Hilltopshot

quote user="Russethouse" Nobody said that speaking the language would mean you were greeted with open arms. When did I say that?  Especially within the context of a move to France?   Put yourself in the position of the child for a moment, we have already read how traumatic Hilltopshot's daughter found that first 'in at the deep end' day.  Neither did I describe my daughter's first day at school as 'traumatic'.  Not an accurate word to describe one hour's worth of tears and snot!  My post then went on to say how well her first trimester went and which gives a far more accurate impression of her first term at a new school in a new country. As far as I can tell the child in question will be 12, a year older, when they move. Things they may have taken for granted all their scholastic life will be different and they will have to try to make new friends too. As you have already said making friends in a new school can be difficult anyway, of course they are concerned and the more preparation they can do now the better. That is realistic, not negative. And at no point did I describe preparations and questions prior to a move to France as being 'negative'.  Just for clarification however, I did describe the list of French failings (long school hours, lots of homework, lack of time for out of school clubs, lack of opportunity to make some spending money, being two years older than the average UK graduate before they start to earn a living as being negative though!  None of which had any relevance to the original question about how easy or hard it is to integrate and make friends.... Only the original poster really knows the nature of their child and what is likely to be the best thing for them. I couldn't agree with you more!   

[quote user="SaligoBay"]Hilltopshot, you are being extremely defensive about your good experience.[/quote] [:^)]?  Because I objected to the word ‘seems’ having been used in reference to our experience?    That’s not me being defensive about my good experience, that’s just me being irritated over a choice of words. [quote user="SaligoBay"]Don't forget that about 50% of Brits who move to France go back to Britain after a couple of years, and the education is one reason.[/quote] Absolutely, ONE reason [;)].  No doubt there are also lots of other very valid reasons why people feel that going back to Britain is the right thing for them at that particular time - from finances to family, divorce to death. Decent education (or lack of) is also the reason why a good many people move their children to different schools, buy overpriced houses within the catchment areas of good schools or buy into private education in the UK.   Swings and roundabouts.  If we look hard enough we can find a downside to everything, even blue skies can mean a bitter frost overnight. [quote user="SaligoBay"]It's not a personal attack on you or anything else, it's just the way it is.[/quote] I didn’t take it as a personal attack, I’m sorry you read it as such.  Holding a different opinion and voicing it sometimes means only that [quote user="SaligoBay"]We had the misfortune to arrive in this village when an idiot headmaster wouldn't let anyone in who wasn't fluent in French.  Brilliant!  And not my fault, but didn't endear me to the system.  He made it quite clear that my children would get no help whatsoever, and that nobody was interested in them.  [/quote] That must have been a horrific experience for you and your children [:@] [quote user="SaligoBay"]As you so rightly say, moving to France is (in some senses) like moving anywhere else.  And that means that sometimes it just doesn't work.[/quote] Just as our move to Wales was an utter disaster from beginning to end.   Some things are the right thing at the right time, the right thing at the wrong time, the wrong thing at the wrong time or just simply that priorities or circumstances have forced the need for change.   Nothing wrong with that, it’s just adapting to the situation that’s presented and doing things hopefully for the best of all concerned.  

[quote user="Russethouse"] As for Gail - I'm very glad you seem to have had a good experience in France but surely the reason people worry about going to France as opposed to moving to another part of the Uk is that there are language differences as well as whole different system and ethos. [/quote] Russethouse, you make me sound like I'm in a minority (or niaive) for 'seeming' to have had a good experience so far?  Yes, I'm well aware that there is a language difference (I thought that fact so obvious that it didn't occur to me to mention it above...), and that France being France, there is a whole different outlook - but isn't that one of the whole multitude of  reasons why people choose to live in France rather than stay where they are? I still absolutely maintain that being able to speak the lingo (as with a move within the UK) doesn't mean that you are automatically greated with open arms or that people will fight each other to become your friend either.....  Isolation or exclusion happens everywhere, not just in France.  I'd guess that it probably happens more so in the UK given peoples natural predjudices towards certain regional accents and preconcieved ideas about the people who have them.... [quote user="Russethouse"] Apart from that the hours are different, the days are often longer and homework given, that leaves little time for after school clubs etc. A child will expect to be in education a whole lot longer too, many French youngsters do not start work until their mid twenties, no possibility of having a part time job at 14 like many UK youngsters either. Compare that to here where kids often go to several after school activities each week, often have paper rounds or similar at 14 or so and expect to be in education at least until 16, probably until 18 and go to Uni and start work  age about 22/23. [/quote] This all sounds incredibly negative to me?  I'd personally not allow my children to take up a paper round in the UK if they were under the age of 21, let alone part time job at the age of 14.....  I'm not unhappy that they are given homework here either.  I also believe that there should be a fair balance in between extra curricular activities/hobbies and family life, and be being surgically attached to a steering wheel of a car between 5.30 and 9pm whilst I run my 3 children backwards and forwards every evening and throughout the weekend is simply not an option open to them - where ever they might live.....  I've also made it abundantly clear to all the children that if they wish to leave school without qualifications (whether at 16, 18 or 28) no matter where we live, then they need to be sure they can support themselves (cause I sure as hell won't) [:D] [quote user="Russethouse"]  I am not saying that either way is right or wrong but they are different and a shift from 'the norm', if you come from the British system. [/quote] Doesn't  'the norm' simply boil down what you are used to though - where ever you live?

Well I gave my own *positive* comments on our own personal experience of making the move last September only a week ago when another poster asked the same question.   http://www.completefrance.com/cs/forums/605540/ShowPost.aspx  I'm sorry if I'm sounding churlish here, but it's beyond me why people only think that uprooting a child to move to a new school in a new area is only potentially harmful if it's to France that they chose to move! [:@]   As I stated in my last post, a move to a new school - even to one in the same town - can be disruptive and unsettling.  The trick is to prepare yourselves and your child(ren) and help them see the whole thing in a positive light and to actually look forwards to the adventure that's in front of them.  If you go expecting problems, people not to speak to you, children to be unsettled and upset and to struggle making friends - the chances are you will fulfill your own prophecy. The problem of finding new friends and integrating into a new community is the same where ever you move to - you don't have to move to France to experience that kind of isolation - try moving from one end of the UK to the other - it's no different, been there, got the T-Shirt (3 times!)  In comparison to one move to Wales our move to France has been a piece of cake (with much friendlier locals! [:D]) This is an important decision you are about to make, and yes, hearing other people's experiences is invaluable in helping you to make your decision, but please remember that the chances are that the bad experiences are very often far outweighed by the good and positive ones - and to see them in that context.   Let's face it, bad news stories always make the headlines on the news, the good heartwarming stories are always left to the last item as an 'And finally....'.  [^o)] OK, rant over..... :-) Gail                                                                   

sorry about the formatting, not quite got to grips with these emoticon things! :-)  

Hi Timmy We moved here at the beginning of September with our 9yo twin boys and 11yo daughter.  The boys have settled fantastically and really love school, the only drawback for both of them is that they have to sit next to each other in class . Our daughter would have been in the final year in primary this year but because the school year runs from 1 jan - 31 dec (which we weren't aware of), she found herself in the first year of college .  At the end of the first day she sat in the car and disolved into tears because it was such a culture shock to her (her primary school in the UK only had 45 pupils) and that she hadn't understood a word.  However, once we explained that nothing other than absorbing the language would be expected of her for the next 3-6 months she was much happier and she has some lovely friends who are really looking after her. End the end of her first trimester her report revealed her average of 14.8 out of 20!!  Her mark for her French was much higher than the lowest mark given to her year group (yes, newly arrived and she got a better mark than some French pupils !)  Her comments were very encouraging from her tutors and she's feeling much more confident now at the start of this new term Moving to ANY new school is a big deal, but our experience is that the excitement of starting their new lives in France made a huge difference for our children As TU says, you already know the system and that not much changes very slowly, and you've already given your children a kick start with the language.  Children are resilient, soak up the language easily, are mostly good mimics (I can't shift my Lancashire accent when I talk which leads to some puzzled looks ....), unselfconcious (is that a real word) and are natually gregarious.  HTH        

Thanks for that, I'll head off over there. Regards Gail    

Hi there from a newbie, Even though I've got 20+ years of horse ownership in the UK under my belt, I'm feeling distinctly like a fish out of water right now France   Is a pre purchase vetting certificate for a horse an official document like the five stage vetting in the UK where the horse's identifying marks are shown and which also bears the date, place of vetting, horse owner's name and name and address of the officiating vet ?    We have been told by the intermediary who found our pony for us (and whose friend organised the vetting) that the photocopied sheet which does not have anything to identify the animal being vetted, let alone anything to denote who the vet was is the official vetting certificate.   Can anybody please help me?    Thanks in anticipation   Gail (who still has LOTS more questions like this to ask, unfortunately  )

We're moving to a villiage near Argenton l'Eglise (10k NE Thouars)end of October. Just returned the compromis de vente this week.... Gail

Try good old Auntie's website: http://www.bbc.co.uk/cgi-perl/weather/search/search.pl?search_query=france which is what I use. Odd combination of places - major towns and cities (which you'd expect) but places like Treguier in Brittany which I wouldn't . Gail

Hi I'm a total newbie to this forum - bonjour. We're hoping to move to France this Autumn (79) 20k south of Saumur and will be bringing two horses across. I bought Rupert a few months ago and the only paperwork I have for him is his covering certificate (he's now 5) and I'm coming up against a brick wall with various breed societies here because a) the breed society his sire is registered with has gone out of business, b) the British Warmblood Society would require his sire to have been graded in his country of origin (he wasn't and I'm not even sure if he is graded even now), c) I cannot trace the breeder of his dam, I only have heresay that she had good lines (the dam that is ).... and it's now looking like my only option is to register Roo with the Pleasure Horse Society here . How easy is it to register with a breed society in France and what papers would I require? Would registration with the British Pleasure Horse Society be sufficient? Any help and pointers in the right direction would be gratefully received. Cheers Gail