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velcorin
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Everything posted by velcorin
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Fly Fishing
velcorin replied to dryfly's topic in West (Bretagne, Pays de la Loire, Poitou-Charente)
Best bet is a local tackle vendor. You can't shut my local dealer up once he starts. Check in the Pages Jeunes. Unlike most French websites, the Dept Federation Peche sites are pretty good http://fedepeche53.com/index.html look under AAPPMA for the local "club". Don't know Mayenne at all, but the concept of rivers/lakes being owned, or contolled, by someone, doesn't exist around us. If you can get to it, you can fish it. Even to the point that access to 1.5m of the bank in somebody's garden is perfectly legal. Don't forget the Carte de Peche. -
Re: Royal Navy to share ships with the French
velcorin replied to Théière's topic in The Lighter Side
Quite apart from the political considerations, maybe the MOD might want to check the French media..................and not let them build any of them[:D] 2008 the Rafaele fleet was grounded for 5 months due to a virus in the avionics package. Admitted after the problem had been fixed. In 20 years, despite paying the best bribes, they haven't sold a single one outside of France. Definately not from lack of effort[:D] 2009 Bastille Day. 2 Leclerc tanks missing from the parade unit. When asked why, the Army admitted at any time they were lucky if only 90% were immobile and they didn't have enough good ones today[:D] I think was 4 years after commissioning before the CdG moved under it's own power[:D] NB the nearest I came to the Armed Forces was 2 weeks officer training with the Paras. Hated it, spent most of trhe time bored out of my mind. I admire anyone who came put up with it. -
I just think they run out of ideas what to call places, and end up with something stupid. There's a lieu dit round us called Ane Mort. Why? I don't suppose the body is still there. Cue lots of schoolboy humour language posts[:)]
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Damn fast workers them Poles[:D] 'Course if it was France, you have to add at least 5 foncs, 2 GAs, and 6 unemployed ados. In Germany at least 4 Works Council enforcers and a Supervisory Board.
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First time I've seen that one. However I've been sent the same picture, from Germany, France, Australia and US [:D] Good to see the Brits are catching up with the modern world.
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Events site---Dordogne
velcorin replied to velcorin's topic in South West (Aquitaine, Midi-Pyrénées)
Thanks for the info. Weather's not bad here, dry and sunny, 15-18C. -
We are having our first ever holiday, as Brits would understand "holiday", next week in Dordogneshire, near Bergerac. 15 years married, but other things have always got in the way. Dominique's never actually been on an "British-style" holiday, apart from colanies de vacances, and being shipped off with a nanny to a gite every August. The Dordogne Tourisme site lives down to every expectation of French websites, so I though I'd ask if anyone knows of an anywhere else look, or anything else. Please do NOT mention the Bergerac Jazz Festival, I will hunt you down and kill you.............that's how much I hate jazz [:D](I won't call it music). No French theatre either. In our thirties, active, no kids, 1 Frog+1 Brit who (begrudgingly) speaks French (but don't tell the MiL). Cheers
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I have a BiL from Corsica, of whom I can't understand one word. And (I hope she doesn't see this), my wife speaking English grates on my English ears. On differing accents, after a few months in Barcelona I started to realise Juan Carlos had the Castillano equivalent of Phil Mitchell's accent. Most bizarre, but probably explained by him not living in Spain for the first 30 years or so of his life.
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Commuting to Geneva
velcorin replied to velcorin's topic in East (Rhône-Alpes, Bourgogne, Franche-Comté)
Hi Odile We had a great weekend. We stayed in Annecy, Gex, and drove around a lot. Herladyship liked the area aroung Thonen les Bains. A pity it wasn't summer, but she's happy, it helps that she's got a sister just south of Lyon, so not too far away. So, far so good. Early next month I will meet my future PdG, if that goes well, I'll say yes to the transfer. Sensibly I will be aiming to start in June/July. Still living in France is the clincher, (but she hates Paris) I'm sure Switzerland is wonderful, but once it used to be fun moving countries, now it is tedious, we simply getting a bit irritated constantly learning new bureaucracies, etc, the other option of Fribourg is therefore a definite NO. One further question, herladyship loves EastEnders (she thinks it teaches her about the British way of life[:D]), can you get sat-Freeview that far south? -
Commuting to Geneva
velcorin replied to velcorin's topic in East (Rhône-Alpes, Bourgogne, Franche-Comté)
Hi Many thanks everyone. Very useful info. I've commuted into London, Paris, Barcelona and Cologne they are all as bad as each other, I suppose I shouldn't expect Geneva to be any easier. We are going to drive down and spend the weekend looking around, and now we've got some starting points. Then I just need to to convince herladyship that snow is not actually harmful to human health. -
Hi, We currently live in Paris, but I've been offered a job in Geneva. Before I say yes, obviously I want to do some research. Ideally we'd like to live on French side of the border, cheaper property, french wife, culure we understand, etc. Is it practical to commute? Anyone got any experience, or information they can pass on? Is the Jura or Haute Savoie commutable?
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Flanked by officials from the United Elf Toytinkerers union, SantaCorp CEO Kris Kringle today told the House Ways and Means Committee that without immediate government financial help, his firm would be forced to declare bankruptcy, lay off thousands of elves and reindeer, and potentially cancel its annual worldwide Christmas Eve toy delivery. "These are grim economic times for everyone, but even more so for non-profit toy manufacturers in the Snow Belt," said Kringle. "Our accountants have indicated that we are on track to exhaust our reserves of cash and magical pixie fairydust by December 23. Oh deary me." Kringle and UET union president Binky McGiggles presented a draft emergency bailout plan to the committee calling for US $18 trillion in federal grants, loan guarantees, and sugarplum gumdrops that they said would keep the company solvent through December 26. "We believe this proposal shows that management and labor can work together to craft a reasonable, financially responsible short-term survival plan," said McGiggles. "After the new Congress is seated in January, we would be happy to return to present a long-term package to get us through April." Kringle warned that failure to approve the plan would have dire global economic consequences. "Oh goodness," said an emotional Kringle, fumbling with his glasses, "think of all the children who will wake up sad and angry and confused on Christmas morning, with nothing in their stockings. Let's just say I wouldn't want to be their parents. Or a someone answering your switchboards on December 26." SantaCorp, which lost over $2 trillion in FY 2007, has seen a steady erosion in market share and profitability over the last five years. Industry analysts say that its precarious position is due to a number of factors. "You might say it's a perfect snowstorm," said Merrill Lynch analyst Jennifer Rothstein. "The youth consumer market is demanding more for less, at a time when the government and courts have forced SantaCorp to lower its 'good list' credit rating standards. They face increased non-union competition from the East Pole, and huge increases in fuel prices for magical reindeer flying hay. It's a hard sell for the investment community." Veteran market watcher Charles Kessler of ToyWeek said SantaCorp's labor cost structure was a significant factor in its recent struggles. "After the 1982 strike SantaCorp offered the UET a generous pension plan promising free lifetime candy canes and unicorns," explained Kessler. "It seemed like a good idea at the time, but the company accountants forgot to factor in elf immortality." Despite the dire picture painted by Kringle and union officials, they encountered skeptical questioning from some committee members. Several members slammed the SantaCorp officials for flying to the hearing on a private luxury sleigh, while others openly questioned the company's business model. "Almost every business in my district has had to adjust to the new economic climate, but SantaCorp seems to believe it can continue with the same old profligate giveaway business-as-usual," said Paul Ryan (R-Wisconsin). "I'm sorry for your situation, but it is difficult to justify giving trillions of US taxpayer dollars to a private company that is outmoded, headquartered offshore, and, frankly, imaginary." Kringle defended the company's business practices and his reported 4 billion cookie annual salary, saying that the company was "doing the best we can under trying circumstances." He also blamed the company's struggles in part on federal environmental and safety regulations. "Frankly the amount of paperwork you require is astronomical," said Kringle. "OSHA inspections and reporting requirements have doubled our factory production cycle, and every time I tramp a little fireplace soot into a living room I have to fill out three separate EPA environmental impact reports." Kringle also urged the committee to enact industry tort protections, saying that the company remained saddled with crushing legal and insurance bills following the landmark 1974 class action liability case Nader v. Jarts, Clackers, SantaCorp, et al. UET President McGiggles warned that failure to pass a bailout package would have dire social consequences. "All of you have seen the bleak pictures of how plant layoffs have already effected ToyTown -- the boarded-up gingerbread houses covered in frosting grafitti, the abandoned sleighs up on blocks, the widespread crime and sucrose abuse, the antler-wielding gangs of unemployed reindeer yearlings," said McGiggles. "That is only a hint of what is to come if the plant shuts down. If you think an industry bailout is expensive, well, just consider the cost of a full-scale violent rioting by millions of desperate unemployed elves, with warehouses full of surplus BB guns." House Ways and Means committee chairman Charles Rangel (D-New York) motioned to end the hearings, saying that with only 7 bailout shopping days before Christmas the committee needed to move on to other industries facing emergency financial crises. "The American economy and Christmas itself stand on the edge of disaster, It's time for my colleagues show we are good boys and girls," said Rangel, who is reported to have received over $6 million in campaign contributions from SantaCorp and the UET over the last two years. A full House vote on the SantaCorp is scheduled Friday morning, where it is expected to pass by a comfortable margin. President Bush has pledged to sign any and all bailout request from Congress until the end of his term, "no queshnions ast." "I want to insurer the American People and the evil doers that I and the Crongress and the Hankster [Treasury Sec. Paulsen] and Big Ben [possibly Fed Chair Bernanke] and [unintelligible] and me are unineted together to approve the financial aid and regulations and federal takeovers to get our American free ennerpise system back on track," said the President, speaking from inside his new shoe-proof plexiglas enclosure. In concluding the hearings, Rangel gave the SantaCorp officials a personal vote of confidence. "We believe in you, Santa," said Rangel, handing Kringle what appeared to be a list. "As long as you continue to believe in us."
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CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE PSYCHIATRICALLY CHALLENGED 1. Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear? 2. Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Kings Disoriented Are 3. Amnesia — I Don’t Know if I’ll be Home for Christmas 4. Narcissistic —Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me 5. Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and ....... 6. Paranoid — Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me 7. Borderline Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire 8. Full Personality Disorder– You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll tell You Why 9. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder —Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells… 10. Agoraphobia — I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn’t Leave My House 11. Senile Dementia — Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles From My House in My Slippers and Robe 12. Oppositional Defiant Disorder — I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House 13. Social Anxiety Disorder — Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas while I Sit Here and Hyperventilate
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(Oddly curtesy for a Madrid colleague!) Chav Nativity innit There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?) She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit? He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like 'Wot yoo lookin at?' Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.' Mary's totally gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah! I ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one! So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself. Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that. She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we are gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right' Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go dahn Beflehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her bay-bee an' that. But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that. Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their heads. They're like 'Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're wise men from the East End. Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an' myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry? 'It's all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another message from this Lord geezer. He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees. You better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged it you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey' Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, mate. But it's your look out if you stay.' So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an' it's safe an' that. Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water into Stella