Selina99

Patrick, thank you. The one thing I will not do is part with a single penny piece without a shedload of research and a decent legal contract. That's why I'm here, to gather as much information as I can. Trust is all very well, but when you have worked as long and as hard as I have, and have had experience of failed relationships and near disasters, there is no way in a thousand years would I hand over what little bit I've toiled endlessly to generate, not even if it was to George Clooney on bended knees offering me his hand in marriage.

These replies are helping me more than any of you could ever know. Thank you so much. There is another option for us, one that got me more excited than the thought of packing up and moving to France (which to be honest, scared me more than got me excited) And that other option is to buy an American motorhome. You know the big boys with the slide-outs and full size everything? A 40ft beast... Well we've been looking at those too. Then when the renovations get too much we can nip off somewhere for a week or so... That sounds more like it. I do feel like I've done the bricks and mortar thing and while I've still got the energy, I should pack a bag and go and see something of the planet other than an office and a semi-detatched. My head is spinning. There are choices to be made and sometime very soon, I have to be making them. Because you just don't know how many tomorrows you've actually got, do you?

Hello Tresco In answer to your questions... He bought the properties with his ex. He has had a meeting with the Notaire and is taking steps to get the properties put into his name. He does not own a property in the UK any more. And yes, I've thought about my occupation and my independence. I'm tired of it. I earn a good wage but all I am doing is working my butt off and paying a mortgage and not really 'living'. I'm sick of being independant and struggling to maintain a lifestyle that gives me no pleasure whatsoever. What's the point of having a nice house, nice car, nice garden if you're always at work paying for it and can never enjoy it? Sometimes I feel like I'd rather live in a tent and not have all the stupid overheads. Rant over.

I am new to this forum, I would like to say how sad I feel reading your post and send my sincere condolences. Selina.

Teamedup, thank you for your thoughts. Sorry about the word 'partner' but I feel too old to use the word 'boyfriend'. I have thought about renting my house out, but have also thought about selling it. If I did that, I could pay off ALL my debts (which don't amount to more than a few thousand pounds) and have a tidy lump to put in the bank. Which both of us could use as fallback should things not work out. However, if things do work out, we can then invest some of it into another property to renovate, whether in France or in the UK. The point about marrying him is very interesting. If we should make a success of this, a few years down the line, what happens to me if something happens to him, and I have invested years of work and money into the property? Will it all go to his child and the child's mother? Hmmm. He does say that if I decide to move to France, he will make sure the property is in joint names, but I'm not sure that this will make any difference, doesn't the house go to his child or something, is that not the law? Apologies if I sound really green and inexperienced with these questions, it's because I am.

Thank you Will. Your reply brought a tear to my eye...

I just feel like I am at a crossroads in my life and I'm in a wonderful position to be able to choose one of the paths. None of the paths will be without turmoil of some kind, I've never been one to look at things through rose tinted specs, and neither am I a pessimist. I think I'm a realist. I am reasonably happy with where I am living and with my job. I can't envisage it for the rest of my life though, but the one thing I know I want for as long as I can have it is to have this man for my partner, and if it means moving to France, I think I will have to go with it and make the move. He will be unhappy if he stays here, it has been his lifelong dream to live in France and owning the properties already - well he's getting on with trying to achieve his goals. Neither of us have been influenced by televsion programmes, in fact I've never seen a single one. I was never that interested in moving abroad, never thought it would happen to me and couldn't see the attraction. Now I can. My man will be there. I cannot envisage finding a job, if I did it would be a bonus. Can anyone give me any horror stories and worse case scenarios? LOL. I want to be prepared to talk with him soon and want to see if he's seriously thought about any issues which could arise. What do all you ex-pats miss about the UK? Selina

Thank you Tourangelle. I am a sales rep. My partner says to me that it is not imperetive that I find work, as I will be helping him to renovate the houses and I will have equity from my own property to tide me over until the first property is ready to sell, and he is qualified in all kinds of trade and is the type of man to pick up work anywhere. As for feeling isolated because I don't speak the language, yes that worries me. I have basic 'o'level French and on my trip recently I found it very stimulating to be able to pick up phrases and struggle along with bits of conversation. People say I would 'pick it up' - I'm not so confident about that statement but I'm not afraid of working at it to become more proficient. I am just worried because my partner is a very optimistic and enthusiastic man and makes everything sound really easy. The bit about doing the houses up and selling them for example. What's the housing market like in Brittany? Are people looking for little cottages? I don't think the idea is to buy them and rent them out for holiday properties, so will he be able to sell them once they're ready? This forum looks like the place that I'll get my answers. Thank you for any contributions.   Selina.

My partner of 12 months owns two little properties in Brittany which he intends to renovate, but due to circumstances he's owned them for nearly 2 years and hasn't been able to get out to start the work. We live in the UK and he has had complications here selling a property and things. Anyway. He wants to spend the rest of his life with me and I with him. He has asked me to move to Brittany with him and help him with the renovations. It will mean selling my house and giving up a well paid job. I don't want to rent my house out, I am nervous that there will not be enough rent payments to cover the mortgage, plus all the problems that go with renting your house to tenants... I can barely speak any French and I wonder how on earth I would be able to get a job. My partner tells me that helping him renovate and finally sell the properties will be my job and he will put me on the deeds of the houses to make sure I feel secure. Its not that. I think he has a very romantic view of living in France, and I am a bit of a cynic. Part of me would love to sell up, pay my car off and bank the equity and go for it, the other part of me says I'm mad and how could I ever dream of giving up my security. I am 44 and have no family. Has anyone here had the same fears I have and overcome them and is happy now, or am I heading for disaster?