Dave Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 A blind guy goes into a pub and steps up to the bar; heorders a drink then says, “does anyone here want hear a blonde joke?”From behind the bar a female voice informs him “mister, theperson sitting to your right is blonde and is the World Women’s Champion atJudo and weighs in at 18 stone and the person sitting to your left is alsoblonde and is the World Women’s Full Contact Karate Champion, behind you are ‘TheBlond Bombers’ they are the national Tag Wrestling team champions for 3 yearsin a row with a combined weight of 40 stone, I am also blonde and I am also theWomen’s National Heavyweight Boxing Champion…now ask yourself, do you reallywant to tell a blonde joke?” The man thinks for amoment and then says “ nah…not if I’ve got to explain it 5 times……..”[:D][;-)]"to all those that I have offended may I just say [:P]"best regardsDagoPeace & LoveDo you think I put in enough smilies? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali-cat Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. “Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.” The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more pain. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream. The doctor said, “You’re not really a redhead, are you? “Well, no” she said, “I’m actually a blonde.” “I thought so,” the doctor said. “Your finger is broken.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali-cat Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 And now one for the ladies!!! [:D] An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building." The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too." The blonde guy opened his lunch and said, "Bologna… again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too." The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well. At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!" The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much." Everyone turned and stared at the blonde guy's wife. The blonde's wife said, "Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted June 25, 2006 Author Share Posted June 25, 2006 brilliant Ali...what can I say...made me smile today[:D][:D] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TWINKLE Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 Question: How many t's are there in Indiana Jones?Redhead "None"Brunette "None"Blonde "Umm...4.....8....umm...16...32!""How on earth did you come to that conclusion?"Blonde "Ta ta ta taaa ta ta taaa, ta ta ta taaa ta ta ta ta taaa, ta ta ta taaa, ta ta taaa ta ta taa ta ta taa ta ta taaa!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TWINKLE Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 The guys will find this funny!http://fr.youtube.com/watch?v=yuIZ0sin80c Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Katie Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 Seen it [6] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cooperlola2 Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 [quote user="ali-cat"]Everyone turned and stared at the blonde guy's wife. The blonde's wife said, "Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch." [/quote]I don't know whether he was blond, but I do recall a couple of colleagues who had had to meet a supplier on site. Lunchtime came, and the guy opened his lunchbox, only to say "Not spam again!" My colleagues offered the obvious solution - asking 'er indoors to vary the fare a bit. "Oh no," he said "I make them myself!" My colleagues were giggling about this all afternoon when they got back to the office! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
opas Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 What does a blone do at the Cinema? look for the telecomande! What do you call a blone with an apple on her head? An aple tart! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Théière Posted October 24, 2008 Share Posted October 24, 2008 If you look up whilst you are typing you will be able to spell blonde correctly, of course it will not help you with apple but you could ask a grown up.[:D] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonzjob Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 The Bet A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead £50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the £50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet."So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!" (I know that the smeling is correkt 'cause I never make mastikes...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonzjob Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 An anover won!Two blondes decided that this Christmas they wanted to cut down their own Christmas tree. So they drove two hours into the country and walked deep into the woods to find the perfect Christmas tree. They had planned the trip well, especially considering that they were blond. They were dressed warmly with boots, warm coats and hats. They had a chain saw, hatchet, a bag to protect the tree and rope to drag it back to their car. Every detail was covered. They searched and searched. They had gone to all this trouble, nothing but the prefect tree would do. They searched for hours through knee deep snow and biting wind. Finally, five hours later with the sun beginning to go down, one blonde says to the other, "I can't take this anymore. I give up! There are hundreds of beautiful trees out here. Let's just pick one whether it's decorated or not!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
opas Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 [quote user="teapot"]If you look up whilst you are typing you will be able to spell blonde correctly, of course it will not help you with apple but you could ask a grown up.[:D][/quote]Sticking keyboard .........no rude comments please! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonzjob Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 Use your hairspray on yer 'ead Opas??[Www][Www][:D] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TWINKLE Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 100 litres of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 10 litres. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, 'I found your note asking me to leave 100 litres of milk. Did you mean 10 litres?'The blonde said, 'I want 100 litres. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again.'The milkman asked, 'Do you want it pasteurised?'The blonde said, 'No, just up to my boobs. I can splash it on my face.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonzjob Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Groan Twinks!![+o(][blink] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krusty Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 and was that milkman "Ernie" ?She said she'd like to bathe in milk He said alright sweetheart And when he finished work one night He loaded up the cart He said you wanted pasturised Coz pasturised is best She says Ernie I'll be happy If it comes up to me chest And that tickled old Ernie (Ernie) And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TWINKLE Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 I know boys! I'm Soooo Benny Hill[:)] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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