Moles

[Doodle]

Can anyone point me to a good website on information about moles.

a friend in the uk has had quite a few removed from his back, legs and lip which were not cancerous but has one left on his leg to be removed. He's been told that this mole is not a melanoma but that it's malignant. He has refused to have it removed until september as he says enough is enough at the moment and the doctor has said they will monitor it. I'm worried and have told him to get it sorted now but I think he's putting his head in the sand.

Any info regarding moles would be appreciated.

Thanks in advance, Chris

[Cat]

You could try googling "Basal cell carcinoma" or  "squamous cell carcinoma"

Or there is a good explanation here  Non Melanomatou Skin Cancer

 

[Pickles]

OK: if you want the scary stuff, here it is: a family member had a mole on the back of his leg. We noticed it in April, and suggested that he go and get it seen to immediately. He waited until September. He died 18 months later. Not a nice way to die at all. We are now experts in moles.

Regards

Pickles

[Gardengirl]

Some very good info there from Cat.

This place has a good reputation, and could be a useful second opinion for your friend: http://www.themoleclinic.co.uk/private_services.php

Moles can be checked, further steps taken if any are of concern and moles can be mapped for future changes. They are experts and although private, it doesn't cost fortune. Treatment doesn't have to be taken there.

Just read Pickles' post - truly awful!

[JSKS]

Ok, straight off the top of my head I can think of 5 or 6 malignancies that could present in a ''mole''. And I'm not a dermatologist. It may not be melanoma but equally is it squamous carcinoma, basal-cell carcinoma etc etc.

Anyone who chooses to leave any malignancy untreated until a later date has raised foolishness to a new level! Especially 6 months! You would really need the biopsy results and diagnosis before getting any sensible help on the 'net and even then I wouldn't trust my life to internet advice.

[Théière]

I think Cat's information is excellent and not alarmist. The patient has had them checked and many removed they want a break from surgery that's their call the mole isn't melanoma so the doctors would have advised what treatment was required and if it was a melanoma would have certainly tackled that one first.

[Charly]

How irresponsible and worrying for you as well.  Hopefully this person is elderly or quite depressed, otherwise cannot see why after having already had a course of treatment anyone would would want to now take the risk of falling at the final hurdle, so to speak. It's certainly not very clever behaviour. I expect that in the circumstances the Doctor has no option other than to agree to monitor it, but that's not to say that this is the best course of action -  6 months in that sort of medicine is a very long time. Why choose September, why not a year's time when the situation might be much more difficult, or more sensibly why not IMMEDIATELY ?  The removal of a mole is hardly time-consuming or even likely to much affect anyone's day- to- day life afterwards. If you are a really good friend, frogmarch him/her for the treatment explaining that you, at least, would like to be able to sleep nights for the foreseeable future!! Bonne chance.

[Doodle]

Pickles, so sorry to hear that news.

Chris

[Doodle]

Charly, I quite agree with everything you say.

He is 72 years but not an old man in any way but he is stubborn, even his wife cannot persuade him. When I spoke to him yesterday he said he wanted to get on with the garden! I can't repeat here my response! I threatened a trip to the UK to physically take him to get it done but I know it would be a wasted journey. I think I will now try shock tactics using the websites.

Chris

[Doodle]

Thank you all for the very informative info, I must now concentrate on picking out the relative information.

JK. he received the results of the biopsy two weeks ago which stated malignent. I don't know too much about these things but I thought malignent meant cancerous and therefore must be removed asap. Incidentally, he is a private Bupa patient. T

he moles previously removed were non cancerous - seems to me like they started the wrong way round!

Chris

[Daft Doctor]

Hi Knee gel, the only exception to what you have said is that if the lesion was a specific type of skin cancer known as a Basal Cell Carcinoma (BCC) it never spreads beyond the local skin and is not therefore life threatening. There is not therefore such a panic about having those lesions treated urgently, even though they are cancerous. Having said that, BCCs usually occur on the face and its much more likely that your friend is indeed risking his life by delaying treatment. Maybe his wife would know specifically what the lesion is, if its a BCC you can relax, if not keep at him!

[JSKS]

Daft Doctor - good advice. i would just take issue with your statement that BCC never spreads. The incidence of metastasis to the lymph or lungs is between .003 and .5 percent (wide variation due to rarity of the changes and limited reports).

I must say I have treated many BCCs on the head and neck and have never knowingly seen metastases. Plus, they are usually easily removed unless allowed to grow untreated and with a surgical margin of 5mm leave relatively small and easily managed defects (although I would tend to get a plastic's advice where there is a real risk of disfigurement).

Like you, I would encourage the OP to encourage the pt not to give up now. Why play Russian Roulette?

[JSKS]

Knee Gel:

Trouble is you only know they are cancerous once they are removed and biopsied. With MM, for example, the huge variety of presentations means we must be very cautious in making assumptions based on appearance.

[Charly]

There is some really good advice here - and I'm not being patronising.  All too often someone's fixed (and wrong) opinion on a forum as to what this illness is and what that legal document means can really affect and prejudice someone going to those properly qualified to give the correct opinion.  In this case we mostly seem to be trying to see how best to get a very stubborn horse to water AND make him have the treatment.  My bet would be his Wife.  She needs to step up and tell him straight just how selfish and uncaring he is being.  No decent person - whatever disinterest they might have in their own health and safety - would be happy if they thought they were making their nearest and dearest stressed and distressed just because they were determined on a course of action with no thought as to the consequences.  Don't see this as a case for standing back and respecting the patient's decision so that he can control what happens and when.  Perhaps someone needs to ask him why he is wasting money on BUPA?  Is this for his grand exit, perhaps? His gardening efforts could also come to nothing if he doesn't take the blinkers off soon.  He should be bullied and be  made aware as to how lucky he is that people care so much.  You can always stop caring.....he wouldn't like that very much : ask him?  A cantankerous family friend (of that age) and with serious claudication in both legs, who was a stroke risk, always refused to give up smoking however hard his family pleaded with him.  He behaved like an "aaarrrsss" and constantly used that old chestnut " well, we all have to die sometime!".   Things changed dramatically one day when he said that to his Doctor who calmly responded:  "Oh, I quite agree, but what if you don't die, but survive paralysed? brain-damaged? blind, speechless, incontinent?bed-ridden? "  "What a nightmare for you and what a life for your Wife and family".  He was very withdrawn for about a week and not quite so clever with his comments. Very soon after that he went to a Hypnotherapist and stopped smoking for ever.   Sometimes, you just have to be on someone's case until they stop being so selfish and wake up and take you - and life - seriously!

[Doodle]

Thanks Charly, your comments have given me the boost I needed to keep nagging as I was beginning to think what's the point. They are very dear friends and I don't want to be seen as scare mongering or interfering but I am now off to the phone to have another prod!

Chris

[Charly]

Good for you, and if he goes off you due to your nagging and won't see sense, then they don't deserve your kindness. Adopt us instead !!  Good luck, hope you can report some success.

[Doodle]

Finally got a call from our friend last night. I thought maybe I'd upset him but no, it appears he checked out the weblinks I'd sent him (thanks to those here who supplied them), he says he sat and scratched his head a little as it made him think and then made an appointment to see the doctor. The visit was yesterday and he tells me that the doctor said the best way to describe it is a very small island that will certainly not be any larger by september if at all and not to worry.

So there we have it, I've been a nagging, interfering old bat (he agrees and laughs) but it did the trick, he's knows the value of our friendship fortunately and his wife is over the moon as well. Let's hope the outcome in september is as jolly as all we can do for the moment is wait and see!

Chris

[Charly]

Well, if by being a nagging, interfering old bat, you may help save someone from a devastating illness - or worse - let's hear it for N.I. Old Bats everywhere.  Long may they prosper.

It is a terrific result because you can now stop worrying, being anxious about your friendship, thinking that you should be taking responsibility and being obsessed with "what ifs". I think we all want to give stuff our best shot, especially for good friends and family.  You've done that and, apart from successfully handing the baton firmly back to him - where it should be - you  have also really supported his Wife and stopped her feeling isolated with the worry. You've done this without worrying whether he will think the worse of you.  Try not to think about September, for now you have done all you can so re-adjust your smiley face [:D], straighten up your halo[:$] and with that news, have a lovely day !

[JSKS]

Well done for being such a good friend. At least he can now be assured that the problem has been professionally assessed.