Why.......................

[Russethouse]

Odile, The software this forum uses has offensive words in English and French set to default to ****** when they are used, this software takes no account of the sense in which the word was used - however if you would like to start paying moderators I'm sure we could come to an agreement [;-)][;-)]

In the UK it is considered almost rude to talk about politics, education, healthcare, social issues- lest one should offend the sensibilities of somebody (especially if you are a woman in some parts of suburbia - a la Stepford wives

In the UK, it is considered rude to talk about politics and religion at say a dinner party or social gathering, this is out of respect for the host - these topics stir up strong emotions and no one wants their gathering turned into an unpleasant row.  As for the other topics, I have never come across it, but then I am as far away from being a Stepford wife as  it is possible to be......

  As a general note  - when you debate on forums it is wise to remember to attack the argument, not the person.

[woolybananasbrother]

[quote user="Cat"]And the bull run, or encierro as it is called in France, is most certainly not banned here in France. It may often use "vachettes" rather than bulls, but it does exist, quite legally. [/quote]

Actually judging by some of the crowds rushing in the sales, I think vache  would be right

[Judith]

I scan regularly what is going on, and for many I look at the entry, and quickly move on if (a) not interested or (b) it disintegrates into the rant which displeases many (it also displeases me).  I sometimes consider replying, but think, no, I can't be bothered to contribute, though I have often felt like typing  - "children, children!!"  However, I usually decide not to pour oil on troubled waters and they usually subside fairly quickly.

I try to make my posts useful (I hope).

The forum tends to disintegrate in the summer as all are enjoying the good weather, and improves in content in the winter when all are escaping the weather.

However, I do have a "little" gripe - please, please, use short sentences and short paragraphs, well spaced, like mine are.  This makes it so much easier to read.

Punctation also helps, accurate spelling is less problematic - we know fingers do find the wrong keys easily.   But the spacing I find is crucial to whether I read it or not.  I quite often give up if I am faced with a block of text.  Some of the posters on the financial subjects obviously know their subjects, but oh, I just cannot read the bulky text, so miss out on interesting / useful info.

This is not aimed at anyone in particlar, just a plea for all posters to remember that some of us are more visually impaired than others!

[woolybananasbrother]

To be serious for once, I think that taking out the cyclical and repetitive stuff, the forum has lost its focus on France. Not the fluffy bits either, there is enough of that, but really trying to understand the place. Even the thread about kids not turning up at a party was interesting because it showed an attitude to be understood.

But, from reading the Forum, one would not believe the enormous changes happening in the country, the tensions, the pain. That it what I think we need to try and reflect and understand a bit more. Of course I cant contribute as I am essentially trivial, but then so are bog seats.

[powerdesal]

[quote user="Catalpa"]

 

 

Indeed, when people – via topics of which this is only

one example…

http://www.completefrance.com/cs/forums/1/1275496/ShowPost.aspx#1275496

 

…set themselves up as commentators on the fall of civilisation as we know it, then they

had better be sure that the pedestal on to which they climb doesn’t have a

curly top. [6] If an individual enjoys criticising popular culture, that’s fine and frequently entertaining…

but they should also check that they have the class and humour to accept less fawning responses too.

[/quote]

I'm not convinced that the topic example above really makes your case, it was very generalised, not particularly contentious, entertaining and well responded to without argument.

How does that fit with the point that (I think) you are making?

[trees 2]

I USED to visit this forum many times a day, and was quite happy to join in with a few of the more "lively" threads.

No more[:(]

I now visit once, if that, and steer well clear of posting on "those" sort of threads.

Why? Because of two things: firstly, other posters DO attack the poster, not the message, then get upset when it comes back, refer it to a moderator, and you get told off, and YOUR response is removed, but often, not the original that caused the offence. Double standards? There was on poster who has cooled off a bit who was a master at it.

Secondly, FAR too many people are running to mods with complaints about totally trivial stuff, getting posts and threads deleted right, left and centre. In short, the forum is now over-moderated.

Now, I wonder how long THAT post will last?

T2.

[cooperlola]

I think Wooly b's relation has a point (in fact I guess the majority of bananas have two).  I don't see much discussion and debate about the politics of France on here - far more about a certain Mr Brown and his cohorts whose policies actually have less influence on our daily lives - apart from the Economic ones of course for those of us who still have to live on £s.  Are we really not interested, or is it simply the language problem at play here - are there really just very few people who read French newspapers or who can understand them, or is it just that the subject bores people?  When the ECB upped interest rates the other day - the announcement didn't seem to interest anybody very much. 

I also find some of the posts about people's experience of their kids' school life interesting - although I am apparently a disinterested party, having no kids myself - as they say a lot about the two cultures and the way they meet and/or collide, which surely affects all of us.

The posts about Dr Watsit and Amy Whoozit I just ignore as I am both unintersted and disinterested in those.  Not a problem, skipping topics isn't exactly tough to do is it? 

Ultimately, losing an entertaining and informed member of this forum does nobody any good.  I hope he'll reflect and come back.

[Cat]

[quote user="cooperlola"]

...are there really just very few people who read French newspapers or who can understand them, or is it just that the subject bores people?  When the ECB upped interest rates the other day - the announcement didn't seem to interest anybody very much... 

[/quote]

I'd noticed that there isn't much interest on the forum in French news and politics (unless, like the elections, or the healthcare changes, it is something that touches us directly). 

[odile]

Hi Cathy, the vachettes thing is totally different. Personally I think it is also cruel, but it is highly coreographed (sp?) and organised, in a ring - and is very different to the mayhem of the bull run in narrow street, with many inexperienced people in the public, often carrying knives, fireworks, etc. there is practically no comparison. There is no equivalent in France, and it would be certainly illegal in the UK. Again, herding was mentionned early, but cattle farmers know how to do this with the minimum of stress - and they don't do it just for fun.

[odile]

Hi Catalpa. I have no idea of your circumstances or where you live or have been brought up. When I first came to the UK, all our friends were junior professionals, and we enjoyed lots of good quality argument and banter. But as my husband's career progressed to a senior level - the tone changed and I realised that discussions of any controversial or 'interesting' subject was taboo. On the very middle class (whatever that means) estate where we lived- wives with husbands of similar 'standing' never expressed opinions of their own, but always 'oh David says' or 'Martin thinks' - I found it soooo frustrating. We moved to a more open location, went to Uni to qualify as a teacher  as a mature student and chose our friends very carefully, just to keep the brain ticking and an open outlook onto the world. So I am not trying to be rude about the 'Stepford wife' bit - but I have met so many in the 37 years I've lived in the UK.

[cooperlola]

[quote user="odile"]Hi Catalpa. I have no idea of your circumstances or where you live or have been brought up. When I first came to the UK, all our friends were junior professionals, and we enjoyed lots of good quality argument and banter. But as my husband's career progressed to a senior level - the tone changed and I realised that discussions of any controversial or 'interesting' subject was taboo. On the very middle class (whatever that means) estate where we lived- wives with husbands of similar 'standing' never expressed opinions of their own, but always 'oh David says' or 'Martin thinks' - I found it soooo frustrating. We moved to a more open location, went to Uni to qualify as a teacher  as a mature student and chose our friends very carefully, just to keep the brain ticking and an open outlook onto the world. So I am not trying to be rude about the 'Stepford wife' bit - but I have met so many in the 37 years I've lived in the UK.
[/quote]Blimey Odile.  This is not a description of the British women I know and whom I have mixed with all my life.  Where did you live for goodness sake?  None of my women friends would ever defer to their husbands in the way you describe.  What a horrible thought.

But then I've never lived on an estate so maybe that is the difference?

[powerdesal]

Wife deferring to husband???? not where I come from. We are equal partners with our own individual views, long may it remain so.

I would be extremely brave (or very stupid) to try to subjugate my wife to my views if they were contradictory to her own.

[cooperlola]

I cannot imagine anything more dull than agreeing with the person you live with all the time.  I would die of boredom.  Always up for a good spat!

EDIT : Pretty much true for fora also, when I think about it.[Www]

[YCCMB]

[quote user="cooperlola"]

[quote user="odile"]Hi Catalpa. I have no idea of your circumstances or where you live or have been brought up. When I first came to the UK, all our friends were junior professionals, and we enjoyed lots of good quality argument and banter. But as my husband's career progressed to a senior level - the tone changed and I realised that discussions of any controversial or 'interesting' subject was taboo. On the very middle class (whatever that means) estate where we lived- wives with husbands of similar 'standing' never expressed opinions of their own, but always 'oh David says' or 'Martin thinks' - I found it soooo frustrating. We moved to a more open location, went to Uni to qualify as a teacher  as a mature student and chose our friends very carefully, just to keep the brain ticking and an open outlook onto the world. So I am not trying to be rude about the 'Stepford wife' bit - but I have met so many in the 37 years I've lived in the UK.

[/quote]Blimey Odile.  This is not a description of the British women I know and whom I have mixed with all my life.  Where did you live for goodness sake?  None of my women friends would ever defer to their husbands in the way you describe.  What a horrible thought.

But then I've never lived on an estate so maybe that is the difference?

[/quote]

Maybe there's food for thought for many on here in what Odile says. Look how easy it is to draw conclusions about a whole country on the basis of one's own experiences...[Www]

[cooperlola]

And not just for those "on here" Betty!

[just john]

Just over 900 views and about 40 responses, says lots don't it? I'm sure the silent majority have a view but do not necessarily wish to express it, if only to avoid crying 'et tu Brutus'.
As my old granny used to say 'if you can't say something nice, don't say anything'.
When I'm on here I neither see myself as dyed in the wool English or a French wannabe, but maybe European. I see the forum first and foremost as a link to dip in and out of as and when the fancy takes me, it's been a constant source of help and information, essentially with people from the UK and their experience of living in France (funny that). Sometimes interesting posts which evoke a response, or something to titter at and while away a boring hour with some interesting people, surely people should be able to contribute without entering into conflict.
Finally for the bean counters and others interested, I recently posted a wanted ad for a long let, 150 views and received two replies, same thing on another forum received 10 times the offers.  [8-|]

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind;

the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

 

[Tressy]

[quote user="Gluestick"]

Over the past few months, I have become increasingly disillusioned and bored with this forum.

Not only has it gradually descended into the trivial, but perhaps more critically, random sniping and argument for the sake of argument has become increasingly the norm: and not pleasantly executed much of the time, either. [/quote]

That's an interesting preamble given that aside from your technical expertise which you share freely, you post a fair amount of 'trivia' and sniping yourself - perhaps not at forum members specifically, but against any group of people (and particularly women) who don't conform to the Gluestick Standard. The thread Catalpa mentioned is a good recent example, (and Steve, when I first read this thread Catalpa's link wasn't working, and yet somehow I knew that was the thread she was referring to, so her point struck home with me, for one).  It's not the first time Gluestick has gone to some length to have his say about the state of womanhood as he sees it, and frankly I find it say wearisome, and insulting. I can do without self-styled 'social commentaries' of that nature on the forum.

[quote user="Gluestick"]My recent thread on tenants is an excellent example: rather than instantly criticise, perhaps it would have been more valid to firstly read the thread and absorb the background information: too much trouble, I know.

If I could be bothered, I’d explain to the critical respondents the seminal criteria and aspects they missed, which If, they had taken the trouble to carefully read the thread through, ought to have moderated their comments: however I can’t – be bothered that is. I am presently far too busy with more meaningful tasks.

Additionally, assumption piled upon assumption allows too many posters to reach erroneous conclusions, which are then used as the basis for acerbic critique. [/quote]

Here it seems, is the real reason for your throwing what I can only describe as a forum tantrum. 

The 'Tenants' thread was going so well, wasn't it? Several posters expressed their shock and outrage (much to your satisfaction) but then it all went horribly wrong when a lone voice stepped up to point out some possible alternative explanations for the damage to your paintwork.

As I understand it, it was Mrs Gastines first post on the forum. She had clearly put some thought into her comments, (which were based on her own experiences and the photographic evidence of the Crimes Against Property that you posted), but rather than even  consider her points you simply dismissed what she said as 'nonsense', and suggested she hadn't read the thread (who is assuming now?) - a charge you levelled at me also, and which you have repeated here.

I suppose you consider the points Mrs Gastines made as 'acerbic' 'jibes', and your own response a 'reasoned riposte'?  I just thought you were rude.

 

 

 

 

[Gluestick]

Thank you Tressy and Catalpa, you have just reinforced why my decision was correct.

Catalpa: you couldn't really resist the snipe about the loo seat, could you?

FYI it was not my taste but supplied as a package: it was new and not burned: the stains shown in the photo being burns, which by their very colour and normal human association of ideas would be offensive to most normal human beings.

Not really important, apart from the fact that it is money out of my pocket and I am a businessman.

And damage such as this is a deductable in the terms of the lease. Yet a minor aspect when compared to the toilet pan itself which was cracked: BTW the whole bill for replacement exceeds £200.

I know; a mere bagatelle for all you wealthy millionaires.

Tressy: you quite obviously have a thing about men and women.

You don't know me and if you did, then you would realise that well before the idiocy of Political Correctness I have always treated women as equals: until and unless they demand something less.

But then that applies for all; men and women alike.

Pretty obviously, my personal standards and conclusions concerning the way ladies ought to dress and disport themselves, are diametrically opposed to a number of members here: that is if Catapla's perspectives and comments enjoy any degree of veracity and support.

However, from an early age, I was taught that the very way to distinguish between a lady and a woman is the way she dresses and disports herself.

I am quite obviously in the wrong place!

With notable exceptions however.............

 

 

[odile]

the way to distinguish between a woman and a lady is how she behaves ... with her family, her friends, her community, the world, and I'm not even talking about 'manners' here, but about attitude.

do you mean to say that a man should be judged on the quality of his suit? Thank goodness my doctor is a poor dresser but with a great brain and a great heart.

[AnOther]

An old fashioned word it may be but IMO disports is absolutely bang on to illustrate Glueys point and in itself encompasses the qualities you list - and more.

As I said previously, Gluey is one of the most erudite posters and I for one shall miss his contributions if for no other reason than his command of the English language [:(]

 

[Bugsy]

  

 

 

[cooperlola]

I detest the use of the word lady unless the person has had that title confired upon them, or is married to a Lord.  I am a woman thanks very much, and the way I dress and disport myself is my business and mine alone.  If that means I am not a lady then hoorah for that - it just goes to reinforce my point.  The word has a great tendency to be used by men in a partronising way which seems to convey all that they believe to be true about a woman's appearance and manners, and absolutely nothing about her talents and intelectual abilities. 

No wonder the world's in a mess if this is the standard by which human beings of either sex are judged.  About time we moved on and valued people for their insides, not their outsides.  In fact, isn't that one of the great things about a forum - most of us have no idea how we're dressing or disporting as we type away?

Now, come along, Gluey, aren't you going to miss the chance to have a good old wrangle with the women on this forum?

Edited (bit of a freudian slip got in there...[Www])

[woolybananasbrother]

Is noone going to ddefend the little ladies on this forum?

[Tancrède]

[quote user="cooperlola"]I detest the use of the word lady unless the person has had that title confired upon them, or is married to a Lord.  I am a woman thanks very much, and the way I dress and disport myself is my business and mine alone.  If that means I am not a lady then hoorah for that - it just goes to reinforce my point.  The word has a great tendency to be used by men in a partronising way which seems to convey all that they believe to be true about a woman's appearance and manners, and absolutely nothing about her talents and intellectual abilities… [/quote]I am sorry to learn that intellectual abilities should be considered a more important criterion than manners.

But glad to hear the hereditary principle being supported.

[cooperlola]

[quote user="Puzzled"]I do hope it's Peter Noone, I had my first little crush on him [:$][/quote]

ROFL

[IMG]http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q103/cooperlola/rofl-50476.jpg[/IMG]