chris pp Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease. The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behaviour.The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim and pronounced "gonna re-elect him."Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the past four years. Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include: anti-social personality disorders, delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones, extreme cognitive dissonance, inability to incorporate new information, pronounced xenophobia and paranoia, inability to accept responsibility for own actions, cowardice masked by misplaced bravado, uncontrolled facial smirking, ignorance of geography and history, tendencies towards evangelical theocracy, categorical all-or-nothing behaviour.Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a bush found in Texas.Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meg Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 Chrispy Pea talking about STD's. I just had to look!!Nice one Chris, very clever![:D] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catalpa Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 "Chrispy Pea talking about STD's. I just had to look!!"Yes! [:P] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Head Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 You been on the grog Chris? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris pp Posted November 3, 2006 Author Share Posted November 3, 2006 "You been on the grog Chris? "Nah mate, don't drink. I am a bit concerned that this disease doesn't spread to far, could be the end of civilisation as we know it.My other theory, which I'm trying not to believe in, is that he's an alien.Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 I think it might be found in the Sarco Sea as well, and is closely related to a disease of the lower limbs known as Blaretow Knee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassis Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 Very good! Diseases and infections, both sexual and alimentary, seem to abound these days. Thank goodness we have at least one foodstuff we can trust and support unreservedly in David's Cameroon-Biscuit. Oh, and Mangy Campbell's-Soup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deimos Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 Did you see the Guardian survey about "threats to world peace". In the UK people think Bush is a greater threat to world peace than Kim Jong-il, a greater threat than the president of Hesbola and a greater threat than the Iranian President. In fact, only 1 in 4 Israeli voters say that Bush has made the world safer.http://www.guardian.co.uk/print/0,,329617605-111274,00.htmlIan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LEO Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 [quote user="Deimos"]Did you see the Guardian survey about "threats to world peace". In the UK people think Bush is a greater threat to world peace than Kim Jong-il, a greater threat than the president of Hesbola and a greater threat than the Iranian President. In fact, only 1 in 4 Israeli voters say that Bush has made the world safer. http://www.guardian.co.uk/print/0,,329617605-111274,00.html Ian[/quote] Could this disease be picked up by going behind a Bush?Leo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassis Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 I believe Kate Bush has tested negative - no sign of activity other than spontaneous self-silliness. So you can go behind that Bush in total safety.But Beware of Burning Bushes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LEO Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 [quote user="Cassis"]I believe Kate Bush has tested negative - no sign of activity other than spontaneous self-silliness. So you can go behnd that Bush in total safety.Beware of Burning Bushes. [/quote]I am glad you left out the apostrophe s Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tresco Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 What apostrophe? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassis Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 If anyone needs some spare apostrophes, here they are - help yourself.''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''For each one used, please contribute one euro to a charity of your choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 Dick will have something to say about that!!.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassis Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 Oop's - yes, of course - may'be by t'time he come's b'ck on line all th's'll be forgotten. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tresco Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 Speaking of forgetting things, I forgot to give your gift, Cassis [:$] (for National Sausage Month).[IMG]http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i76/twinm/forcassis.jpg[/IMG] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Smith Posted November 4, 2006 Share Posted November 4, 2006 I thought that the most pernicious sexually transmitted disease was children. Certainly yhe most expensive.What apostrophe? Putting an apostrophe into that sentence would have made no sense at all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LEO Posted November 4, 2006 Share Posted November 4, 2006 Kate's Bush Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Smith Posted November 4, 2006 Share Posted November 4, 2006 Subtle, tasteful and humorous. Not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Posted November 4, 2006 Share Posted November 4, 2006 What is the meaning of the apostrophe before a lonely 'h' one finds at the end of the occasional French surname? Is it like 'O'Reilly', for example, but in reverse? This is inevitably going to prove to be a very thick question, the answer to which is totally obvious....[8-)] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Smith Posted November 4, 2006 Share Posted November 4, 2006 I don't follow what you mean - give us an example. French apostrophe rules are a bit impenetrable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Posted November 4, 2006 Share Posted November 4, 2006 I think there was a footballer who very briefly played for Newcastle called something like Givenc'h (I should look up the actualité on Google, but it approximated to that), and I've since seen other instances of a surname separated somewhat incongruously (at least to an English eye) by an apostrophe from a solitary 'h'. A very distant echo at the back of my mind tells me it may be uniquely Breton, but it's probably not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassis Posted November 5, 2006 Share Posted November 5, 2006 If it's Breton then it's not French, is it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Posted November 5, 2006 Share Posted November 5, 2006 Stop splitting h'airs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TWINKLE Posted November 5, 2006 Share Posted November 5, 2006 Didn't you mean "Stop spitting hairs"? I know - I'm disgusting! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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