meal although they filled us up with homemade wafer sliced duck and duck pate.  We have been invited to go with them to the duck farm in Oct/Nov and Patrique is going to show my OH how to cure our own duck.  We will be inviting them chez nous fairly soon when both of us have come back from short breaks.  They have invited our family and particularly our grandson to visit them as Monique wants to crush him to death with cuddles (he is 9 months).

Neither of them spoke any English and we made a few faux pas but it was a fantastic evening.  Looking forward to doing it again.