Advice on Integration

[mitzi]

My partner and I have been looking for a house in the Brittany area for the last five years with very little luck, either we do not have enough money or the property requires too much renovation.  I am 71 and he is 66.  Both fit.  We are not looking for a holiday home.  We want to retire to France and integrate with the French people and way of life.  At last we thought we had found a little house near Rostrenen, in a village, with a garden, within walking distance of Shops and we could afford it.  However, my partner went into a local garage for petrol and spoke to an English woman there who said that they had struggled with their business and there was a lot of bad feeling between the British and the French.  We also had feedback from someone else who lives further down near Vannes and they had also heard there was bad feeling between the French and English in a rough circle between Baud, Pontivy and Rostrenen.  We want to move to France, integrate with the French, improve our French speaking and generally enjoy the French way of life.  This is our dream.  Please does anyone have any similar experiences or is it as I feel that one makes one's own experiences and not listen to someone elses.

[Will]

You are perfectly correct, you make your own experiences and shouldn't live by other people's. For every person who says how marvellous it is in France, there will be another with unfavourable comments.

Having said that, though, central Brittany is one of the few parts of France where there has been a bit of a revolt against 'English invaders' so you may do better to look elsewhere. How valid these fears are is a debatable subject, but what is certain is that they do exist.

As far as that much abused word 'integration' is concerned, you will always be 'les etrangers' and never become French. As long as this isn't a problem for you, and you can laugh about it with your neighbours, and you make a real effort not just to talk in their own language but to understand the cultural differences between the countries, and get into the French mindset, things will be fine. Trouble begins when groups of immigrants of whatever nationality form closed circles and don't embrace the local culture - the French are not bound by concepts of political correctness and can appear to be highly racist. eally, they are a proud nation and will defend their culture and their country (though to hear the way they moan about things among themselves the concept is stretched rather far sometimes). Likewise, they don't appreciate foreigners telling them what they should be doing, or complaining about life in France.

[mitzi]

Will

Thank you for your reply.  It makes sense and perhaps co-exist is a better word than integrate.

[Ac50]

Mitzi

you should look in Normandy, close to where we are.  We have been here 5 years now, seen children through school here, renovated and sold a house etc.  We love it and have found many friends in our small town.  Even the lady in the bank comes round the counter to kiss us when we go in!  My husband made a big mistake last year and accepted a job in Canada.   Where he is based in Nova Scotia they have an expression to describe immigrants - "from away".  There was a obituary in the local newspaper for a lady who moved there when she was 3 years old, but they still described her as being "from away",  yet we never experienced that here in France, despite the fact that none of us spoke French when he accepted the job here.  Thankfully when the decision was made to move to Canada, we were in a position that we could buy a smaller house here in Manche, and now all the children are at university, I can come back to France more often.  I miss it so much and know we will never find the same lifestyle we had here. I am back for 2 months again now, and feel a different person after just a week of being back. If you really want something enough and have a dream, only you can stop it happening.  Take your time and look around - you will know when you've found the right place for you.  Good luck with your search.

[SaligoBay]

[quote user="Ac50"]

If you really want something enough and have a dream, only you can stop it happening. [/quote]

Except in Canada, apparently!  [:D]

[nimportequoi]

One of the most important things if you want to integrate or co-exist is the ability to speak (or the willingness to learn) the language. You won't find many French people in rural Brittany who speak English and if you look on one particular Brittany forum, it seems that the people who have problems here with integration are those who can't speak French.

[Ac50]

Although it helps to speak the language I don't think that is the most important thing, as we've learnt by moving to Canada.  They all speak English there - a form of it anyway!!!!  Seriously, I really think it is about attitude.  We couldn't speak a word of french when we arrived, and I am sure I often sound like the policeman from Allo Allo when I talk now, but we were so excited about moving to France, were so positive and felt so safe that we just embraced everything thrown at us.  None of our neighbours here speak English but we get by, they seem really happy to have us as neighbours and want to help us settle in.  Often a smile can get you further than a million words.  I am really not being naive, it's not easy, but language really isn't the only barrier.

[Ac50]

unfortunately my husbands dream turned into a nightmare for the rest of the family!