What would you have done?

[anotherbanana]

Maybe others’ might have a view. This happened last night.

About 0100hrs I was quietly watching TV, dog asleep on sofa.

Knock on the door.

Turn on outside light to reveal small teenage type female person. Open top half of door, cautiously, all sorts of thoughts running through head.

‘Can I please make a phone call, I have run away from home because my parents beat me’

Hesitation for a second then let her in, heavy torch close to hand. Gave her phone, she phones her boyfriend to come and get her. He lives apparently 20 minutes away.

Story emerges: she is 17, dating a guy of 31, parents object, rows, violence apparently, she has the marks, wants to go to the gendarme.

Was locked in her bedroom, no phone. Escaped when parents were asleep.

My house light was the only one on in the village, apparently.

So, we walk down to the village square, she is clearly distraught, and wait for boyfriend.

She apparently is at a special school because she ‘sees’ people, not monsters or ghosts but people!

Boyfriend is a driver who lost his job because he is dating her.

Boyfriend arrives in a hurry.

Me returns coldly to my sofa, not the dog’s who is very anxious because I went out without him, so I gave him a treat.

Did I do right?

[Lori]

Oh my, Oh my my my !

It could have gone so many different ways.

What would I do?  Well, I don't live where you live, so I have no idea what the area is like or what types of "things" go on around there.  I think that kind of knowledge can make a big difference in how we react to things such as this.

The only place I have ever lived where someone could walk up to my front door and ring the bell was in the U.S.  Things like this are known to happen there (stranger ringing bell or knocking on door) and it was rarely ever legit.  So, I would not have answered the door, particularly not at that hour.  Far too risky.

Where we live now, we have an Interphone and it gets rung rather frequently by teenagers, then they run off.  It has a camera, so we can see who is there and speak to them.  If it was a girl, alone in the middle of the night, I would speak to her via the Interphone to see what was going on.  From there, if she told me that story, I'd offer to make a call for her, but could not bring her in the house. 

However, I must say that I'd be very hesitant to be a part of calling a 31 year old to pick up a 17 year old.  Is 16 still the age of majority in France or is it not?  What if the truth is not quite what she told you?

Oh and if she wanted to go to the Gendarmes, then they are who I would have offered to call for her.

[idun]

This is awful for you. I don't know what I would have done wooly to be honest. I am a sucker for helping.

In France we had a barred window next to our front door, so I would have opened that at night, not that luxury here.

Also, very bad people use young girls pleading for help, so it could have gone:-  she says you tried to assault or rape her. Or her boyfriend rushes in and which ever, you are in big trouble.

You did what you did, and am wondering as to what you should do about it now, maybe call the local gendarmerie on Monday, because if the parents have reported her missing  and they check the boyfriends phone, they  will be able to trace your number from the call history. OR if the gendarmes have not got the boyfriends number, they will be able to get it from your call history, that would work both ways. You will have to decide.

Sounds like those video interphones are a great idea.

[Ken]

I think I would have phoned the Gendarmes regardless of what she wanted. In any event it is credit to your good nature you helped her, perhaps naively, but it appears to have turned out well.

[BritinBretagne]

If I was the father of a 17 year old girl, especially one with mental health issues, I would not consider having someone arrange for my daughter to be collected by an unemployed man almost twice her age in the middle of the night as turning out well.

Getting the boyfriend to collect her has got her off your hands but I don’t think that you can wash your hands of the situation. I would certainly have been making a visit to the Gendarmerie first thing in the morning armed with all the details I have. There are some very serious issues underlying this story that cannot be brushed under the carpet.

[Lehaut]

My mother in law lived in sleepy Livingston Village just outside Edinburgh. A couple of years ago, similar event, late in the evening, knocking on the door, light on. Given her age and infirmity she did not open it or call out. Next morning the home help rushed in in a panic, there was blood all over the front door and step.

Turns out, a guy had been stabbed and was trying desperately to get help. The next house after mother in laws did open the door, ambulance called, life saved.

MIL was very upset she did not open the door, family convinced her, in her position, she did the right thing.

[alittlebitfrench]

First of all, well done Wolly for helping.

Secondly, I totally totally agree with what Brit said.

A 17 year old girl with metal health issues with a 31 year old man !!!

A trip to the police station is in order. It really is.

You have to let them deal with it.

[idun]

 Well, what about these parents, if they have been locking in her room and beating her.

Sadly, I would imagine that the gendarmes would return her to them.

I cannot say that there are not any good, conscientious and decent gendarmes, but too many, well, what can I say about them, too many are jobsworths, who will take the easiest solution according to their way of looking at things, and do not take into account consequences. I have known them be grossly negligent, stuff that would have been on national news in the UK, even senior officers ignored a very serious situation.

Unless this girl is made some sort of ward of court, I simply cannot imagine that this will end well.

AND the boyfriend being unemployed, well, he lost his job because of this relationship, he may be a very good and decent bloke, so I shall not pass judgement on him, and he came immediately when she needed him.

But yes, I think that contacting the gendarmerie is necessary.

[anotherbanana]

The girl was first going to go to the gendarmes then wanted to be put in a foyer d’acceuil. Dont think they can force her to return home.

[Lori]

[quote user="anotherbanana"]The girl was first going to go to the gendarmes then wanted to be put in a foyer d’acceuil. Dont think they can force her to return home.[/quote]

If her circumstances at home were as she stated, she should have no problem getting placed in a foyer d'acceuil.  Although in many places in France, there are waiting lists for such places.

Our daughter's best friend was placed in one (different reasons) after we moved from France.  Prior to that, she stayed mainly with us.  It took a long time to get placed in the foyer, but she eventually did and was there for a few years.