Meeting the Mayor

[idun]

The first Maire we had, had had us good and proper along with french people who were our neighbours. So how I would have felt if we had 'introduced ourselves', I would have felt foolish and very naive and very very angry too.

I had never heard of such a silly thing as introducing oneself until I got onto this board, and know no one who has done it of any nationality. I just thought it was from Dordogneshire or some such place, or an invention of UK Tv.

Our second Maire was bof, ordinary, maybe, until he tried to get a french friend of ours arrested, when he had done nothing at all, although someone had done something naughty. Drawn a spitting image type cartoon of the maire and elus and distributed it throughout the village.

The third was the original, who I would trust as far as I could throw.

The forth, a lovely lovely bloke who was in for quite some time until he retired.

The fifth, well my nemesis. What a horrible man, nasty, malicious, little man and they are just his good points and I 'm pretty sure that he would have equally kind words to say of me.

So one in five was a decent person.

As I said before, if I had considered opening a business then the Mairie and the Maire in particular would always be one of my first ports of call. Otherwise nope. I'd go to the do's in the villages and meet people there, and our village had a sort of Maire's Pot every year.

[Clair]

Our (French) neighbours were astonished and embarrassed that our maire hadn't come round to introduce himself to us and to the other Franco-Brit couple who had arrived  in the village 6 months before us.

[crossy67]

Prehaps your experiences of the local officials would have been different had you had the courtesy to introduce your self lol [:)].  I have always thought it was the done thing to do, way before I even considered France as a home or even a place to visit on holiday.

[Quillan]

I am glad somebody else wondered where this idea about meeting the mayor comes from. I think it might be via some of the old English TV programs and some of the publications aimed at people coming to France. If you are going to start a business, like we did, then all well and good. The only reason we went however was to ask where we went to register for tax and where the Chamber of Commerce was not to mention asking for permission to put up some sign's.

A lot of the stuff I saw and read before I came here led me to believe that the mayor was a god in the village and that everything had to be approved by him/her. I guess it might depend but round her ours isn't. OK to go and get forms from (like for building permission etc) but at the end of the day it's more to do with etiquette as he does not really have that many powers.

[YCCMB]

In seven years I've met the Maire once, by accident. I've been to the mairie three times: once to get a card for the dechetterie, once to get a planning application for a swimming pool, and once to ask for a calendar of the refuse collections. It was on this last occasion that I met the Maire, who came out of his office to talk to the secretary just as we were discussing collection of the "tri". As a result of joining in with the discussion, it was revealed (because the secretary had offered to phone up the Communaute de Communes and find out where we could dispose of our "tri" stuff if we weren't there for the once-a-month collection) that the village dechetterie doesn't have a facility for this...and the Maire joined in to say that this was ridiculous and he'd get something done about it. We all had a good laugh about the fact that the C de C told the secretary that I should take my rubbish to a place in Saintes, and I replied that it was a good job we had an Espace and not a Clio or I'd be spending all my holidays driving back and forth to the dump. "At least you've got a sense of humour" he said.

However, without having gone through the "courtesy" of going to see him, he knew exactly who I was, where I lived and who (because he's on the Conseil) was my neighbour. So, indeed, does everyone in the Mairie. "Where do you live?" asked the secretary "Over there" I said, waving vaguely in the general direction of my house, 2Km away. "Well, you could get Mme X, your neighbour to put out your tri for you" she said, correctly naming my neighbour.

I also met the Maire's wife by accident over the summer when I went to an expo at the Mairie. I was the floor show: they were having a "dictee" as part of the expo (on schooling through the ages) and I was the token Anglo who turned up to have a go. "This is the Mayor's wife" said someone, introducing us "Oh", she said "You're XXX's neighbour...I've heard all about you"

I wasn't given the impression I'd committed any faux-pas.............................nor do I believe I have.

[VandA]

[quote user="LEO"][quote user="Chancer"]

[quote user="VandA"]Hi, We have made an appointment to meet the Mayor of our local town (pop. c5000) tomorrow and are wondering what one is supposed to say at these meetings! [/quote]

I could understand the Maire asking this question but you surely must have had a reason to ask for the meeting so that should be your point of discussion.

You could perhaps ask is there anything else that as new arrivals and etrangers we should be aware of?

[/quote]

Maybe the reason is connected to gaining the interest free loan the OP is proposing on the Eco Pret,  thread.

[/quote]

Leo, what on earth do the two have to do with each other? How could a Maire have any influence on a government funded loan? I find the insinuation insulting.

I am amazed at the sort of people who are posting on this thread. As NormanH said

[quote]Your post overflows with the snobbery and class conciousness which most of us have left behind[/quote]

Some posts here overflow with the vitriol and offensiveness that I was happy to leave behind in the UK.

Why on earth do some people consider it impolite to introduce themselves to their local Maire? How can it be construed as anything other than courteousness?

I am still awaiting an apology from you NormanH for your offensive remarks on this and another thread - but I am guessing that your manners don't extend to that (or exist at all perhaps).

Thank you for the other (helpful) posts though. I am very glad I made the effort to meet our Maire, and will now feel happier when I bump into her at local functions knowing that I have already introduced myself.

[Chancer]

I reckon it was a UK telly thing and I for one got sucked in by it and also didnt know the difference between introduire and se presenter

It would appear that people on this forum are equally split between doing nothing, presenting themselves to the Maire and introducing themselves [:-))]

This one has to be my favorite though:

Prehaps your experiences of the local officials would have been different had you had the courtesy to introduce your self lol [:D].  I have always thought it was the done thing to do, way before I even considered France as a home or even a place to visit on holiday.

I bet they live in a swinging place!

[Quillan]

I seem to remember a TV program about a lady who came to France and set up some sort of shop. She had a load of trouble with the mayor including a barrier and No Parking sign's being placed outside her shop and some other stuff happened which I don't remember. It was put over that the reason was her shop sold much the same as somebody in the mayors family and how careful you had to be with the mayor as he (in this case) was so powerful. I remember Mrs Q at the time saying something like "well its obvious, she has set up in competition with the mayors family so they are trying to close her down, its nothing to do with him really being the mayor its just jealousy and looking after his 'own'". It smacked of abuse of power for personal (or in this case family) gain and I believe in the end she went to Prefecture who removed the barrier and the No Parking signs after which there were always the same cars parked outside her shop so nobody could park there. I seem to remember it all got rather nasty in the end but it was nothing to do with him being the mayor, he was just a very nasty bit of work.

I also remember something about somebody trying to build or renovate a house and problems with the mayor. Well the mayor can object providing he/she has a really good reason but planning is given by the DDE (unless its changed recently) and not the mayor and its them that have the final say. As said its a courtesy thing, its not obligatory to seek out the mayor and introduce yourself. If it makes you happy to so well of course you can but its up to the individual. Personally if I moved to another village I don't think I would bother unless I was starting a business and need some help with sign's etc.

[Patf]

It depends too what kind of person he/she is. Our first mayor was very pompous and bossy - "new broom".

You hardly ever see the mayor here as he works in a woodyard and has his own farm too. He's very modest and self-effacing, mixes with everyone. His deputy who does all the work is our neighbour and we look after her dog for her during the day as she's a widow and is out a lot. As soon as she goes out he's around here.

But these are tiny communes - the job must be quite different in a town.

[idun]

Me meeting Mr le Maire E as an act of courtesy? He'd already done us all up good before we even moved in. Meeting him could have improved our lot? not in our case. I am so glad that the notion of 'meeting him' etc, hadn't crossed our minds.

This idea actually feels to me as if it is rather colonialist asking to see the local head tribesman.

Mistaken also to believe that all Maires are good and rightious and honorable. Don't know what any FN Maires would think to forreners moving in, well maybe if they were white they wouldn't mind so much, but I am not convinced that that would make much difference.

[cooperlola]

Well, I'm still not sure if any newbie reading this would decide whether to introduce themselves to their mayor or not!

It's certainly true, Chance, that when we moved over also it was the given wisdom (who gave it I don't know - books, TV progs, other Brits already here, fora?) that one should say hello to one's mayor although I was a bit unsure about this myself.  As a result I wrote her a brief letter introducing ourselves and saying that "hopefully one day we would meet face to face."  A couple of days later her secretary phoned me and asked if I could come along to the mairie.  I did so, we spent ten minutes or so chatting - she extolled the virtues of the butcher and the baker and explained the various activities in the village, gave me a map of the local bridlepaths and explained about the rights of way for riders and my rights as one, gave me a dechetterie card, appologised for the fact that she didn't speak English (sic), and then I went on my way.

We have a new mayor now whom I know because his wife is a friend of mine and a fellow randonneur, and their daughter is married to an Englishman so they like to practice their language skills on me.  Once when they were dining with us I invited another English couple along who, it so happens, have a gite.  The mayor was totally unaware (as had been his predecessor) of the existance of the gite (one of only two in the village) and was astonished - not to say a little put out -that they hadn't been to the mairie since their arrival eight years ago, as he felt it was a wasted mutual opportunity for both the gite owners and the village, that it was not better publicised that this facility existed.

Ultimately, I think you have to do what you feel comfortable with and certainly, in towns and larger villages one might be less inclined to waste any offficial's time on mere politeness, but I very much doubt if any mayor would be insulted or offended by a request for a meeting - at the very worst they'll just write it off as some bizarre British eccentricity - it's hardly an unpleasant thing for somebody to do is it?

[Chancer]

My current Maire either refuses to speak to me directly or is frightened to do so, he addresses all his comments through his secretary even though I am standing there and telling him that he can speak to me directly and that I do understand, in French of course.

I takes all sorts I suppose and I get on well with the adjoint and all the secretaries, perhaps he is taking no chances knowing my legacy of me wanting to introduce myself (in)to his predecessor [:)]

I wonder what would happen if another foreigner were to move to my village and request a meeting?

[Albert the InfoGipsy]

[quote user="crossy67"]Prehaps your experiences of the local officials would have been different had you had the courtesy to introduce your self lol [:)].  I have always thought it was the done thing to do, way before I even considered France as a home or even a place to visit on holiday.
[/quote]

Are you saying that if you moved to a new town in the UK you would expect to go and introduce yourself to 'the local officials'?  Quite honestly I wouldn't even know who to ask for in Glasgow, Westminster, Cheltenham, Chelmsford, Fulham & Hammersmith, Southwark, Merton or Medway, to name some of the places where I've lived over the years. I used to know a town councillor when I lived in Tewkesbury, and he never mentioned anything about visiting the local big chief.

[crossy67]

Get your point but that is the UK where we don't even say hello to our neighbours.  France is totally different, we are greeted by almost every one walking towards us on the street, even adolescent teenagers, it seems to me (maybe totally naively) that France is much more sociable and the introduction or presentation of your self to the head of the local community would be a courteous thing to do and it cost's nothing.  I am not going to pucker up and ask him to bend over but I want to get off on the right foot. 

[Panda]

[quote user="crossy67"]Get your point but that is the UK where we don't even say hello to our neighbours.  France is totally different, we are greeted by almost every one walking towards us on the street, even adolescent teenagers, it seems to me (maybe totally naively) that France is much more sociable and the introduction or presentation of your self to the head of the local community would be a courteous thing to do and it cost's nothing.  I am not going to pucker up and ask him to bend over but I want to get off on the right foot. 
[/quote]

It's quite ironic Crossy that you have chosen to live near to Aubeterre since the area is overrun with Brits! 

Hopefully they will not all be like the miserable ones you are leaving behind in the UK, theey're not all like that honest!  Try shopping in the nearest big store and NOT be surrounded by Brits, the area is a true Brit enclave, one nearby village has 16 Brit owned houses in a commune of around 25 houses.

[ericd]

[quote user="Panda"]

It's quite ironic Crossy that you have chosen to live near to Aubeterre since the area is overrun with Brits!  Hopefully they will not all be like the miserable ones you are leaving behind in the UK, theey're not all like that honest!  Try shopping in the nearest big store and NOT be surrounded by Brits, the area is a true Brit enclave, one nearby village has 16 Brit owned houses in a commune of around 25 houses.

[/quote]

 

Which Aubeterre is that ???? There are at least 5 in France  Aube, Nievre, Allier, Charente and Creuse........[Www]

[crossy67]

Aubeterre-Sur-Dronne.  There does seem to be a lot of Birts in all the areas we have been to, when we where last there about 4 weeks ago I couldn't believe the number of British reg numbers.  Apparently the population drops to about 350 in the winter, could be interesting! 

I just don't understand the attitude of some who would rather start their life in a new part of the world with an antisocial attitude, if you start that way how are things ever going to change or be better than you left behind. 

I would rather appear naive than cynical .

[YCCMB]

Ah, but crossy, you assume that everyone wants to move to France for something "better", and that "France" is represented by what you've encountered in Bled/s/Oued.

For one thing, I don't expect my life to miraculously transform when I'm in France, mainly because I'm as happy there as I am in the UK (which is perfectly happy). I'm not hoping for something special to happen to me just because I've gone to France, and furthermore, it doesn't. I have a fine time there, I'm told I fit right in, but I don't change the way I behave (which I don't particularly think is badly). I don't, and never have had an "antisocial attitude" , nor do I think that not introducing myself to the Maire has made my French life less rich than it otherwise would have been.

Try popping into a shop in Paris, Bordeaux or Lille and saying hello to everyone, or indeed try walking down the street in any of those places and count how many people pass you in the street and say hello. If you're lucky, there might be a couple of winos who'll say bonjour, just before they ask you for the price of a cuppa.

When I walk down the street here in the UK in my own village (pop.5000 - 16 miles from Central London) I'm just as likely to greet and be greeted by most of the people I pass as I am in France. However, if I go to either of my nearest towns and pull the same stunt, I'd probably be rounded up and put in a home for the bewildered.

[Pommier]

I think the friendly/unfriendly natives thing comes about because more people in the UK live in large towns or cities, where you can't possibly know everyone in your area and people are often moving on.

In France the majority of British people buy houses in rural areas or small towns where neighbours and passers by are more likely to stop and chat.

When we visit the UK we're generally surprised by how happy and chatty supermarket cashiers are compared to the (mostly) miserable ones in France.

[Chancer]

My ex came from a village outside of Lille and whilst its true that the Ch'tis are really warm and friendly, certainly her family and everyone I met around them were, she remarked how cold people were in Lille when she lodged their for university, and this coming from probably the most froide female I have yet to meet (not her fault though) so yes there is a great difference between the conurbations, banlieus and the countryside.

I live in a medium sized village opposite a factory with 1500 + employees, many pass me several times a day as I am often working on or outside of the building, I can honestly say that in nearly 6 years apart from the customary bonjour and the occasional passing comment on my work only one person has ever stopped to talk to me, I now know him well and know of his lifelong liking for all things English and realise that he actually sought me out as he is not a passer by but someone long retired from the factory.

I have lived here now for a quarter of the time that I have lived in my village in the UK, actually a third as I cant be in both places at the same time and whilst I know probably 100's of people there and have many many friends I have but one friend in my village here.

There is a big difference in the way that in my village in the UK everybody has open front gardens and at the very least chats with and knows their neighbours quite well, here most houses have hig occultant fences or hedges and gates with solid infill panels permanantly closed. Those that front directly onto the street like me keep their shutters permanantly closed and unless a neighbout happens to be family they are more often than not treated as the enemy.

[ericd]

[quote user="crossy67"]Aubeterre-Sur-Dronne.  [/quote]

 

.......There are two Aubeterre-sur-Dronne ....Creuse and Charente, both cannot be a majority of Brits ???

[Nearly Retired (I am now)]

Well, well, well.....although we were delighted with our first meeting with the mayor, since now reading all the comments above, we certainly didn't realise at the time just how very, very unusual our own case was and so remains. Some 6 years ago when we were buying our house we asked the immobillier questions about any planned village expansions, by-passes, factories, motorways and the like. We then wondered about the possibility of flooding. Without an apparent thought the agent contacted the mayor, a farmer in the commune, who especially opened up the office in the middle of August to personally answer all our concerns. We spent maybe an hour in his office. Later when we applied for permissions to have some roof alterations and needed accompanying photos he took his own photos of the house for us because my own camera had failed. Whenever we pop into the office we see British calendars on the wall – presumably given by other home owners. It’s lovely.

It’s village size that counts.

[NormanH]

[quote user="Nearly Retired"]Well, well, well.....although we were delighted with our first meeting with the mayor, since now reading all the comments above, we certainly didn't realise at the time just how very, very unusual our own case was and so remains. Some 6 years ago when we were buying our house we asked the immobillier questions about any planned village expansions, by-passes, factories, motorways and the like. We then wondered about the possibility of flooding. Without an apparent thought the agent contacted the mayor, a farmer in the commune, who especially opened up the office in the middle of August to personally answer all our concerns. We spent maybe an hour in his office. Later when we applied for permissions to have some roof alterations and needed accompanying photos he took his own photos of the house for us because my own camera had failed. Whenever we pop into the office we see British calendars on the wall – presumably given by other home owners. It’s lovely.

It’s village size that counts.[/quote]

Most people in France don't live in villages, they live in towns or cities.

[LEO]

[quote user="Nearly Retired"]Well, well, well.....although we were delighted with our first meeting with the mayor, since now reading all the comments above, we certainly didn't realise at the time just how very, very unusual our own case was and so remains. Some 6 years ago when we were buying our house we asked the immobillier questions about any planned village expansions, by-passes, factories, motorways and the like. We then wondered about the possibility of flooding. Without an apparent thought the agent contacted the mayor, a farmer in the commune, who especially opened up the office in the middle of August to personally answer all our concerns. We spent maybe an hour in his office. Later when we applied for permissions to have some roof alterations and needed accompanying photos he took his own photos of the house for us because my own camera had failed. Whenever we pop into the office we see British calendars on the wall – presumably given by other home owners. It’s lovely.

It’s village size that counts.[/quote]

Hi ,I don't know what your name is as , you don't say

What was unusual about your case?

Kind regards,

Leo

[crossy67]

[quote user="ericd"]

[quote user="crossy67"]Aubeterre-Sur-Dronne.  [/quote]

 

.......There are two Aubeterre-sur-Dronne ....Creuse and Charente, both cannot be a majority of Brits ???

[/quote]

Sud Charente, sorry.