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cajal

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Posts posted by cajal

    joke-of-the-week

    in The Lighter Side

    Posted

    Here's one for all you married women.

    A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there? The father, surprised, answers.

    Well, son, a woman goes through three phases.

    In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm.

    In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.

    After 50, they are like onions.

    Onions? the son asks. Yes. You see them and they make you cry.

    This infuriated his wife and daughter.

    The daughter asks, Mum, how many different kinds of penises are there?

    The mother smiles and says.

    Well, dear,a man goes through three phases also.

    In his 20s, his penis is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.

    In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable.

    After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.

    A Christmas tree? the daughter asks.

    Yes,it appears once a year,it's dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.

    regards

    cajal

    joke-of-the-week

    in The Lighter Side

    Posted

    Here's one for all those with friends who live next-door.

    A guy sends a text to his neighbour:

    "Bob, I'm sorry. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess:

    I have been helping myself to your wife when you're not around, probably more than you.

    I know it's no excuse but I don't get it at home.

    I can't live with the guilt any longer.

    I hope you'll accept my sincerest apology.

    It won't happen again."

    Feeling outrage and betrayed, Bob grabs his gun, goes in search of his wife, and without a word, shoots her.

    Moments later the guy gets a second text:

    "Damned autocorrect! That should have read 'wifi'."

    regards

    cajal

    Renault......oops

    in The Complete France Post Bag

    Posted

    the latest.........

    Paris (AFP) - Renault diesel

    engines have been found to exceed emissions limits, French Environment

    Minister Segolene Royal said on Thursday, but added no cheating software

    had been found in the cars.

    Royal

    spoke after a commission she appointed submitted test results of French

    and foreign cars, which found carbon dioxide and nitrogen dioxide

    emissions in Renault cars to be too high, as were those of two

    non-French automakers.

    It would be interesting to compare the published emissions figures of vehicles on the forecourt against the test engine figures.

    regards

    cajal

    UK Observations

    in Other Topics

    Posted

    Is that good?  Is any of it necessary?

    ------------------------------------------------------------------

    I can shop for just about anything at 2am in the morning and will get

    Customer service from shelf stackers that they will never ever

    experience in France, that I can buy any DIY materials from 7am to 20.00

    not 9 till 12 then 2 till 6, that I can place a £10 order on Saturday

    or Sunday and it will be delivered FOC on Monday morning

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------

    You flick a switch at 2am and expect a light to come on.

    You turn on a tap at 2am and expect water to come out.

    You put a filling station nozzle in your vehicle at 2am and expect fuel to flow.

    You push a supermarket door at 2am????

    It's not unreasonable to expect the store to be open.

    It is, after all, 2016.

    regards

    cajal

    joke-of-the-week

    in The Lighter Side

    Posted

    Here's one for me as it reminds me of the French way.

    A party official visits the farmer in his simple living quarters and proclaims

    "Comrade,

    for your hard work and absolute dedication to the great leader and the

    Democratic People's Republic, over 50 years, we would like to reward you

    with a car"

    The humble farmer nods silently to show his appreciation, the party official continues;

    "As

    you know, North Korean industry is the the most powerful and efficient

    in the world, and as such we will have your car delivered to you in

    exactly 8 years"

    The humble farmer then signals to the official

    to wait, and he crosses the room to check his calendar. After flipping

    through for some time he finally says;

    "Morning or afternoon?"

    The

    party official is rather offended, and remarks "Comrade, you are being

    given a car! And that privilege aside, delivery is 8 years away, what

    does it matter if its morning or afternoon?"

    To which the farmer responds "Well, the plumber is coming in the morning..."

    and

    whils't the rest of the world says....did they?....didn't they?

    Here's  another explosive one for you.

    I called my friend in North Korea and asked him how he was.

    He said he couldn't complain.

    regards

    cajal

    joke-of-the-week

    in The Lighter Side

    Posted

    Here's one for all those conned into spending too much at Chrismas.

    A Scouse friend of mine told me he got his three kids a trampoline and bikes for Christmas, off the internet.

    I asked him which website he'd used.

    "Google Earth." he said.

    regards

    cajal

    joke-of-the-week

    in The Lighter Side

    Posted

    Here's one for all those suckered into purchasing a French car.

    Following the Volkswagen scandal, motoring organisations all over the world are demanding another investigation...

    Into software installed by Renault/Peugeot/Citroen..... etc to prevent indicators working.

    regards

    cajal

    joke-of-the-week

    in The Lighter Side

    Posted

    Here's one for all those left leaning pinko-liberal socialists..........suck it up.

    A HEART WARMING STORY…….. Because of his stupidity and clumsiness, his teacher, was always yelling at him, "You're driving me crazy, Tyrone!"

    One day, Tyrone's Mother came to school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his Mother honestly, that her son was simply a disaster, getting very low marks, and that she had never seen such a stupid boy in her entire teaching career.

    The Mother was so shocked at the feedback that she withdrew her son from school and moved out of London, and relocated to Birmingham.

    Twenty-five years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an almost incurable cardiac disease. All the doctors strongly advised her to have open heart surgery, but there was only one surgeon in Britain who could perform the operation and he was located at the Birmingham Clinic. Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was successful.

    When she came round after surgery she saw a handsome young doctor smiling down at her. She wanted to thank him, but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him something but quickly died. The doctor was shocked, wondering what could possibly have gone wrong so suddenly. Then he turned around and saw our friend Tyrone, a janitor in the Clinic, who had unplugged the life-support equipment in order to connect his vacuum cleaner.

    If you thought for one moment that Tyrone had become a heart-surgeon there is a high likelihood that you voted for Jeremy Corbyn last September.

    regards

    cajal

    Using UK cards via Paypal for Ebay purchases from France

    in French Finance

    Posted

    nomoss wrote

    Today the card was refused and "This card may not be used for this purchase" was displayed.

    This might be a longshot if you attempted to make your purchase with a Nationwide cc.  Mrs c has just informed me that she was unable to access her cc account at Nationwide yesterday due to a technical fault which has now been sorted. Just a thought.

    regards

    cajal

    Using UK cards via Paypal for Ebay purchases from France

    in French Finance

    Posted

    I have neither bought or been able to buy anything where PayPal is involved, with my Uk cc from France, for about 12 months.

    I have 2 UK cards and both are registered to a French address and like yourself I've tried both PP.FR and PP.UK and dipped out on both sites.

    I put this situation down to a dislike, by PP, of a French registered UK cc being used in a non UK country to make a purchase from the UK. (If you can get your head around that!). As ebay own PayPal there is also no way to hoodwink them as their systems will be integrated.

    I don't possess any French bank cards.  Until my bank start to issue me one with nil annual charge or I am unable to use a UK cc I wont be purchasing anything requiring payment via PayPal.

    What happened to 'freedom of movement of goods and services?

    regards

    cajal

    Terrorists 1- Goodguys 0

    in Other Topics

    Posted

    If the shows are stopped the terrorists have won.

    If they go

    ahead and give them a chance to strike then they have won again, BUT

    they will probably have killed a boat load of innocent people?

    And therein lies the rub. Where will these kind of event cancellations stop because....see above statement.

    regards

    cajal

    Here are two I made earlier.

    in Working with Wood

    Posted

    Thanks for your responses..much

    appreciated.

    Lehaut

    What is the wood?

    Douglas Pine. Not

    my first choice, that would have been

    oak. Because

    oak is     twice

    the weight of Douglas pine and in view of my age I figured it would

    be impractical for me to handle and attempt to fit something that

    size and weight on my own. I also underwent some surgery last year and

    didn’t relish the idea of possibly pinging out any breastbone

    staples.

    All their wood is ‘air’ dried

    and has never been anywhere near a kiln.

    Chancer

    I hope that there will be no shrinkage, cracking or racking.

    The first summer we lived here I

    put a thermometer on the front of the house in the direct sunlight

    (south facing). The thermometer is calibrated to 55

    ºC and

    the mercury rose off the scale. So will it shrink etc? You bet it

    will. Bearing this in mind, I double dowelled each mortice &

    tenon joint and didn’t use any glue on the t & g panels. I

    allowed a 3mm gap all round these panels in the rebated frame which I

    ran a bead of silicone in to weatherproof, take up the slack and

    allow for expansion /contraction.

    John

    Ta also for the WIP.

    I hoped you’d all

    be able to share the pain with me.

    and apparently they aren't the most welcoming.

    These people

    couldn’t be more helpful. It’s run by a

    wheelchair bound guy and his daughter. They’ve always allowed us

    the run of the place to rummage around     and

    the workforce are always willing to proffer help and advice when

    requested.

    Its

    worth a trip to their scierie just

    to observe all the machinery in full

    operation.

    regards

    cajal

    Here are two I made earlier.

    in Working with Wood

    Posted

    We

    extended this house during 2009/10 & 11.  This year I

    thought I had better do something about acquiring some doors for the

    new abri.  I know............I'll make them myself.

    We

    have an Exploitation Forestière Scierie near to us so I purchased a

    slice of tree trunk 6m x 0.48m x 0.068m (it still had the bark on

    either edge) and set about making a frame and 2 doors.

    This

    is the first time I have attempted anything this ambitious with

    wood.  Overall it has saved me paying someone a shed load of

    money ( the outlay on materials for me was approx €200). It has kept me

    occupied since September and finished off the front of the house. 

    So here are some photos, mrs c took, I would like to share with

    anyone who is interested. 

    1)

    The rebated frame with hinge rebates cut.

    [URL=http://s1379.photobucket.com/user/cajal/media/56a492f0-60f7-4785-9f0a-c896e8cc33c2_zps7zzyoj93.jpg.html][IMG]http://i1379.photobucket.com/albums/ah154/cajal/56a492f0-60f7-4785-9f0a-c896e8cc33c2_zps7zzyoj93.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

    2)

    You can never have too many clamps. Mortice & tenons now glued up

    and masking tape removed from all the joints. I used polyurethane

    glue so I taped all the joints all round to protect the wood from the

    glue when it foams. To cut down on the amount of foaming and decrease

    the set time I lightly dampened the mortice & tenons prior to

    applying the glue.(It does work.)

    The top row of clamps was for

    glueing a length of timber screwed into a rebate on the leading edge

    of the narrow door to fit a rebate I machined on the leading edge of

    the wide door.

    [URL=http://s1379.photobucket.com/user/cajal/media/7dd4f69f-8940-499b-8013-f9ec0ddaedc7_zpstufhl3fa.jpg.html][IMG]http://i1379.photobucket.com/albums/ah154/cajal/7dd4f69f-8940-499b-8013-f9ec0ddaedc7_zpstufhl3fa.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

    3)

    1st door with t&g lower panel insert. I made 7 x 2m lengths of

    t&g for both lower door panels with a dedicated t&g router

    cutting set from     here

    [URL=http://s1379.photobucket.com/user/cajal/media/a0fd6869-2ec8-430a-b089-a6a342600612_zpsfsyj6lob.jpg.html][IMG]http://i1379.photobucket.com/albums/ah154/cajal/a0fd6869-2ec8-430a-b089-a6a342600612_zpsfsyj6lob.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

    4)

    2nd door with t&g lower panel insert fitted.

    [URL=http://s1379.photobucket.com/user/cajal/media/c388ebf9-6a9f-4768-856b-6ade7a0300c2_zpsxc0sufui.jpg.html][IMG]http://i1379.photobucket.com/albums/ah154/cajal/c388ebf9-6a9f-4768-856b-6ade7a0300c2_zpsxc0sufui.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

    5)

    I didn't use French hinges as I could not find any of quality that

    were substantial enough. But I did     here

    [URL=http://s1379.photobucket.com/user/cajal/media/aed1ea25-e133-4187-b6a9-ab18f86a5327_zpsnqpna3f2.jpg.html][IMG]http://i1379.photobucket.com/albums/ah154/cajal/aed1ea25-e133-4187-b6a9-ab18f86a5327_zpsnqpna3f2.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

    6)

    Routing the ogee pattern on all external face rebate edges.

    [URL=http://s1379.photobucket.com/user/cajal/media/ca3012bd-eaa5-4c2c-80c8-54a9e3d1e44e_zpsng5laeqw.jpg.html][IMG]http://i1379.photobucket.com/albums/ah154/cajal/ca3012bd-eaa5-4c2c-80c8-54a9e3d1e44e_zpsng5laeqw.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

    7)

    Sample

    of routed glazing and t&g securing beads.

    [URL=http://s1379.photobucket.com/user/cajal/media/43ddd645-8cd7-4685-adb8-98c1cc629111_zpsdszrci6y.jpg.html][IMG]http://i1379.photobucket.com/albums/ah154/cajal/43ddd645-8cd7-4685-adb8-98c1cc629111_zpsdszrci6y.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

    8)

    Nearly ready for a trial fitting in situ.

    [URL=http://s1379.photobucket.com/user/cajal/media/1ad2ee71-ed49-4027-ba18-e44fe3097fcf_zpstzbsxxl1.jpg.html][IMG]http://i1379.photobucket.com/albums/ah154/cajal/1ad2ee71-ed49-4027-ba18-e44fe3097fcf_zpstzbsxxl1.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

    9)

    Frame fitted and doors trial fit.

    [URL=http://s1379.photobucket.com/user/cajal/media/aa81d2f3-a091-4b7c-90fb-68d81b1cfa75_zpst8l86bkx.jpg.html][IMG]http://i1379.photobucket.com/albums/ah154/cajal/aa81d2f3-a091-4b7c-90fb-68d81b1cfa75_zpst8l86bkx.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

    10)

    Fitted with 2 coats of chêne clair lasure already applied and

    awaiting 2 more coats of chêne clair and one of incolore.  Door

    furniture and glass to be fitted.

    [URL=http://s1379.photobucket.com/user/cajal/media/d239a3f6-49c0-40ec-9d3a-8b091de13025_zpsx47pad02.jpg.html][IMG]http://i1379.photobucket.com/albums/ah154/cajal/d239a3f6-49c0-40ec-9d3a-8b091de13025_zpsx47pad02.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

    11)....et

    voila, enfin terminé.

    [URL=http://s1379.photobucket.com/user/cajal/media/537ad4ad-d88c-4f04-be65-ad1d3bf4b1e1_zpszgheodso.jpg.html][IMG]http://i1379.photobucket.com/albums/ah154/cajal/537ad4ad-d88c-4f04-be65-ad1d3bf4b1e1_zpszgheodso.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

    For

    safety reasons I fitted verre feuilleté which is basically 2 pieces

    of glass with a layer of plastic sandwiched between them. I didn't

    use putty or silicone for the glazing but     this.

    I

    fitted it to the glazing rebates and the interior glazing beads and

    used csk.screws to secure the glazing beads to the internal rebates.

    I

    used vis penture (    they

    appear brown in the photo but are infact black    )

    to replicate the clos anciens on the rails and stiles.

    Overall

    I’m glad I undertook the project. Now I have to decide whether to

    commit to the 2x2 double garage doors required at the other end of the

    abri. Watch this space.

    regards

    cajal

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