jjmb126

Hi MikeP yes in the ideal world, the best solution would be a move back to the UK but that conversation cannot start when someone's response to just the mention of the UK elicits a torrid of abuse(verbal) based on ignorant views of the Daily Mail etc No, I have decided to accept their decision but as way of protecting my Mum's interests, I am applying for Tutelle. A judge will then decide if there is a need for limited guardianship given the circumstances and appoint person/persons from the Community. That is the most I can do to be honest. I leave on Wednesday so the decision will be made once I am back in the US. Apparently you don't need to present. This will be my last visit to France as they have refused our help ( my sisters don't really want to help) and they have made their decision. My Dad has few memories issues but nothing that is not normal for someone of his age and Mum has her full mental facilities (it just her body that has let her down), so they are well aware of what they are doing. I will write once I know what the tutelle decision is. I don't hold up much hope for it, to be honest.

Despite my optimism before my journey to France, after 2 days here I realised it was entirely misplaced. They are determined to stay and seem to think care in a long term care home is free. They have also been told or read that getting care in the UK will take at least 18 months and even to see a doctor it will take 6 months. A couple of hours a go I was for upping sticks immediately but have since calmed down a bit. I have asked a local boy here (he is 24 so not really a boy) who is English and fluent in French as he was educated here to accompany me to the local Marie to explain the situation. Reading the link in an earlier post, it seems the commune can take control of guardianship if things deteriorate as much I foresee Maybe the Marie can explain more clearly the cost of residential care for my Mum, which they accept will be need sooner rather than later. Also means the commune knows they can have guardianship if they need to go down that route. I will keep you updated on what happens over the next few months as a guide to elderly care for expats in France, as obviously that is going to be our experience now.

thanks for all the info. Given the information that my Mum got from the specialist on Monday and the fact her neighbour was there to ask about the driving (No NO NO!), they are now considering moving back to the UK. So hopefully this situation will be resolved soon. As to the question about falling and injuring, if a judge could decide a parent has injured themselves because they are in a situation that is a danger which could have been addressed by providing help and care, the child(ren) can be assess as negligent in the care of that parent. Much like you would if you had a child in the need of care.

Thank you Hereford for your reply and it confirms my concerns. Not necessarily for myself as I am not sure that a French court could impose anything on me in the States. However the situation is different for my 2 sisters in the UK. Hope you get your situation sorted out. Seems like a bit of minefield. Doesn't help when the said parents are refusing to get any help other than a home help once a week. Mum has been told to stop driving but she still drives one of those sans permis vehicles from time to time despite her disabilities. If they were to fall and seriously injure themselves, I think we are opening ourselves to be judged negligent under French law. Have contacted an English neighbour to see if they know of any notaires who speak English who can help us.

I am a dual citizen - US/British.

I am trying to get advice on how to help my parents. I live the USA so not ideally situated for the current issues my parents are having. Basically, my parent moved a small hamlet in Brittany when they retired. My Dad is an alcoholic so my Mum thought moving to the middle of nowhere would be a way of controlling this ailment. At the time, he was very ill and not expected to live much past his 60's. Mum was a 'young' fit 60 woman so if anything happened to her, she would cope. She was going to be like her Mother who soldiered on until she was in early 90's, However, it hasn't turned out like this and both of now in mid to late 70's. About 5 yrs ago we noticed Mum was stumbling a lot and her speech was becoming slurred as well as slow. She went to several doctors until she was finally diagnosed at the beginning of last year with a disease called Multiple System Atrophy. She is now severely disabled. Fortunately within the hamlet, they have very good neighbours who check up on them all the time and a home help once a week. So despite, all their difficulties (Dad is showing signs of dementia) they are refusing to move. This past week, my Dad fell and broke his upper right arm. My Mother is unable to dress herself completely due to her disabilities or deal with personal issues. Dad has been her main carer in this respect. Now he can't dress himself, let alone deal with Mum. Today, Mum fell (its part of the disease she has) and unable to get up. Dad normally helps but due to his broken arm he couldn't, Fortunately a neighbour called in and was able to help. After talking to this neighbour and finding out my Dad is sleeping downstairs and going around in his underwear, I have decided to fly over to France in the next couple of weeks to sort things out. This is not going to be easy as they are not excepting they need help. Additional factors are that one set of neighbours regularly go back to the UK for 2-3 wks during the year and they are busy in the summer with their rental business. The other neighbour recently found they have cancer and undergoing gruelling treatment so don't need the stress of looking out for my parents. Looking into all this I have found that children are expected to look after their parents or face criminal charges in France. This is somewhat concerning me but it is also some thing I can point out to my parents as a reason for taking over their care which might mean moving to a nursing home. I don't think it would be France as my Dad, despite living in France for last 13 yrs, speaks not a word of French. I have 2 sisters who live in Medway. How do I find out what my legal responsibilities are and how long does it take to put it in action. I don't think my parents would allow me to take on a power of attorney. Could I argue they can no longer be trusted to make this decision?