The Brexit Golf Club

[Gardian]

Mr David Davis is at the golf club returning his locker key when Mr Barnier, the membership secretary sees him.

"Hello Mr Davis", says Mr Barnier. "I'm sorry to hear you are no longer renewing your club membership, if you would like to come to my office, we can settle your account".

"I have settled my bar bill" says Mr Davis.

"Ah yes Mr Davis", says Mr Barnier, "but there are other matters that need settlement".

In Mr Barnier’s office, Mr Davis explains that he has settled his bar bill so wonders what else he can possibly owe the Golf Club? "Well Mr Davis" begins Mr Barnier, "you did agree to buy one of our Club Jackets".

"Yes" agrees Mr Davis "I did agree to buy a jacket but I haven't received it yet". "As soon as you supply the jacket I will send you a cheque for the full amount".

"That will not be possible" explains Mr Barnier. "As you are no longer a club member you will not be entitled to buy one of our jackets"!

"But you still want me to pay for it" exclaims Mr Davis.

"Yes" says Mr Barnier, "That will be £500 for the jacket. "There is also your bar bill".

"But I've already settled my bar bill" says Mr Davis. "Yes" says Mr Barnier, "but as you can appreciate, we need to place our orders from the Brewery in advance to ensure our bar is properly stocked". "You regularly used to spend at least £50 a week in the bar so we have placed orders with the brewery accordingly for the coming year". "You therefore owe us £2600 for the year".

"Will you still allow me to have these drinks?" asks Mr Davis. "No of course not Mr Davis". "You are no longer a club member!" says Mr Barnier. "Next is your restaurant bill" continues Mr Barnier. "In the same manner we have to make arrangements in advance with our catering suppliers". "Your average restaurant bill was in the order of £300 a month, so we'll require payment of £3600 for the next year".

"I don't suppose you'll be letting me have these meals either" asks Mr Davis.

"No, of course not" says an irritated Mr Barnier, "you are no longer a club member!"

"Then of course" Mr Barnier continues, "there are repairs to the clubhouse roof".

"Clubhouse roof" exclaims Mr Davis, "What's that got to do with me?"

"Well it still needs to be repaired and the builders are coming in next week", your share of the bill is £2000".

"I see" says Mr Davis, "anything else?".

"Now you mention it" says Mr Barnier, "there is Fred the Barman's pension". "We would like you to pay £5 a week towards Fred's pension when he retires next month". "He's not well you know so I doubt we'll need to ask you for payment for longer than about five years, so £1300 should do it". "This brings your total bill to £10,000" says Mr Barnier. "Let me get this straight" says Mr Davis, "you want me to pay £500 for a jacket you won't let me have, £2600 for beverages you won't let me drink and £3600 for food you won't let me eat, all under a roof I won't be allowed under and not served by a bloke who's going to retire next month!"

"Yes, it's all perfectly clear and quite reasonable" says Mr Barnier.

"Pith off!" says Mr Davis

Now we understand what Brexit is all about!!!!!

[NickP]

I thought it was amusing Gardian, But I would imagine the remain club won't appreciate it.

[BritinBretagne]

It shows how out of touch with the facts some people are.

[Gardian]

Well Nick, I’m an unashamed ‘remainer’, but I thought that it was fairly amusing too.

Just about sums up the negotiating pickle that the UK has got itself in to.

Anyway ....... it was never the intention to start another bloody Brexit debate on here.

[mint]

Try getting out of your tenancy agreement, your mutuelle contract or even your internet provider mandat without paying and see if there are "consequences"[:D]

[NickP]

BritinBretagne wrote:

It shows how out of touch with the facts some people are.

Anyone we know, come on name names, don't be shy. LOL

[BritinBretagne]

Well I will start with the person who first wrote the ‘joke’ before it was copied and pasted across the Internet.

Come to think about it, the golf club scenario is one that might be understood by many Europeans, especially Germans. I used to live near a golf club where the non refundable joining fee was €30,000 before the annual membership and green fees came into that play. It would appear to me the Mr Davis has joined a club like that and is keen to leave after the first few months. The club has told him that, yes, he is free to leave but neither the joining fee nor the unused part of his year’s membership fee can be refunded. When he joined the club he accepted the rules and the costs involved and he now needs to stick by those responsibilities even though he won’t be getting the full benefit of membership.

[NickP]

Any more info BiB or is that your best shot? Don't worry about the majority who voted for it. Davis and co are trying to get the best deal they can, why not? Still, it proves that one or two have very little room for humour in their lives. Lighten up life's too short to be constantly gloomy. I must go as there are fish in the river at the end of my garden waiting for me to catch them, they love my bait. They'll miss me when I get deported and have my holiday home confiscated by Brussels. after 2019. LOL

[BritinBretagne]

Gloomy? What do you mean? All I’ve done is pointed out that the funny story has nothing to do with the facts concerning Britain leaving the EU. To try to use it as a metaphor to explain the real life problem falls a long way short. If you are really worried about being deported it’s you that needs to lighten up and, yet again, look at the facts.

[NickP]

I'll give you a clue BiB the storey was a joke to make people smile, so treat it as such. Seems you are incapable of seeing it as it was meant, and jumped straight on your soapbox. That's all, as I have to gut and fillet the poissons, LOL LOL

[alittlebitfrench]

Can I just point out that unemployment in the UK has fallen once again to a 44 year low to 1.5 million.

Meanwhile in France, unemployment is about 10 million (there or there about) and people are demonstrating today (as usual) against reforms. Well riots in Nantes. When did people last riot in the UK ?

Just saying.

I just might vote Brexit now given the chance. The EU is doomed to be fair.

[BritinBretagne]

[quote user="NickP"]I'll give you a clue BiB the storey was a joke to make people smile, so treat it as such. Seems you are incapable of seeing it as it was meant, and jumped straight on your soapbox. That's all, as I have to gut and fillet the poissons, LOL LOL[/quote]

But why should such an uninformed story make anyone smile? I suppose you like those Facebook posts that show overcrowded Indian trains with captions about immigrant’s relatives getting their Eurotunnel tickets before March 2019 as well.

[BritinBretagne]

[quote user="alittlebitfrench"]Can I just point out that unemployment in the UK has fallen once again to a 44 year low to 1.5 million.

Meanwhile in France, unemployment is about 10 million (there or there about) and people are demonstrating today (as usual) against reforms. Well riots in Nantes. When did people last riot in the UK ?

Just saying.

I just might vote Brexit now given the chance. The EU is doomed to be fair.[/quote]

I don’t understand your logic. The British Government has targeted reducing unemployment and the figures (if not the Treasury receipts) are pleasing. However they have achieved this positions as members of the EU. Your post suggests that they have left already.

[mint]

[quote user="BritinBretagne"][quote user="NickP"]I'll give you a clue BiB the storey was a joke to make people smile, so treat it as such. Seems you are incapable of seeing it as it was meant, and jumped straight on your soapbox. That's all, as I have to gut and fillet the poissons, LOL LOL[/quote]

But why should such an uninformed story make anyone smile? I suppose you like those Facebook posts that show overcrowded Indian trains with captions about immigrant’s relatives getting their Eurotunnel tickets before March 2019 as well.[/quote]

BinB, it didn't make me smile either.  Not because I remain a remainer[:)] but because it wasn't funny

[EuroTrash]

Providing enough crap jobs and zero hours contracts to go round ain't difficult.

The hard thing is finding the right compromise between a good deal for employees, a good deal for employers and a good deal for the state coffers. At least France is still trying. The UK gave up protecting workers rights long since.

[mint]

ET, my thoughts as well.  Also French workers do not appear to be so against reform these days?

[EuroTrash]

Yes Mint, it looks like the reforms will go through with no major opposition. Which actually I think is good because the bias in France was, IMHO, too far towards workers rights. But, just as long as it isn't the thin end of the wedge that will lead to the balance being tipped in the other direction.

[alittlebitfrench]

[quote user="EuroTrash"]Providing enough crap jobs and zero hours contracts to go round ain't difficult.

The hard thing is finding the right compromise between a good deal for employees, a good deal for employers and a good deal for the state coffers. At least France is still trying. The UK gave up protecting workers rights long since.[/quote]

Given the amount of work related suicides in France I am not so sure ET that workers rights are as protected as you think.

Also of course, work is work. I think I would rather have a zero hour crap job and be able to feed my family than spending the day on the metro or on a train begging for money. Or banging on peoples doors looking for work or selling calendars for a resto ticket..

[BritinBretagne]

Many people would agree but it doesn’t alter the fact that government policies regarding helping the self employed and those which allow employers to exploit their workforce through zero hours contracts have nothing to do with the EU or Brexit. If anything it highlights the diversity allowed under EU rules and regulations, governments already have control so there’s no need to take it back.

[EuroTrash]

Can you explain to me how working zero hours on a zero hours contract is better for the worker or for the state, than working zero hours because you are unemployed. This is a genuine question because I don't know how the benefits compare - is it easier to claim, do you get more benefits or quicker benefits if you have a job contract but no work, than if you have no job at all?

AFAIK there are no official figures for work related suicides in the UK so it's hard to compare. My boss killed himself in approx 1995 because he couldn't face telling some his staff he was going to have to make them redundant (ha ha, so he left all of us without a job overnight). AFAIK he wasn't recorded as a statistic anywhere.