Memories 2

[anotherbanana]

My path is a wide one, so it seems best to keep the texts separate. I hope this one makes you laugh a little on this dank day in a depressing time.

A little while ago, whilst cleaning up an old barn, I found a pile of 50 or so ladies magazines dating from 1903 to 1913, called La Femme Chez Elle. They contain, amongst other things, some delightful tips, such as How to Raise your Daughters, a small part of which have been translated and are presented for your and your daughters’ education and delectation!

 

La Coquetterie

Why does the word coquetterie scare timid spirits as if it were some fatal personality defect? Everyday, do we not see mothers of otherwise irreproachable reputation struggling to stamp out this pernicious defect in their daughters.

Let us reflect for a moment however. It may be good, once and for all, to examine this habit which some see as the crowning female grace and which other harshly condemn, as representing in their eyes the lies and perfidiousness of the weak sex.

If we understand coquetterie to be part of the wily armoury of cuteness, little deceits, ruses and boldness employed by a great number of women, then there can never be enough curses with which to flog it and no sufficient means to root it out of an education programme.

But if, on the contrary, we understand it to mean the elegant choice of dress, care of the person, the desire to please which is possessed by all women of delicacy and sensitivity, then we find ourselves having to recognize the utility of a legitimate seduction which we can reckon a permitted quality.

Certain women who lack even the most elementary coquetterie have inspired profound and lasting passion, though this does not mean that one should imitate them to achieve the same result; this peculiarity simply shows that in life luck and privileges are dealt out by chance and that one should not count on it because destiny is more miserly with her gifts than prodigal with benefits.

Let us look now at different instances where a woman has recourse to coquetterie to conserve her physical charms and maintain her beauty.

In the world, the refined care of 'Me' is part of the tyrannical obligations of an elitist society: noblesse oblige.

A question of pride controls the different parts of the lives of the rich; running a household involves hundreds of details which are managed by a strict code, deviation from which would shock accepted wisdom; toilette and dressing, the table, servants, receptions, all have their respective importance; no one who moves in high society can escape their demands. The women of society who pass their time taking care of themselves, embellishing themselves, trying to push back the ravages of age have few problems because they have the two great advantages of money and time on their hands;

The same cannot be said for the middle classes where women accumulate the multiple tasks of motherhood, household management, and managing the budget, all of which are strewn with difficulties when resources are modest and which need constant courage and permanent devotion and perseverance.

Which is why a woman of the petit bourgeoisie who cuts and sews her clothes and those of her children and makes their hats, and who manages her household with love and who knows how to stay, despite so many jobs, seductive and appealing, has a hundred times more merit than than the beautiful Madame whose greatest occupation consists in getting into her carriage and being driven to her stylist and her dressmaker.

If we look at random at many households, a similar spectacle is always to be seen. From sixteen years old, young girls become interested in coquetterie, and though the resources to achieve it are limited, such is their wish to please that they can always find modest baubles to enhance their young beauty and highlight their natural charms.

She marries young. And then with a young family, she is worn, faded and deprived as never before. The children absorb all the resources, money is so tight that there is just enough for food, if that! Where will she find the means to buy the frills which tempt her as she can barely find enough for her family? Before she can even think of cheap ribbons and lace there are the essential clothes which may even have to be bought on credit.

Poverty is hardly compatible with good dressing and toilette. If it were only such fripperies that she gave up it would be acceptable, but a woman who lives in perpetual discomfort sacrifices her own health, she gets worn, she neglects her hair, her teeth, her hands, her colouring, because dentists are expensive, and she has to put her family ahead of the other needs. The life of the simple wife is made up of sacrifices but when her husband is hard working and reasonable, the joys of the family compensate for the sacrifices but if she also has to fight laziness and drunkenness, what misery.

In the 'mixed' classes, coquetterie is part of feminine dignity; the companion of a teacher, a doctor, a civil servant must look after herself. If she allows herself to dress inappropriately, she will be harshly judged.

But the main reason for coquetterie in a woman is not fear of what others will say, nor the obligation to copy one's neighbour, but, above all, the desire to keep the affection of her husband until old age. Many women make the mistake of letting themselves go as soon as they are married and do not bother any more.

A husband must never think his wife inferior to that of a neighbour. There are some women who are consummate geniuses at discerning just what it is that will keep their husband interested in them and what will not because they have understood that for some men, the power of the loved one diminishes as the physical graces lessen. They know that it is not necessary to cover themselves with jewels and expensive clothes to keep their husband's eye. It is sufficient to keep changing toilette, not to allow personal negligence and to ensure absolute cleanliness.

But after all, what is this but true coquetterie which contains nothing reprehensible in essence and which all mothers should teach to their daughters.

[NormanH]

Is that a Google translate?

[anotherbanana]

Cant remember if it is mine or Google. Suspect mine as I tried to keep the original style a bit.

[Judith-aka-Judith]

I know those magazines are now quite dated, but it strikes me as somewhat condescending to women, even for those days. Interesting reading though!

[anotherbanana]

My daughters howled with laughter when they read them.

They were very much aimed at the snobbish middle classes, I suspect. Have some interesting sewing patterns in them though.

[Judith-aka-Judith]

That makes sense, Woolly ... I was of course, being polite last time .. and I reckon the author or the editor was definitely male!!