IS THIS A GOOD MOTIVATION LETTER?

[Me&Mi]

This will obviously be in French but I would like opinions please as I have never written one of these letters before!  Thanks in advance.

 

Dear XXX,

 

I am a diagnostic radiographer with 14 years clinical experience.  I qualified in 1992 with the diploma of the College of Radiograpers in England.  This qualification has been validated by the french Ministry of health and because of this, I am permitted to work in France as a diagnostic radiographer..

 

Having worked in five very different hospitals, I feel as though I have a rounded and thorough level of clinical experience.  These hospitals range from Ireland’s largest general hospital (St. James’s) where I learned how to deal with any situation, to Ireland’s leading cancer hospital (St Luke’s) where the emphasis was always on being gentle and compassionate,.  I have worked within the public and private sector and am happy to xray adults and children alike.  I am happy to work in all general areas and I have a number of years experience in mammography and Computed Tomography.  I have an honours degree in French which I completed in 1999.

 

Being of a friendly and hard-working disposition, I have always settled well and fitted into all of my previous placements.  I love to work and have excellent references from all my previous employers.  I would very much appreciate an interview with the possibility of  being employed in the position of general radiographer in a part-time capacity.

Yours sincerely,

[Benjamin]

Your letter lacks specific detail. You are risking someone reading this letter being very sceptical as to what your actual qualifications are.

Think what an application form for this type of work might ask e g do you have any letters after your name and what do they mean, where did you get honours degree and at what level?

Be more specific about the experience you have gained and give more information on the places you have worked.

Maybe put this on a seperate sheet of paper.

Benjamin

[Albert the InfoGipsy]

Looks OK as a general template, assuming that you are also going to enclose a CV. I always try to tailor my letters & CVs to the particular recipient. If it's a spec letter you could still customise it with a bit of research. Also, I don't think France sees the public/private sector split in the same way as the UK.

Try to find a book with examples of French CVs. They lay them out differently and have different emphases.

Good luck

 

[Me&Mi]

Thank you for your replies.  I will be enclosing a CV also.  I haven't decided who I'm applying to yet so that is why there isn't any specific detail about the job in question.  I appreciate the advice :)

[KathyC]

As you posted this earlier on TF and seem to have taken absolutely no notice of the constructive comments that you received from me and several other people, I wonder why you're posting it here? If you want to send it then do so; all you seem to want is for people to tell you it's fine, when really it isn't.[:@]

[Me&Mi]

KathyC, I posted to both forums at the same time, I didn't know the EXACT same people post to both otherwise I would've posted only to one.  I replied here because I felt it was rude not to reply when people go to the effort to help you.  Why are you so annoyed?  I AM taking on board what everyone said and appreciate the replies.  If I thought the letter was ok, I wouldn't have asked the question. Sorry if you feel insulted that I asked in two places at the same time.

[rusheslake]

Personally I think the letter is too long & detailed considering it is to be sent with a CV.

The letter should be concise, and rather like a new bar of chocolate want you to tear off the wrapper and sink your teeth into the inside (CV!)

Concise professional & tantalising

There are professional sites on the Internet that will help you to construct a good letter.

[Will]

Write it by hand (very important in France), and don't repeat what is in the CV other than the most vital bits of information that are relevant to the particular job for which you are applying. Get a French native speaker to check it.

[KathyC]

Me & Mi

I could have sworn this appeared on TF a couple of days earlier, but it seems I was wrong. Sorry for jumping on you.

Good luck with the job hunting.

[londoneye]

I can't really comment from the point of view of how a french employer would see this covering letter.

From perspective of a UK human resource manager point of view (previous life), the vast majority of the information above should actually be in your cv (in my view), not in your covering letter.      Nothing is more off-putting to a person analysing responses to job advertisements or even speculative approaches, than a covering letter that appears to be appropriate to all situations, ie something you just trot out every time you apply for a job and change the address at the top.    I have always steadfastly ignored any applicants for senior positions who send a letter such as above.     Sorry if this sounds unconstructive.       A CV is a factual document (or should be !!! heh heh - few are as we all know !), and should contain all of the information in your first two paragraphs, although you should emphasise as much as possible any relevant french qualifications, and i would actually put this in your covering letters here (although would not advise this necessarily in the UK).

As one poster has already said, the key for a covering letter is to gear it towards the job for which you are applying.   Keep the letter short, and try to briefly highlight how your experience would make you invaluable for the position on offer - be specific.

Finally, i would never personally say something like 'i would very much appreciate an interview' for a uk covering letter (dont know about french perhaps someone else could help on this).     If your cv is good and you feel your experience is right up there for the position then frankly you should expect an interview!    (not to say you will get one however!).        Thus something more positive and slightly less, er , desperate sounding would be good there.   perhaps - I am available to attend interview (specifying anytimes you are not), and look forward to hearing from you in due course.

Again i can only also reiterate what other posters have said, you need to check more thoroughly what the expectations of french employers are, as they could be very different (as indeed you clearly realise yourself, by asking for advice from any french members of forum).

good luck

[Me&Mi]

Thank you all.  No problem KathyC, I can see what you might have thought.  I looked back and it actually doesn't say time and date of posting so I understand where you are coming from.

I would never write an English cover letter like this (esp the asking for interview bit!).  I used websites to give me an idea of what is expected in a french motivation letter. I thought it was very laboured myself.  So I will take on board what you have all said and reconstruct it.  Thanks again for taking the time to read and reply.

[Wibblywobbly]

As  LondonEye has explained, HR Managers do not exist to identify the best person for the job, they exist to read job applications and decide whether they like them or not. The future of the most talented individual is only a mere shredder away after all. I guess Einstein would never have got a 'proper' job as he simply didn't have the common sense to write a covering letter that didn't look as though it was written for all job applications. As to why this isn't seen as a sign of someone who has an aptitude for efficiency and cost reduction I have no idea, but HR Managers are not necessarily blessed with common sense, which may explain why so many people get jobs that they are totally unsuited to and why some numb nuts who can write an impressive letter sails in.

My advice to Me&Mi would be to scan the net for a few French CV' s and covering letters, and take them to a translation bod, sit them down and get them to rephrase your words to fit the French 'way'. As LondonEye has quite rightly pointed out, you won't get a decent job otherwise, and it may also go some way towards explaining why so many skilled people are leaving the UK for foreign shores because they can't get decent jobs in the UK!

Jeez...if only more HR Managers were prepared to whistleblow like LondonEye. Head for the ships chaps, there is nothing for you here.

Rob G

 

[londoneye]

have you a problem  with hr managers by chance ????????!!!!!!

the point about cover letter for all job applications is that unless the cover letter has been individualised to the job it appears that the applicant has not the necessary enthusiasm to research the company/position adequately.    Its so competitive now that it makes sense to carry out basic research on the company and the position for which you are applying.   thats all !

i am sure you will meet a nice one with common-sense one day soon .......

[Will]

You will find advice on French letters (sorry) at http://www.askoxford.com/languages/fr/french_letters/?view=uk. The 'download' link will give you some sample covering letters, CVs etc. Note that these are specimens - and should be tailored to yourself and the job rather than followed blindly. But they will give a good indication of what a French employer will expect. And I repeat that it seems to be vital in France that the covering letter is hand written.

[A&E]

Not teaching anyone to suck eggs etc, etc.

Motivation letter must be concise and to the point, and as previously mentioned must be handwritten.

In France, I understand your CV must be no more than 1 side of A4 - very different to the rambling UK norm!

Your local ANPE (Job Centre equivalent) should be helpful if you require assistance.

[Ergotherpeut1]

I think that the question as to whether this is a good letter has been answered and I would have no additional comments to add to that end.  I would advise you to contact your professional body in France and make contact with your French colleagues, they will be able to give better advice on specific approaches to different employement opportunities.  They may also give you some idea of the cultural/professional differences you may expect to find here in france. (are there part time positions, do you work in isolation, part of a MDT,etc.

In my profession (occupational therapy) there were a number of significant differences in approach/methodology and I was pleased to have joined a discussion forum prior to arriving in France.  I then went to meet French colleagues working in a variety of settings, all of which helped me to decide on the best way forward for me and my family.  Perhaps you could request a week or two at a particular place to gain further insight, you may have to consider 'insurance' issues for this, a way around it would be to register as a jobseeker at you local ANPE, then this gives you the option of a placement, which covers both you and the hospital. 

Best wishes with your endeavours

John Ewens

[Me&Mi]

Thanks for all the advice everyone.  I really appreciate it.  John I have joined a forum(must do a bit more posting!).  As regards my qualification, I have to do a month work experience in a particular area to be allowed to work in a paid position so this might be interesting.  I only have to apply to a "DRASS"  in the area I want to live with the ministerial letter I have and they will organise the work experience.  Not going until next summer but I like to have my homework done.  Thanks again all.