majlen

Would be pervs... This post got over 3000 visits....  bloody hell!

This may not be relevant to you but there is a breed of caterpillar here which inhabit pine trees and Oak trees… and other trees….  Each spring (very early) they take a walk from the tree.  They do this in a very long column… nose to tail (if they have either!!)…   Here is a photo of this process… I am trying to figure how to send photos... hang tight I am a bit thick so may not manage it. I have seen this in my garden and was amazed at the site.  If you remove the leader the column stops and will not move on.  Very interesting…  Now where are my magnifying glass and short trousers….? [:P] If you look at the photo you will see how they appear.  The second photo shows the creature expelling from its back a secretion.  This travels up the spines and is introduced to the skin etc via the spines… Many badly informed and not very good looking people will tell you the spines inject the poison… strictly speaking they do not…  An injection relies upon pressure but the poison here is coated onto the spines using capillary action…  Anyway, It secretes the poison even if lightly touched with a finger,  a sharp stick, a banana,  a brick and a dog’s or cat’s tongue.  Even severed embarrassment will cause  it to push out the stuff…  This secretion is highly poisonous and will seriously harm cats and dogs who for some reason will lick the creatures. Even humans who might lick them or touch them and then place the fingers in the mouth place, or onto an open wounding of flesh will suffer pain and reactions.  I have not heard of any human being killed with this poison.  If the poison gets on human skin it will cause moderate to severe irritation and can cause blisters.  If in contact with the eyes it will cause severe, although temporary irritation…  Kinda like Eastenders with their latest PC trip….  It certainly can and often does kill a dog (not always the same one as my dreadful grammar might suggest…)  … hence the nickname ‘Dog-maimer’…   “Why not dog killer”?  I ask myself   let me just take another hit of that secretion and re-focus!!! …  I was watching that bloke on TV who eats things in the woods and lights fires with bricks (maybe I should try sticks) and all that and copied him and eat (that's 'eight' by the way not eeeeet) some of these creatures… Hic!  Wibble!!![8-)] Back to the soft beasts… I prefer to call them the Thaumetopoea processionea or Processionary caterpillar but they are also known as the Brown tail moth caterpillar or ‘that nasty stingy bast**d in the garden. [blink] Is it possible your moggy licked one of these beasts?[:P] On a more serious note these are very hard to spot, so avoid bare feet this time of year... I hope that you find this info of use and that it will save the lives of many cats and dogs and owls.  If not, maybe you will find this post of use if you plan to lick any caterpillars in the near future.  It does sting but what a trip.... Better than magic mushrooms any day..... My advice is do not lick anything you cannot identify (actually there is an exception to that rule….but that is another story…)   Regards   Len   PS.. Your home may be at risk if you do not keep up your mortgage payments….    I am Spartacus… and I want to negotiate an unconditional surrender…  Take the salves and let me go.

[quote user="Catalpa"][quote user="Will"] Because censorship is still comparatively rare on this forum - this isn't AngloInfo [:D] [/quote] Good point. [:P] But on this occasion, AngloInfo might be the best receptacle for the original post. [6] [/quote]   Sorry to have caused offence.  I had no idea your rules were so strict..  Does moving to France or having an interest therein automatically rule out any fun?  Bye... sorry to  huv trabbled yoew  (Using the vanacular there..... child???)

[quote user="tigerfeet"] [quote user="Will"]Because censorship is still comparatively rare on this forum - this isn't AngloInfo [:D][/quote] so you see this as a genuine post that deserves to be in the french post bag seams like the work of a child to me [/quote]   Seams???  Child>>>>   My gosh!! 

[quote user="tigerfeet"] [quote user="Will"]Because censorship is still comparatively rare on this forum - this isn't AngloInfo [:D][/quote] so you see this as a genuine post that deserves to be in the french post bag seams like the work of a child to me [/quote]   F... rench

[quote user="tigerfeet"] th op was in the health section a short while ago why do the mods bother moving it , why not bin this rubbish [/quote]   ?...?....?

In 2006 my Mrs said to me "Major, we should live every day as if it is our last... let's move to France".  "I agree... darling" I replied..... So in December of that year we moved to France and since then we have both been confined to bed attached to a saline drip, wearing an oxygen mask with a rubber tube stuck up our bottoms....[:-))] L

Does any one know the quickest way to a woman's heart beacue I am getting conflicting views on this? I have always believed it to be by means of an incision in the thoracic cavity, then bypassing the myocardium, once inside the rib cage it’s a simple matter of removing the pericardium and hey presto! There it is. My mate in the pub says it's with flowers.  Len [:)] (Mind you he does work in a petrol station so what would he know about matters of the pump)!!!!

[quote user="Catalpa"][quote user="majlen"] is 12 years old and goes to bed at 9:30pm seemed to be sening texts at 1:30am and 5:30am etc...  Alos late at night.   One number it seemed she texted 176 times in 5 days.  We checked the number and it turned out to be that of her friend but she (the friend)  had not used the phone for over 4 months!! I noticed numerous other anomolies, not least my daughter texting my wife (we all live in the same house) 22 times in 3 hours one school night?? [/quote] I know this may come as a shock, but I think your wife may be having that affair with that petrol pump attendant from Calais after all and they're using your daughter's phone... [:P] [/quote]   Let's not be silly now!!!  The telephone thing is very serious.  ... As an update they have admitted to me that they have a software error... Yet.... They seem to think I am over reacting!!!!   I asked has it affected any one else's telephone and guess what they say....   Like I say, check your bills.... and your Teds if you must

[quote user="ErnieY"] [quote user="majlen"]Sorry about spelling..  I am a bit angry![8-)][/quote]Is your anger just about the overbilling or are you still angry over your wife running off with the petrol pump attendant from Calais [6]   [/quote]   I'm a fast healer....  She left the Jag and the hand cream!

[quote user="Cathy"]Well, you had me fooled.  Mind you, I didn't know what "swinging" was until this thread, or at least I thought that it was what children did in parks.[/quote]   Right Cathy... [:D]. no doubt my boldness made you swoon.....   

Yes, I did change it....   Well come on!..   Goot plenty of interest... You bunch of perverts. I shall come clean....  Stop it!! Stop it!!!!  Ohhh Mrs..... I am not a swinger, nor I hope is my wife...  Nor has she run off with a petrol pump attendant. Don't kick me off...  I promise not to be naughty again.   Len   PS Amazed at some of the private emails I got....  

This may ring a bell with others. I was until a few days ago with a certain phone company (aimed at Brits)....  They stopped sending me accounts in November last year, something to do with a change of ownership.  It was not till I noticed my bills increased a great deal (from bank statements) that I though anything was up...   I contacted the company and asked for hard copies of the last 3 bills. When they arrived I spend hours going over them.  First off my daughter, who is 12 years old and goes to bed at 9:30pm seemed to be sening texts at 1:30am and 5:30am etc...  Alos late at night.   One number it seemed she texted 176 times in 5 days.  We checked the number and it turned out to be that of her friend but she (the friend)  had not used the phone for over 4 months!!   I noticed numerous other anomolies, not least my daughter texting my wife (we all live in the same house) 22 times in 3 hours one school night?? I have cancelled both my contracts with the company.   I have sent them 3 emails, made 4 calls and written a recrded letter to them.  Finally they agree that MAYBE there is a system error.  They tell me not to panic and that they will refund obver charging... Try as I might I just cannot seem to impress upon these people how serious this is.  I suggested that if the error had not been so huge, first they would probably not believe me and second I probably would not have noticed....  They just say that I am over reacting??? I urge anyone who has an account with a Telecoms company which last year changed hands and which stopped sending invoices by emeail in October or December...  CHECK YOUR BILLS!!!! Hope this is of use to you...  Sorry about spelling..  I am a bit angry! [8-)]

[quote user="Will"] The Leclerc offer looks very good on the face of it and will no doubt suit many people on this forum, particularly as the top-ups last 12 months, regardless of their value, and it is possible to buy top ups from anywhere - even overseas. It is easy to miss the fact that the service costs 1.50€ per month, so if you buy a 10€ top up it will have almost run out after six months even if you make no calls at all. I think it is still very good value, probably the best you will get in France, but worth pointing that out, I think. [/quote]   If you buy a card (on initial purchase) and pay 50€ you automatically get 15€ added value... That equates to almost a year of 'line rental'.....

[quote user="Richard"] Hi, Interesting point. as I am just looking at French pay-as-you-go contracts. I went into an Orange shop, only to be told that PAYG cards only last a max of one month, which is of no use to me. I have looked for L'ecrec on the internet but can't find it - do you know anytjing else about this PAYG scheme, and where I can find it?   Thanks   Richard [/quote]   Pop into their store and they have leaflets and you can uy one over the counter.  Beware though that calls are 38c per minute.  We tend only to use text so it is very cheap..  The 12 month validity is a new thing in France...