moving to sw france

[frances]

hi my name is frances i am 43/ my husband alan is 36 we have a 15 year old daughter dannica and would like to move to the charente maritime ( aulnay de santonge or st jean de angeley ) as soon as possible but are worried about finding long-term rental and dannica's schooling we have been told she  would go back a year. if any one has any more information to help us we would really appreciate it

                          thankyou frances x

[Clarkkent]

For what it's worth ...

Move if you want to, but think very, very carefully about your daughter.

She is now one year away from GCSE. Is it fair to jeopardise her future?

She would be better remaining in an education system she knows than moving her to one which will be completely alien. She will have to put up with a different language and culture, a different curriculum and pedagogic environment. It may take her two or three years to cope with changes such as these. You will also tear her from her established social and support network. If you do move then make arrangements for her to stay in Britain and complete the current phase of her education. And if you are considering letting her join the French system when she has completed GCSE then have a Plan B. Why should your dream become her nightmare?

There is plenty of related material in the archives and you will find some parents (though I cannot recall reading input from children) who say their offspring took to the change like a duck to water but you will also find many more saying that it is not so easy.

 

[Wendy]

Hi Frances,  before you decide  about anything I ever so strongly recommend that you first check out thoroughly the local school(s). Does your daughter speak any french? how much? if she dosen't speak enough or any french at all the school may be quite difficult to deal with and once she turns 16 they can refuse to accept her at all. I speak from experience here. Get the schooling sorted out first!. I wish I had.

[daniel]

No problem for long term rental if you have a decent financial income.

As for your daughter, the cultural shock might be OK but the Aulnay/ St

Jean d'Angely area is rural

and if you come from London or some other big city, she could get

bored. I suggest you visit the school with her and trust her feeling.

[Wendy]

I agree with you there about the rural thing. My teens were city boys and, as nice as the countryside is, boredom is a problem. The local french kids don't seem to be social at all and even though the local college has a substantial number of kids in it you very rarely see any teens around anywhere!. They must all stay at home. We have a Centre Loisirs nearby but the only activities there are for the oldies.

[daniel]

This is true. French kids easily visit/invite each other for an

afternoon or the whole week end but are rarely allowed to wander in the

streets.

[Wendy]

My 13 year old son cant seem to even get invited anywhere after nearly 2 years! For his 11th birthday he handed out invitations to nine boys from his class. we set up the party in our dining room... no-one came!

[SaligoBay]

[quote user="wen"]My 13 year old son cant seem to even get invited anywhere after nearly 2 years! For his 11th birthday he handed out invitations to nine boys from his class. we set up the party in our dining room... no-one came![/quote]

Wen, how horrible!  [:(] 

Did they say they would come?   Did you put your phone number on the invitations?

 

 

[daniel]

Wen,

Have you tried to talk to the parents of these boys ? You need to know

if the problem comes from the relationship between your son and his

would-be friends or from their parents. Be aware that french people

usually know nothing about your way of life. We tend to see the Brits

as hypocrite and to be wary at first. This can be overcome in 83% of

the cases (remember : le Pen obtained 17 % in 2002).

If your son really feels excluded, you should talk to the principal,

conseiller principal d'education and/or professeur principal at the

college.

btw : where are you in France ? My daughter is 13 too and she likes english ... and boys !

[thomas16]

HI FRANCES,

 

WE HAVE BEEN HERE SINCE MAY 05,  WE ARE NOT EXPERTS IN EDUCATION, WE HAVE AN 11YR OLD, SHE WENT TO THE LOCAL SCHOOL, AND YES, THEY WANTED TO KEEP HER DOWN ONE YEAR, MOST SCHOOLS DO.  SHE AND WE DECIDED TO SEND HER TO A FRENCH LANGUAGE SCHOOL TO HELP HER WITH HER FRENCH.  IT IS OK TO KEEP ONES CHILD DOWN BUT SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN STUDYING WITH 9,10 YR OLDAND THE WORK SHE WAS DOING BEFORE SHE LEFT THE VILLAGE SCHOOL SHE  DID 2 YEARS AGO, SO TO KEEP HER DOWN SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN BORED AND UNSTIMULATED.  IT REALLY DEPENDS ON THE  CHILD, IT IS VERY, VERY HARD FOR THEM AND THE FRENCH SYSTEM WILL NOT WAIT FOR HER OR MAKE  HARDLY ANY ALLOWANCES FOR BEING ENGLISH. UNLESS SHE HAS A GREAT KNOWLEDGE OF FRENCH SHE WILL NEED A TUTOR.  I FELT GUILTY ENOUGH AND SHE IS 11 A NATURAL BREAK JUST AFTER COMMON ENTRANCE.  MY DAUGHTER HAS GONE FROM A TOP INDEPENDENT SCHOOL WITH ALL THE ACTIVITIES U COULD IMAGINE TO A SCHOOL THAT IS ALL ACADEMIC, NO ARTS, NO SPORT AND SHE SWAM FOR KENT, NO SWIMMING.  IT IT A TOUGH DECISION AND THE ONLY WAY WE COULD GIVE HER A GOOD START IS THE LANGUAGE SCHOOL, IT COSTS, BUT NOTHING LIKE ENGLAND, IF I CAN BE OF ANY HELP OR U WANT TO CHAT PLEASE LET ME KNOW..

[Wendy]

We are near Perpignan. It was very odd that birthday...he handed out all the invites with phone number and address written down plus a small welcoming message from me at the bottom. No replies at all and no kids on the day! we assumed they 'may' turn up so we went through with our plans but it was a big disappointment. He was getting along fine with those kids, this was before College, and had no problems in that dept. I just wondered if they 'do' birthday parties here. By the way, if anyone out there has teenage sons aged between 16 and 20 they are welcome to get in touch with my older two as they are feeling rather lonely here. The local teens are not outgoing at all. My eldest is a quiet boy but my 18 yr old is desperate for some friends. They have joined  some local clubs but the other kids just seem to attend then go home.

 

[Euromotorshop]

[quote user="wen"]My 13 year old son cant seem to even get invited anywhere after nearly 2 years! For his 11th birthday he handed out invitations to nine boys from his class. we set up the party in our dining room... no-one came![/quote]

This is horrible and I really feel for you and espicially your son. I hope it didn't knock him too much.