Richard-R
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Posts posted by Richard-R
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What about us 'boys'. Please tell me the local nurses do a one and they will knock on my door any moment..please.Our local pompier cal' looks like it was photographed around about 1980. Wife did not go wobbly a the knees when they turned up, but then her brother is a fireman in Essex.
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It's got worse.Orange used to send a text one week before the credit ran out so i would use the remaining credit to make international calls, now the sods a have stopped the text service and i lost €30 because i checked the credit after it run out. The great French mobile rip off.
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A copy of this years water bill. €127. 1 tenth of what we paid in London per year. Most of the gifts we send we buy in Spain, just to confuse people.Oh and those candy cig's you used to get in the U.K. and can still get in France. Not seen the rolling baccy yet?
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Sorry Chum Do Not Speak French and just here on holiday. Seem to work for us most of the time but saying that we only get about 10 cold callers a year, though we did get JW'ed by an English couple which was a little surreal.
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http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4084947.stmSorry not a hot link, but well worth a read
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http://www.freewebspace.net/This is a good site to find free web hosting. www.zhosting.tk are offering 1GB of space for free. Bit slow a the moment but lots of others and one i think one with 3GB of space.
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Custom's Men ( Sorry People), stopped me at the channel tunnel and asked me if i had more than 10,000€ of luggage. Yes i do..customs man..oh well off you go then. To surreal for words..and this was the French side. Did i pack my own bag's, no never, my wife does both, to split our gear between the two, incase one goes walkies. Yes and that large bootle of Cognac is her's!!!!!!!officer.
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CartFull( or CarreFoul) supermarket as a good selection this year done here in the south.
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In the far off days of my broadband service i used a DSL barricade router and modem and than just plugged it into my airport base station. Bob yours auntie. It all took about 10 minutes to set up. It also meant i could use wireless conection and a usb one with my old laptop.
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Re: GB/ FR stickers( for me). We have driven in Andorra, Spain, Portugal, Gibralter and England with just the fr and stars on our number plate, been stopped a few times by the police and never any trouble , not sure if it would be the same for a car from the U.K. ;-) though. We drive to Spain 2 or 3 times a month and the yellow vest law is a new one on me. Will have to ask a couple of pal's in Barcelona, when we pop down for lunch.
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(quote) Burglars ? Some advice ..... Going to bed the other night, I noticed people in my shed stealing things. I phoned the police but was told no one was in the area to help. They said they would send someone over as soon as possible. I hung up. A minute later I rang again. "Hello," I said, "I called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. You don't have to hurry now, because I've shot them" Within minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area plus helicopters and an armed response unit. They caught the burglars red-handed. One of the officers said : "I thought you said you'd shot them" To which I replied : "I thought you said there was no one available"(unquote)
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God created a nice garden to sit in and than a man to sit it it and enjoy a glass of wine, and just for fun a woman to nag him to get on with the mowing.
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Be nice to see see upload option from a Mac Os 10+ machine.
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I'm sure if you tell her it is full of booze she will soon chage here mind.:-)
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French Police speed without fear. I was pulled over by a traffic cop on on a bike last year. He was not sure what to do with me..very fast car but not breaking the speed limit but with a U.K. photo card licence,( French reg car) so he said follow him down to the next speed trap on the Motorway. Well we ended up going at 200km/ph to keep up with him. Blue lights all the way. The police at the next check point said we where o.k. and to go on out way. AT 130 kph. oh and clean our rear lights...DOHGod and the speed the local police bomb around at in Narboone. Law unto themselves.
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I can not believe the limit on French cards. Only 4000€ on my CA gold card per month. More than enough for most thing's but there are times when i need to spend a lot more than this, but the other side is there is no cheque limit. I purchased a new car a few weeks a go and asked if they needed a bankers cheque. No an orinary cheque would be O.K. Collected the car and gave them the remainder of 10,000€ on a personal cheque. Now AMEX, i have no limit on there card, based out f the U.K. but a Eurocard. I just send off a cheque evey month to cover my balance. Annual free include very good travel insurance for 7 people, so more more than covers the card membership cost, plus a very good travel service and finder service.
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I would second that. The best thing is to ask your insurance company what THERE requirements are re: fire prevention.
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[quote]The worst part is the people you meet in supermarkets at 3 a.m. Apart from the stoned ones with the munchies and the twitchy ones on speed there are the nutters, the paranormals and the plain insomnia...[/quote]
Hell, whats wrong with popping out for a few Mars bars and a large packet of Rizla's. Sour grapes from the generation before all night shopping i think. -
CHAV'SSorry if its been up before. Delete it if it has. 1.What do you call a Chav in a box? Innit. 2. What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet? Sorted. 3. What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it? Safe. 4. What do you call an Eskimo Chav? Innuinnit. 5. Why are Chavs like slinkies? They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight ofstairs. 6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit? The bride. 7. If you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him? It might be your bike. 8. What's the difference between a Chav and a******onut? One's thick and hairy, the other's a******onut. 9. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night? What you lookin' at?" 10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box? Paint three stripes on it. 11. 2 Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving? The police. 12. Where do you take a Chavette for a decent night out? Up the gary! A chav walks into the local job centre, marches straight up to the counter and said "Hi, I'm looking for a job". The man behind the counter replies "Your timing is amazing. We've just got one in from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac twin daughters. You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes and wear the uniform provided. The hours are a bit long but the meals are provided. You also have to escort the young ladies on their overseas holidays. The Salary package is £200,000 a year ". The chav says "You're having me on!" The man behind the counter says "Well you started it!"_________________
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Im'pear BushEngland's Notice Of Revocation Of Independence3 November 2004To the citizens of the United States of America,In the light of your failure to elect an acceptable President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. (Except Utah, which she does not fancy.) Your new prime- minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP (for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:1. You should look up ‘revocation’ in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up ‘Aluminium’. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour’, 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix’ ize’ will be replaced by the suffix ‘ise’. You will learn that the suffix 'burgh is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.2. There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of ‘ize’.3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to******ey, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as ‘Taggart’ will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is Devon. If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become shires eg.Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters.5. You should relearn your original national anthem, God Save the Queen, but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.6. You should stop playing American football. There is only one kind of football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American football but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2006. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called rounders which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler.8. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.9. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.10. As a sign of penance, 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.11. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. The substances formerly known as American Beer will henceforth be referred to as ‘Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine.12. From November 1st the UK will harmonise petrol (or ‘Gasoline ‘ as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon- get used to it).13. You will hand over Mel Gibson to face charges of treason.14. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).Thank you for your co-operation.
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We always get funny looks in the supermarket when we dig through to find the best dated products and even more funny looks shorting through packets of ham to find the ones with the least fat.
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A lot of village businesses are under threat both in France and the U.K.. Our post office is only open in the morning's. This as a lot to do with how people are paid there wages and how most of us now pay our bills. Very few people now live from day to day or week to week. I think all that is needed now is a stamp machine in our village for most of the residents. Every time i pop in to post a letter or parcel, the only other people in there, are just in there for a natter. I am waiting for the postal service to shrink also in rural areas also. I now account for 5% of all post in our village ( of 200 soul's). Not long before they set up cental mail boxes. On a better note our shop ( the one and only) seems to do a very good trade all week.
Blunkett resigns
in The Complete France Post Bag
Posted