PossumGirl Posted October 9, 2006 Share Posted October 9, 2006 DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had togo to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key underthe mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check.""Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog Spike. He won't bother you. But,whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "IREPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, hediscovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, justas she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairmango about his work.The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessantyelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't containhimself any longer and yelled,"Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine Animal Posted October 9, 2006 Share Posted October 9, 2006 That reminds me of another old and well known sketch by... and I can't think of his name, maybe you can Missy... Le Plombier et le Perroquet :Une vieille dame (Madame Mouchaboeuf) ayant perdu son époux, se retrouve plongée dans la tristesse et la solitude. Alors elle décide d’adopter un perroquet en guise de compagnon. Un jour, elle appelle le plombier pour réparer des fuites d’eau. Comme la dame a tendance à oublier tout ce qu’elle fait, elle part avant l’arrivée du plombier en laissant son perroquet. Le plombier frappe à la porte et une voix à l'intérieur lui demande : "C'est qui ?" "C’est le plombier." dit l’autre. "C’est quiiiiiiiiii ?" C'est le plombiééé "C’est qui ?" "Mais madame, vous venez de m’appeler pour réparer votre lavabo !" "C’est quiiiiiiiiii ? "Mais le plombier, je vous dis !" "C’est qui ?" "C’est le plombier !" "C’est qui ?" Madame, c’est le plombier !!!" "C’est qui ?" -... Après une bonne demi-heure, le plombier n’en peut plus et s’évanouit. Peu après, la vieille dame rentrant chez elle, trouve le corps du plombier sur le sol et s’exclame : "C’est qui ?" Alors une voix à l'intérieur répond : "C’est le plombier !!" An elderly lady who had lost her husband adopted a parrot for company. She was depressed and absent minded and went out completely forgetting she had asked the plumber to come round. The plumber knocked on the door and the parrot, imitating his mistress, shouted "Who's that?", the plumber replied, "It's the plumber", the parrot "Who's that?", the plumber "It's the plumber, Madame, you called me to repair your washbasin". The parrot "Who's that?", to cut a long story short, about half an hour later the exhausted plumber fainted.The old lady finally came back to find a man lying in front of her door and exclaimed "Who's that?!" and the parrot shouted from inside "It's the plumber!" I've just remembered, it was Fernand Reynaud [:D] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PossumGirl Posted October 9, 2006 Author Share Posted October 9, 2006 Very good, Christine!PG (who actually IS waiting for le Plombier!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spongebob Posted October 9, 2006 Share Posted October 9, 2006 A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.His English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:Have you any grounds? Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.No, I mean what is the foundation of this case? It made of Concrete.I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?No, we have carport, and not need one.I mean. What are your relations like? All my relations still in Poland.Is there any infidelity in your marriage? We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.Does your wife beat you up? No, I always up before her.Is your wife a nagger? No, she white.(Sorry about the racism)Why do you want this divorce? She going to kill me.What makes you think that? I got proof.What kind of proof? She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at Drugstoreand put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say: "Polish Remover"Spongebob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PossumGirl Posted October 9, 2006 Author Share Posted October 9, 2006 That is so bad I may be groaning all day!!!! Are you sure you haven't been channeling my grandfather, Sponge?PG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spongebob Posted October 9, 2006 Share Posted October 9, 2006 [quote user="PossumGirl"]That is so bad I may be groaning all day!!!! Are you sure you haven't been channeling my grandfather, Sponge?PG[/quote]Is it SO old? I got it from another forum........Spongebob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine Animal Posted October 9, 2006 Share Posted October 9, 2006 It must be as old as Fernand Renaud [:D] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spongebob Posted October 9, 2006 Share Posted October 9, 2006 [quote user="Christine Animal"]It must be as old as Fernand Renaud [:D] [/quote]Who?SB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine Animal Posted October 9, 2006 Share Posted October 9, 2006 Didn't you follow the thread, see above "Le Plombier et le Perroquet"... [geek] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spongebob Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 Ah yes, I see..........must stop trying to understand stuff after Pastis followed by 1664.Spongebob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine Animal Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 [:P] [:D] [:P] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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